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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/8/2006 4:44:15 PM | Hello Coolchick,
I think that sometimes people send a short introductory (ice breaker) email due to having had no success when they have written a long and labouriuos epic of an equiry and not received evan a 'no thanks' as a courtousy reply.
I think this guy's main mistake was in not having any depth to his profile, which, as you say you did take the time to investigate. If he had taken the time to put some personal detail in and had you liked what he had to say then maybe you would have emailed back (a short reply yourself) and who knows love may have bloomed
As I am probably one of the worst offenders, of this type of behaviour, I supppose I am just trying to justify myself, but maybe I have been wrong in my assumption that sending an ice breaker was acceptable. At least by reading this forum it's made me put some detail (although mostly tongue in cheek) to my profile.
And this is the longest passage I've written on this site:)
Anyway good luck and check out tj1816's reply to jimlp1's response 'classic' | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 8:02:25 AM | UGH. THIS IS TO MY OWN GENDER.
Please get your $#!t Together because you are coming across real pathetic.
These ladies are on here to get away from what they usually find, in hopes of finding
something BETTER. And this is what they get? its a shame.
It makes OTHER guys look like crap.
Anyways, I don't think those kind of people will bother with a forum thread. They have 2 words in their profile.
Maybe this is the reason why some women don't really have much on their profile. They figure the pictures will do the trick and guy's don't bother reading anyways.
I am sorry to say this ladies but I can't apologize on the behalf of my gender as a whole but
I do feel your pain.
truly Sad.
If you're holding the keys to the secret, do us all a favor and share it. If not, SHHHH.
Asshat. | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 10:07:13 AM |
You know, the sad thing is that there are women on this site with similar profiles who are sending these kinds of emails to guys. - gallivanting1
This comment was made a while ago, but I just had to say, "Yes, they do." Some of my favorites were, "Hi, you look nice" or "How r u?" or "Liked your profile."
It's even better when they IM you, and they're just as witty and brilliant in instant messaging.
I'm no Albert Eistein, and I'm not setting the bar THAT high, but sheesh. | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 10:42:42 AM | I have ignored messages before and I don't feel very nice for doing it, but I would feel worse for having to tell them that they don't measure up. If I got that kind of response I'd be trying to figure out what was so repulsive and it would bug the hell out of me.
For me I just think that maybe there are some guys who are in a relationship but they are just checking the women out and if a 'slut' messaged him he'd had some fun, but a seemingly respectable woman would get ignored because she'd either figure him out, or wouldn't sleep with him. Who knows what reasons people have. Why do people need to told be straight out that they are undesired?
How about just trusting that if a woman seems an alright but busy person (she should mention that), she's not responding for good reason. If you're not our type of man and we're never going to love you, how much time you you want us to spend making polite conversation when you're never going to get anywhere? (I actually started to add more about what I was looking for to justify when I have to read/delete. If you are 21, shorter than me, no career, then it's your fault that you can't read and understand. Didn't I say inteligent too?)
Why be so hard on us because we come on here looking for something we don't find in the day-to-day? Every time I have responded tactfully to someone that doesn't take my fancy, it has been met by more harrassing emails. If we want to keep talking to guys this way, we can log off and speak face to face with the nimwits, losers, and yes, even nice but unlucky guys that we encounter every day.
I guess we need to go to a dating agency where a matchmaker can stay in the middle and prevent people with zero in common from upsetting each other! | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 12:18:50 PM | A picture says a thousand words, background can tell her if he's got $$ a good catch or worthless bum. Most men are rejected from the start, women arnt looking to support a guy,she want him to support her ! Only law of nature ! So i guy thats been turned down several times will make a tiny attempt, write afew words to mybe break the Ice. Than again he might be a criminal ! Ha ,does a Women believe anything a guy puts in his profile ,haha ! | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 3:04:45 PM | Let’s Marinate:
Some women play hard to get. Us guys just need to work harder to get thier attention. That works both ways too. Ever heard of futility? On this site, I've contacted about 250, and out of all those, only 3 returned a "not interested" message. There were another 6 or so that carried on a conversation for a while (whether friendship or more I shan't classify it for now), but only 1 who've I met - so let's call that 10 in total - a response ratio of 1:25. Supposedly from some study done in the 1990's, the odds of picking someone up in a bar is only 1:14 (from a man's point of view). At another dating site where I've contacted many more (almost 2,000), the ratio is closer to 1:50 (including those courteous enough to reply "not interested"). A guy can only do so much before "burning out" on the attempts and/or before resorting to one-liners and form messages. [Don't get me wrong - it's taken 9 months to contact 250, or a fraction less than one per day.]
On the flip side, I can understand that sending 50-100 "not interested"'s in a day can be a chore, especially on this site where there is no "not interested" button for the inbox. However, if a message is NOT a one-liner or crude, do all you ladies still prefer to hit delete instead of a short reply? When faced with a well-written paragraph or two, why are we still faced with the silent treatment? | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 3:49:56 PM | | ^^^ I can totally understand that, and when I first came here, it was a bit frustrating to get the "read" or "read delete" and no response. I didn't send out very many, but still, it was to ones where I took the time to write something out of the ordinary....you know, it looked like we had some things in common. Then I realized that if they don't like my pictures or whatever, that's their call. Whatever. If people are that shallow, the way I figure is that I don't want anything to do with them, anyways. I consider the audience. | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 4:11:43 PM | | what and who the fuk are you replying too? if its me maybe i'll pay u a visit, iron pumping lady boy??? wot a **** anyway woman pandering CREEP | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 4:39:09 PM | i usually respond to all...even if it's "no thanks" or "i don't do intimate encounters". but, i'm not impressed w/ someone who sends a "hi" or asks "how are you?" that person strikes me as boring. look at my profile...even an idiot should be able to figure out that sending a joke would be an excellent icebreaker.
my question concerns idiots who write too much, not too little. here's the situation. 2nd email to me professes to like my pics. his profile now has one of my shots displayed. so i ask if that's why he stole one. (i'm thinking, i found it, posted it, so others on POF shouldn't use it...at least, not without asking. yes, i know imitation is supposedly the most sincere form of flattery.)
here's the reply:
"Ever look in the lower right hand corner of your pictures? There is proof that you did not shoot the original photos involved. Yes, YOU stole them from someone else's company website. That's what .com means--company. In other; words a business. You are the original thief. Nice try. Is that you on the camel?"
why would ANYONE bother to respond to that? yeah, that's gonna make me interested in you...it just shows this guy's character (or lack thereof)...sheesh. way to sabotage yourself, guy. totally not funny.
pardon my rant.... | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 5:02:56 PM | | You're right, why would you respond when you get a bunch of e-mails everyday I'm sure (meant as a compliment not sarcasm, well a little sarcasm, but mostly compliment). But if a guy says that he would respond, here is the real reason ... he's not getting many e-mails ... and sometimes its is just nice to see something in the old in-box, you know what I mean. But I see your side, I imagine that there are many more men out there 'spammin' every pretty girl on the site than there are women doing the same. | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 5:05:34 PM | A tip for girls:
Get a long, well-thought-out e-mail from a guy who just doesn't pique your interest?
"Thank you for the attention and the time you took to e-mail me, but I'm just not interested."
That's polite. Ignoring them isn't. Ignoring someone is NEVER polite.
Don't want to date guys without pictures?
"I don't date guys without pictures. Do you have one that you could send?"
Some people don't want to post their pic for everyone to see.
Also, if you're going to refuse a guy because of a lack of a picture, you surrender the right to accuse guys of being shallow. | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 7:17:57 PM | Chris997: Hey come on now, Are you signing yourself off as asshat? Hahahahahaha....
I dont believe there really is any secret. I just think that people need to click. If it takes you more than 2 days of constant chatting/emailing like geeks to actually hook up, talk, meet, whatever... (unless its a special case when she's far away and wants to plan things out) then you should just forget about it. Waste no one's time bro. I went down that lane, thats why I have it specifically stating in my profile. So thats about it...
Name calling isn't cool man. Have a good one :) | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 8:34:29 PM | I'm with Rabbitman. There's only so much unrewarded effort a man, or any human being for that matter, can put into something before he seriously questions whether or not there's even a point to trying. I'm only at 77 on this site but I've been at this internet thing now for six years on different sites with the same lack of success; twelve years overall on the dating scene. I'm seriously wondering if I'll ever find what I'm looking for, or if I'll end up living alone in a run-down apartment somewhere never leaving my home except for work and food, surrounded by cats as I sit up at night listening to Coast to Coast AM...
I dunno. I think my friend and radio colleague Cowboy says it best:
"If you don't pet the dog once in awhile, he won't stay on the porch."
Hell I don';t know what's going on. It's been a long and disappointing day and I'm rambling. | |
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Ldygmr
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Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 142 | |
| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 9:46:42 PM | Or let's go the flip side of this conundrum....
You get an email. Check out the profile, KNOW this is not what you are interested in furthering and send a polite "No thank you".
And they respond with a vicious attack on your gold digging racists biggoted nasty a$$ character. (no lie)
Why would I respond if I get bitterness and anger back? | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 10:14:32 PM |
Or let's go the flip side of this conundrum....
You get an email. Check out the profile, KNOW this is not what you are interested in furthering and send a polite "No thank you".
And they respond with a vicious attack on your gold digging racists biggoted nasty a$$ character. (no lie)
Why would I respond if I get bitterness and anger back?
Then the few (I'm quite certain that the men who do that constitute a far smaller percentage of men on this site than the women who leave those "Read Deleted" things in our outboxes do of the women) times that happens, you've done the right thing. You're on the moral high ground now. Congratulations! | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 10:23:56 PM | | I'll say this in one word again this is theINTERNET!!! to some ppl out there we arent real because they cant see us. to them we are just words plain and simple. There are no consquences in cyber space for not responding to an E-mail. | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 10:33:48 PM | This is what we call natural selection, you seem like an educated person and I don’t want to bust your bubble, but think about this ok, would you like a man with a rich vocabulary like himself to change his ways and write a little more, and put a picture on his profile just to please people, and at the same time fooling your normally good judgment, end up going on a few dates, just to realize he doesn’t say much and have nothing in common! DAMN…. ALL that time wasted for nothing, if only he would have been honest enough to write in his profile he was boring……..
So, in all, everything is fine, every body is a winner, unless he ****ed about you not writing back, and if he did block him. | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/9/2006 11:10:35 PM | My guess to why some women don't respond to even to well thought-out messages is that they are not here to meet ordinary people. They are here to see if the guys they know in their daily lives are that much worse than the guys on the internet. And maybe try to look for that one-in-a-million kind of guy. But the people you see at the work or school makes up the population of the internet. So, at the end of the day, internet dating is a zero-sum game.
Am I totally wrong? I only had a limited experience in this, so I could be well off the mark. | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/10/2006 12:21:47 AM | | Somebody needs to change your diaper. Stop whining about the ones who don't respond and start being afraid of the ones who do! | |
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| WHY WOMEN DON'T RESPOND: A REBUTTAL
Posted: 6/10/2006 12:45:17 AM | Wow, you certainly seem like you are "1coolchick', and (very)smart to boot. I just wanted to bounce a few of my thoughts/ideas off you:
1. I've written seemingly countless E-mails on here, with picture, with...basically anything that was asked for. No street slang, no profile with everything unchecked. Result: not only do I see 'read/discarded', most of the time I see 'unread' !
So how do you reconcile that ?
2. I realize my profile may come off as somewhat bitter, but it really isn't. Then again, I've gotten such accolades as 'brilliant' and 'genius' on it, so I don't know... I guess I'll revise it here again shortly and see what happens.
3. I guess this site really reflects reality for the most part ... a 3:1 or 4:1 male to female ratio.
Finally....I sure do wish we were a bit closer in location, you really seem like a breath of fresh air in comparison to many people on here ....
Thanks,
Klaus (yes, it's German...)  | |
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