| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:53:31 AM | Hey lucidmomemts,
I've been a member here almost a year, just recently found my fish...and he found me! I'd been through the "Hmmm, he sounds interesting, has some common interests, I'll email him, read-deleted, read no reply, read, sorry not interested" phase. Learned not to take it personally, just moved on. Kept emailing prospects, made a few new guy friends in the process (including my fish), and out of all of them, he kept the communication going. Took me completely by surprise!
My point is, don't give up batting in this game. Even great hitters foul off a few good pitches before hitting the home run...or the game-winning hit! | |
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:22:18 AM | I've come to realize that all this is sort of pretend dating. Been doing this off and on from when it first became available. For some of us mostly home bound folks, its the nearest thing to being a real girl as it comes. When I am out in the real world, I find that most men are afraid to even ask me out. They look at me and get some idea that I'm out of their range. What the heck is that about???? I'm shy out and about and they take it as I'm acting above them. I really try to not be this way. If I get brave and make the efforts , they start moving way too fast. I get shy again and back off. So now I find that this pretend dating online thing can fill up a bunch of hours and I don't really need to get out there that much. LOL I can feel pretty inside and still be in my hanging around PJs. The few I do get out to meet from all this move too fast. I am alone and really getting use to it. Its not a bad thing.
Does this icon scare  anyone else ??????? | |
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/13/2007 12:21:52 PM | Different sites, off and on, BUT, I have the distinction of having actually been refunded my entire fee from eharmony because I was simply unmatchable.  I decided to consider that a good thing, because otherwise I'd have to go to therapy.
I once had a horrible Match.com date, and in a fit of angst changed my profile to say a lot of bitter things, i.e., please no drunks, no liver spots, no terminal illnesses, yadayada, and, to my horror, something went amiss and I couldn't get in to change it back to a pleasant profile for about a week. I was mortified. I think Dr. Phil did it to me as punishment for being rude.
POF - joined last spring, but I've had some downtime since with a surgery, so I haven't been too active. I, too, am a forum girl - I like to interact with people and I rarely find any in my livingroom at night. I hope to get more into the forums. I would be happy just to meet some friends, girls or guys, to go out with and meet people in the old-fashioned way! | |
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/13/2007 1:44:16 PM | Ps I forget that I walk with a cane........ Maybe they're just saying that to me to make me feel better about myself. At least online , they don't have to see the cane. | |
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| How long have you been doing online dating?
Posted: 9/13/2007 3:03:06 PM | I've been on here for about 8 months now. One dinner date and one coffee date . Both were nice guys but but we weren't for each other. I have remained friends with the coffee date.
Still looking for Mr. Right. | |
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| How long have you been doing online dating?
Posted: 9/14/2007 4:51:57 PM | | It helped me to read that so many women have gotten the same lack of results I have. Makes me wonder about the ones who say they have to sift through the multitudes of replies to decide who they would like to answer. Maybe I'm not as repulsive as I've been lead to believe! | |
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| How long have you been doing online dating?
Posted: 9/14/2007 9:37:51 PM | I've been doing the online thing for a little over a year. Since my status changed from separated to divorced. (YEEE HAA!) Things have picked up a bit. But over the last year I emailed a lot of people back and forth and met a few face to face. Nothing has really come of it, but I just met a lady that I really liked and she said she wanted to meet up again. But we live kind of far apart so who knows.
In "real life" I've met more ladies, but nothing serious has developed yet. But then again, I am recently divorced and am not really ready to settle down so quickly either.
Ballroom dancing has given me more opportunities than online dating site. But I've made a lot of friends online too and am sticking with POF. The pay sites didn't do very well for me, but POF seems to have more "real" people. Perhaps people here aren't shopping and want their money's worth which is something I saw on pay sites.
At any rate, I like people and really appreciate the posative attitude of most of the people that post here! | |
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/15/2007 12:02:43 AM | lalani
Don't feel too sad about it. I have similar kinds of problems. In the real world men my age seem afraid of me too. The young guys love to talk,socialize and party with me . They tell me that I'm beautiful and a "hot mama". I don't want to be their mama.
The elderly guys (65+) love me too. Think I'm a "sweet babe" But there is too much of a generation gap and I don't have much in common with them. They remind me too much of my father and I'm not looking for a daddy.
The men that I am most attracted to closer to my age (50-62) seem to want something different that what I am. I think someone younger, thinner,better body and maybe less assertive. They seem to be most interested in the girls that are (25-40)
I think that you seem like a nice lady. You are pretty and your shyness I would think would be a "sweet" attraction. The cane shouldn't be a problem. I'd date a man that used a cane. Better to be safe than to fall and hurt yourself. If they are too "fast" for you, that's because they are not considerate enough to "slow" down. You don't need to be with a guy like that anyway.
I agree with you that on line dating sites seem like pretend dating. I wonder if people here are really serious about finding a "life long relationship" or if it's just entertainment and a way to socialize with out being committed to actually go out and do it. I know that I have made first contact with "many" and my mail box is still "empty". I have slowed down some what in "fishing" out of disappointment.
I guess it's better to pretend date than to sit in front of the TV alone and the forums are
interesting,entertaining,educating and fun! So it's not a total waste. We could look at it like this:
Fish the site and see something you might like, then bait your hook and reel it in.
 Fish: 
Make an honest attempt to get to know your fish and see if it's a match. 
One or both might jump back into the pool to look for something different.
Either way, you start fishing again. Maybe all you might seem to do is "catch and release" or be "released"
But, maybe,eventually,some day, with some luck and maybe a small miracle, you just might connect with the last love of your life and have a long term relationship.
 
By the way that green "prick" No need to be afraid of it. Just be cautious
because "they" are out there too, looking for some "action"
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/15/2007 6:27:25 AM | Buttergirl you said it ! We are the same age and I totally get what you are saying.
Don't feel too sad about it. I have similar kinds of problems. In the real world men my age seem afraid of me too. The young guys love to talk,socialize and party with me . They tell me that I'm beautiful and a "hot mama". I don't want to be their mama.
The elderly guys (65+) love me too. Think I'm a "sweet babe" But there is too much of a generation gap and I don't have much in common with them. They remind me too much of my father and I'm not looking for a daddy.
The men that I am most attracted to closer to my age (50-62) seem to want something different that what I am. I think someone younger, thinner,better body and maybe less assertive. They seem to be most interested in the girls that are (25-40)
I've been on here almost exactly to the day one year. Lately I've been staying hidden - turned off IM - don't try and meet anyone. I've met too many that either do internet dating sites as a side line, or as you put it - they really would love to have that younger chick. Even though at 50 + they show the signs of aging as well. Why can't I just find someone who enjoys life, wants to travel - or just sit on the porch and look at the stars. I would love to find that last love.... Perhaps I'm too cautious. Are there more men in Alaska ????
Good ones ? | |
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/16/2007 3:39:14 PM | Answering this question is a double-edged sword in my opinion. If you answer "only a short time" meaning less than a year, you signal to others that in fact you may still be somewhat of an internet-dating virgin. No insult intended, but you learn an awful lot through this media over time... good experiences and some bad ones. You hear about some of the bad ones as topics in POF forums. People need experience (and common sense) to understand the potential problems and dangers associated with internet dating.
The flip side of the coin is that for those of us who "have been out here for awhile" giving our true number of years to prospective partners can cause them to view (judge) us as several things: 1) too picky 2) too independent 3) still carrying baggage 4) having trust issues 5) not really trying anymore 6) socially inept 7) let themselves go 8) mental problems 9) married ... and that's just to name a few!
I'm cautious about letting people know how long I've been kicking around on internet dating sites. It can be read in a variety of ways, and not necessarily as a badge of honour! | |
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/16/2007 5:35:34 PM | So far....a little longer than when I joined this site. I tried Eharmony first!!!!OMG!!!!
You'd think that would have scarred me for life!
But, then I heard about this one and decided to try it out.
Its been educational and informative, especially on these forums.
Romance? Met guys who say they're not looking to get laid but...jeez! Let me breathe before you try to move in! To date...I would say I have met atleast two men I would consider friends...which could develope into something more intense. They know how to give me the room I need...and like me, believe in forming a friendship first.
I've also met several women here who I would LOVE to meet and have dinner with! Good friends here...but alas...no yummy hunney bee for me...yet! | |
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/16/2007 5:58:10 PM |
I'm cautious about letting people know how long I've been kicking around on internet dating sites. It can be read in a variety of ways, and not necessarily as a badge of honour!
...But, but...if you look under your picture in the forums, the date is right there when you joined. Beside, people will form their own opinions anyhow...I've been around a while and everyone know its....geez that doesn't sound right does it?
...maeflowers | |
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/16/2007 6:03:08 PM | Yes, it is........ for this incarnation of my profile Mae. How many others have I had here, and how long have I been at some of those other sites? Care to take a guess?
Yes, people do form their opinions anyway, you're right about that! It's fun going back through the history of a person's posts in the forums to get a sampling of how they think, instead of looking at a number and guessing what their reasons might be.
cheers!
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| How long have you been doing online dating?
Posted: 9/16/2007 10:47:10 PM | Shellsmack said, "Restrictions and expectations are too high."
Hmm... I think thats the bane of online dating isn't it? Unlike the pre internet days where your options were limited to the people who lived near you, now you can basically search hundreds of thousands of people, all around the world and find what you're looking for, at least on a screen. But there's a lot of time invested in real life before you *really* know if what you initially read is true... and then all the details you have to learn that few of us post about ourselves, not because we're dishonest, but because we dont necessarily see them.
After all that, we may or may not have caught a keeper.
To answer the question, I was online the first time for only a few weeks before meeting a woman I went out with for a year. Then another few weeks before meeting another woman that I dated for a year and a half. Now Im inclined to just post in the forums. | |
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| How long have you been doing online dating?
Posted: 9/16/2007 11:44:16 PM | I've been on here hit and miss for about 5 months with trotting around a lot this summer.
Friendly guy is pretty on target with the 'unrealistic expectations' on all dating sites.
What I'm finding is it's hard to find serious and patient people, everyone seems to have an agenda that is either blatantly or rudely displayed or is hidden behind a lot of blather, which may imply depth and seem involved and then you may say one thing that isn't on their program and then you no longer exist after expending a lot of energy into the possibility.
When was the last time you jived 100% with another human being? I have some of my best friends from a million years ago that have major quirks that I don't agree with, but they are forgiven and accepted because when it comes down to the wire they are there for me and me for them. My god there are even brothers and sisters raised by the same parents that can't agree on anything!
It just seems to me that we should allow the same leeway in our internet relationships as our real life ones....what is all this search for perfection? I figure if we are in sync with our basic life values and goals that we should be a bit more flexible and forgiving of each others little idiosyncracies and be given the benefit of the doubt or at least leave things open for discussion. Jeez it would be incredibly boring if we were exactly the same wouldn't it?!
Seems that I'm always getting in trouble for having passionate opinions , I'm Italian, we laugh, we cry, we rant, but we love well too ! | |
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| How long have you been doing online dating?
Posted: 9/17/2007 11:44:09 AM | I've been Fishing for about 5 years, now . . joined _Dozens_ of sites..mostly with the same Name, too . . -It just fits So well- . . !!
M O S T of the sites I've joined have been long-since forgotten . .
{...g i m m e $ $ $ . . g i m m e $ $ $ !!!}
I'm _Still_ dedicated to making O N E lucky woman . . Very happy . .
. . * ..when we finally Meet, that is . . !..* . . | |
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| How long have you been doing online dating?
Posted: 9/17/2007 12:40:33 PM | It just seems to me that we should allow the same leeway in our internet relationships as our real life ones....what is all this search for perfection? I figure if we are in sync with our basic life values and goals that we should be a bit more flexible and forgiving of each others little idiosyncracies and be given the benefit of the doubt or at least leave things open for discussion. Jeez it would be incredibly boring if we were exactly the same wouldn't it?!
I've given a few gents alot of latitude & they were FAR from perfect...
It's one thing to be flexible, it's quite another to be a DOORMAT
I don't think anyone should make excuses for bad behavior, regardless of the gender
I am ready to quit online & just be here for the forums...my halo has become tarnished | |
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| How long have you been doing online dating?
Posted: 9/17/2007 10:20:30 PM | Well I've been on POF since January Me thinks...
This is a great thread...Makes me see I need to have plenty of patience...
Anyway, while I have not had much luck as dating goes, I have a few internet buddies...And you guys up here on the forums are a hoot for the most part, and it's sort of strange when I first came up on line I was not interested in the forums.
Now it's 50/50 ain't life strange? 
I'm with the ones that say if you don't play you can't win!!!!!
Keep that in mind guys...Your only lookin for that one special person....
Don't give up...Don't ever give up!
That's my story and I'm stickin to it,
Rick TensawEagle | |
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/18/2007 2:07:54 AM | freebird22
They still say that there are 5 men to every woman here. But there is only 1 man to every 5 women worth consideration. Do you know what I mean? | |
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| How long have you been doing online dating?
Posted: 9/19/2007 9:27:29 AM | "Shellsmack"
I've used sites like this for 8-9+ years now. although I recenty met someone through other means(and we are in an exclusive relationship now ), I had a lot of success with this and met all prior girlfriends (circa 1998 on the Internet).
what I notice:
people seem to forget that sites like this are ONLY a screening/prospecting tool designed to make contact and which ideally will lead to a face to face meeting. THAT'S IT. it could/should lead to a one on one.
some people have a initial bad experience(maybe someone misrepresented themself online or maybe had a bad face to face meeting) and simply quit because of that. those people should learn p-e-r-s-i-s-t-e-n-c-e
I don't know what the percentages are but evidently lots of people have ill defined criteria for what they want in a person. (they know what they don't want more than they know what they do want). this plays a big part indirectly in your success using sites like this.
compared to the randomness of meeting Mrs/Mr right in a church group, dining club, bar, or other, this is a huge timesaving tool.
Jim | |
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:17:45 PM | 5 years now on different dating sites, one year two months and twenty five days on this one. Got a lot of read but unanswered emails and the token "you're not my type" cliche thrown in from time to time. Got one response but when I asked for a pic I got every conceivable dodge ever thought of in return. Read every reason guys are scum because they only want women younger than them or they're looking for only the pretty ones. I guess guys aren't allowed to have preferences anymore but women are.
Anyway, I'm no longer "looking" or fishing for a date online and I don't expect much in the way of response to my profile either. When I get a chance I post a remark or two on the forums but I suspect that too will end sooner or later. I'm more interested in other things now. | |
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| How long have you been doing on line dating?
Posted: 9/19/2007 10:05:53 PM | butter girl - i get it
They still say that there are 5 men to every woman here. But there is only 1 man to every 5 women worth consideration. Do you know what I mean?
thank you..
and i love the ladies post above, Tess....
Can I steal that thought and add it to my profile ???
The flip side of the coin is that for those of us who "have been out here for awhile" giving our true number of years to prospective partners can cause them to view (judge) us as several things: 1) too picky 2) too independent 3) still carrying baggage 4) having trust issues 5) not really trying anymore 6) socially inept 7) let themselves go 8) mental problems 9) married ... and that's just to name a few! I need therapy....
are the forums theraputic enough for us wiser ladies ?
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. . 1 in 5 . . ? . . I'll take those odds . .