| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/11/2006 6:27:29 AM | what the heck?
the answer is obvious...anyone with a brain in their head would choose the nice guy with low income over the abusive jerk. i can't even believe the length of some of the posts responding to this.
it's ridiculous. | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 9/11/2006 7:16:11 AM | | Well obviously this forum will be a challenge to many,its not even worth the debate,a man can be abusive and jealous and angry just like the next with out even basing this on any income,the gate swings both ways women to can be abusive and hurtful,WE ARE ALL HUMAN,and we all walk a different path,this forum is idiotic because truthfully there is no debate or challenge with this because it makes no sence,i will never ever put myself in harms way again,been there,and again we are all human,and lets just say no man will ever throw his boots at me again, | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 11/13/2006 4:14:51 AM | In my life, I've discovered that there is a significantly high number of women who just stay with someone, even if they treat her like shit, just to be with someone????????????????????/
No! I've actually never known anyone like that.
Mostly because those girls can find somebody else. Always. | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 11/29/2006 4:28:09 AM | This is a no brainer...........anyone who would be with a man just for his money is not worth being with and being abusive......well that just doesn't make any sense. I would much rather be with a man who respects me and is fun to be with, you don't need money to fall in love or have a good time. | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 11/29/2006 4:50:00 AM | Unfortunately, he's right..it IS about self-sesteem. Its definitely not that women don't want a good man. I actually don't go for the rochies....they tend to have different priorities than I do, but I know women that THINK they have good reason to go for guys with money.
Personally, theres not a good enough reason in the world for me to actually stay with a man after he begins treating me badly. I've been there before and it just so happens that it was my kid's father, which made it harder to give his triflin' butt the boot...but it had nothing to do with money or security. He was a jackass...and therefore did not deserve me or my affections. I guess there are ladies that for some reason don't know their own worth and will stay with a man whose abusive (verbally). I think thats more to do with them feeling that they don't DESERVE someone whose good to them.  | |
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Zain.
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Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 56 | |
| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 11/29/2006 12:40:49 PM | | any women who would take an abusive jerk with a high income over a nice guy with a low or modest income deserves all the misery she gets. It just shows that to her money is more important then being a nice human being money isn't good for anything if you're miserable. and you can't change a person people can only change themselves if he's an abusive ***hole he's gonna stay an abusive ***hole | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 11/29/2006 12:48:03 PM | | Simple solution, go to college, get a good job, make your own money, pick the nice guy no matter what the income....if he's a good guy, works hard and is responsible who cares how much money he makes. | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 2/8/2008 10:24:40 PM | | geez well that really sux if women really arent attracted to the "nice guys" like jarbon or whoever said. cuz im definately one of em cuz i have alotta those traits and those people who have those traits are most likely depressed to like me. Anyhow the problem with me is I need to finally find a girlfreind to be able to get out of feeling crappy and if women just arent attracted to those type of guys then what is a guy like me to do.. feel like crap forever?.. or die of alcohol poisoning? | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 2/8/2008 11:29:30 PM | | I'd LOVE a sweet and sexy broke a$$ b@stard any day over a gravy-pissing pr1ck. (Incidentally...the gravy-pissers are even cheaper than the broke-a$$ **stards, ladies). Now, if that broke-a$$ **stard happened to come upon a change of fortune, I'd hope he'd have found me to be benevolent enough to share it!! Love, Titus | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:03:08 PM |
I will take a nice, respectful, loving man, with a low income, before I would tolerate an ***hole who had money!
I have a single parent friend who says she's unable to hold steady, physically demanding work because of a health condition. She's trying to get a degree, but, with no steady income and a child to raise, it's hard, especially since she says her ex was ordered to leave the usa. she says that they take food stamps away if you get financial aid for school, and it's not enough to pay bills anyway. she said she was getting married next year, but the guy is pretty mean. she says he keeps threatening to throw her out and cut her off if they argue. he checks her phone, which he pays for, and she's afraid that just talking to me online will get her into trouble if he's checking key strokes. she has not been to visit us in months. i told her to get out, but she feels she has no options left if she wants to provide for her son. i think she may be blowing the situation with financial aid out of proportion, but i don't really know. i told her to go to the family crisis centre. she said "what r they gonna do really? tell me to go to a shelter."
is it really that tough for women to find solace and help? what do i do for my friend? | |
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jf468
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 67 | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/10/2008 5:50:26 PM |
Seriously, how is this even a question? Only an idiot would go out with the latter choice, and she would get what she deserved.
Being an idiot has nothing to do with it. There are PLENTY of women out there with low self esteem who will stay with an abusive man because she feels inside that she doesn't deserve any better. And they will go from one abusive relationship to the next, over and over, in a self destructive cycle. I dated a woman like this for a short time, and she couldn't handle compliments, affection, and being treated well. | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/10/2008 5:58:56 PM | A lot of posters write saying this is a no-brainer. If it were, there would not be so many people stuck in abusive relationships.
Too many women and men suffer from low or non-existent self-esteem as mentioned by others. I was in a relationship years back with High Income Abusive guy. His abuse was emotional and he had severe anger management problems. At first I stuck it out thinking he would change back to the guy I first met. I later realized that he was NOT the guy I first met, and was only on his best behaviour until the relationship progressed over time. The abuse didn't stop and was exacerbated by his drinking.
Part of his thinking was that because he had $$$$$$ he could treat me and others any way he liked. I was quite embarrassed a few times to be out with him. (Guilt by association and the like). I often found myself apologizing for his rancid behaviour.
Not wanting to live like a nervous wreck, I ended it but beat myself up for letting him get away with it for so long. I thank my LUCKY stars I never married him, had children with him, or have other reasons that would keep us linked. He tried to reconcile and would often call up drunk and wail about how sorry he was.
I will NEVER put myself in a similar situation. I blame myself, not him, for letting it go on as long as it did. I am the only one that can help ME. It has been a lesson well learned.
The dear man I am seeing now is the complete polar opposite. He is the one who treats me with kindness, sincerity, love and passion. He does not have the bank account of High Income Abusive Guy, and at the end of the day it is his arms and heart that keep me warmer than anyone's wallet or stock portfolio EVER could or did.
I am certainly not suggesting that all wealthy people are alike, but some use it as a reason to hold themselves above reproach. Yes, there are plenty of poor a**holes as well.
I am TRULY hoping that anyone, male or female, will not put or keep themselves in a similar place. If you are, get help. You're not powerless and you do have a say in your destiny. Abusive people RARELY change and it will often get worse before it ever gets marginally better. 
WD | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/10/2008 6:49:06 PM | I dont think the money is the problem. I have seen a lot of women
in abusive relationships. I think they enjoy it. It is perhaps exciting to
them. Most of them were very attractive so they definately had
other options.
I was with one girl like that at one point and was asked to
hit her... She said she enjoyed the pain with sex.
Not really my thing though. I was thinking of trying to be ok
with it, if it made her happy, but she had so many other issues :( | |
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| Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 3/11/2008 12:32:27 AM | I will always respond to quality of character compared to the quantity of a wallet.
I would never allow someone (whether friend or partner) be a part of my life if they were abusive or treated me disrespectfully.
I realized at a very young age that it's not where or who I fit in with. It's really got to do with who I allow into my life. That may sound 'snobby' but it's really a level of self-respect.
I think that there are some women (and men) who find themselves in abusive relationships for various reasons. Lack of self-respect is only one of them. | |
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D_lily
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Joined: 11/25/2007
Msg: 74 | |
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