Xavi
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Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 76 | |
| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/5/2006 9:55:54 PM |
So for all you women who wouldn't mind being woken up in the middle of the night being poked (as I call it), why haven't I managed to meet any of you so far in my life?
Could be that most guys use exactly the method hinted at by your name. I have no objection to a guy waking me up with voice, kisses or touch, but when he snuggles up behind me and skewers me to wake me, it sort of turns me off the whole thing. | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/5/2006 11:40:17 PM | probably the same reason why married women masterbate...
it's a basic,normal,human instinct & shouldn't be taken as a bad thing
or an insult to the partner...if it bothers you though,talk to him about
it...or next time...ask if he wants you to jump in...or just do it!... 
(though I believe we all need our own alone time once in awhle) | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 12:30:16 AM | I'm with Brainiac and Sanschele on this ... the man is mentally cheating on his partner. Infidelity is not limited alone to the actual "act" ... it's having "exclusive" relationships with whomever or whatever. I left a man who had "infidelity" issues in the same way in that he had exclusive "friendships" with other women.
He was not having sex with them, but socializing with them on the computer and telephone and just plain leaving me out of the picture even though I knew the women. Then when it was time to socialize with me, he was silent to the world. Like it or not, that's infidelity and that does not belong within the marital or committed relationship.
I'll probably get bashed for this, but pretty much all aspects of our relationship intercourse with our physical relationship with our partner. A good friend of mine put it this way. Sex does not start when you go to bed ... it starts when you get up in the morning. All day you are having various different interactions with your partner that eventually lead to the actual act.
If your partner has a "sexual fettish" that he is not incorporating into your sexual relationship and / or is not asking you to help him satisfy, then there's a problem. There is a further problem if he has asked you to participate and you have refused. If that happens, then you get to take possession of that "problem". You can either choose to accept that he needs that and you cannot accomodate him and don't let it bother you ... OR
.... or you can let it bother you. If that happens, it will eat away at your personal relationship with him and eventually there may come a time when it makes you so unhappy that you will end up having to separate yourself from the situation ... and we all know what that means.
Good luck ... cotter | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 12:39:15 AM | We need alone time.
And fantasy time.
I jack off regardless of whether I'm in a sexual relationship or not. | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 12:55:42 AM | I don't think masturbating to computer porn qualifies for "alone" time.
"Fantasy" time can be a good time with your partner.
Just "jacking off" is just that ... jacking off.
This man was apparently not "just jacking off" and his "fantasy" was not in his head, it was no fantasy ... it was real porn on a computer and I really don't see how that qualifies for "alone" time.
On the other hand ... everyone has their own ideas about how they define things like that.
I think this lady just has to decide if being tolerant of her husband masturbating in front of computer porn is within her comfort zone. If it is ... no problem!
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 10:04:45 AM |
I don't think masturbating to computer porn qualifies for "alone" time.
"Fantasy" time can be a good time with your partner.
Just "jacking off" is just that ... jacking off.
This man was apparently not "just jacking off" and his "fantasy" was not in his head, it was no fantasy ... it was real porn on a computer and I really don't see how that qualifies for "alone" time.
On the other hand ... everyone has their own ideas about how they define things like that.
I think this lady just has to decide if being tolerant of her husband masturbating in front of computer porn is within her comfort zone. If it is ... no problem!
Women need to understand that men's sexual consciousness does not entirely revolve around their partner.
Perhaps you'll never understand, being female and all. | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 10:11:23 AM | Has anybody asked.....
How much did this guy spank his monkey BEFORE you married him? Did he suddenly discover masturbation after he married you? Doubtful.
How about YOU? Do you ever masturbate? Do you ever get the urge in the middle of the day and go handle your business?
Masturbation is not dirty, it is not abnormal, and it is not harmful to your relationship.
If yu weren't enough woman to satisfy his needs, he would be out looking for sex with other women, not his right hand.
(Apologies to left handed jackers.....)
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 10:19:19 AM | maybe the OP has a secret fantasy of waking up with her partner having sex with her sleeping? I'm sure we've all read it on the 'sex and dating' forums multiple times...i've actually heard it from the spoken word. heck, i've heard of someone waking up coming.
otherwise, why post this thread? I mean, think about it, folks. How difficult is it to sit away from the forums and think, hmmmm...i wonder why my hubby masturbates when i'm asleep? in a positive light and not just a negative one. | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 10:57:43 AM | Because it feels good. My former spouse ( ex, has negative conotations to me) used to like to watch me matURbate, it really turned her on. Oh, and she is the one that wanted to get the xxx movies from Adam and Eve. So, niether masturbation or watching porn and masturbating has to spell trouble in a relationship. However, if you are upset about finding your husband doing that without you, it may indicate a need to communicate with him. And I don't mean asking him, "Why in the H*LL would you..... I mean talk, ask and learn. If after that you still can't or won't understand or accept then maybe it's time to find a man who shares you view and will never masturbate. Ahhh
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie but men can do it bt themselves. (this isn't a banana) | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 11:01:09 AM |
What is a Yankee?
In Ohio it's a baseball player from New York, plaing on that **stard team that tries to buy a pennant every year and chokes in the playoffs. | |
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| Dr TaT says
Posted: 5/6/2006 12:26:02 PM | Well lets look at what we have learned in all the postings.......80% of the people in this forum
fondle there genitals, And the other 20% are some how flustrated and confused about this...Hummmmmm. Let me retire to the bathroom for a brief moment and Ill have an answer that will settle this uneasyness about genitle fondling. Oh honey! have you seen my latest addition of Hustler? ......I dont look at the pictures......thoes women are ugly!...BRB
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Raven1
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Joined: 9/14/2004
Msg: 87 | |
| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 1:09:46 PM |
felt what was sacred is lost in what he has done. Was I not good enough? Obviously you felt offended that your husband took to the visual pleasures of an exhibitionist (porn) and not you..
You see the problem with people in general is that usually people have a one track mind. What I mean by this is one way of thinking and that's it. One way of perceiving things and never alternate views.
Don't get me wrong. Yes, you can look at it in the way you just mentioned and you COULD BE right. Nobody knows for sure except for her husband.
HOWEVER, it could also be something else. a type of voyeuristic characteristic within him. Mabye it was done with the thrill of the possibility of you waking up and catching the naughty
boy!
You never know. People have all kinds of quirks and kinly desires or thoughs going on in their head.
Mabye the whole thought of him being lewd right in front of you while you were sleeping was something he got turned on by.
OP You need to talk to you husband and see what it is.
Its not only the fact that he masturbated to porn but the medium he used
This makes no sense. Porn is porn. What difference does it make in the way it is broadcast (the medium in which is it utilized)?
Adult magazines, Video, Adult (Porn) Websites
Porn is porn.
So if the pleasures of porn via the net are as simple as some of the responses here, what is classified as infidelity and would the definition be applied here to the OP’s thread
Oh come on, GET REAL!
Porn? INFIDELITY? (incl. Masturbation as infidelity)
I'm just going to assume that was meant as a joke because it's too rediculous to be taken seriously!
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Raven1
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Joined: 9/14/2004
Msg: 88 | |
| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 1:37:21 PM |
the man is mentally cheating on his partner. Infidelity is not limited alone to the actual "act" ...
Ok now you're taking things a little too far!
Seriously, they say men complicate things?
Umm......NO!
People cannot necessisarily have TOTAL control of their thoughts as they can their actions.
Ex. One goes to bed and has a dream and in that dream they are engaged in sexual intercourse or activities with someone other than their partner.
Are you suggesting they were unfaithful and should be held liable for that dream?
If a person has thoughts of rape or murder does that make them a rapist or murderer if they haven't engaged in such act?
And can they be held liable and prosecuted by the law for such thoughts?
NO!
It's often said (and heard) that women sometimes fantasize about someone other than their partner when having sex with them. That doesn't mean she just cheated with Johnny Depp while having sex with her husband. I mean come on, where do you draw the line between reality and fiction? It's human nature to sometimes have frivolous/inappropriate thoughts/desires. That doesn't mean such desires are going to be fullfilled.
quote] Sex does not start when you go to bed ... it starts when you get up in the morning. All day you are having various different interactions with your partner that eventually lead to the actual act.
Well, metaphorically you may be right but technically you are not. As the act of sex is defined as intercourse. An actual physical act.
"SEx" is defined as:
1a. The property or quality by which organisms are classified as female or male on the basis of their reproductive organs and functions.
1b. Either of the two divisions, designated female and male, of this classification.
2. The condition or character of being female or male; the physiological, functional, and psychological differences that distinguish the female and the male.
3. Sexual intercourse.
If your partner has a "sexual fettish" that he is not incorporating into your sexual relationship and / or is not asking you to help him satisfy, then there's a problem.[/quote[ That I agree with to a certain extent. Yes, there is a problem, HOWEVER not all women are willing to indulge their partner in whatever fetishes or desires they may have. If such is the case than of course that person may have to SELF-indulge. That may mean masturbation while they fantasize about it. Nothing wrong with that if it's ok with the male that his partner doesn't wish to satisfy him in that particual manner, as long as he's no engaging in sexual activities with anyone else. IN PHYSICAL FORM..we're not talking about "in spirit" here! | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 5:46:06 PM | | Stupid computer porn vids ???? You did it for him ???? with or without success ??? Well even James Bond Masturbates "No-Body Does It better". lol. | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 5:50:05 PM | | Maybe when you woke up and saw that you should have given him a b--- j--...sounds like everything is all about YOU...tell the truth, how often do you turn him down? | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 6:08:23 PM | Masturbation/ computer porn is infidelity................................
ya right !!!!?
I assume when women are haviong sex and they have their eyes closed
they are thinking about the 'cute guy in accounting'
it helps them have the big 'O' | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 6:13:06 PM | masturbation = normal = healthy
sometimes it's a stress release, sometimes it's about a fantasy , sometimes your partner isn't around , sometimes ah well you get the point. It's harmless!
unless he is only masturbating and not spending any time with you then I don't quite see a problem . But you should definitely talk to him if it's bothering you . Your annoyance will only grow if you don't get this out in the open right away , you'll start to resent him. | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 6:20:06 PM | AGE,DISTANCE,YRS.MARRIED,AND BELEIVE ME HORMONES............DON'T USE IT HE WILL LOSE IT............. | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 8:07:57 PM | #101 ...
I assume when women are haviong sex and they have their eyes closed
they are thinking about the 'cute guy in accounting' ... it helps them have the big 'O' Assume what you will, but when I have my eyes closed it's not because I'm thinking about the 'cute guy in accounting' ... I could care less about him ... thinking about him does nothing towards my big 'O'!
That's the problem ... just because guys are thinking about the little "cutie in accounting" while their driving their nail, they assume we're thinking about similar things when we have our eyes closed!
If you really want to know what we're thinking when we have our eyes closed ... ASK ... don't assume!
OT ... bottom line is the lady needs to communicate with her man. From what she has posted so far, she has no problem wanting all the sex she can get ... now she just has to decide if she wants to be a part of him masturbating in front of the computer porn.
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 8:53:02 PM | | OP, masturbation is normal for men and women, married or single...Perhaps he simply wanted release without having to 'perform' with you. Sometimes men (and women) simply want that and not everything else that making love with each other entails. Although I'd be a little concerned that he was doing it on the computer very frequently, especially if you've made it clear to him that you're there and willing. That could mean there are other issues involved. And the only way to clear those up is to both talk about them. | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 8:56:35 PM | OP: i think (or thought) that everybody masturbated. i think it's really very natural and also not exactly something one does in place of or instead of sex. in fact, i think if i was with a guy and he didn't masturbate, welllllllllllllll, that'd prolly be a bit of a cause for concern in that it might mean that his libido coiuld be a bit on the weak side... *shrug*
if it's just the porn part that bothers you, well, maybe you can talk about it with him? what i really mean is, maybe you can have an open dialogue with him about masturbation, talk to him about what ways he does it (and what ways you do, if you do) and try to perhaps make it part of the dialogue you have with each other about your sexual relationship? you know? i mean if it's bothering you, then probably talking is in order...
i mean, i don't know exactly where it would go from there, but it would be better than NOT talking openly about it, right?
good luck!!!!  | |
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| Why do married men masturbate?
Posted: 5/6/2006 9:01:16 PM | | all habits can get out of hand....I agree if he was doing this everyday and not being a giving person in the relationship that it could be a bad thing. There are people who have a sick obsession with porn just like people who have sick obsessions with anything from food to drink to gambling to drugs etc. But the actual act of masturbation is not sick. Just read any book on normal human sexuality. It's not strange or weird...just part of being human. And in fact can make you a better lover if you understand yourself. | |
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