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| I need some advice...
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:00:44 PM | Totally amazing thread.
Okay for everyone on the thread, including the ones hanging on these threads year after year that are self proclaimed experts, that is at a lost to OP.
I would take just about anyone with a 6th grade reading ability to see by the 15th reply ,as well as thread "pregnant EX" that OP was just another "sperm receptacle" that either has killed another child or will carry one to term that most likely ..."I"... will end up paying for.
I'm astonished and appalled at the general agreement in the thread that abortation is a prefectly good means to POST birth control, and that the "sperm provider " has no say, but to cut a check for the next 19 years or so.
My most respect for the very few that offered adoption is voiced.
OP never defened herself in either thread for lack of taking care of her first child, or the attempted suiside, just the fact she wasn't going to jail.
That is where she may very well be at this moment. At 21 she is already breeding with someone she only knew after 8 weeks. A man, that in his profile states...." man looking for a man.".........
So just by her own admission, or lack of rebuttal. She is not taking care of the first child, is suisidal, total lacks any kind of sound responsible adult judgement.
She had many of many options not to create a child. Pills, patches, needles, condoms(his and/or hers), sex other then intercourse, and the old "Oldie but a Goodie"*** N-O *****"Just say No"
Instead she spreads her legs in a matter of a few weeks, then runs to a free dating site for answers....."WHAT DO I DO?"
The 1st part that amazes me that the majority here think it is fine and dandy to murder a life cuz to morons can breed.
The 2nd part that it is her decision alone. (I don't want to hear any crap about childbirth and the women, this is her 2ND at least). If he is to be held responsible then he should be able to make a legal call NOW.
Thank God there is a Michigan case in Federal court challenging that ,right now, under the constitution's "Equal rights clause"
The 3rd part that amazes me that how many in this thread need some psychic to come post so your curious minds will be at rest.
Let me be a little clairvoyant for you with Words of Wisdom By Big Daddy Joe:
She will either kill the child like millions and millions of others in this world that are prefectly happy with calling POST BIRTH CONTROL as "Pro Choice for the women" or we in another 13-16 years will have another loser on our hands that I paid to drag through the welfare,courts, and maybe jail syatem, as I am taxed to death while two other lazy pieces of crap are to lazy to go to almost any state ran health department or probation office and load up on FREE birth control.
Pleeeeeze .....The sooner society starts realizing that it's not the choice of "one" sperm receptacle and demands the responsibilites of others,including society as a whole, things will just continue to deteriorate. Life will be looked at to be plucked from the end of a coat hanger, and if not , tax players will be left with 2 or more decades of paying for the mess.
B
D
J
Gecko, I know you have only been posting a few weeks, and you won't make EVERYONE happy, but I read almost every one of your post. You are so on the money. Shoot it straight at them....They always ask for the truth, so let them swallow it.......
Funny, maybe OP did that,alot on this thread wouldn't have their panties in a bunch. | |
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:01:19 PM | | Instead of seeking advice here on the forums maybe you two should sit down together and discuss the whole situeation. If that doesn't help solve it try getting some counseling. You two may just need someone else there to help you both figure out what you want and whats best for the unborn child. You can't just think of yourselves you also have to think about this wonderful gift of life that you are carrying and do what is best for him or her. Good Luck and I hope you two can reach a mutual decision. The child is both his and yours. Yes its your body and thats why ultimately its your decision, but try to talk to him and see what you both want. | |
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:10:33 PM | Edit ... looks like treemanbdj beat me to it! ...... 
Okay ... I did some checking ...
The OP is a 21 year old student ... boyfriend is a 22 year old with no profession listed ... both from the same town.
The OP started this thread on 05/07 at around 10:30 PM, then her boyfriend started his own thread (Pregnant EX) on 05/08 (about 2 hours later) at around 12:45 AM ... that's where he told his side of the story. He stated at that time that there was already an appointment for the abortion and that she, herself had made it ... but of course we do not know if she kept it.
The last time she posted to this thread was on 05/08 at 10:35 AM ... she posted on her boyfriend's thread the same day at around 11:25 AM.
The last time the OP was on POF was was 07/02 ... the last time her boyfriend was on POF was 06/04.
This is his side of the story.
Alright ill let you all say what you want about me. But this is my desicion too. My ex girlfriend found out she ws pregnant after we broke up. We agreed to have an abortion and i stated why below. but now she changed her mind and decided she wants to keep it. Or that she id "unsure" what she wants to do. I know this is a typical male response but i have backed up my reasoning below. i just want advise from people on what You would do. We already have an appointment to have the abortion done. SHE MADE IT. She said she would walk out of my life and never see me again. First of all i cant let her walk out of my life cause i do care about her. Second of all this is a bad situation to be in. We arent together, which first of all is unfair to a child. Having mom here and dad there. second we are both so far in finacial trouble its unreal. she is on the verge of going to jail. i dont make very good money. also she barely takes care of her own kid. we lived together for 2 months and the whole time we were there someone else had her kid. she doesnt have the patients to put up with her own kid. that wouldnt be fair to her kid now. she told me herself she regrets having her daughter, so what shes gonna play this "Oh this time will be different shit. Fix the problems with the first one. why would she want a second. also just last week she tried to kill herself. thats real safe. she swallowed a half a bottle of tylanol. thats not good for a baby. I have medical issues that i dont want to pass on to a baby. to me its not even a baby its a fetus. it could be used for stem cell research if we go through with this. thats not my point just one. everyone is different. I didnt say it was right. i said in our situation its the best decision.
There's not much more in there from him.
Just call me "detective" Cotter ... but it really wasn't hard to figure out.
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 7/9/2006 10:07:30 PM | here is my advice..
first let me say this. i have two sons. I was married to their father for 8 years after living with him for two years.
my first came a year after marriage. the second came in year three. they were both planned and i love and cherish them.
I am divorced two years now.
i work 56 hours a week overnights to maintain my $1600.00 a month rent. I am a nurse.
prior to going to nursing school i got pregnant from my then boyfriend. I was not even in nursing school yet. I decided to terminate.
Had i kept the baby, i would not have finished school. and i would be living in the slums of yonkers or mt vernon on welfare.
Im tired in the mornings when i get home but i feel good because im sending my boys off to one of the best school districts in New York.
because i can clothe them and feed them and take them to medical apointments without reservationand get them top notch care.
you have to ask yourself... in two years, how will I support this screaming hungry baby. where will i get milk and diaper money. sure wic will pay for the milk but not the diapers. and sure you can get assistance but your going to have to live in a shitty neighborhood where you might have to avoid broken crack pipes on your way to your shitty waitressing job or crappy job behind the counter at mcdonalds.
those jobs are great while your in highschool. and sure you can even survive on it as long as you live somewhere cheap enough to maintain. buy you probably will have rats, roache and drug addicts as your neighbors. is that any kind of life for your baby...
there is this thing i personally believe in... and thats quality over quantity.
I'd rather have a little bit of an awesome thing rather than a lot of a crappy thing.
basically. personally.... if you don't have any kind of money earning education, how are you going to feed and clothe this baby? who will pay for the phone, electric, heat, and tv?
you? then you better have some kind of paper. Computer teck, lpn, RN, cna, cpa, something.
otherwise your dooming yourself and your child to a very poor and difficult life.
and if you ask the state for aid because you chose to keep it, the state will go after the father weather you want his money or not... the way the laws are going now, he would have to prove he isn't the father to get out of it.
and let me tell you how difficult it is to find a quality man as a single mom with two big boys... they're 8 & 6 and smart asses. not in a really bad way but they are pains in the butt for sure. who is going ot want o get into that?
and
any man you end up living with could be held legally responsible for the child finantially depending on what state your living in..
even if you break up....
think long and hard. my advice would be to split the cost with your boyfriend, and terminate.
if you two stick it out... get married and have babies together someday later. | |
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 5/1/2007 8:19:56 PM | First of all,,,Your body,,,, second of all,,,anyone male can play a part in making a child ,,,baring of course he isn't impotent,,,but it takes a man to be a FATHER.
With that in mind,,,if YOU really want to have this child,,and it sounds like u do,,,and u r confident with ur ability to raise the child, regardless whether he wants to be a part of the childs life or not, By all means please do not give abortion another thought.
On the other hand,,,if u have thought this through,,,and have any doubt at all that ur life will be altered in some way, such as take away from ur club nights or time with ur friends,,,then I would suggest u think about either full term, and have a hand in placing the child with someone who is unfortunate where childbearing is concerned.
in any case,,,GOOD LUCK in ur decision.. | |
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 5/2/2007 1:11:29 PM | Bottomline Wild, you didnt make this child on your own. You should both bring him/her into the world together. But it sounds like he isnt mature enough to realize or agree. Which makes me wonder why he lets it out of his pants to begin with ..
However, you will have to live with the decision for the rest of your life. Dont ask people on the internet to make that kind of a decision for you , or even influence you. Soulsearch , you have the answers you need. | |
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 5/2/2007 1:14:52 PM | And Treeman, do you teach your children that kind of compassion and understanding?
Please think before you speak, she is human and has feelings regardless of where you think her morals should or should not be.
You judged her so quickly, i just hope that when your time comes MORE thought and consideration is given to you
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 5/2/2007 2:57:43 PM | Okay sweetie here's the thing: it's YOUR body, not his. If you don't want to have an abortion, don't! I know it might be a scary thought to raise a child without the father, but you CAN do it. He has a right to an opinion, but you have the ultimate say, because again it's YOUR body. Just remember: he is scared too. Chances are though, that even though he is not enthusiastic about being a father now, he will be when the baby is born. My child's father wanted me to have an abortion as well, but I flat out told him no. That's because it's my belief that abortion is wrong unless there is something cataclysmically wrong with the fetus or if it's going to kill you to have one. Anyways, to make a long story short, he is thrilled to be a father now. We are not together but we are working together to raise this baby as well as we can. And even if he doesn't want to be involved after the baby is born, so what? There are plenty of (decent) men out there who will. Of course the child should have the chance to know his/her biological father, but you cannot make anyone do what they don't want to do.
Read your post. You don't want to have an abortion. Your feelings are clear on that matter. Give life a chance! I did, and I am sooo glad I did! | |
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 5/2/2007 3:17:27 PM | Please, please do not go against your heart or you will NEVER get over it. You feel and know that you should not have an abortion. If you have the abortion you will regret it because it is not what you want to do. I had an abortion under those circumstances and I was broken hearted and sabotaged my life in many ways afterwards from guilt. So many women are forced into abortions and don't get over them. I no being a single parent is really hard but the baby hopefully really will be your blessing. Best wishes to you, and take care.
Barbara | |
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| I need some advice...
Posted: 5/31/2007 10:10:15 AM | well honey i was in your shoes a couple months ago but hey life goes on.. you don't need no man in your life to raise a child. if you have your parents support thats all you need. Abortion will just bring you problems.. day and night you will be thinking that you killed a life.. people may say that it has no feeling but as soon as that little peace of meat starts creating which only takes a couple of days it is a life that feels and can hear.. you know their is support in the usa.. their is child support, housing, food stamps and all this type of help if you don't want to ask him for child support cause you don't want for him to have the baby on the weekends you can do it by your self.. remember you have a little life inside of you.. hope im not to late.. if he is thinking of an abortion he is not mature and he is not going to be responsible.. just let him go his own way.. you don't worry eat right, take your vitamins and enjoy being a mommy.. invite him to be their with you and see the baby when he is born.. trust me kids bring you closer.. i had my baby i called my bf to see if he wanted to be their he sure was me knowing that he had someone else he dumped that girl and came to me to try to form a family maybe he wont react like that but hey it can happend.. just don't worry and don't cry the baby feels everything.. you can do it be strong and god will guide you through the right path..  | |
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