| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/26/2007 11:09:30 PM |
You will find that many read the ops first post, compsoe their answer based off of that, post and then read the thread. For many it is so that their answers will not be swayed by other posters answers. They also do it so that the thread remains on topic.
You reinforce the very reason for my response.
many read the ops first post, compsoe their answer based off of that, post and then read the thread.
You're saying their answer is finite based on what they read in the first post, but..... If they then read the thread, wouldn't 'they' have then realized this 'situation' was resolved long ago and stopped posting?
For many it is so that their answers will not be swayed by other posters answers.
Including answers that contain facts that may actually change one's opinion? I know this is off topic, I've read the rules here, understand them, agreed with them or I wouldn't be here, and might even loose my posting privileges for writing what I have. My point being, that in a year's span things can change, they did in this case, and very few people picked up on that.
OT I guess this is how I get myself out of the doghouse. By responding to the OP and staying on topic? I'm thrilled that she's out of that situation, hope her story helps others in the future, I sincerely do. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/26/2007 11:12:22 PM | well i can say this i have been used from someone off here and i think they get off our tears. i dont think its fair. they like to hurt us women,they like making us cry. as im sittin here writing this i am in tears as we speak. to me it feels like im never good enough for them. men are mean. my heart is not a toy to when they think they can break and fix it. my advice to you ladies is becareful who you meet or like they can turn on you just as easy as they turn on me. i am a single mom and cant keep doin this. to you men out there us women have feelings and you cant just keep doing these things. its not right.   | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/27/2007 10:32:56 PM | | I too have come out of this type of relationship, and he is now on this site looking for the next "conquer" 4 years and all of them consisted of making me feel inadequate and repulsive to say the least, in my heart I knew it wasn't me but when you get the feeling that your not connecting in the right ways, sex was very poor, he drank too much, and I would feel scared because he has a history of beating on women, of which I experienced a few times once was very bad. Yet he goes on and on, and I am left with an emptiness. I know he never loved me for I know he is unable to love. I am very much a one man woman, and unfortunately not all was bad times, that is what goes through the mind. I would like to find someone deserving of my love. Hope someday that happens it won't be for a long time, my heart has been damaged. I know how you are feeling. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 8:14:34 AM | "to you men out there us women have feelings and you cant just keep doing these things"
We aren't all **stards you know. Maybe you should consider the types of men you are attracted to. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 10:50:53 AM | | Well your pushing 40 yrs old and your overweight. Hes just using you for a stepping stone till he finds better and gets off his feet. Im not trying to be a ***hole im just telling you the truth. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 10:59:35 AM | | *****Well your pushing 40 yrs old and your overweight. Hes just using you for a stepping stone till he finds better and gets off his feet. Im not trying to be a ***hole im just telling you the truth.******* WHAT !!!!!! you are not trying to be an ass hole. With comments like that what exactly are you trying to be?? | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:00:49 AM | Because you do not love yourself, you have not gotten to the point that you know you are worth all the kindness and friendship, you have not allowed yourself to love anyone in your life, or you give up after getting hurt way... way... too many times....
IN stead of finding a man to solve your sexual needs, and your life problems.... Put the effort into yourself and make your career work, your hobbies, and your family... Then out of the blue you will be so happy, you WILL ALLOW A MAN TO BE PART.... TO BE APART!!! OF YOUR LIFE... THERE IS WERE YOU ARE GOING WRONG.......
How do I know this... I learned it the hard way... And ONLY KNOW I have found it to be true...
I have restarted up my Career... I have taken the time to do what I like to do, I have spent time with my family, and I have met a man off this site who is enjoying being a part of my world for once... He has his life and I have mine... we meet in the middle.. it works great | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:13:02 AM | Men use women period because its their nature its their carnal instinct..
They are what most feminists would say "put on this earth for no other reason than to populate the species, and waste air"..
However im not that cold to say that about every male in the world, but im getting close to it. I have been used alot more times than i can count, and everytime it ends the same way either im ignored or literally dropped like a sack of rocks.
Men have no idea how sensitive women are as a whole rather than just as human, I swear men have no feelings other than sexual for anything. I wish that good men would come along for all the good women who deserve love, rather than some prick after sex.. I hate that..
But I guess love has died, and now its just a word.. rather than a feeling.. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:31:56 AM | I am not sure here if anybody is getting it. It seems to me that she knows she is being used....even to the extent that she is probably going to get rid of him soon enough....we all do when the time is right. She is not asking what she should do.... I really think she may have been asking a question....one for which she was attempting to get an answer. I for one would like to hear some feed back from some men to this issue...since it seems that it has happened to a lot of us....women.
Why DO men use a woman? Is there something they see in them that says "Hey, I am a sucker??" Are there just some men who are prone to this behavior...and others who are not? Are do all men do this if they see that they can??? | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:33:08 AM | Well hello there! I can relate I once dated a guy for 3 months...... he also drives a truck to be exact too. We havent seen or talked to each other in 3-4 weeks now. He borrowed money from me & also has my apartment keys.... I havent heard from him in 3-4 weeks so I assume its done between us because that is not a good thing to do if u are in a relationship with someone. Anyways I know how you feel.
Also I feel betrayed when it comes to men taking advantage of me when it comes to sex.
I am giving myself a break to mend my heart over someone that I started to like but me being unable to have kids..... sent him running out the door. Now I am mending my heart and giving myself a break from MEN & DATING & Meeting anyone @ the moment...... | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:47:47 AM | [Men use women period because its their nature its their carnal instinct..
They are what most feminists would say "put on this earth for no other reason than to populate the species, and waste air"..]
Wow Jaded! You're 18 years old. Unbelievable. How can you overgeneralize so far as to say men have no idea how sensitive women are, you are just the same if not worse then they are. (See above comments that you made) If you are 18 and have been used more times than you can count then maybe you should think about adding the word "no" to your vocabulary. I myself don't find it accidentally slipping into girls that I think have no respect for me. But I guess I am just a little more careful with my crotch then some people. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 11:53:24 AM | Thinking the best of somebody who treats us badly is the problem right there.
You are rationalizing.
Rationalizing is the cognitive distortion of the facts, to make a situation, facts or an event less thretening and more livable. (in reality it kills us slowly)
We do this ( some people more then others) to protect our ego, but instead of it helping us it actually makes us stay in very dangerous or unhealthy situations, relationships and so forth, until everything crashes down on us and we cant believe that we put up with all this for so long.
SO dont rationalize! Listen to your feelings!!! You are right!
You dont like the way he treats you and you should not make excuses for him or think he will change..
If you think like this you will always attract that kind of people ( particularely men).
When you start to say no to all the things you dont want in your life and say yes to things, behaviours of people you want, then you will be treated the way you want and deserve.
Yes you let him treat you this way and he does it because you let him. Those people are called leaches, bottomfeeders, users, you name it. He might not even realize it but that doesnt make it ok for him to do it. You cant `make him see the light` if you stay with him.
Cut him loose he doesnt respect you at all, you are not a bad person for leaving him, he is using you and if you stay you are enabling him.
Good luck!!!  | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 12:29:59 PM | Because you allow them to....put your foot down at the first sign and say something. Too often women are too silent when something is wrong and then they dont speak up until it is too late.
Women use men too (money & favors)....Countless times I have had a woman call me, with me thinking that she just wanted to chat for a minute but at the end of the conversation it is "..by the way, I was wondering if you could....." To the ones who seem to me to only call when they want something, I have told them all "Don't call me at all if the only time you are going to do it is if you want something because I never hear from you any other time". That's just plain bullshit. To me, a person like that is fake and not a real friend. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 1:38:43 PM | | I see this happen so much . woman don't want a man to use them . and then they turn around and go for guys that treat them like crap , cheat , lie . I still can not understand WHY a woman would let any man do that ? . ok , I live in wiscosnin BUT even still . I don't cheat , lie , use woman there is a good man in the fox cites of wisconsin . I like the simple things . OK some will say this is a cheap date . to Mcdonalds and then see a movie . or go window shopping . when it comes to sex . that the woman decides when and where not me . | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 1:44:49 PM | A simple answer to why you still like a bloke who treats you like shit.
You're like the vast majority of females out there.
You are illogical, daft, inept and shallow, and don't know what the hell you want out of life.
The only reason you females marry us blokes, is because you don't have a clue about anything!
But, I know deep down that you'll stick with the guy. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 1:58:16 PM | It sounds as if you feel you don't deserve better? You should explore that thought for a bit because if you believe that you will never find someone who will treat you with the respect you desire and deserve. He only hurts you when you allow him to do so. Instead of helping him build his business and being his mommy take all that time and give it to yourself then you'll find exactly whatever it is you want. Plus if you truly care for him you will let him stand on his own two feet. If it works out you'll be a better couple if not it was wrong anyway. Either way change is painful but there no way around it. It’s time!
Rick | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/28/2007 3:49:40 PM | | You have got to grow some pride for yourself and tell that jerk to shit or get off the pot. Tell him that without you he will be miserable and while you are telling him this you should be packing his shit up and throwing it out the door. He is definately using you and i know it hurts right now but you will be ok. I have been used and abused and I have been single for a year and a half but I would rather be alone then settle for some piece of garbage and you deserve better. Tell that basterd to kiss your lilly white ass. Good luck and if you ever want to chit chat come find me. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/29/2007 9:51:44 AM | I know exactly how you feel, been in the same boat myself, in every dilema you decribe. Took me a very long time (4 years in all ) to realise i was just the unpaid housemaid and the bed activity partner. But i'm well out of that rut now and i can say no going back, stalled my own happiness to always be there for him and spare his feelings etc, but its me time from now on. While your thinking the best of him all the time all you are doing to yourself is bringing yourself down and being made to feel worthless as a person in your own right. You deserve better than that huns so i would say move on and find somewho who will respect and fulfill your needs and emotions as you deserve to be treated better than you currently are, leave him to his dating sites he obviously does not know what he wants of who he wants and feels he can get better than you etc, in time he will find he's lost the best thing he ever had and by that time you will not be available.... so its tough on him, should have respected and appreciated what he already had in the first place.
Good luck anyways i hope if you decide to stay with him he bucks his ideas up!! | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/29/2007 10:07:40 AM | | you just did not find the right man thats all and i think you are being to good to him he is not the right man for you he flirts on you on the computer he will always do it to you he is just using you just dump him sweetheart you will find better don't worry xoxoxo | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/29/2007 2:04:22 PM | Cause they can??? Being "kind and generous" is very noble... being a doormat is not.
Advice?? Kick him out and use better judgement next time your considering letting someone you've dated "five months" move in and take advantage of you....
'just' sayin.... | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 4/30/2007 8:50:10 AM | Its because your kind, generous and loving. Nothing wrong with that but yes there are some slime out there who will take advantage of that. Dont ever stop being kind loving and generous to yourself and dump those who take advantage of others. He will continue and in the long term more likely have affairs as he is already being psychologically and emotionally abusive.
Be kind to yourself | |
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| Moving ahead and on to new adventures!
Posted: 5/4/2007 6:21:36 PM | Thank you so much Diane for seeing the real question!!!!!!!!!!! I know what WAS going on and why but the question is . . . .
Why DO men use a woman? Is there something they see in them that says "Hey, I am a sucker??" Are there just some men who are prone to this behavior...and others who are not? Are do all men do this if they see that they can??? | |
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| Your Rude
Posted: 5/4/2007 6:25:06 PM | Denver,
Being a business owner I would think that you would have some constructive advise to give. Your advise shows how young and unbelievably uncaring you are! You can give advise and your views without being cruel. You sound like the kind of guy we are here talking about.  | |
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| Moving On
Posted: 5/4/2007 6:26:25 PM | Pebbles I wish you the best of luck in your new life and moving on, thanks for sharing. | |
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