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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/19/2005 10:17:04 AM | here are some things I have learned:
ok I know we have been talking about childhood traumas, but I am talking to you as a adult, for when you go out tonight.....These are in addition to Cybercat52's tips......
*never, ever accept a drink from anyone, even if it is a "good friend" of your's
*if a man wants to buy you a drink, go to the bar with him and watch the bartender make the drink
*never ever go back to a man's place unless you are willing to have sex, simple as that, a man will only invite you back to his place for one thing, if he really wants to talk to you and get to know you, then he will suggest coffee unfortunately when you go with a man to his place no becomes yes....I wouldn't even invite him to my place....if I want to get to know him we can go to the local diner or something....
*never leave your drink unattended. If I put my drink down and go dance, even if I just got it, I will leave it and go get another one from the bartender (why not waitress? well, I worked in a bar as a bartender for over 15 years and I dind't trust the waitresses because I noticed that they would do anything for an extra buck or two, serious) take your drink to the bathroom with you, it is now your best friend, otherwise someone WILL slip something in there and then you will forever live with "what exactly happened?"
You will never ever 100% get over it. I was married to my husband for 8 years before I told him about my incident. MY experience: my boyfriend "for some reason" couldn't make it to pick me up at the bar one night so a couple of "our good friends" took me back to his place. I had not had one drop of alcohol that night. When we got in the car one of "our good friend's" offered me a beer. He even opened it for me. How sweet of him. What a gentleman. Whatever...... I don't remember hitting the city limits which was about 1/4 mile from the bar (I worked at a bar 30 minutes from boyfriend's house). I woke up the next morning not at my boyfriend's house but at some guys trailer out in the country. "our good friend" was still there and no one would talk to me, no one. I was on my period and had a good idea what happened, but who, how many, protection? Thank God I didn't walk out of there with something terrible. Well, needless to say, my boyfriend wouldn't listen to me and broke it off with me. I was terribly devasted by losing him. Ya know, it was not my fault and my life was "ruined". Well for a few months anyway. But I loved my boyfriend, I thought we were going to get married. Well, if there is any justice, one of my assailants was almost killed in a boating accident, now he has scars for the rest of his life. Yes, I will be honest, I smiled and was overcome with joy when I heard this. Today, I could care less if he lives or dies, he is no longer a part of my life...Oh and the boyfriend too....
I may seem like a b***h but oh well, it is my personal safety and if I don't want to spread my legs, I ain't, and if you do it for me, well I will press charges. I must admit that that experience has made me a lot wiser and tougher, more able to stand up for my rights.
Oh and let me add that this was an experience. An experience usually happens once, it is not a way of life, a lifestyle choice. Don't become a victim.
So I told my husband and he still loved me. I lost my husband 17 months ago. He was my biggest supporter and loved me no matter what had happened to me in the past. He was also my biggest defender and thought about "taking care" of the sitution. But I told him it was in the past, I am letting it go. But he told me if we ever ran into these guys to tell him and he would do something about it. My husband was ex army, so I have no doubt he would have. He was the most considerate and caring man. God gave him to me to help me heal. So there is someone out there for you to help you heal. He does exist and I hope you share the love, trust, and passion that my husband and I shared. | |
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jimi77
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Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 27 | |
| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/19/2005 10:54:55 AM | For one.. I think you should go to a councilor.. Maybe a Christian one because it aligns with your faith and they can help you make sense of it.. It will be someone that you can talk to and spill it all out and that always feels good to get it off your chest plus they wont ridicule you or throw it in your face.
My heart goes out to you, you have seen the ugliness of this world far to young.
Here is something to think about. We only touch this world in the present, not the past or the future.. Then are things we can not change. The future we can to an extent.. But what I am getting at is.. The past is something you can not change.. You lived it, survived it and it is over,, cast it out of your mind.. It will do you no good to dwell on it.. As hard as that is. I know. But the past is effecting you now.. And I understand it will. But your past is not who you are now nor is it who you will be in the future. You still have value, you still are worthy to be loved.. Not abused.. Giving up hope only means this trial has beaten you and I know your stronger then that because your still here and still fighting.. Judging from your post.. You just need guidance and answers.. Hang in there. You’ll make it. I have faith in you. | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/19/2005 9:31:44 PM | | Retro...Added note I noticed there's a couple of insensitive men on here please don't listen to them.Thank God they don't know what it's like...Call a rape crisis center, get some counseling ,get help....Byrd | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/20/2005 1:32:47 AM | | i believe in tough love,retro,dont exspect me to spoon feed you,or hold your hand,stop feeling sorry for your self....shut up,and move on with your life,we all have battle scars. | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/21/2005 9:40:00 AM | I never comment on that which I could not imagine, I have a view and an opinion, but this is not what you need, the answer I feel is within all the answers here,
“focus on being you ,and positive things that life has to offer” :–excellent advice, if you go out today and I buy you a yellow car you will see twice as many on the road, in fact people who own yellow cars enter your life, so maybe, try focus on what it would be like to leave it all behind. How different would you feel, inside, what would the voices say then, if it was all gone how different would you act,
good so now you know how you should be feeling, start acting that person, okay maybe not the true you yet, but eventually it will be, it’s a starting point !! and that’s all you need.
starting today,dont talk about it ,dont think about it.but allways be carefull :– The rest of this one is a bit rough but has a point, apart from be careful, you don’t need to worry your subconscious is too tuned in for it to creep up on you, providing your sober, and straight.
it was never your fault – very true, but okay not your fault and what changes ????? sod all !!!, try this, if you as the person you are now, where put back into yourself back then, your mind and understanding of the world, could it happen again ?? This causes dreams and sometimes nightmares so be careful, turn off the PC close your eyes and see yourself today back in that same room, watching them and you, concentrate look at the details in your memory to get the same feelings, same breathing, same thoughts, the pain, and then SNAP IT !! become you today step into the little you and look them in the eyes, really feel it see it believe it, see their fear, as they realise they can no longer hurt you, as you have managed to bring the today you in as your support, as the you today would certainly make for a different outcome!!! plain and simple. I have never done this with anything other than my own demons, mine are not sexual, but horrific for me, but I dont suffer anymore or spend time dwelling on it. free
As for god, mankind has blamed this non tangable force since early days for their crap life, and situations, and lack of love, first off everyone I know that has learnt to love themselves has many friends and loves, it makes sense, you have to like you for others to, or really your saying "mmmm I hate me Im usless and crap Im bad Im unlucky, however you should love cherish and be with me because your great your good your perfect and your lucky !!" would you not think they would rather be with someone similar and not you if you were all these, but if you became and felt like that good person mmmm thats a winner, also why relations breakdown, you have to support it yourself inside to keep the love flowing, only you can change you... take your time and you'll get it, but not untill you make it happen, God is NEVER going to pop in and have a chat, or walk up with prince charming in a shopping bag, lets face it he'd only give you a clue of where to look, or maybe being god, he would be better and explain its about the 'inside you'
But he aint here its me so Im telling you its the inside, and you can do it, pray everynight, every night ask for a your prince charming to arrive, and I promise he will, not by gods hand, the powers to be use the name god to condition society, some still fall pray to it, god wont get you out of this you will, pray, pray every night, ask before you go to bed (30 times) "I pray I find my prince charming" and I promise you will, as its all about the subconsious, being programmed, to seek, it'll act on its own, maybe making you trip over in front of him, or acidently bump towards him" but to get a little deep its your consious mind holding you back, and please dont ever blame god for your problems or once YOU solve them, you'll think it was him !!!! smile and live !!! | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/21/2005 9:51:44 AM | just noticed these two new ones, both are right
(this one is a person who is used to having people help them solve issues, a nice thing to have, and good thoughts, but whats new, you know you need help, why else post ???)
Retro...Added note I noticed there's a couple of insensitive men on here please don't listen to them.Thank God they don't know what it's like...Call a rape crisis center, get some counseling ,get help....Byrd --- no offence Byrd
(this is a peson that stands alone, maybe has no one else to help them, or listen, and again the advice is excellent, words are harsh but just words, here though again comment with no real path, just get on with it, okay "On with what muppet" she knows she needs to move on, but how about some direction)
i believe in tough love,retro,dont exspect me to spoon feed you,or hold your hand,stop feeling sorry for your self....shut up,and move on with your life,we all have battle scars.
ps.. really just shows were all different, and thanks for filling my afternoon with thoughts, and choose advice from people similar to your position, as unless they walk in your shoes their advice is not for you, unless your ready to change you !
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/21/2005 10:56:33 AM | wow all those posts truly made me feel. I've always known since I got raped in dec of '03 that my life was changed forever. Things are much different now than they were then. I'm much happier and i find that i have stronger faith and contiune to carry on, just because that happened to me doesn't mean that I don't have a life, but it means that I managed to truiumph over the demons and carry on with my life. I still have issues trusting guys. I don't doubt that i will for the rest of my life. I just accept this, and allow it to become part of who I am. Who you are is a great part of what people see, and everything in your life is intergated in that. I've met so many people since then that are just competely amazing and SO, SO supportive of each other *rape victim survival network* That I don't know how i would have survived without them. I remember thinking the morning after when i woke up how was I gonna survive how was I gonna make it through the day without pain.... honestly it took one day at a time. I still take it a day at a time, I have many, many good days and they outnumber the bad. The flashbacks are still there- they only occur at night or when i'm with a guy alone, but i've learned how to deal with that and get help. Its so important to get help and counseling and get invovled in adovcating for your rights- and try to save someone's life- or stop something from happening to ONE person... you can't change the world, but BE the change you want to be.. it will happen. :)  | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/21/2005 11:02:52 AM | How dare ANYONE tell another how to feel ... How dare ANYONE tell someone to forget.. You DON'T forget... You remember it until in some cases it consumes you until you can't breathe... The only choices you have are remember,learn and survive or remember,be afraid and die... This from a girl who DOES REMEMEBER!!!!!!! Retro yes I know your hurting, you probably feel alone and afraid and if I could take that from you or anyone else whose been hurt male or female I sure as h*ll would.. but I can't. For you "men" who are insensitive a**holes by nature and no I won't spoon feed you some soft and gentle comment,screw off! If you have NEVER been there do not assume you have a clue, do not assume you have a RIGHT to be an a**hole. If it were your mother,sister,cousin,daughter you would not talk to them with such disrespect so don't do it to someone crying out for help. You CAN heal but you have to decide to my friends... Write,scream,take a self defense class,PRAY,carry mace,see a counselor,call a rape crisis center,if you need help finding one near you write me and I'LL try to find you one... Read the rest of the information below,you are not alone...
Halley
You are not alone:
One out of every six American women have been the victims of an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime (14.8% completed rape;2.8% attempted rape). A total of 17.7 million women have been victims of these crimes.[Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey, National Institute of Justice and Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1998.]
In 2002, seven out of every eight rape victims were female. [NCVS 2002]
About three percent of American men —- a total of 2.78 million men—have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. [Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women 1998.]
In 2002, one in every eight rape victims were male. [NCVS 2002]
About 44% of rape victims are under age 18. Three out of every twenty victims (15%) are under age 12. [Sex Offenses and Offenders. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 1997.]
Seven percent of girls in grades five to eight and twelve percent of girls in grades nine through twelve and said they had been sexually abused. [Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of Adolescent Girls, 1998.]
Three percent of boys in grades five through eight and five percent of boys in grades nine through twelve said they had been sexually abused. [Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of Adolescent Boys, 1998.]
93% of juvenile sexual assault victims knew their attacker; 34.2% were family members and 58.7% acquaintances. Only seven percent of the perpetrators were strangers to the victim. [Sexual Assault of Young Children as Reported to Law Enforcement. Bureau of Justice Statistics, U.S. Department of Justice, 2000]
In 1995, local child protective service agencies identified 126,000 children who were victims of either substantiated or indicated sexual abuse; of these, 75% were girls. Nearly 30% of child victims were between the ages of 4 and 7. [US Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Child Maltreatment, 1995.]
It's okay if you never reported it:
In 2001, only 39% of rapes and sexual assaults were reported to law enforcement officials — about one in every three. [1999 NCVS]
Of sexually abused children in grades five through twelve, 48% of the boys and 29% of the girls had told no one about the abuse—not even a friend or sibling. [Commonwealth Fund Survey of the Health of Adolescent Girls, 1998.]
Alot of people KNOW their assailants:
Approximately 66% of rape victims know their assailant. [2000 NCVS.]
Approximately 48% of victims are raped by a friend or acquaintance; 30% by a stranger; 16% by an intimate; 2% by another relative; and in 4% of cases the relationship is unknown. [2000 NCVS.]
He isn't always the man hiding in the bushes:
About four out of ten sexual assaults take place at the victim’s own home. Two in ten take place in the home of a friend, neighbor or relative. One in ten take place outside, away from home. And about one in 12 take place in a parking garage.
More than half of all rape/sexual assault incidents were reported by victims to have occurred within one mile of their home or at their home.
43% of rapes occur between 6 pm and midnight. 24% occur between midnight and 6am. The other 33% take place between 6am and 6pm.
The AVERAGE rapist:
The average age of rapists at arrest is 31. Fifty-two percent are white; twenty-two percent of imprisoned rapists report that they are married. [SOO, 1997]
Juveniles accounted for about 16% of forcible rape arrestees in 1995 and 17% of those arrested for other sex offenses [SOO, 1997]
In about one out of three sexual assaults, the perpetrator was intoxicated—30% with alcohol, 4% with drugs. [Alcohol and Crime. Bureau of Justice Statistics, 1998]
In one study, 98% of males who raped boys reported that they were heterosexual. [Sexual Abuse of Boys, Journal of the American Medical Association, December 2, 1998]
In 2001, only about 7% of rapes involved the use of a weapon—two percent used a gun, and four percent used a knife. 86% of victims reported the use of physical force only, and 7% were unsure. [2000 NCVS.]
Rapists are more likely to be serial criminals than serial rapists. In one study, 46% of rapists who were released from prison were rearrested within 3 years of their release for another crime -- 18.6% for a violent offense, 14.8% for a property offense, 11.2% for a drug offense and 20.5% for a public-order offense. [2002 RPR94]  | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/21/2005 11:09:24 AM | Retro,
I am a survivior of sexual abuse and rape. I will never "get over it" because it became a part of who I am and what I do. Yes, there are worse things, cancer, amuputation, etc. when we look at the physical form, however rape is not about sex, it is an angry violent crime that is about power and control. Rape is a form of murder, the child/woman I was at the time of each attack was killed, not my body, but who I was.
It took me a long time to admit the damage, because I couldn't "see" it. I made many poor choices based on what I thought of mysef, mostly that I was good for only one thing, and I did not have any power,
I went through bad relationships, consequent rapes, victim mentality, feeling sorry for myself, marginalizing myself, comparing my experiences to others, thinking it wasn't "so bad" (it is for each of us our own hell, though we don't have to live there), etc.
What I now know: I ALWAYS HAVE CHOICES! When I truly grasped this and put it on I was able to move forward.
There will always be someone that has had it better & someone who has had it worse, but no one except you who has had your experiences.
You will get plenty of help IF you ask for it. some of it will not be what you need, listen to yourself first and last, you do know what is best.
There will always be untrustworhthy people in the world, men & women, you do not have to keep them in your life for any reason.
There will always be wonderful. loving, & trustworthy people in the world, men & women, you can have them & keep them in your life.
A spiritual belief can be strong medicine, one I couple with the serenity prayer from AA as it reminds me that I am part of that "greater power" and must use my own wisdom.
Finally, you can heal, it is a choice. You have heard from a lot of people, take what works for you and forget what doesn't, it is all your choice.
blessings | |
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gg
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Joined: 12/21/2004
Msg: 35 | |
| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/21/2005 11:11:54 AM | Hi Marilyn
I wonder if your greatest hurdle will be all of that self doubt?
Getting to know yourself, discovering and cherishing your self worth will, I am sure be of help to you.
Getting in touch with who you really are, including your pain and becoming comfortable with that, will help you. Pain is ok, it's just not the same as other feelings but it's still allowed :-). You will come to terms with what has happened to you, eventually, when you are ready.
Eventually, when you are more comfortable with how you are feeling, including the anger and you have discovered your self-worth, it will become your best friend. You will not and you will not be able to allow others to disrespect your feelings. Your self worth will cry out to you and not allow itself to be undermined. You will come to recognise when it is being. At this point, you will feel more safe because you will have your power back.
Don't worry about how you manage things for yourself right now. It will all come together in time (yes it will).
Many hugs and keep talking. It's real for you and that's what counts. You are 'perfectly' acceptable.
If you do want some counselling, Person Centred/Rogerian counselling is a good, gentle place to start and if you feel you need something more after that, then cognitive therapy will help with your feelings of self-empowerment and help to bring you, functioning well, making your own choices, into the here and now.
Not least because of your experiences, you have a lot to offer this world. You show an interest in helping others... have you considered some voluntary work?
Just one word of warning, if I may... beware of overly sympathetic males who may contact you directly - on this site (at the moment), in view of your posting, as you may be considered by some unpleasant low lifes to be vulnerable. Remember that anyone seeking to create an environment in which you are 'isolated' is probably not too cool.
Take care of yourself, learn what makes you smile and how to administer your own tlc :-).
Can't beat your favourite music and a long candle lit bath, for example ;-).
Yoga?
Discover Marilyn and really enjoy her :-).
gg
(thanks for sharing) x | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/21/2005 11:12:34 AM | I don't know the answer....I'm willing to test it to see....any female vollinteers?
I'd prefer a larger woman...You know, arround 300 to 350 lbs
Just come take it. If you think you can get it...
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gg
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Joined: 12/21/2004
Msg: 37 | |
| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/21/2005 11:13:22 AM | | scooby, you're such an ignorant, adolescent twat brain. *sigh* | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/21/2005 11:22:26 AM | Halley thank you for posting the stats. Sad as it may seem those are about as current as you can get. I think we've all lived through something tramatic regarding rape or known someone close to us. As I discussed this with family members I found the same had happened to my sister and also my mother when she was young. I'm talking about the 1940's this goes way back even further than my mother.
I think the angry tough love poster hasn't a clue or has never had someone close to them live through something of this nature. For that I feel for him/her. Tough love isn't the place for rape/incest. You never get over something tramatic such as rape. You take the anger and place it to benefit you as a human being. Learn and move forward never forgetting. For if you forget you will find yourself in a similiar situation. As another poster did he became proactive in legislation and trying to pass bills for harder time for those preditors.
Counseling is a wonderful way to get you through times of anger and hate. Someone mentioned journaling, this is a wonderful way to get your thoughts and fears put out. Even for you to read yourself during times of confusion.
You can love and trust. Trust is earned and when you find the person who is worthy of your trust you'll know. Always trust your gut instinct it will not fail you...along with trusting in God.
Stop the cycle and those who don't understand....do understand it might be your children that have to go through something of this nature and with the statistics Halley posted we all should be activists for this cycle to stop.
This post struck me hard, so many hurt, not enough healed. | |
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gg
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Joined: 12/21/2004
Msg: 39 | |
| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/21/2005 12:40:05 PM | Trust when you're ready and happy to do so. There's no hurry, there's nothing 'wrong' with you (we all have this situation to deal with). Take your time and chill.
;-) | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 2/21/2005 7:37:40 PM | | Not only do you have to forgive yourself, but you need to forgive all the people that hurt you as well. Whether you actually talk to them and forgive them in person, thru a letter you never send or just by revisiting what each person did to you, tell yourself that you forgive them and yourself for what happened. AND MEAN IT. Once you can do that you will be able to let go of the past and move forward and live for today and trust again. | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 4/12/2005 2:01:15 PM | | It never goes away, I was anally raped by high friends over 20 years ago, you never forget and it does change a person, some how we just move on and go forward | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 4/12/2005 4:42:20 PM | | O. Shit. It must be bad. My sister was raped by my step father. I've seen the pain, just would never know cause" I've never been raped. | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 4/12/2005 4:48:17 PM | In my opinion, there are serial rapists, which make the statistics seem that lots of men are raping.
These rapists are usually people who are so respected that if you say a word wrong about them everyone goes to their defence.
I remember a lady came up to me once and said that a guy was following her. I didn’t believe her at first so I told her to walk with me towards town because she was heading to a lonely spot.
Anyway, as we walked and talked I noticed a guy following her. The appearance of the guy surprised me because he was good-looking and looked like someone that ladies would love to have as a boyfriend.
Anyway I walked her to a cop and the cop dealt with it. But I started to think if she had met me and him under different circumstances she would have chose him over me.
It seems like one of the worse things is that good people do nothing about evil when it’s in their midst.
Remember you’re not the problem they are and there are more good guys than bad guys out there.
Cry as much as you want because sometimes crying is a healer of the soul. | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 4/12/2005 6:24:35 PM | Harsh statement the title, but also kinda true.
We kinda heal Love. We kinda don't
We become fragile in certain areas.
Remember, we, break, we rebuild, but we rebuild stronger.
Some may need a little help along the way.
Some can Give help along the way.
It's just a matter of "careful" approach, in my view.
We're not rejects or broken.
Just a little fragile.
Don't ever break.
What you think?
<<<------------HAPPY BI-SEXUAL HERE!!!!!
JUMP IN IT'S WARM IN HERE
First and fore most....be true to you. | |
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| Let the Healing Begin...
Posted: 4/12/2005 6:53:01 PM | I'm not so sure I haven't blocked some schitzo stuff like that out...anyway.
"You will only let others love you as much as you love yourself." - low self esteem antidote
"you must drive down the road and take it on faith - that the guy coming other way won't cross yellow line." MAKE SURE YOUR BOUNDARIES AND LINES ARE CLEAR and enforced...
Taking it slow is okay...someone who care for you will wait...and if you want something take it..or give it...or something..
I don't know.trust comes hard...CYNICAL skeptical ...naive and innocent..SKEPTICAL PROBABLY best.
Trust in God -(self) man is falliable | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 4/12/2005 6:54:45 PM | | hi im 35 UYRS OLD AND IM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO BEEN RAPED BYE MANY MEN SINCE IWAS NINE YRS OLD IWAS MOLESED BYE MY MOM BEST FRIEND SON MY BROTHER A RECUTITER MY EX HUSBAND 3 E X BOYFRIEND AND MORE I WAS ALLWAYS THE VIVLLAIN OF IT ALL THATIWAS THE ONE WHO WANTED IT VERY HARD TO TRUST ANY MEN BECAUSE SOME TIMES WHEN THEY IM U THAT ALL THEY WANT IS CYBER SEX SO WHO CAN U REALLY TRUST IF THERE IS ANYONE OUT THERE WHO NEED S SUPPORT LET ME NOWIM THERE FOR U | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 4/12/2005 6:57:44 PM | | IVE BEEN THORUGH MANY COUNCLIERS AND CHRISTAN COUNCLERS THAT NEVER WORKS FOR ME | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 4/12/2005 7:51:35 PM | I just wanted to join in with tickled_pink_tx with the thought that there will be a time when you will heal. I also have a wonderful person in my life that is helping me through the process. But, don't think that finding a man will be answer. The healing has to come from within. And even if you choose to trust in the mercy of whatever higher power you believe in... the healing will happen within you, beginning with you. No one has the right to damage another person in this life. But, unfortunately it happens all the time, over and over again. We cannot change the person that hurt us. But we can change ourselves. It is not your fault... but you can learn from the experience how to better care for yourself.
The first thing you have to do is forgive yourself. The next thing is love yourself again. When you can do those two things... then perhaps you will decide its not worth it to carry the pain any more. That is the decision that I made... I left the pain and the blame with the person that tried to inflict it on me. It's his burden... not mine. And then I decided to only let those people into my life that I knew really really loved and cared about me. If a man tries to pressure you he isn't worth it. If anyone hurts you in any way.. they aren't worth it. What happened to you isn't worth it, sweetie.
Stop being a victim. Become a survivor first. Then surpass surviving to truly living. | |
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| Rape victim can't heal
Posted: 4/12/2005 7:55:10 PM | Im so sorry to hear about what happened to you. You did not, do not, deserve that. It sickens me that people do that to kids, and people of all ages that matter. I am involved in a Sexual Offense Support program at my school because of my want to educate people that the survivors are not to blame, and to help those who have been raped, molested, and abused.
You are a survivor, not a victim, never call yourself that.
I suggest googling Angela Shelton. She is an amazing person who went through so many ordeals similar to yours and countless number of other children and women. She recently made a documentary called Searching for Angela Shelton...she is inspiring. Ive heard her speak recently.
You will never forget what happened to you, and you will always know of that evil side from your past. Just know, even though you will never forget the trauma of your past, that there is a good side out there. There are good men out there.
You are beautiful, dont let anyone tell you differently. God will never put anything on your shoulders that you can't handle. I firmly believe that. | |
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