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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/20/2006 5:01:38 PM | A woman awakes during the night, and her husband isn’t
in bed with her.
She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him
sitting at the kitchen table with a
cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in
deep thought, just staring at the wall.
She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes
a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she asks. "Why are you down
here at this time of night?"
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember
20 years ago when we were dating,
and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes, I do," she replies.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the
back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember," says the wife, lowering herself
into a chair beside him.
The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved
the shotgun in my face and said,
'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to
jail for 20 years?’"
"I remember that, too," she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I
would have gotten out today." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/20/2006 5:03:21 PM | THREE WOMEN - ONE GERMAN, ONE JAPANESE AND A NEWFY
WERE SITTING NAKED IN A JACUZZI.
SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE GERMAN PRESSED
HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED
AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. "THAT WAS MY PAGER," SHE SAID."I
HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM."
A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE JAPANESE WOMAN
LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE
EXPLAINED, "THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A
MICROCHIP IN MY HAND."
THE NEWFY WOMAN FELT DECIDEDLY LOW TECH. NOT TO BE
OUTDONE; SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS
IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE JACUZZI AND WENT TO
THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET
PAPER HANGING FROM HER BEHIND. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR
EYEBROWS AND STARE AT HER. THE NEWFY WOMAN FINALLY
SAID," WILL YOU LOOK AT DAT. I'M GETTIN' A FAX."
______________________________________________ | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/20/2006 8:38:06 PM | Little Red Riding Hood was getting ready to go and visit her grandmother in the forest and her mother said:
"You'd better not go out tonight Little Red Riding Hood because the big bad wolf's out and you know what he'll do.
He'll lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and screw your little red socks off."
But Little Red Riding Hood pulled out a shotgun and said: Don't worry Mum, I've got it covered."
So she was walking through the forest when she came across the three little pigs. One of them ran out of the brick house and said, "You shouldn't be out tonight Little Red Riding Hood! The big bad wolf's out and you know what
he'll do if he catches you. He'll lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and screw your little red socks off."
So she pulled out the shotgun and said: "Don't worry boys. Got it covered!"
As she continued through the forest she came across the Big Bad Wolf and he said: "You shouldn't have come out tonight Little Red Riding Hood because you know what I'm going to do. I'm going to lift up your little red dress, pull down your little red panties and screw your little red socks off."
So she lifted up her little red dress, pulled down her little red panties, lay down on her back with her legs apart, pointed the shotgun at him and said "NO! You're going to eat me like the ****ing book says." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/22/2006 12:01:39 PM | whooooaaaa! eat a beaver, save a tree (for her to climb onto later... ) !!
ha ha ha! very baaa-aa-aa-dddd! | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/22/2006 1:27:08 PM | A little boy blows up his balloon and starts flicking
it all around the house with his finger. His mother
tells him to stop it as he's liable to break
something.
The boy continues. "Johnny!" mom screams. "Knock it
off. You're going to break something." He stops and
eventually mom leaves for a short trip to the store.
Johnny starts up with the balloon again. He gives it
one last flick and it lands in the toilet.
Mom comes in and while putting away the groceries gets
the urge. A diarrhea run. She can hardly make it to
the toilet in time and SPLASH, out it comes.
When she's finished she looks down and can't believe
what she's seeing. Diarrhea everywhere! She's not sure
what this big brown thing is in the toilet! She calls
her doctor.
The doctor is baffled as she describes the situation,
but he assures her he'll be over shortly to examine
everything.
When he arrives she leads him to the bathroom and he
gets down on his knees and takes a long, hard look at
the thing. Finally, he takes out his pen and sort of
touches it to see what it might be and POP! The
balloon explodes and diarrhea is everywhere. On him,
the walls, etc. "Doctor! Doctor! Are you alright?" she
asks.
He says, "I've been in this business for over 30
years, and this is the first time I've ever seen a
fart!" | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/23/2006 8:25:45 AM | A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to
her husband, "I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly - pay me a compliment".
The husband replies, "your eyesight's 'fvckin' perfect".
and thats why HE'S single too !!
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/23/2006 10:24:21 AM | After a long late night at the bar a man staggers home to sleep it off. When he gets home he very carefully tries to be as quite as possible and not wake his wife or kids. He manages to sneak upstairs and into bed without incident. He very quickly falls asleep.
Sometime after he awakens with a start and notices that an angel is standing at the foot of his bed. He asks the angel, " have I died, is that why your here?"
The angle replies " yes, your dead and I have come to collect your soul."
The man is quite upset and pleads with the angel " please, please I dont want to die now, I know I am not a very good husband or father but I love my family very much, is there any way I can go back. I'll change my life I swear."
The angel then relpies " well, you cannot go back as the same person, or a person at all, but I can send you back as a chicken in the neighbors farm. This way you can at least see your kids grow up. I am sorry this is the best I can do"
The man agrees to this and POOF, he is a chicken. He starts to cluck around, pecking for insects largley mimicking the other chickens and begins to think to himself that this is not so bad. He then begins to feel this uncomfortable pressure in his belly, really uncomfortable. He asks a nearby chicken what this could be. The chicken asks him " have you never laid an egg before? Just push and you'll soon feel a lot better." To his astonishment after a couple of seconds of pushing and grunting he lays his egg and feels alot better, but feels that perhaps he has to lay a second egg, so he begins to push and grunt again, only this time he feels something shaking him.
He wakes suddenly with his wife shaking him and yelling " WAKE UP YOU F#@*%ING DRUNK, YOUR SHITTING THE BED." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/24/2006 9:19:03 AM | Hahahah^^^^.
What's the best thing about a blow job from an Ethiopian woman?
You know she'll swallow.
What's the definition of a male chauvinist pig?
A guy who hates every bone in a woman's body except his own.
What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A mosquito quits sucking when you smack it.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it!
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use a lubricant.
What is the difference between Olympic swimmers, and Olympic divers?
Mark Spitz and Greg Swallows.
What is the first symptom of aids?
A heavy pounding in the Ass.
Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?
It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.
Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.
Why do men pay more than women for car insurance?
Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
Whats the difference between Mayonnaise and Sperm?
Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girls throat at thirty
miles an hour.
Why were men invented?
Cause vibrators can't take out the garbage.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
Why do brides smile as they walk down the aisle?
Because they know they've given their last blowjob.
What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead in bed?
A blonde lets you leave the bed when you are satisfied-a
redhead lets you leave the bed when SHE is satisfied. | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/24/2006 1:24:26 PM | what's the last sound a pubic hair makes before it hits the floor?
"ppttooey!" | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/24/2006 8:44:57 PM | When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.  | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/24/2006 10:48:05 PM | Why did God create women with legs?
So they wouldn't leave "snail trails" on the linoleum. | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/25/2006 6:29:03 PM | One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, "Do you know what it is?"
"No, I don't," said the little boy.
"OK, I'll give you a clue. It's the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work."
Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, "Spit it out! It's a piece of ass!" | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/25/2006 7:05:26 PM | A guy walks into the local welfare office for his monthly check.
He marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi. You know, I just
HATE
coming in here drawing welfare month after month. I'd really much
rather have a job.
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent.
We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a
chauffeur-
bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive
around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected
to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom
apartment
above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year."
The guy says, "You're bullshitting me!"
The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/25/2006 7:08:49 PM | Dirty Mind Test
Instructions: For each answer, you will have three clues. Try
to determine what the object or thing is that is being
described. For every correct answer, give yourself two points,
for every incorrect answer deduct two points. Answer at bottom
of page. If you score over 21 points, you are classed as
having a great sex experience. If you score between 14 points
and 21 points, you are in need of more love. If you score less
than 14 points and are male...send address and photos! You may
begin... now!
CLUES
1. I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes. When I'm not
well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
2. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off.
People sometimes lick my nuts.
3. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me.
I'm called a big swinger.
4. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't maiden for
long. A big hard thing ripped me open.
5. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me
up. I get wet before you do.
6. When I go in, I can produce pain. I cause you to spit, and
ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole.
7. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first.
8. All day long, it's in and out. I discharge loads from my
shaft. Both men and women go down on me.
9. I go in hard. I come out soft. You like to blow me.
10. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your
box. When I come, it's news.
11. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use
your fingers to get me off.
12. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver.
13. My business is done in briefs. I am a cunning linguist.
I plead and plead for it.
ANSWERS
1. Nose
2. Peanut Butter
3. A Crane
4. The Titanic
5. A Tent
6. A Dentist
7. A Wedding Ring
8. An Elevator
9. Chewing Gum
10. News Paper Boy
11. A Glove
12. An Arrow
13. An Attorney | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/26/2006 6:23:34 PM | Here's one for You Ladies......
Never Argue with a Woman
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?"). "You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her. "I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/26/2006 6:26:32 PM | And now one for the Guys....
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman
may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description
of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors
and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a Particular floor,
or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit
the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs.
The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are
extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs,
love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to
the fifth floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are
drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/27/2006 12:30:48 AM | SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag
Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex! ?
Because they have cotton balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell "BINGO!"
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time...A southern fairytale begins Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh-t..."
Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides! | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/27/2006 1:17:36 AM | For those of us who tend to over-think a situation......
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says,
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabe, you dumber than buffalo doo doo! Somebody stole tent." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/27/2006 1:27:00 AM | A newfie, a Scotsman, and an Englishman are sitting in a bar in Toronto. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, the food exceptional. ( Where is this place?)
"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home.
In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he will buy the fifth drink for you.
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Newfie. "Back home in Sin Jahn's there's the Codfish Bar. The moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then
another, all the drinks you like, actually.
Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman immediately shout down the Newfie's claims, but he swears every word is true. "Well," said the Englishman, still suspicious, "Did
this actually happen to you?"
"Not me meself, personally, no," admitted the Newf. "But it did happen to me sister quite a few times." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/28/2006 11:48:08 PM | WHEN GIRLS DRINK TOO MUCH............
1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.
2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR
BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.
3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND
HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.
4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A
HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO
5.WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM
SOOOOO MUCH.
6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW
SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"
7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO
US.
8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.
9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US
JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.
10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE
KITCHENFLOOR (or the mop?)
11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.
12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT
WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT. | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/29/2006 10:38:36 AM | A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her
daughter walks in. "Mother where do babies come from?"
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and
Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their
bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex."
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, "That means the
daddy puts his penis in the mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby,
honey."
The child seems to comprehend. "Oh, I see, but the other night when I
came into your room you had daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you
get when you do that?"
"Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry." | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/29/2006 1:24:09 PM | A young couple decided to wed. As the big day approached, they
grew apprehensive. Each had an embarrassing problem they had
never before shared with anyone, not even each other.
The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father
for advice.
"Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my
marriage. I love my fiancée, very much, but you know, I have
extremely smelly feet, and I'm afraid that my future wife will be
revolted by them."
"No problem," said dad, "all you have to do is wash your feet as
often as possible, and always wear socks, even to bed."
Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.
The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem
up her mom.
"Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is
truly awful."
"Honey," her mother consoled, "everyone has bad breath in the
morning."
"No, you don't understand. My morning breath is so disgustingly
bad, I'm afraid that my new husband will not want to sleep in the
same room with me."
Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight
out of bed, and head for the bathroom and brush your teeth. The
key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth. Not a
word," her mother affirmed.
Well, she thought it was certainly worth a try.
The loving couple were finally married in a beautiful ceremony.
Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his
perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed
quite well. That is, until about six months later.
Shortly before dawn, the husband wakes with a start to find that
one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he
frantically searches the bed. This, of course, woke his bride
and without thinking, she immediately turns to face him and asks,
"What on earth are you doing?"
"Oh, no!" he gasped in shock, "You've eaten one of my socks!" | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/30/2006 5:46:00 AM | Well, I've been hearing lots of blonde jokes lately...I think I even posted a few myself. Miss Clairol says to change it up a bit...so here's just a couple of brunette jokes.
1.What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch?
A brunette who's told too many blonde jokes.
2.What do you call going on a blind date with a brunette?
Brown-bagging it.
3.What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?
No one else wants it.
4.What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
Invisible.
5.What's a brunette's mating call?
" Has the blonde left yet? " | |
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| Jokes, Jokes, Jokes!!!!!!
Posted: 5/30/2006 8:54:03 PM | The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in
the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping
for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I starting jumping up and
down along with her.
She said, "I have some really great news!" I said, "Great. Tell me
why you're so happy." She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from
all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant! I
knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's
great! I couldn't be happier for you!" Then she said, "There's
more." I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?" She said, "Well, we are
not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!" Amazed at
how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her
how she knew. She said....
(You're going to love this!)
"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually
had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out
positive!"
Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
Because they're simple, easy and they taste good. | |
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