| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/16/2006 8:54:19 PM |
ch ch change the way u think sheesh. Change your mind take control oh god this is all so lost on you people yawn nightie nite
Blondie's right. Rude, but right.
Your brain is not the boss of you, learn and exercise discipline. Keep busy and keep in contact with whatever friends and family you do have. You're going to be okay if you allow yourself to be.
~Thunder | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:12:06 PM | what is wrong with people now adays. Sir don't you know that when a person dies we mourn for this person.. we greeve for weeks at a time the limit is 2yrs. but most of us it is only a few months then we get back on are way in life
NOW ... it is the same thing with a EX..... you mourn the person for 2weeks.. or a year. depending on how long. i was with my last partner for 19months.. it took me 9 months to get over him. but i have done it.. you have to let the mourning prosses. in.. it is the death of a relationship... you have to cry all the pain out. and belive me i shed buckets and buckets on this one.. never have i ever loved a man .. not even my husband.. this is the first man i have loved.. and he destroyed me.. But in the end.. I am a better person and so will you be..
Get off your butt.. get her letters.. get your pictures, get your personal items. and take them and greeve over them.. let yourself cry.. let yourself die inside again.. and then when you cant take it anylonger.. and all the feelings are gone..
Wake up.. and start your day.. it is over. take her stuff and get rid of it.. I gave all his stuff back.. every thing i had.. left.. the rest i packed in boxes and it sits in the grauge just a nother chapter in my life.
Sir are you still haning on to your first girlfriend, or what about your first A in school do you still have that pice of paper.. do you have your first tooth you lost.. or your first underware you ever worn... NO>. well most people dont..
it is for the past..
Take a pice of paper and list all the quailtys you miss in her.. now on the back write all the things that broke up the relationship.. then at the bottom. write why you ended the relationship and if you had any hate towards. now place it in the bible and give her too god.. Let it go..
in a matter of days.. 3 to be perciced.. God will take it and he will take your pain away.. that is the truth.. regardless if you belive or not.. he will becouse you gave it too him.
Have a great live. and live your life.. be the man you want too be.. be the man you should have been in the FIRST PLACE.. good night. | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/17/2006 10:49:49 AM | Hi Journalist,
I as well went true an "obsession" with some one...maybe i still am, but the way I am trying to cope with it, I similar to you not having any close family, I have moved for my "obsession" accross country and left my family and friends for him, after 4 months living togethur he decided that it was over and left me alone without any one. My way of coping with this was to find a new obsession, since I had no friends or family here, looked for social groups i could join, joined POF to meet new friends, got back into what I like to do and think of me or change right away my thoughts when i would think of that person. I still think of him, it's not a bad thing, but it has gotten better, with time (of course, times heals every thing!) I do beleive that your odsession will lower down.
Hope this helps, keep your chin up! | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/17/2006 1:53:09 PM | Scientific proof on how to heal your broken heart:
"How can you stifle the passion for a partner who has deserted you? How can we smooth the journey back to sanity and liberation when our love has been rejected?"
"To begin with you must remove all evidence of the addictive substance: the beloved. Throw out cards and letters or stuff them in a box and put it out of reach. Don't call or write under ANY circumstances. And depart immediately if you see your former lover in the office or the street. Why? Because as Charles****ns said, "Love will thrive for a considerable time on a very slight and sparing food." Even the briefest contact with "him" or "her" can fire up your brain circuits for romantic ardor. If you wish to recover, you must expunge all traces of the thief who stole your heart."
"When you can't stop thinking about "him" or "her," dwell on their negative traits. Write down their faults and carry the list in your purse or pocket. Picture yourself walking arm in arm with someone who adores you, the perfect partner. Make it up. And make it good. Someone is camping in your brain; you must throw the scoundrel out."
"It is very important to stay busy. Call friends, visit neighbors. Go somewhere to worship. Learn to draw or play an instrument. Dance. Sing. Do crossword puzzles. Get a dog or cat or bird. Take that vacation you've always thought about. Write out your plans for the future. Exercise is particularly good for rejected lovers. Do anything that forces you to concentrate your attention, particularly things that you do well."
"Why? Because the despair of unrequited love is most likely associated with plummeting levels of dopamine in the brain. As you focus your attention and do novel things, you elevate this feel-good substance, boosting energy and hope."
"Any kind of physical exertion will elevate your mood. Jogging, biking, and other forms of strenuous physical activity are known to drive up levels of dopamine in the brain, bestowing feelings of euphoria."
"Avoid sweets or drugs that will stress your body and your mind. Count your blessings: optimism heals."
Material is excerpted from "Why We Love" by Helen Fisher, Ph.D. I highly recommend the book for anyone who would like to delve deeper into this subject. | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/17/2006 11:13:00 PM | Message 29.
Yes, we have the sorely missed 'Countrysidecat' to thank for first bringing this information to the boards.
Sounds an interesting book, too.
Country, if you're out there looking in, let's hope you're not having too much of a breeze wherever you are. 
Take care and regards
BB | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/17/2006 11:38:27 PM | well thats a good one cause im in the same but a little different spot.going thru a divorce after 5 years and lost my dad 94 days ago and my mom is getting remarried today.(grave still warm 32yrsmarried)  | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/18/2006 1:39:48 AM | yes, you are right ......it is so damn hard, whether it was for 2 and a half months or 2 and a half years.......it is still the same void in our souls.
time is the key..and yes i agree....one day at a time, or more likely 5 minutes at a time.
i wish we had the technology of the movie "eternity sunshine for a spotless mind"
PS. Not a good one to watch at this point........
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/18/2006 1:58:46 AM | THERES ALWAYS A RAINBOW AFTER A STORM......PEACE COMES WHEN YOU UNCLENCH YOUR FINGERS ..AND LET GO OF THE PAST ......I KNOW ITS HURTS ........YOU NEVER LEARN TO DEAL WITH PAIN YOU JUST LEARN HOW TO COPE BETTER.......ONE SMALL STEP AT A TIME ....NOTHING STAYS THE STAY NOT EVEN THE WEATHER ......HUGS  | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/18/2006 2:30:11 AM | | is it an obsession? or is it love? or is it just "puppy love". obsessions and infatuations just take time. dwell, grieve and cry and eventually your mind will forget to think about them, and your heart will forget to "love" them. but if you truly loved them, time may ease the heartache, but it'll never ease the feeling. | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:35:36 AM | | to be honest i havent read every single post here so i may be repeating somebody else's thoughts.....but one thing to think on is that the only one hurting or doing this thinking is you so it's a form of self hurting, the other person is blithely carrying on with oblivious to all this torture you are inflicting on yourself, this gives you the thought to use that "they don't give a damn why should i?" hmmm, i think i'm probably gonna make this one about little thoughts to arm yourself with, anyway i digress, little mantra's or acts or self discipline do help "i'm going to get over this some time, what's wrong with now?" fpr instance, another one is whenever you catch yourself having these thoughts to clamp down on yourself and drive them away again using thoughts like the aforementioned (or even a little anger) it wont happen in an instant but you can to a degree "condition" yourself away from it, it will take an amount of fortitude and patience tho , and one day you will wake up and realise "hey, my head's clear!" this may only last a few minutes but from then on you're on the way forwards, goodluck :) | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/18/2006 5:43:54 AM | | Just don't make the mistake of getting a divorce in the "hope" that he will too. You will end up with a big nothing and more heartache than you can imagine. Time is your friend. I live with the hurt every day. | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/18/2006 10:51:43 PM | Your heart wants what it wants. There is no rationale to it. I know alot about staying away from people that I care about because I'm not the best thing for them.
As far as emotional health, you may need a professional to talk to. Sometimes Depression, Lonelyness, stress all wear away at at your soul. You have to be in the right state of mind to love someone correctly.
With me time helped. Hell it took years. I was unnecessarily cruel to myself. It also helps to get angry, pissed off. It's a defense mechanism. Don't point it all inward.
Your a guy sooner or later you'll be checking out other girl's asses. You'll be Ok. | |
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| Scientific research on healing a broken heart
Posted: 6/18/2006 10:56:40 PM | Hi Journalist,
Message poster #29 excerpted the thread "Scientific Research on healing a broken heart" which was largely taken from Dr. Helen Fisher's book.
Persons interested in the topic and the very illuminating replies might like to look at the original thread on the Broken Hearts forum.
There's also an interesting book called "How to Break Your Addiction to a Person" which has some behavioral techniques on conquering this.
It's my personal opinion that staying busy is not enough, it's only when you're deeply lonely or unfulfilled that you are prey for an addiction. Somehow, Journalist, you need to find someone or something to fill the emptiness. Good luck.
CSC | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/18/2006 11:17:48 PM | | Hi cuddleslut389, tell me about it (emotional health) I have schizoaffective Disorder the depressive one, and catatonia, I just spent the past 30 or so min. trying to phsically move off the floor, I thought I wasn't getting up from this one but another victory for me, I' moving slow now, I can relate to stress and etc eating away at your soul, story of my life, lol, I agree with you as well cuddle slut. and msg 1, try to distract your mind away from the thoughts of the person, in my opinion the more time that is spent dwelling on it, the more your giving in to it, no offense. and things also in my opinion are meant to end even obsessions=) | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/24/2006 1:29:51 PM | I am recently in the same situation, ive known him for 6 years and we had a sexual relationship, but i always wanted more and just thinking of him would make me think of him all day... well he hadnt called me in a long time so i kept calling and he got mad and it just made me feel like i couldnt breathe, and i felt like i was going to die, so i tried to fix things by leaving him a message and saying i was sorry for everything and hoping we can still be friends.. not sure if it will work but i hope so.
something about him just makes me want him more and more i dont know why that is. | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/25/2006 6:11:11 PM | We always want what we can't have....going thru the same thing now myself. Been with someone off & on for 4 yrs. now.....just when I start to move on, he comes back. No offense to the men, but pretty much decided men are like fungus....just when you think you're rid of them, they always come back!!
The only thing that has helped me so far is this POF site. Nice to wake-up in the mornings & read all the beautiful things people have to say about you. All of these people have helped me more than they will ever know!!! TY!!!! | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/25/2006 6:32:50 PM | Journalist, I find many of these people replying a bit shallow, I can feel your pain and hurt, I've been there. Met the woman of my dreamd, broke up my marriage, sold my house and even gave up my job. Then one day she said she just wanted to be friends well I just about went L:IUGO&IT^TO*YBUY*%^. Now it's four years later and still she seeps into my thoughts, some times it's bad others it's just OK. How do you get over it, well when you find out let me know. But the really bad part is it affects your relationships today, can you love again so much and loose so much when it's gone.
I hope you can go on and I hope that some one special will come in to your life, really special thats the cue, just don't turn yourself off to the possibilities. Once there with you you will forget because, you have that special some>>>>>IT WILL HAPPEN! | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/26/2006 9:20:21 AM | it will get better try getting a bean-bag chair to punch
as a way to deal with any anger i loved a man for three years, in vain we never even dated. when i looked at him, i felt so much hope for us don't worry, one day you will rise above her bullcrap you desere to be happy with a woman who will give it a shot with you. | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 6/26/2006 8:36:39 PM |
Been with someone off & on for 4 yrs. now.....just when I start to move on, he comes back. No offense to the men, but pretty much decided men are like fungus....just when you think you're rid of them, they always come back!!
Women can also slide in and out of one's life. Kind of hard to move on when after ___ amount of time the feelings subside then the person comes back and the feelings begin to return. Not a fun process.
-KronicDreamz | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 7/2/2006 6:14:07 PM | A song that helped me break my obsession/infatuation was "Let Him Fly" by The Dixie Chicks. Forget the BS you've heard about them, listen to the song, and you, too will see that there is beauty in just letting go.
I was obessed with a man that I only knew for a short time. We had a lot in common, I really thought that he was the one for me. Then one day he just stopped talking to me. Never heard from him/saw him again. I was heart broken, but I eventually moved on. | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:48:12 PM | | It takes time and grieving, then eventually letting go of it...I think that's the hardest part. I find that getting out there and dating again is a bit of a help, even if you don't feel like it. Just don't talk to the date about the one that got away. Hang in there, it gets better! | |
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| How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:54:57 PM | I was in love.. but I was his 'summer fling" but didn't know it. I made plans for us over the 6 months we had, and he went along with it. We had the holidays, met his folks, went to a family funeral, etc.. and I was hooked. Then we talked about moving in, and he made a left turn and all his answers were wrong. Silly answers to problems we were having. I think what hurts the most is.. I became the girl that came before me. She was on here too, but he dumped her and made crazy accusations... And now he has another one, 'found' at almost exactly the same time of year.
do guys that go to school plan summer flings? and how do I mend my heart? | |
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