| | Why do men use me??Page 13 of 16 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16) | Heres the the thing- people only get away with what you allow them to get away with. Enter the relationship from the aspect of dropping hints on what you expect from anyone important in your life. Through your non verbal reaction to everythign as well as how you relate to your dates and in some cases even saying what your expecting out of relationships you tend to fair better then hoping to get it. If you always do what you have always done, then you will continue to get the same crap as before. Hoping and praying that you get someone who is the "good guy" type ain't happening unless you take further involvement in the process by examining yourself and realizing what your looking for and ensuring that you get what your after! I am a guy, and I am seeing this as a vicious cycle that must be broken. Unfortunately all of this garbage that we all deal with from time to time happens on both sides of the sexes. You will eventually always find people who enjoy using the other for whatever they can, its our very nature (And I mean humans not men), sadly...
Unfortunately yet again some of my girlfriends have continually relayed stories of how they just couldn't leave their unhealthy relationships. I believe that we are all attracted to various things about the opposite sex that can not be thoroughly describe or quantified. And that more importantly being attracted to someone is not something youc an decide to be or not be. The trick comes in when you logically recognize problems in relationships, the emotional side of our brains say ...but I'm attracted and stand in the way of the logical brains attempt at evicting someone from your life.
Anyway just my viewpoints- Best of luck. Break the cycle. Find yourself a charming, confident, attractive man that ignites attraction in you and knows what you respond to. It isn't enough knowing what people's interests are, you have to know what they will react to.
Enjoy everything and anything wherever that may lead you!  | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 8/5/2007 6:22:55 PM | thank uou so much for your mail .you are right and .he is gone so thanks all concerned
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 8/5/2007 7:21:18 PM | UPDATE: This guy I originally posted about has been gone for over a year now. I have not had a serious relationship since because I am taking time enjoying my career and building my confidence and trust up. Which is much better than it was two years ago. Thanks all for your support and advice, I sure these post have helped others too. It is nice also to be reminded through your post that I am not the only one it happens to many of us.
Thanks | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 8/6/2007 8:31:56 AM | Do you just have DOORMAT tattooed across your forehead?
Lose the loser. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 8/6/2007 8:45:14 AM | | Good for you! I think it's great to take an extended amount of "ME" time, and not have to focus on anyone else for a while. It gives you a much clearer picture of what you will and won't put up with next time you decide to drop a line in the pond! | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 10/28/2007 2:45:55 PM | | Good for your Liteinside....I hope life is treating you well. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/5/2008 8:04:08 AM | well i like your comment,, we teach people how to treat us,,, like you i was a door mat too, yet i still love her,,, whats up with that?
anyway good luck | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:20:59 PM | | They use u because u enable them to. Don't enable them! | |
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TrinB
| | Joined: 4/27/2008
Msg: 309 | |
| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:26:00 PM | kick him out......see how long that sh*t lasts then | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:57:21 PM | Being kind and generous is one thing. But, this guy youre talking about is at a whole different level and taking pure advantage of you AND your kindness!
Tell him to get out and be a REAL MAN and stand on his own two feet.
Theres nothing "wrong" with YOU. You NEED to think with your head and NOT your heart.
Like the saying goes- "ya cant buy love."
Its true.
Do you NOT think more highly of yourself to know you DESERVE better? | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 5:22:22 PM | I know from personal experience, it's hard when you try to believe the best of someone.
But using your computer to check out who wants him on dating sites?
Painful as it is, he is just using you till he finds someone else to put up with him.
Get out now, cut your loses and let yourself open to meeting someone better.
Hang in there, there is someone better out there that willl want you, not the dream of someone esle better on a dating site (that would probably want nothing to do with the jerk after she got to know him, lol). | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 5:24:20 PM | | First because that's the type of man you go for and second because you let them. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 5:25:00 PM | reply to "umightlike me"
if you still love her why are you on this site instead of working it out with her? | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 5:26:38 PM | liteinside, it's o.k. to be good and giving but you have to pay attention to the signs that tell you there is only one person emotionally involved here. And obviously, you DO see the signs. Unfortunately, it takes some of us longer to realize it and nip it in the bud. You have to take care of yourself and build your self confidence.
So get out now or you will end up broken hearted with empty pockets....but maybe a little Wiser. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 5:31:29 PM | | I think the first question a shrink would ask is why do YOU choose mean who are like that? (you used the plural "men") Why are THEY the ones you are attracted to and who get your nod? It may well be a *learned* behavior. Most of what we consistently do wrong is learned behavior. (Who did you learn it from?) When did that behavior begin? When was the first time you realized "men use you?" (actually they ABUSE you). Did it begin in HS or later? Who do you see ion the mirror? (an abused woman?) Is that something new? Or is that who you always saw? Were your mother and father in that kind of a relationship? Are you punishing yourself for some reason? Do you have any insurance for counseling? It could be worth it. In any case being abused is not a normal way of being. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 5:38:42 PM | >>snip>> because that is the type you go for>>>> by steel phoenix:
No, I don't think that is the type the OP goes for or she would not have been posting for advice/affirmation by posting her reaction here. Everyone gets burned sometime in their love life sometime, unless THEY are the one doing the burning and using.
**** YOU steel phoenix, I can tell which category you belong to from that statement and to that cold hearted and user thinking, I repeat **** YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just because someone tries to think the best of someone and gives them a chance UNTIL they prove differently, leaving themselves open to hurt in chance of a better love, **** you.
Nothing ventured, nothing lost, but if you don't try you can't complain about being alone.
**** YOU, steel phoenix for thinking that she only wants to be treated like shit when she opens herself and gets nothing better for her efforts!
NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT IS WHAT SHE WANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK you and your cold heart steel phoenix.
And quit being so quick to condemn someone who gives a cold hearted person like you a chance.
Did you always want what you got out of life and love?????? And if you did, I really feel sorry for you. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 5:50:00 PM | | People only do what you allow them to do, its your choice to let him use you...move on in life , let someone else be used. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 6:02:53 PM | | this thread is actually the first one that I don't want to make a comment on.........unbelievably pathetic. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 6:08:16 PM | FFFFUUUUUCCCCKKKK you and your cold heart steel phoenix.
And you can go to blazes you worthless ho.
UP YOURS | |
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keng71
| | Joined: 3/27/2007
Msg: 320 | |
| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 6:18:21 PM | | the answer is you let him. Funny a guy says this and a woman corrects him telling him he's wrong lol...typical :) He's busy starting a business and probably feels like he does not have time and he will continue until you branch out, if he does not miss you then he's just not that into you otherwis he will try and make time for you. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 6:20:45 PM | holy crap I'm in the middle of a scrap here.....wow....The subject of the thread is:
Why do men use me? The OP went on to answer her own question, I don't see where the great debate here is at all.
TO STEEL PHOENIX: I don't think you deserved that big F.U. from that person either. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 6:32:33 PM | "holy crap I'm in the middle of a scrap here.....wow....The subject of the thread is:
Why do men use me? The OP went on to answer her own question, I don't see where the great debate here is at all.
TO STEEL PHOENIX: I don't think you deserved that big F.U. from that person either. "
Thanks. Actually I think it's pretty funny. I must have struck a nerve.  | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 6:43:32 PM | Maybe because your just not that smart, it's pretty obvious he is using you, maybe your desperate, maybe your using him because you think you can't get someone better.
that pretty much solves that rediculous problem "next" | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 6:54:59 PM | | Because he can do it..that plain and simple..you let him he does it..I was recently lied to deeply by some one..this guy had the nerve to tell me he was dying and cried and played it to the max and when I found out he was lying and asked him why..he simply said..becauase he could..we let them do us this way..but I say no more..we are better than this that we are getting so you go girl and kick his butt to the curb! | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 7:11:11 PM | ^^TO Louanne63: Pretended he was dying!!?? Geesus, that's horrible for you; most people wouldn't even suspect that someone is lying when they say they're dying... that's one of the lowest ones I've heard yet...didn't you just want to stick a fireplace poker into his eyes...what a weirdo.
and again TO Steel Phoenix: I actually did laugh when I read the 'worthless Ho' and Up Your's part..:) | |
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