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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/12/2006 2:21:02 PM | The minute I stopped caring and just went with the flow I had some of the best dates of my life, starting almost two years ago when at 40 I dated a 28 year old. We are still very good friends. He's engaged to someone else now, but we'd been broken up for awhile before that so I never felt "left," lol. Much of the reason we broke up was he couldn't handle the vast difference in where we were in life. He was still a student, no money. I was well into my career and loved to pamper him. During our last conversation he said he wished he'd been more mature about all that, and just accepted my babying. I wasn't spending major moolah on him or anything, but I treated him like a man when he was around. A prince, rather!
I'm 42 and my present sweetie is 25. We have completely outlined our expectations and when we are able to get together we have a fantastic time. He's one of the most affectionate men I've ever known.
I've dated some great older guys, too, but lately I seem to meet more younger. And that is okay!
Go for it!
Rap | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 7/22/2006 11:05:15 AM | I have never dated a man over 38, it's because I find the older men (around my age) seem to want younger women. My ex husband was nine years younger and we were together for 16 years, we split up because I wasnt able to have children.
My theory is that you could miss out on something wonderful by being obsessed about age difference. Would you rather be lonely or take a chance for some happiness with someone younger...IMHO. | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/14/2009 9:58:22 AM | Hey, i was in a relationship with someone nine yrs younger than me for 18 months, i wouldn't change a minute of it, we connected on a level that i've never experienced before and it was the happiest time i ve ever spent with someone. That said, it was awful when we broke up, we were friends before the relationship developed, and now i don't see him at all.
Considering how close we became I don't think it would be beneficial to either of us to have stayed 'friends'. Either way, my point is,
 i'm so glad i got over the age thing and we had the relationship, i grew so much in the time we were together, maybe it was timing, maybe it was just what it was, but why hold back if you feel so strongly, lifes too short and you seem smitten with him, you go girl. | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/14/2009 11:10:47 AM | People say all the time that age shouldn't make a difference.........but when it's right there in front of your face.......well.........it honestly does.........
IMO 9-10 yrs can be a huge difference when a woman is 30 and a man 20. But not when a man is 30 and a woman is 40. There are plenty of men in their late 20s and early 30s are mature, successful, stable etc. I would not rule out dating a man who is about my age or a few years older than me. But I feel that I'm generally more compatible with men who are about 5-12 yrs younger than me. | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/14/2009 12:21:27 PM | | Age is a number - if that number is the only thing stopping you, then perhaps it's time to re-evaluate the "no younger men" rule. | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/14/2009 2:14:31 PM | wow 2 whole years.....
For a start dont mention your age. That might embarass him in front of his mates and remind him of his inadequacies.
Let him think he is the boss unless he is the submissive type.
Drop your knickers when it seems the timing is right. That really is all he is interested in at this point but then again it is all you are interested in too so whats the problem.
Dont talk about the future becasue the chances are yours is quite short and yuou are both living for the moment. | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/14/2009 3:01:33 PM |
when we met each other I was dating someone else...we have had the occasional fling from time to time...I have been being pursued by a younger man for about two years now...I have kept this fella at arms length...
Maybe I am misreading the OP...but it seems you are basically stating you are in some sort of FWB situation, and calling it hanging out. Since he's chased you, and shown he's going to stick around, and was patient enough for you to learn about his personality, his relationship with his kid, his humor, and his sexiness you want to go to some sort of "next level?"
It seems more likely that you were using his age as an excuse to keep yourself out of a serious relationship. Transfer responsibility to him and his age rather than face maybe you didn't really want to be in a relationship. Or are scared of commitment and relationships.
But maybe you are feeling you are supposed to be in a relationship. And since this guy seems relatively normal and has been in your life long enough to make it feel normal you are seeking to fulfill the "supposed to be" (social order) with what is easiest.
Of course if any problems or any conflict arises (especially in the beginning of a relationship defining responsibility, risk, and/or commitment) do you think you will go to focusing on his flaws, ultimately using his age as a scapegoat?
How do you go about it?
You mean like saying something similar to "Hey! Want to go hang out at 'X?' But really it's going to be a date."
By doing the whole communication thing and tell him that your hang out, occasional fling, or friendship thing you've got going now isn't working for you anymore and you want to attempt to form a more permanent and less vague relationship?
it's not a plunge I'm quite ready to take yet
So why not wait until you are ready to take the "plunge," and then just behave normally?
Sorry, not much advice or story. And I'm not a woman. Please feel free to ignore me. | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/14/2009 3:15:53 PM | This is interesting. I met a 29 year old guy today for a baesball game who "wants to meet again". I am so waaaay out of the loop on so many things i think it would feel weird no matter how old someone was. But hey I am 37 and he doesnt seem to be that bothered by it. He likes it that I'm already "independent" and self reliant and have been thru many of life's experiences.
Personally my view is to try to go with it and just see what happens like with anyone else. Why not enjoy life? With the younger guys, just keep an eye on how they handle responsibility. If they've "grown up" then their age should have less of an impact.
I made clear though that I'm not in for anything for a "hook up" and that he doesnt have to worry about who or what else anyone is thinking about. Just whatever is cool with him. | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/14/2009 5:42:25 PM | I think it matters really what age group you are in.
If your 30 and hes 21, I'd say theres a bit of difference on the maturity level.
but you profile says your 42 so I'd say a 33 year old man would be (or should be  ) pretty mature.
When i was 25 I dated a 21 year old (not that much difference... plus he lied about his age... twice...) and personally thats what threw me off dating anyone younger. Although I was only 25, the way he acted reminded me of the guys from high school. Only thing i could see getting in your way (if you/he's wanting long term) is children, does he have them or eventually want them????
If you have things in common and you know you get along and there's an attraction, i say why not, really you've got nothing to lose. | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/16/2009 6:29:32 PM | ~OP~ The love of my life was 9 years younger. We didn't ever discuss the age difference. It was just like any other two people who fall in love. Today, I most generally date younger. Generally just a few years, but regardless, still younger. There is no "trick" to it. It's no different than dating someone your own age or older. JMO  | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/16/2009 6:42:24 PM | | It all depends on where you're at emotionally/mentally - also your age and his. My ex husband is ten years younger I was 35 and he was 25 when we met - we were together for 13 years and had an awesome relationship - I am now 49, soon to be divorced and so not ready to settle down - I just want to date - I recently went out with a 25 yr old and am going to meet a 27 yr old tomorrow - It's just a date - i can date younger, because young guys are attracted to me- it's not my "thing" to go after younger men - I would date men my age, but they don't seem to be attracted to me - they want to date younger women - or the men my age that do want to date me, I am not attracted to. With this, I say - do what you want and what feels comfortable - I doubt it very much if I am going to have a long term relationship with anyone under 35 - but I'm pretty comfortable dating younger guys, it's no big deal - it's just a date - and of course he needs to act mature - but a 40 yr old could just as easily act immature, right? | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/16/2009 7:18:04 PM | LOL, since I have joint this site, surprisingly I was getting incridible amount of emails from much younger men. The youngest boy, I should say, LOL, was 18 years old.
The one common thing they say was "age is just number". Of course I sent very polite reply back to them saying... we'll discuss that when they reach my age and they still feel strongly if age is just number along with the comment "I am not a child molester", LOL
Getting older doesn't necessary make people mature however i don't believe age is just number. Older we get, persepectives in life changes... events in our life,various experiences that we dealt with in our adult life.. how about adversities we endured.... I just don't see how 21 years old young man can comprehand our thoughts and needs... until they have their own. Not that it is bad to be 21, :)
Then again, it is all different based on individual's needs, I guess. Besides you stated that how you haven't felt this strong attraction for anyone for a long time, I say go for it.
I would suggest you to think this thru before you jump into anything. Once you come to conclusion that he is worthwhile for you to take chance, then go get it.
YOu did not get to be where you are overnight, you are an adult woman. I wish you the best,  | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/17/2009 3:53:46 AM | I will say, Go for it. It hasn't worked for me, but we gave it 9 years of our lives.
We met when I was 30 and he was just turning 19. We got married 2 years ago and have 2 living children and one little angel.
Sadly we are now divorcing, mainly to wanting different things out of marriage, believe it or not, not cause of his age and him wanting to get out there and enjoy life(he's 27 now) but because he has terrible very old fashioned views on marriage etc and I do also have serious trust issues with him as he broke my trust, but won't go into that detail. lol.
But my view is, you never know unless you try it. Life is seriously too young to hold back. Go for it and if it doesn't work out then least you gave it a try, and not have to say years later 'I wonder if.....'.
Go on, have fun, and see where it leads.
Good Luck | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/17/2009 7:42:16 AM | Don't do it OP I beg you......................LOL.
Seriously you do whatever you like but I wouldn't go there................give me an older, wiser man anytime! | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/17/2009 8:15:03 AM | I always dated guys younger than me. Ended up marrying the one guy that was older than me. And he is the only one that said he had no plans on marrying anyone (he had already been there and done that). Ended up with a great son and a failed marriage. But can't complain, cause in the end things just happen, and in the beginning you don't know how. So, give it ago, you never know. And have a son I could not imagine life without.
More important to find right companion than worry about age. JMO! | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/17/2009 5:36:05 PM | Nine years is nothing. It's better when the woman is a little older especially if she likes to stay in shape and stay young. There is no better aphrodisiac.
I have been with an older man. He is a little over 20 years my senior. We lasted 15 years and it was very wonderful. I ended up leaving because of the age thing two years ago when he was turning 70. I was ready for this apparently...lol.
I was with a younger man 18 years my junior for awhile. It was exciting but in the end the age thing was too much. He wanted to hide me from his parents. I don't blame him...lol.
My guy is three years younger than me and I like that he's younger than me. Age doesn't matter until it does, if you know what I mean.
Nine years is not a big age difference.   | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/17/2009 6:37:05 PM | There is a very strict& complicated protocole:
You go out.
Together.
Then you go out again.
And keep going out for as long as it suits you.
Good grief, girl. You like a guy, go for it. As long as he's younger than your potential father would be, older than your potential child could be, go and have fun! | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/17/2009 8:06:23 PM | | You are 42 and he is 33, that seems like a perfect age difference. Just go for it, and see what happens. Who knows, he could be the one!!! | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/19/2009 3:15:09 PM | | When I was 40 I married a guy age 30 - he was the soul mate I had been looking for - we had 29 wonderful years together before he died. Children were not an option from the beginning - I had two (13 and 19) and he couldn't have any. | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/19/2009 3:58:49 PM | Just enjoy the adventure and make sure that he knows that there are certain things that you need from a relationship, and one of them is maturity......If he can give that to you, take it and run.
OT..........As long as they do not ask you if your son would like a drink, or card him and not you, you are good to go......
I have been dating women older and younger all my life when not married, and I do not see an issue, until you make one up.
Just my opinion.........   | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/19/2009 5:48:28 PM | "How do you Date a Younger Man?"
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Well, first you have to make sure that your false teeth are clean, that your walker is polished and last but not least, adjust your hearing aid! Now you're ready for young d|ck. | |
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| How do you Date a Younger Man?
Posted: 5/20/2009 10:40:49 AM | | Well judging by your post it seems you want to do it but are afraid of what people might think. So....f**k what people think, do what you want. If you're single, hes single, then all is good, go for it. No one wants to wonder what could have been.... | |
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