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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/7/2008 8:27:54 AM | The monotony of this room knows no bounds. The sad truth is that some inviduals....I won't name any names except maybe "Kelli_18" and "Star911" shows how programmed our society is.
To answer your question, men date short women if they are attractive i.e. not fat, well proportioned facial features (nose, ears), etc. If you or anyone else is having a hard time finding someone, it isn't some genetic barrier you must overcome.
A guy could very well date a short woman just as a woman could date a tall guy if the person is attractive. Therefore, if your tall or short and you aren't geting many dates from your preference (tall or short) then you must be unattractive. Hey, I see it in the gym everyday and that is the bottom line.  | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:39:14 AM | A guy could very well date a short woman just as a woman could date a tall guy if the person is attractive. Therefore, if your tall or short and you aren't geting many dates from your preference (tall or short) then you must be unattractive.
You seem like a nice guy but you didn't say anything or gather anything interesting from this thread. Why you're into this topic might be a better question. What you said is just a side step, to borrow your term - monotonous; and I didn't see the call to be as sarcastic as you were, i.e. "won't name any names", and the self congratulatory victory salute is just over the top. 911 made a valid, interesting comment that was on topic.
My sincere point is that the topic is why short women and tall guys are so attracted to each other, far to the exclusion of others and other characteristics, not just whether they are attractive or not. Then to conclude that the ONLY reason one isn't getting any dates is because they are unattractive may be your opinion, but it's a pointless point to make and misses the opportunity to delve deeper if not at least stay on topic, which is tall/short, not attractive/unattractive.
I do agree with you though that many if not most of the posts here are monotonous, and our society is programmed (in my opinion in many detrimental ways, short/tall being one of them).
P.S. I have to comment here on babyboo's post following mine (since I was restricted from posting following it). My comment: monotony and missing the point marches on. Most people are treating this as a poll instead of a discussion, and it underlines what's most obvious to me - that they don't get it. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:50:10 AM | | all the guys ive dated were at least 6'2, and im only 5'1....I don't think alot of guy have height issues. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/7/2008 12:10:20 PM | Of course they do. However, these days it has become sort of a"thing" to date tall women if you´re a tall man (unlucky me! )..but who knows, it might turn the opposite in the future.  | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/7/2008 9:19:16 PM | I'm 6'9" tall. I've dated short women and I've dated tall women. Here's my theory:
SHORT WOMEN: Many short women feel cursed with their height and would like to be taller, but there's nothing they can do about it. I'm thinking they might like tall guys for breeding purposes - "I can't be taller, but at least I'll give my children a shot at it." And maybe for safety purposes. Maybe they want a tall guy around to feel better protected.
TALL WOMEN: Tall women like dating tall guys because it makes them feel more feminine. They want to be able to put heels on and still look up to their man.
Do tall men date short women?
I have no problem at all dating a short woman. I don't have a big hang up about height. I am guilty of having a preference for someone who is height/weight proportionate. I feel very fortunate for being tall, I thing that short guys get a bad rap. Come on women, they need love too.
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/7/2008 9:50:01 PM | I think tall guys need to ask themselves a few questions...Is she attracted to me for my height or is she attracted to me? If she is attracted to you, then she would be with you whether 5'4" or 6'4". Ask her after a few dates...If I was only [insert short height] would you have gone on a date with me? If she say's no, then you need to question if she loves you or your height.
Is she with me just to make herself feel feminine and more womanly? Most women need outside forces to feel feminine.
Is she with me because she wants tall offspring? Many short women will admit to this one. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/8/2008 8:26:33 AM | Quite interesting article actually, but I'm not at all surprised.
Ever since the 1st time I was told that I was too short to date, I started understanding the rules of the game.
Now it doesn't even bother me when they tell me that, because if I was to get $100,000 everytime I got told that, I'd be a multi millionaire. Best of luck to them going for the upper echelon of guys who the majority of them know they have options.
Ever since then, I have realized that the female friends that I know who were height snobs are still single after all these years (Minus a couple of them who got lucky and snagged a good guy), and they're always claiming they meet the bad ones everytime there's a get together.
Go figure. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/8/2008 8:39:35 AM | Opposites attract- I prefer 5'11 to 6'1 i can only wear 4 inch heels not 5  | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/8/2008 1:21:26 PM |
Of course they do.
Thank you.
However, these days it has become sort of a"thing" to date tall women if you´re a tall man (unlucky me! )..but who knows, it might turn the opposite in the future.
This observation reminds me of a phenomenon that we see what we want to or are interested in seeing. For example: when I was young and an opportunity to buy a sports car presented itself, I bought and totally rebuilt it from the ground up. It was a huge investment in time, I was intimately knowledgeable of this particular model and proud of my work. I was struck by and sure there grew to be more of them on the road, but it was an illusion... they were in fact a dying breed. My interest enhanced my perception. They were always out there, I just hadn't noticed them.
If you "orionican" see tall men suddenly dating taller women, this perception thing may be a factor and leaning heavily on your personal experience. In my 54 years on this planet I've seen the general popular trend go the other way... more today than ever. When I see people of more equal size together, it's rare, like my sports car was, but it's what stands out to me because I'm interested in the concept (of people picking the someone their own size). You honestly acknowledge shorter men do in fact have a height bias against them, implying and probably feeling only the taller guys are the datable ones, and ironically that it's you who is unlucky. Something to think about but thanks again for the acknowledgment.
As for some of the comments from others about why short women favor tall guys... tired old rationalizations in my view. I wrote papers in college psych and socio classes on this topic and offered the same hypotheseze, but real life is different. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/8/2008 5:48:57 PM | Hi OP,
I am 6' 2" and have dated ladies around 5' tall and even up to 5' 6" but the same thing always happened. "HUH?", "What did you say?" were voiced by both people and being the taller one I had to lean down all the time while walking or what ever. The shorter person rarely tilted their heads up so they could be heard.
This lead to them saying I wasn't listening to them when in fact I didn't even hear them. Laying in bed may be another story but you don't live in bed.
In my profile I say I am looking for a taller lady and communication is the main reason. I'm open to shorter ladies but their personality really has to be willing to give as much as I do in the communication area.
Looking at the top of someone's head all the time gets old.
That being said my Grandpa, all 6' 6" of him, married a lady that was 4' 11". All of his siblings were over 6' 4", women too, all thirteen of them, from Germany/Prussian. Not sure if they had a good marriage because he passed away a few years before I was born. She was not a friendly person and hit a lot. In my experience short or tall ladies seem to hit equally. That slug in the shoulder, stomach, back of the head, not fun at all but stupidly accepted by society, maybe it's a PNW thing. I never encountered it till moving here.
I have had almost all good relationships with taller ladies. I think it is the communication factor. Being able to see eyes, something I love to look at, and actually hear what someone is saying to me is a good thing.
Good luck on your finding someone taller, if that is what you are after. Maybe some of the ladies that are short and going with taller guys can share their secret of being able to communicate with them. If I find a short lady that looks up and talks louder enough to be heard while walking, standing, what ever that would be great. Just doesn't happen much. Most couples I have seen are usually within the same height area. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/8/2008 9:07:54 PM | | You bring up a good point I rarely see "put name here", about one of the difficulties that disparate height couples have... that of every day communication. You would think that short ladies would tire of looking up to their tall partners, but you point out that they simply leave it up to you to lean down all the time. It's one of the points I like to bring up, that of being able to whisper in your lover's ear when walking, looking into their eyes, everything associated with being on the same level and having the same point of view... literally, but figuratively too. I take it a step further that it also applies laying down and being intimate too... I mean, why would a woman rather stare into a man's chest hair than have her face closer to his for all the same reasons? Anyway, I don't have a problem with anyone, especially tall guys who look for partners their own size, and everyone seems to like me except short gals. They will be rude and snub me on sight, as if I had run over their dog or something. I do think it's a social sickness conditioned from birth. Every generation of females passes it on. Guys not so much. I don't recall ever being hit though, but I've seen that and I guess the bigger guys might get it because they supposedly can take it I guess. Reminds me of the "Friends" episode where Joey's very little girl friend hit him (kiddingly) so much and hard that he had to start wearing layers of sweaters to soften the blows. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 12:43:46 AM | i will only date guys if they are taller than me. i don't know something about being able to look up into their eyes, all me a romantic.....
maybe it's because my mom is 5'1" and my dad is 6'4". maybe i don't know any different. i just think that a guy dating a girl thats taller than them is weird. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 11:47:14 AM | i just think that a guy dating a girl thats taller than them is weird.
Laughable but seriously...
everything, or even half of everything else being equal... the above comment is instead weird to say the least, especially in our otherwise supposedly information rich, diversity tolerant, freedom loving, live and let live society. I am not weird, young one and neither is any woman taller than me who finds my company pleasant, joyful, fun, exciting, loving, arousing and even romantic. To a person like myself, who didn't have the good sense to be a little taller, does anyone have any idea how barbaric , arbitrary and pernicious "goodwitche's" attitude is? And I'm not surprised either... I know it's conditioned into women's collective consciousness, but it's no less appalling, especially when all most people have to say about it is "it's a preference"... but to say it's weird is unnecessarily rude and cruel. Also, defining romantic as looking up into his eyes, minimizes and limits all that romance is. I know women and girls will defend against any comment that portrays them as anything less than virtuous... but news flash: a tall man is not automatically more worthy of romance or romantic simply because he is tall, a short woman is not any more virtuous because she limits herself to tall men, and defiance to the contrary is deceptive to others and probably herself.
Weird... sheesh... and again, nothing wrong with pointing out this is meant to be a discussion, not a poll. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 12:52:14 PM | | Interesting article and some good comments. I can only add some of my own experiences as a short guy. When I was in high school and college I never had a problem attracting women or having girlfriends. We were young and I'm sure that my height wasn't as much of an issue to the girls because they weren't wearing heels. When I got divorced, at 32, I began using dating resources (classifieds at the time, then on line sites when the internet came to life). At first I didn't understand why I wasn't getting dates, or dates with attractive women, when it was never a real problem when I was younger. As I gained experience in the dating world, and read more and more profiles and articles on dating, I came to the realization that I was no longer desirable, at least to the type of women that I had been involved with before (attractive, intelligent, good personality, friendly, funny...in a word "quality"). I haven't given up on trying, but I have learned to accept the fact that the vast majority of women will never be interested in someone my height. I can live with that and I have learned not to be unhappy in life about anything that you cannot change. The one thing that does annoy me is how many women, and some men as well, look at short men as handicapped or defective in some way. I also get tired of women 10 to 20 years older than me or 50 to 150 pounds heavier than me approaching me because they think I'm desperate. If I never date again, at least I have some wonderful memories of those sweet & beautiful girls that loved me way back when! | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 3:33:52 PM | Good post, rd1955.
I can relate, though I never married... I did have long term relationships. Before the internet, I at least had the opportunity (though still difficult) to be rejected in a more dignified way (face to face). I had the chance to interact and indeed have many more good times - though I often heard "frankly, you'd be the perfect man if you were taller". Now they (esp short girls) apparently look at the height or other stats at the top of the profile on line and pass. Sure one can be available to more people this way, but rejected by more as well, and more easily.
As for taller or bigger women taking a liking to me... I kind of agree but my experience where that happened, it was because a few things coincided. We just happened to be working together in some way, weren't looking to "hook up", we got to know and like each other without the "are they a match for me" pressure and criteria going on. We find we're of kindred spirit because we suffer the same kind of rejection by who we'd rather date - same size - because big guys only going after the tiny women and visa versa. We both indeed were treated, however subtly, as defective or handicapped by our same size counterparts.
If I may say, taller women, as short ones do given the remote chance, have found me to be "surprisingly" likable, fun and genuine, because they are willing to see me and let me be who I am... they let their guard down as they would around a gay dude - I'm non threatening, providing they don't presume I have issues because of my height and am a deviant of some kind. They also see that upon realizing how profound my dilemma is regarding dating, are surprised I'm actually not more screwed up because of it. I'm honestly not happy about it but stronger from it too. My only problem is when it's obvious someone else has a problem with it.
This probably belongs in a different forum and I think I will take it there, I also don't object to taller women simply because they are "not my preference" either. And if we become intimate, it's more fun and exciting than it is serious. One of my most favorite women I've ever known and had the pleasure of her company, horizontal as well as vertical, was 5'9" tall, and we were even dance partners too. As for my eyes being at her chest level, I certainly didn't mind that, but we had the same neck problems as other (tall guy short girl couples) talking to each other. But if I may add, horizontally, we were easily face to face. Something about respective anatomies that makes that easier for short guys/tall girls than the other way around. My perception is that tall ladies have a greater leg to torso ratio than short gals, but men have a greater torso to leg ratio no matter their height... however slight I think that's true. I only add these observations since that's all everyone is focused on, physical difference. I maintain it's what's inside that's more important. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 4:05:53 PM | | since i am tall 5'9" i have a difficult time finding men 6' or taller. perhaps it is true they are looking for a shorter female, so they can fill that urge to protect. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 4:56:22 PM | | I am short and fat and have dated and do date men who are of varying heights......guess some men do see just how sexy I am (contrary to the popular belief of most of the men who have posted on this thread) | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 4:59:00 PM | perhaps it is true they are looking for a shorter female, so they can fill that urge to protect.
True, but there's more to it. Most of my men friends have been taller or heavier than me, and from all I've gathered from them from adolescent to over 40, from beach going to Hollywood club hopping, it goes like this: the littler girls hang around them... the guys literally can't turn around without bumping into them. The little girls flirt and actively pursue the big guys in there own way... "could you reach that for me?" (in the grocery store), the eye contact, smiles, giggling, brushing up against them and just being in their face constantly. To this day I'll see female cashiers hold up their line while they banter like this with some tall guy, then when it's my turn I get the bum's rush. Meanwhile the taller girls and ladies are usually standing not too far away (in whatever scenario) frowning on these embarrassing displays. Who's the guy going to say "so, whatcha doin later?" to? He has little choice... that may be the only way to get this humping dog off his leg, so to speak. BUT, the guys (and the tall guys HAVE a choice) choose little girls because they make them feel like a big man... not just height but in intimate ways, notwithstanding most guys are more similar there than over all body size. They see how miserable my dating life is and know full well why, so they don't mind making sure they're always "looked up to". It's all very juvenile and mostly subconscious, and carries on into adulthood. But wait there's more! There's the dominance factor, to be in control of her without much fuss he'd otherwise get from someone on his level, verbally, physically and mentally. It also includes a sprinkling of pedophilia. Not the ugliest kind, but for teenage type girls... the just ready for sex cheerleader and catholic school girl types. Also when girls were teens, their first time was more than likely with an older bigger guy too, and we all know we don't forget our first, so that's the type we tend to be attracted to. And the daddy's little girl phenom as opposed to the annoying brother. Frankly I'm surprised grown women can't figure this stuff out, but glad when they at least try or question what the deal is.
Protection has less to do with it, because he's the same size whether with a tiny girl or one his same size, she's just a more attractive target if he's looking to prove himself constantly. Still, juvenile and quite selfish really. I personally can drop a guy twice my size, so the "I feel safer with a big guy" lament is a tired old excuse to my ears. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 6:44:27 PM | I see LOTS of tall men with short women.
Women do NOT seem to understand that the shorter they are, the MORE attractive they are. I've had this discussion with many of my female friends, especially the tall women who wear heals. I know several women who are 5'9+ and INSIST on wearing heels when they go out, yet can't figure out why they are still single! Well DUH, if you make yourself taller than 99% of the male population, you've pretty much ruled yourself out of the dating world.
Nearly ALL women want very tall men, and oddly enough they all think they are unusual in this respect. I don't know any single men over 6'1 because women THROW themselves at them. I tell my female friends that if they really want a very tall man, their game has to top notch because the competition will be fierce. That means tanned skin, good social game, great haircut, sexy but tasteful clothing, spectacular makeup job, and fun attitude.
For the naysayers, I invite them to go onto ANY dating website and look at the heights of the single females. Average for adult human females is 5'3.5. You will quickly see that the average for single females is WAY taller... and it will be hard to find single short women! | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 6:56:27 PM | When you're a short woman all you have to choose from IS taller men .. LOL. Not many guys under 5'3" around ...
(just thought I'd mention this ... LOL)
p.s. haha@THROW ... hmmmm I should try that. Pretend they are made out of David Lettermen's velcro wall and just take a running leap hoping I'll stick ahahahaha .. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 7:25:52 PM | | i've always dated shorter women. don't know why and recently been with a few girls over 5'9". only difference is when you're necking standing up next to a building in the winter so you can open each others coat and stay warm! I've noticed a large % of girls out here are very tall, over 5'10". what do you get from that? | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 9:33:04 PM |
Im 5'8" and can't get past the height thing.....BIG PROBLEM WITH ME.... I prefer a man taller than 6'2". Some consider this shallow but It's actually a preference .
No its both. Its a shallow preference. Its something insignificant and inconsequential that you prefer.
Though seeing as how you don't consider it shallow or superficial, what about a guy who only wants to date blondes with a 34DD and up chest with no waist. Is he shallow? Or is it just a preference? | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 9:43:40 PM |
When you're a short woman all you have to choose from IS taller men .. LOL. Not many guys under 5'3" around ...
At 5'3" You aren't short, you are average height for an American female. | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/11/2008 1:27:21 AM | When you're a short woman all you have to choose from IS taller men .. LOL. Not many guys under 5'3" around ...
Umm, hello? I'm standing right here! BTW kattapult, nice song choice... Clapton was my first guitar hero. Nice profile too... can't say that about many.
At 5'3" You aren't short, you are average height for an American female.
Correct, but she's from Canada.
Lots of misconceptions in our world, including the fact that us MEN under 6' are either invisible or just human clutter. And on matching sites, the obsession for tallness is so imperative that men fudge their height number... even tall men, and especially when nearing the magical 6' number. And when they add 1 or 2, 2 & 1/2 inches, the short guy is just eliminated... he can't add 5 or 6 inches to his height. He instead has to built up his character to try to compensate, so he'll often tell the truth about his height because it's in his character to defy it should be a problem, or is belittled from mentioning it because no one wants to hear it. So another problem is all the ladies think most men are 6 feet tall, when most of them who say so are really between 5'9" & 6'. It's like that joke about how women are poor at measurement... because guys keep telling them a foot is this long (holding their hands around 7 " apart).
A guy anywhere below 5'8" knows he's out of the height competition. I remember when platform shoes were in style, and guys who were already a few inches taller than me suddenly skyrocketed above 6'. I had to wear 5" platforms to minimize an already belittling gap... which was humiliating and I looked ridiculous either way. I did have to have good balance though and shorter people usually do.
As for where you'd find able bodied men, incredibly disciplined with a tireless work ethic in the 5'3" range, try around the race tracks, training ranches. Jockeys and exercise riders, pound for pound, are the most agile, strongest, bravest, and most capable athletes in the world, and for the most part they're sensitive and love animals (speaking mostly for myself). Nothing should be more appealing than that, and I did okay with the ladies and the fillies. But that work is thrilling (hard to compete with) and demanding... girls have their work cut out to get and maintain a relationship with a guy like that... but then again, here I am; single with time to share now but no takers. That goes to bragging rights... a lady is under pressure to brag either about how tall her man is or what he does... and I don't do that anymore so I may as well be pond scum. (shrug) | |
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| short women/tall men
Posted: 11/20/2008 4:38:01 PM | Threads like this are usually thinly veiled complaints by tall women about why they see most tall guys dating average height women (because she views average height women as "short"). It's because there are far more average height women than tall women, and women, no matter what their height, mostly go for tall men. In general, most guys don't care about a woman's height.
Course if those same tall women were not often so insistent on guys being their height or taller to date, they would not have such slim pickins. But then again we all know that height is something that not only is changeable but can be changed by discipline, exercise, and good eating habits and all that unlike weight which cannot be changed right?  | |
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