| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 6/23/2006 6:23:23 AM | | Don't people have more self esteem than to even have to think about this question? Don't you make your own money so that you don't have to worry about whether your partner has cash or not? | |
|
| |
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 6/23/2006 10:29:29 AM | I have no idea why women fall for certain guys. I heard confidence is something. I wouldn't put much thought into it because if they are anything like me there is no rhyme nor reason. Some basics that never change for me are: SLENDER, PRETTY, MORAL, LOVES ME, SHORTER THAN ME, and EDUCATED.
Now for women I am going to guess here: Muscular, handsome, confident, taller than them, loves them, and stable financially.
Riches, bad guy, poor behaviour etc that is stuff that don't exist in people's choices, it is just something they find out later. | |
|
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 6/23/2006 4:48:35 PM | Jarbarian said:
1.) THE NICE GUY: Any man who exibits any combination of the following behaviors,
--------------------------------------------*snip*----------------------------------------
I have been told that I am a 'nice guy' by many people, male and female. And I would consider myself one, also. But I don't fit ANY of the criteria you list. I also know a few men whom I would consider to be 'nice guys'. And none of them fit any of those descripions, either. In fact, I don't think anybody would think that THAT describes a 'nice guy' - I think they would be of the opinion that it describes somebody in serious need of psychiatric help, and a pathetic, empty shell of a man, who has neither a life, or anything even close to it.
I mean come on! To take a few of your "criteria":
f.) Doesn't take responsibility for his actions
n.) Poor/weak body language; little or no eye contact, leans foward out of nervousness, fast/jerky movements, nervous ticks/figety habits, hands in pockets, bad posture/doesn't stand up straight.
What crap. THIS describes a 'nice guy'???? ALL those points describe someone who is pretty pathetic and has serious problems......not only NOT "a nice guy" - but plainly, not a nice PERSON.
As for your definition of a "real man" - 95% of these points would describe someone who would fit the "nice guy" scenario. In other words, someone can be a "real man" and also be a "nice guy".
Your thinking is badly flawed.
You quote a message thread:
"My first bf was absolutely in love with me. He was the nicest guy I ever went out with. Total gentleman. Sincere. A great listener. Handsome. With all of this I let him go. Why? I still don't know!!! Up to this point he still tells everyone I was the one broke his heart, his first and only love. He was the closest to perfect that there can be."
Do you really think that this girl would describe her ex-boyfriend as possessing ANY of your above "nice guy" points? I don't THINK so.
While I do agree with some of your other observations, you really need to work on what constitutes a "nice guy". | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/8/2006 7:56:05 PM | Speaking as a guy who gets out a bit,,,,,,,,,, the income or money has never mattered......the person has.
So the only non foolish answer would be sweet and low........and thats not the coffee sweetener.
But there are plenty of well established sweet guys too.
The character of the person is the fixer. | |
|
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/8/2006 7:59:42 PM | No one wants to be in an abusive relationship,
some women stay for various reasons, though.
As for me, I would only want to be with the
guy who treats me well. Having a lot of money
does not make one nicer or better to be with. | |
|
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/8/2006 8:33:18 PM | shesh... how awful to pick between 2 losers...broke or abusive ?
shesh .... NEITHER !!!
how about balanced, well adjusted and financially secure?
shesh... why even bother with a man if he isnt all of those ? | |
|
| |
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/9/2006 6:46:18 AM | always the sweet guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
his income doesn't matter so long as he can support himself and you can support yourself.
But if the sweet guy wants a Sugar Momma - be single.
The abusive guy is NEVER the choice and neither should be the high income guy if that's the only reason you want to be with him. | |
|
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/9/2006 6:55:07 AM | | Most of the people above me have said similiar things and I agree with them....People stay in relationships for a number of reasons. In the abusive situation, perhaps the woman does not feel she has anyone to turn to, finding herself alone with or without kids could be pretty scary especially when that is not the life you ever figured you would have or want for yourself (or your kids) and then attempting to leave and having to find a safe and secure place. Also by this time a fear factor...perhaps retaliation if they get caught, the disrespect, embarrassment..I told you so syndrome... etc and as others have said, becomes a confidence issue.. as by now they probably don't have much, if any at all. If people say things to you enough times, for some, you start believing it. For myself, hands down, there would be no issue here. I would much rather have the sweet responsible guy, with the respect and everything that goes along with it rather than the thick wallet and guy that treats you like dirt. As the saying goes...money doesn't always buy happiness. | |
|
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/9/2006 3:45:00 PM | Gosh, such extremes, and so negative!! No wonder I'm still single! Are those seriously my only choices? NO thanks.  How about a nice respectful caring gentle but masculine, interesting spiritually connected financially stable guy who thinks I am wonderful and wants to spend his life with me?? Can I have that instead of those other two?? | |
|
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/9/2006 4:25:56 PM | | I have noticed that guys w/o a lot of money actually tend to be nicer. I don't know if it is because different bankbooks reflect different value systems (ie; some of the highest paying jobs a re morally repugnant) or because guys with money can get away with being abusive- there will always be someone needy enough to put up with it. Maybe it is a little of both. But don't ask me "which one" I would go with. There are plenty of fish in the sea! | |
|
| |
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/9/2006 6:00:56 PM | | Thanks, I feel and am told I am a nice guy but like you, I was concerned over the definitions put forth. I fit more into the so called "real man" category. I would hate to see his defintion of a "not nice guy". | |
|
| |
| |
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/10/2006 1:15:57 PM | Often people who make a lot of money have to fight for it, argue for it, bill constantly for it, manage it, or simply beat the competition over and over. Or high pressure jobs with lots of responsibility. A surgeon friend of mine complains of life-changing procedures, explaining those procedures to folks without education, the expense, the drama from support staff, the religious overtones, the time constraints and then coming home to a wife and children who complain about his not participating in some home decorating project. He is always over the top, on the move and moody.
Or my police officer friends. Lots of authority but not a lot of respect. Busting down doors but then guys like me tearing apart how they did it in court. The younger or less experienced ones really have it hard.
If you just show up for 40 hours a week, make $35k to $60k, have little contact with the public, and avoid responsibility over others, then your life is probably easier and permits you to be a nice guy. Our jobs really drive our personalities. | |
|
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/10/2006 1:33:13 PM | | I once dated a hot guy with money who wasn't disrespectful/abusive to me, but he was to others--what a total turn off! I'll take a sweet respectable guy with low income over that any day! | |
|
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/10/2006 1:51:03 PM | I have not read any of the other posts yet...
but here is my two cents worth....
woman stay in abusive relationships because of fear...not because of money(well..maybe some do).I should know..but he didnt have money. I was afraid of leaving..what he would do if i left...what would happen with the kids?.....afraid of the unknown out there in the world.
Now if you give me the choice ,I would definiately pick the Sweet,poor guy.It would definatly be great for any womans self esteem. | |
|
| |
| |
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/10/2006 3:28:32 PM | | Professions and incomes have nothing to do with with sweetness or abuse,what a idiotic forum,one with a high income does not always become abusive,one with a low income is not always sweet,male or female actually,so guess what it takes two to make it work,LOVE should never be based on a income it should be based on the heart,love and let live,thats my quote | |
|
Home
login 
