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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/2/2006 10:36:49 AM | To me independant means you're a woman that isn't looking for a man for monetary support. Nor do you feel the need to have a man in your life in order for you to be happy. By that last comment I'm simply stating that *anyone* shouldn't feel the need to have someone in their lives in order to feel happiness...you need to find your own happiness.
This is along the same lines of that hogwash *a strong woman*. Some women think being a strong woman means that she can be nasty, belittling to a man, is ready to fight a man if he pisses her off, not taking S**T from anyone and so on and so on. Sorry, but I see that as a weak woman. | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/2/2006 11:22:47 AM | *a strong woman*. Some women think being a strong woman means that she can be nasty, belittling to a man, is ready to fight a man if he pisses her off, not taking S**T from anyone and so on and so on. Sorry, but I see that as a weak woman.
i agree totaly with the above quote! to have to defend your self at every turn, to attack at every affront, to be driven to assert your dominance over any inequity created by a man or woman is a sign of a weak personality, be it male or female. Most of the time use your observing ego and just let go of the need to fight. just move out of the space the attack occupies dont hold on to the need to defend the negativity from others.
you become what you focus on
your thoughts are things
what persists exists in your mind
when you hold on to a bad idea you hardwire it in your brain, and those pathways exist even when the thought is" not" active.
think positive and secure thoughts and you will become that what you think. its called manifesting your own intentions....... the world would be a better place if everone did this,kind of like heaven....on earth.
my 2 cents worth . | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/2/2006 11:33:27 AM | I am a kind, friendly, fun and independant woman...and I don't mind saying so! So many men seem to think that self proclaimed independent women in general are biotches looking for some kind of free ride in the dating world, as well as on the homefront. Just like the song by Destiny'e Child, I can make my own money, solve my own problems and take care of myself!
I don't 'need' anyone to pay my way through life...I have my own needs met in every way, but I 'want' someone special to snuggle and fall asleep with at night   ...share emotional intimacy with, meaning body mind and soul! And of course someone special to wake up to in the morning...
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 6:06:55 PM | | dustin I consider myself an independent woman. It has nothing to do with money in my opinion. To me indepence means no being co-dependent. People who are co-dependent feel they basically need to be joined at the hip with their partner. The do everything together. They can't survive without a mate. Someone who is independent has their own interests, likes their own company enough to want to spend time alone and functions without the help of a mate. That doesn't mean they don't want to spend time with the significant other it means they don't HAVE to spend time with them every second of every day to be happy. | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 6:13:11 PM | Mr. Ed--is wiser than the women who claim to be independent, he actually made it short-to the point-and hit it right on. | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 6:55:14 PM | With my experience, I have found that only a strong man , secure in his own masculinity is comfortable with an independant woman. (Weak men , show their insecurities immediately) He will boast about himself and only pretend to listen to what you have to say.
It's always a weak man who hits or verbally abuses a woman, thats the only way he knows how to "Proove Himself".
As for the original question; I don't beleive that a real independant woman has to announce that she is, it will be appearant in every way. What makes a girl independant? MANY YEARS OF EXPERIENCE! She is capable of taking care of herself.
She doesn't NEED a man................. She Wants a man.
Pink | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 7:11:40 PM |
(Msg 101) To me independant means you're a woman that isn't looking for a man for monetary support. Nor do you feel the need to have a man in your life in order for you to be happy. By that last comment I'm simply stating that *anyone* shouldn't feel the need to have someone in their lives in order to feel happiness...you need to find your own happiness.
I've often wondered about not needing someone in your life in order to be happy. When we hear about women wanting children and even taking special medication and going on and on about how unhappy they are not having a child should we tell them it's unhealthy for their happiness to rest upon another individual? | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 7:24:29 PM | I define myself as an independant woman. I am happy in my life. I have an awesome career and a ton of goals to go with that. I support myself with my own place, etc. I have my own mind and I don't play dumb for guys. I love to laugh and have a ton a fun with my friends. I am looking for a man to compliment that. But I have found that most men are intimidated by a woman that has all those qualities.
What do you all think?? after reading this thread I really don't know...  | |
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~S~
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Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 111 | |
| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 7:43:48 PM | Okay, I couldn’t leave this one alone.
I make my own money, pay my own bills, can mow my own lawn, and even buy my own car. If I can’t do it then I hire the job out. Had a new hot water heater put in this summer. I’m sure I could be considered independent. There are many things out there that a man could probably do better that me but this also swings the other way. There are more than a few things that I am better at than him. I like to think of myself as more of an equal.
~S~ | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 7:57:08 PM | | I think when a woman says she is independent she does not mean it, by this I think she is looking for validation. When someone is a "certain way", or possesses a certain "statute", there is no need to advertise it. Just my opinion. | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 8:59:43 PM | | some men are just threatened knowing that some women are independant. they feel as if she can do it, why does she need me around. but what some men don't realize that even though we have our independancy we would still like to have a man around. there are plenty of guys that say that they're also independant, they would still like to have a woman around as well. | |
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Ms. Me
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Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 114 | |
| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 9:40:43 PM | | Pls guys, let me know why cause frankly, I'm so tired of man saying and posting it on their profiles that they wish for an independent woman, yet they get scared or something when they do meet one. They find independent woman to be intimidating. They might also feel they become "smaller" inside cause in their instincts the man is the provider so he has to take care of their woman. So if there is a woman who doesn't "need" a man to take care of her financially, he doesn't know how to handle it and runs away or loses interest or whatever. Than DON'T WISH FOR AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN. DON'T include that in ur profile! Cause I'm very very independent to the tee and I'm sick and tired of men telling me after that they felt they were not good enough for me and all that bullshit. U guys r either lieing or don't wish for an independent woman! Ok, I'm done. | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 9:52:58 PM | I see someone pretty regularly who is quite wealthy (a widow ...and in the millions) so she is certainly all set financially and sometimes I'll suggest she pay for dinner or split the tab on something with me, so for her the need for a man isnt for money, but she would never say she doesnt "need" a man. In fact, she does. She's a woman, she has a lot to offer as a woman, very loyal and devoted and affectionate, etc. and she likes having someone in her life to be with, to miss, etc. If she didnt, even with her financial independance I'd think she was poor to not "need" a man just because she has money. And because she still does "need" a man, despite that, that's where she is rich .... "need" can be an indication of abundance, too, not just the lack of something.  | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 10:02:36 PM | I am still waiting to hear why the men won't date independent women!!
I have always indicated that I am independent. I guess it all lies in the interpretation of the reader. After my divorce a million years ago, I became independent out of necessity! -- and NO! I did not get a big healthy settlement from the ex! I had to support myself. So, to me, it means that I earn my own money (not on welfare or SS), pay my own bills, have my own vehicle, live on my own, and make my own decisions, I created my own debts and am therefore prepared to work them off, and not expect a partner to absorb my financial obligations. Not looking for a sugar daddy!
But that certainly doesn't mean that I am reluctant to get into a relationship with a man. As so many posters have stated, I don't need a man to support me, but I want a man to help fill the void in my life, the sharing, the doing things in a predominately "couples" world, the cuddling, the passion and the intimacy -- And for sure, a couple of good strong arms to do help with the heavy things around the house and the yard would be most welcome,
So before you all judge a woman by one single word in the profile, .......... please be cautious/gentle! You just might be missing out on the "right" one. | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 10:34:21 PM | | I love independent women.. everyone needs space.. and it's great when you don't have feel obligated to spend time with her because she can go have fun with her own friends.. although it's tough at times when you want to get closer and they don't feel like getting closer because they're not in the mood.. double edge sword I guess.. but it's better than a woman that needs you 24/7.. | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/27/2006 11:23:03 PM | | I'll only date independant women. I don't want to be someones daddy and sure as hell don't want a clinging vine in my life. I've grown too attached to my own independance to give it up for someone that needs you there 24/7. | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/28/2006 12:18:38 AM | I love this topic. The answers are always the same from both sexes but they do make good gender-war fodder.
Any woman who actually is independent is attractive to any well-adjusted male. Fortunately for both sexes, these women make up the majority.
Any woman who feels the need to tell me she's independent is doing so for one of two reasons :
1) She doesn't want me to fear she'll hang off my ankle
2) She has a chip on her shoulder in regards to men
For the ladies, think of it this way :
You run across alot of profiles that say things clearly designed to appeal to a generic woman. "I like to cuddle....real men wear pink..." whatever it says really. And when you read those, you roll your eyes right ? (Ha ha ha ...I hope that you do anyway) Well, we guys see the line "I'm a strong and independent woman" written in pretty much every second profile. That's great. The question is why we're being told this.
As a factual statement, there's no problem with it. The question is why it's assumed we care. It's like announcing you're perfectly healthy and chlamydia free. Well, yeah, that's nice to know I guess....some reason to bring this up ?
See the point ? It's not what you're actually saying, it's why you're saying it that puts up the red flag. What turns so many of us off about that line ("I'm a strong and independent woman") is that it comes across as feminist rhetoric. After all, it's no coincidence so many women have mentioned it in their profiles (verbatim) ... it gets repeated because the source appeals to the women using the line. And who or what is that source ? We can start with Gloria Steinem and work our way through history....lol
The point is that it's not what you're saying, it's why you're saying it. Giant red flag to more and more guys. It could mean precisely what it says and it's just that simple. On the other hand, ...well why mention it then ? We already take it for granted that you can feed and clothe yourself without our help. With that out of the way, there really aren't that many other reasons for anybody to repeat that line that don't also apply to other inconsequential tidbits of information about themselves. | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/28/2006 12:37:29 AM | | Good thing this isn't a popularity contest.I think a lot of women are confused about where they sit in society,They know that they should be fighting for equality and such but at the same time they just wanna kick back and let the guys do all the work be the "men"I find independence attractive in women but I think of it as a defense mechanism when they say so in their profiles.After all,what kind of woman wants people to think she's needy? | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/28/2006 1:04:48 AM | | It's like.. they don't want to be woman. They want to act like a man. Bring home the bacon, wear the pants, all of that... It's cool if a girl makes her own money and has a life of her own, that's really great. But to claim that she is soo "independent" that she doesn't need a man in her life sounds like BS to me. | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/28/2006 10:00:09 AM | | angelab:; a guy who says hes nice probably isnt? there ya go guys...if you go around threatening women and claiming to be a jerk i guess that means you arent who knows? | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/28/2006 8:18:59 PM | | Mister Ed is right on but she also would like the fellow not to feel rejected when she does do some things on her own and expects him to be true to her and not carry on with some other chick because he is left home alone a couple of times a week. | |
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| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/28/2006 8:45:10 PM | Just my two cents....been there and not doing it again, there was no we....just "me" (her)
To controlling, demanding and no time for me. | |
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Belzer
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Joined: 9/30/2006
Msg: 125 | |
| Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 10/28/2006 9:06:40 PM |
An independent woman is one who does not need a man to satisfy her needs. One who is career oriented, happy about herself and her life, and knows her goals and where she is headed in life. As for why men would not date them, probably because it could be intimidating. I don't know....thats my view anyways.
This is bang on, and goes for men as much as women. We are all individuals who should be responsible for themselves, ultimately IMO, we should seek people we WANT to be with, not people we think we should NEED to be with. | |
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