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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/26/2006 4:12:42 PM | | Just what are you considering more successful? Having more $, or the ability to make more $. Could it be having a bigger boat? There's always a bigger one coming into port. How about having a better sex life, being a better cook? May it be typing more words per minute than another? There's always another who is faster and more accurate. I am under the impression that a person's worth is measured by the size of one's heart, not the size of one's wallet. | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/26/2006 6:03:05 PM | It's the simple things that can intimidate a person...
Perhaps I suggest dinner at a restaurant that's "more expensive than average". Maybe the man feels uncomfortable, because it's out of his budget, so I offer to pay. I mean, why shouldn't I be able to eat where I want, if I'm offering to pay for it? It seems like women have no problem falling into this role when the tables are turned. Men seems to be put off by this. They'd rather eat at McDonald's, if that's all their budget can afford, than let me pay for a dinner at a nice restaurant! (I'm overexaggerating of course, but you get the point.)
As for how I measure success...
It's a combination of things. Have goals in mind, and actually be working towards them. Being financially stable, and not pulling your hair out over how you're going to pay the bills this month, or the fact that it will take you 30+ years to pay off your credit card debt. It's not about your "net worth" this very second, but where your future is going to take you.
In my case it can be as simple as comparing how many cars/homes I have to another. These types of things come out in the open rather quickly, and sometimes when you have "MORE" of something than someone else, this either turns into jealousy or intimidation. It also seems as if society still makes it awkward for a man to be with a woman who makes more, has more, or is more successful.
I tried to be open-minded about the men I date. What they do/have wasn't something I paid attention to. I went on 2 dates with a warehouse clerk. He told me he, "Liked have a sugar momma". Are you kidding me? So, you get the point! It seems difficult to find an equal, and I'm not having much luck dating men who aren't on the same career path as me either. | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:12:05 AM | | I think you should be more selective about the men you date Eyceprincess....anyman who uses the phrase "sugarmomma", even jokingly on a first or second date should throw up a red flag for you...:) To answer your initial question...YES....some men will probably be intimidated knowing that you may make more money then they...however.....we all know Men make way more money than women....so the odds of you meeting another man looking for a sugarmomma are limited...:) | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:51:27 AM | Interesting question eyceprincess (On a side note, what did you intend to convey with your pseudonym? Is it coldness? Steeliness and iron will in the business world? Or perhaps it's an inside joke with no obvious implicit meaning?...just curious) I can't say that I have any direct experience with the situation you ask about but, in a general sense, I don't see any reason a woman's success MUST be a source of problems in a relationship, though it certainly could be. As you have already indicated the disparity in incomes, acknowledging that you don't believe that is the only measure of success, does nevertheless create an understandable concern in you that you may be taken advantage of for your money. The "sugar momma" comment you mention might just have been a clumsy attempt at humor or wittiness so that a point of tension, the differences in status between the two of you, could be laughed at instead. Obviously you didn't take it that way and I would guess, as soon the words left his lips, he was a goner. So was it his problem with your success, or was it your heightened sensitivities to being taken advantage of or appreciated for the wrong things that was the problem? In some instances it's probably just miscommunication and we're all susceptible to that.
I guess one thing I could see as a potential problem is time. Running a company must surely take a lot of time. This doesn't make successful relationships impossible but it's a stressor. In the beginning it's natural to take things at whatever pace feels right for both parties but what happens when emotions start to build? When those thoughts start to tickle at the back of your mind that, hmm..what if she's someone I could fall in love with?, what would our life be like together?, if I love this woman I want to be with her and yet she has so little time away from her business...this is when that exhilarating feeling of falling for someone turns to doubt. This doubt probably leads to other lingering doubts being brought to the fore as well. Now this could be dealt with through expert communication and negotiation skills (we all have those right?), or argument and fighting, or it could set off a process of emotional distancing as a defense mechanism. 2 out of three of those lead to heartache...it's tough.
Money is really an interesting thing. I don't have gobs of it myself, I do alright though, but I have family members that have worked very hard to build successful businesses and as a result are quite well off. They have to navigate some of these money issues more so with their siblings than with their mates. I also have a college buddy who has become extremely successful in the business world. The people I knew growing up, my family members, and the guy who used to carouse the local pubs with me, my college buddy, are the same people today that I have always known. The money does buy nice things and it opens doors to life enriching experiences but, I'm glad to have learned, it doesn't change who people are at their core. If they were good people before the success then they will be good people after it as well. The reverse, I'm sure, is also true.
Personally, I find the idea of wealth and power a bit sexy, I'll cop to that. But as a real element in a real relationship it's just like any other personal attribute. It can be a plus or it can be a minus. It really depends on what you make of it when you finally get down to the serious, wonderful work of building a loving relationship.
Good luck out there Princess. | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/27/2006 9:52:46 AM | You should be proud what have accomplished in your life. Man who really cares about you will understand and support you in all your endeavors. The emotional connection along with communication skills are the key to understanding between man and woman, no matter if it is financial or emotional issues.
I think some Man have ntimidation factor regarding the woman’s success. In my opinion it's connected with their inner insecurity, ego, and self-esteem. Woman can help them overcome this barrier, but willingness to ask yourself questions and root this intimidating factor that are spinning in the head of a Man is the job of a Man. | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/27/2006 11:44:09 AM | Eyeceprincess, This thread just keeps coming back, I dated a woman at age 35, She was very powerful in her field, she was by most people's standards rich, successful, and everything that goes along with it. She had a kind heart and because of what she did for a living was able to help me in ways no other person could at the time. Was I ever intimidated by her, never. She made more money than me, she owned a large house with a pool and all the other toys, she owned some very expensive land, she owned a company outside of her field.
She was in love with me and accepted me for who I was.
There is something in your posts that suggests to me that even though you claim not to judge a person on what they do for a living or what they own, you are doing exactly that.
I do not think intimidated is the right word. I don't know what brought the warehose guy to saying what he did, but why did he?
You might be reading to much into it. While discussing with the lady I was dating some business ideas, I joked about, maybe I could just sit by the pool and let her look after it. She laughed and remarked only if you want to end up at the bottom of the pool.
You should be proud of the life you built for yourself, and true we all have to find a equal on whatever level, emotional, interests etc. I think there is a big difference between arrogance and intimidated | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/27/2006 12:23:54 PM | I should have mentioned that there was more to the "sugar momma" comment. Being only our second date, I said, "Well good luck with that." He responded, "What? I only date women who make more than I do." I think what topped it off is when we went to dinner and when the waitress set the bill in front of him, he slid it across the table to me. (Granted, I had no problem paying - but it was for only like $20. Seems like if he was at least going to attempt to make things "equal", this would have been his chance to jump at paying a really inexpensive tab.)
Call me crazy, but I love the thought of equality. I'm just having a hard time finding it. The land where my partner and I are on the same page... We both work hard, and value our little free time - making the very best of it.
In regards to comments being made about how busy I am:
You have to understand I'm only 31. I've been married and divorced. My career lasted, the man didn't. I'm working my butt off now so I don't have to for the next 30 years. I'd rather put in 2-3 years of grueling hours so I can retire before I'm 35. If someone can make it through the next few years with me, they'll have the rest of my life with them to look forward to. | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 7/9/2007 10:13:18 AM | Well I think that depends upon the man. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and one is assuming that all men are alike. My advice would be to be who you are and if they are intimidated - then you really don't want to be with them anyway. Be happy with who you are and what you've accomplished - but no one likes someone who constantly boasts about what they have. Smile, be kind and God that you have been blessed with what you have. You will find someone who loves you for you- I promise!
Meredith | |
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rufree
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Joined: 2/4/2008
Msg: 138 | |
| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:07:30 AM | hell no!!
I fail alot in life,but keep trying and get success where I can,but would be in no way intimidated because a woman earns more than me.I am intimidated by beautiful women because I feel I have nothing to offer and am just a failure in life as I tried to provide for my wife and son but honestly ,well never mind on that ,but no I would be so relieved to find myself in a life where I wasn't worried where my next mortgage payment is coming from.
Maybe you should look for a failing entrepreneuar | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 6/28/2008 6:13:34 AM | i have got out of a relationship because of the woman being more successful than me.
sorry but from a first hand account and by what i have seen with friends it is true,
i think the problem goes back to instincts, back when cavemen had to hunt to support a family and some how that was rooted into our personalities | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:20:50 AM |
if they can't take me for me, then they're not worth my time... i don't care if my man flips burgers, so long as there's love, that's all i need...
But he can't buy you expensive dinners, gifts and pay for vacations if he flips burgers?
I'm not...I'm LIKE successful women:-) But I'd bet my next paycheck that 90% of the guys that I know are intimidated by them. Why? In my opinion, it's the old fashioned view that guys are supposed to be the provider for the family. If the woman is out earning him, he can't claim that role any more.
Actually most surveys indicate that only 10-20% of men wouldn't marry a woman making more money than them. Why would you complain about having money that you didn't earn? And one person can't afford to be the provider in this economy. You need a co-provider. | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 6/28/2008 9:43:10 AM | | There are always these types of questions on POF. Are men initimidated by tall women, muscular women, successful women, assertive women etc? I think some women just want to make excuses about why men aren't interested in them. | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:09:09 AM | How do you know they are intimitated? I don't believe a man will say that, it might be you are full of yourself!
On the other hand, the successful women seek successful, I doubt many successful would like to date less successful men. | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:09:38 AM | I heard on the radio that statistics Canada released a report that 12% of men do not like their woman to earn more than them.
Who knows how true a statistic is but yes, I think it's a bit of a turn off for some men although I think they are less likely to admit it these days.
On the other hand there are plenty of men calculating how they can get a girl to make their truck\mortgage payments. This is sad but true too.
I still find there are men in the middle though. I try to only date those ones. | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:36:42 AM | | Dont worry about men who are intimidated by successful women....they are worms and not worth your trouble!!!! Any man who is a real man, even a pig like me, would be happy to have a woman who is more successful than he is. Tell the worms if successful women scare them, to get off their ass and make something of themselves and then they wont have to worry about it. In the meantime, be glad they have a woman who, at least, isn't a gold digger. Scott | |
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| Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 7/4/2008 11:40:29 PM | Successful women are the most intimidating creatures on earth.
She's the Alpha Female and is prone to dominating lesser men with speed.
She's demanding and direct and only knows one speed...full speed. Love her
carefully because getting sloppy and you will find yourself at the edge of her
bed in fetal position sucking your thumb.
Yeah ...I like'em.
O | |
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