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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/17/2007 3:51:53 PM | "The Box of Chocolates"
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a white bag on the seat next to Sally.
"What in bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the white bag and said, "It's a box of chocolates. I got it for my husband."
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two.
Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said: "Good trade." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:41:07 PM | A Newfie, a little man, was sitting at a bar in Toronto when this huge, burly American guy walks in. As he passes the Newfie, he hits him on the neck knocking him to the floor. The big, burly Yank says, "That's a karate chop from Korea." Well, the little Newfie gets back on his barstool and resumes drinking his beer.
The burly American then gets up to go to the bathroom and, as he walks by the Newfie, he hits him on the other side of the neck and knocks him to the floor. That's a judo chop from Japan", he says.
The little Newfie decides he's had enough and leaves. A half hour later he comes back and sees the burly American sitting at the bar. He walks up behind him and whacks him on the head, knocking him out. The Newfie says to the bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him that was a ****in' hockey stick from Canadian Tire." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/18/2007 3:44:42 PM | Real Estate phrases and what they REALLY mean:
* Charming:
Tiny. Snow White might fit but five of the dwarfs would have
To find their own place.
* Much potential:
Grim. Steer clear unless you have a lot of money and
Believe your blind dates really did have nice personalities.
* Unique city home:
Used to be a warehouse.
*High-Tech/Contempo rary:
Lots of steel shelving with little holes -- the
Kind your dad used to store his tools in the basement.
*Daring designs:
Still a warehouse.
* Completely updated:
Avocado dishwasher harvest-gold carpeting. Or
Vice-versa.
* You'll love it:
No, you won't.
* Sophisticated:
Black walls and no windows.
* One-of-a-kind:
Ugly as sin.
* Brilliant concept:
Do you really need a two-story live oak in your
Thirty-foot sky dome?
* Upper bracket:
If you have to ask....
* Must see to believe:
An absolutely accurate statement.
* Reduced to move:
Been on the market for years.
* Close to school:
Backs up on basketball court.
* Extra storage:
Four hooks.
* Has real potential:
Enter at your own risk. | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/18/2007 4:03:25 PM | An Amish man answered a knock on his door one morning. An
electric company worker handed him a piece of paper stating that the
electric company would like to run a power line through his cow pasture.
The Amish man said, "No, no thee can not."
"Legally, that paper says we can." replied the gruff worker. As he
turned and left returning to his co-workers in the field, the Amish man
went to his barn and turned his bull into the pasture.
As the bull rumbled toward the workers in the field, the Amish
farmer hollered, "Show him thy friggin' paper!" | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/20/2007 8:04:12 AM | A police officer was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs in his crotch.
Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown up enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfortable.
Taped firmly across his pubic hair were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the kind that doesn't come off easily. Written in large black letters was the sentence.
"Get well quick..... from the nurse you ticketed last week." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/20/2007 8:06:01 AM | | There is no arguing with cowboy logic. The Sierra Club and the US Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Wyoming ranchers for controlling the coyote population. It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution. What they proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males castrated and let loose again and the population would be controlled. This was ACTUALLY proposed to the Wyoming Wool and Sheep Grower's Association by the Sierra Club and the USFS. All of the ranchers thought about this amazing idea for a couple of minutes. Finally, an old boy in the in the back stood up, tipped his hat back and said, "Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those coyotes ain't screwin' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/20/2007 8:07:20 AM | Daniel arrives home from work at 5pm and as soon as he steps through his front door, his wife Judith starts having a go at him. “Why don’t you ever wipe your feet before walking into the house? ….. I thought you said you were coming home at lunch time today …… Where’s the shopping I asked you to get on the way home? ….. You left the toilet seat up again this morning. …. Don’t you ever think of buying me flowers, like you used to do? …."
This incessant criticism, nagging and complaining goes on for nearly 2 hours - nothing Daniel says or does seems to be right by her. By 7pm, Daniel has had enough. But he knows better than to have a go at Judith so he tries a more tactical approach.
"Darling," he says, "Please - let’s start again. I’ll go back outside and shut the door. Then I’ll open the door and come in. We can then pretend I’ve just come home. What do you think?"
"OK," she replies.
So Daniel puts on his coat, goes outside, shuts the door, waits a minute, opens the door, and steps in with a smile on his face. He immediately announces, in a musical tone, "Oh darling, I’m home.”
"And just where have you been?" says Judith, "It's past seven o'clock!" | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/20/2007 11:42:37 AM | two babies in seperate cribs got to talking, and one says to the other "are you a girl or a boy?"
the other says "i don't know?" well says the first one "i want to know?"
the second one promptly crawls out of its crib and gets into the other.
"i'll find out what we are?" and with that gets under the blanket. the baby comes out after a few seconds and says "well your a girl and i'm a boy"
the second baby says "how do you know?"
well he says "you've got a pink nappy on and i've got a blue one on" | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/20/2007 2:18:50 PM | ITALIAN BOY CONFESSION
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.
The priest ask, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?
Yes, Father it is.
And who was the woman you were with?
I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation.
Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later,
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?
I cannot say.
Was it Teresa Volpe?
I'll never tell.
Was it Nina Capeli?
I'm sorry but I cannot name her.
Was it Cathy Piriano?
My lips are sealed.
Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?
Please, Father, I cannot tell you.
The priest sighs in frustration. You're very tight lipped,
Johnny Parisi and I admire that.
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot attend church services for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.
Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers,
What'd you get?
Four months vacation and five good leads.... | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/20/2007 2:20:33 PM | In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic
name.
For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of
Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called
Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced
that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also
considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of
course, Ibepokin.
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in
liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage
suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to
literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call
this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of
"cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink".
Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast
implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means
that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky
boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do
with them. | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/20/2007 2:24:25 PM | TOP FOUR ADULT JOKES OF 2006!!
Number 4
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes
into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and
says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive
me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
Number 3
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his
wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over
and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
Number 2
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of
years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a
terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his
penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex
therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He
vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once
that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do
you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis
into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't!" she exclaimed.
"Yes, I did." he replied.
"My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she got fired too."
Number 1
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast
table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were
sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a
jaybird fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are
as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps "One's in your coffee and the
other is in your oatmeal." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/20/2007 6:41:51 PM | The rancher and the half wit:
A man owned a small ranch in Texas. The Wage & Hour Dept. claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well," replied the rancher, "there's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board.
The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 per week plus free room and board.
Then there's the half-wit who works here about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes $10 per week, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night."
"That's the guy I want to talk to -- the half-wit," says the agent.
"That would be me," replied the rancher. | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/21/2007 6:45:24 PM | Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead****oach
on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised
a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't
bother you now."
"The dead roach doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers and
the funeral party." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/21/2007 8:38:18 PM | A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the
street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.
"Nice bike," the cop said. "Did Santa bring it to you?"
"Yes Sir"the little girl said, "he sure did!"
The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.
The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it." !!!
The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?
Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered "Yes, he sure did" !!!
The little girl looked up at the cop and said,
"Next year tell Santa the di ck goes underneath the horse, not on top." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:05:45 AM | Something that make you go Hmmm....
When fish jump in the air, do they take a deep breath and
close their eyes?  | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:13:52 AM | A man enters his favorite ritzy restaurant and while sitting at
his regular table, he notices a gorgeous woman sitting all alone at a
nearby table. He calls the waiter over and asks for their most expensive
bottle of Merlot to be sent over to her, knowing that if she accepts
it, she is his.
The waiter gets the bottle and quickly brings it over to the woman,
saying this is from the gentleman over there. She looks at the wine
and sends a note over to the man.
Her note reads: For me to accept this bottle, you need to have a BMW
in your garage, a million dollars in the bank, and seven inches in your pants."
The man after reading her note, chuckles and sends a note of his own
back to her.
His note reads: "Just so you know, I happen to have a Ferrari Testarosa, a BMW 850, and a Volvo in my garage. I have over twenty-five million dollars in the bank. But, not even for a woman as beautiful as you, would I cut three inches off.
JUST SEND THE DAMN BOTTLE BACK." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/22/2007 10:17:19 AM | Bit-chy Bumper Stickers
Actual bumper stickers found on cars and trucks!
Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.
If You Drink, Don't Park; Accidents Cause People.
Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
Thank You For Pot Smoking.
To All You Virgins, Thanks For Nothing.
If At First You Don't Succeed ... Blame Someone Else ... And Seek Counseling.
Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.
It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.
The Earth Is Full --- Go Home.
I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha.
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me.
So Many Pedestrians --- So Little Time.
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name.
Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
Illiterate? Write For Help.
Honk If Anything Falls Off.
Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit.
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Hand Basket?
It's Been Lovely, But I Have To Scream Now.
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
If You Can Read This, The Bit-ch Fell Off.
[Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest or t-shirt].
If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong.
Fight Crime --- Shoot Back!
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over.
[Seen upside Down, On A Jeep]
Remember Folks --- Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
Guys --- No Shirt, No Service; Gals --- No Shirt, No Charge.
[Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]
If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba the Hut?
Necrophillia --- That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
Ax Me 'bout Ebonics.
Body By Nautilus --- Brain By Mattel.
Boldly Going Nowhere.
Cat --- The Other White Meat.
Caution --- Driver Legally Blonde!
Don't Be Sexist --- Broads Hate That.
Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?
If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch.
Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It! | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 10:01:09 AM | The Marine Sergeant
Dan Rather, Peter Jennings, Cokie Roberts, and a tough old US. Marine Sergeant were all captured by terrorists in Iraq.
The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.
Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili." The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die content."
Peter Jennings said, "I am Canadian, so I'd like to hear the song "O Canada" one last time."The leader nodded to a terrorist who had studied the Western world and knew the music. He returned with some rag-tag musicians and played the anthem. Jennings sighed and declared he could
now die peacefully.
Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.
Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end."
The leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Roberts dictated some comments She then said, "Now I can die happy."
The leader turned and said, "And now, Mr. U.S. Marine, what is your final wish?"
"Kick me in the ass," said the Marine.
"What?" asked the leader? "Will you mock us in your last hour?"
"No, I'm not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass," insisted the Marine. So the leader shoved him into the open, and kicked him in the ass.
The Marine went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9 mm pistol from inside his cammies, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine and sprayed the Iraqis with gunfire. In a flash, all the Iraqis were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the Marine was untying Rather, Jennings, and Roberts, they asked him,
"Why didn't you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?"
"What," replied the Marine, "and have you three ***holes report that I was the aggressor?"
IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THANK A TEACHER...IF YOU ARE READING THIS IN ENGLISH, THANK A VETERAN.
To any and all who are presently serving in our armed forces, Thank You. | |
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bobby7
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Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 894 | |
| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/23/2007 6:21:57 PM | "oldfarmboy on 1/23/2007 10:01:09 AM
Subject: Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!"
"IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THANK A TEACHER...IF YOU ARE READING THIS IN ENGLISH, THANK A VETERAN."
I didn't realize the the Bushites had captured yet another objective!!
The JOKE thread! :-((
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/24/2007 8:06:32 AM | 5%
One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally
behavior that was going on. So He called one of His angels to go to
earth for a time.
When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are
misbehaving and only 5% are not."
God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down another
angel to get a second opinion."
So God called another angel and sent him to earth for a time, too. When
the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it's true. The earth
is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good."
God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5 % who were good,
because He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to
help them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?
No?
Okay, just checking with you. I didn't get one either | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/30/2007 4:30:39 PM | George and his dad were out fishing one day when George pulled out a
cigar. Finding he had no matches he asked his dad for a light.
"Sure," said his dad. "I think I have a lighter." Then, reaching into
his tackle box he pulled out a Bic lighter 10-inches long.
"Jimminy Cricket!" exclaimed George, taking the huge Big lighter in his
hands. "Where did you get that monster?" he asked.
"Well," replied his dad, "I got it from my Genie."
"You have a Genie in your tackel box?" asked George.
"Yep, it's right here in my tackle box," said his dad.
"Could I see him?" asked George.
So his dad opened his tackle box and, sure enough, out pops the Genie.
Addressing the Genie, George says, "I'm the son of your master, will you
grant me one wish?"
"Yes, I will," says the Genie.
So George asks for a million bucks.
The Genie disappears back into the tackle box leaving George sitting
there, waiting for his million bucks.
Shortly, the sky darkens and is filled with the sound of a million ducks
flying overhead.
Over the roar of the million ducks George yells to his dad, "Jumpin'
Jimminy! I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"
"I forgot to tell you that the Genie is hard of hearing," yells back
George's dad. "You don't think I really asked for a 10-inch Bic, do you?
 ... Now what does a man want with a 10" ... WHAT???? | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/31/2007 10:48:53 AM | One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to
Mike behind him, My elbow hurts like hell. I guess
I'd better see a doctor.
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,"
Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just
give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you
what's wrong and what to do about it.
It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot
cheaper than a doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and
takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up
and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample
into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water
and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two
weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new
technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer
could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog,
urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm
sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the
results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his
concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
(Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal
shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into
rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow
will never get better!
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/31/2007 10:52:30 AM | A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and gasping for breath.
"What's happening?" she asks. "I'm having a heart attack," her husband replies. The blonde rushes downstairs, grabs the phone, and as she's dialing, her 4-year-old son runs up and says:
"Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet and she has no clothes on!"
The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom and opens the closet door.
Sure enough, there is her sister, naked.
"You rotten ****," she screams, "my husband's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids! | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/31/2007 11:05:37 AM | A blind man walked into a bank with his seeing-eye dog that guided him everywhere. He walked into the center of the bank floor, took the dog by the chain, and started swinging him around his head.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and stared. The other customers were taken aback and some were very upset at the way the animal was being treated. One of the tellers ran up to the blind man and asked, "Sir, what are you doing!?!"
The man turned toward the teller and said, "Oh, nothing - just looking around." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 1/31/2007 11:15:18 AM | I checked into a hotel on a business trip and was a
bit lonely so I thought I'd get me one of those girls you
see advertised in phone booths when your calling for a
cab.
I grabbed a card on my way in. It was an ad for a girl calling
herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long
wavy hair, long graceful legs all the way up. You know the kind.
So I'm in my room and figure, what the heck, I'll give her a call.
"Hello?" the woman says. Wow! she sounded sexy.
"Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my
room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you.
I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard,
I want it hot, and I want it now. I'm talking kinky the whole night
long. You name it, we'll do it. Bring implements, toys, everything
you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night;
Tie me up, wear a strap on, cover me in chocolate syrup and
whip cream, anything you want baby.
Now, how does that sound?"
She says, "That sounds fantastic, but for an outside line
you need to press 9." | |
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