| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/8/2006 10:27:01 PM | | Agree 100%....cut your losses....true you will hurt over it, but hurt more that he is using and cheating on you, guys or girls....treat people the way they treat you and you will get respect. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/8/2006 11:39:27 PM | You're off base if you're looking for the reason why people do what they do... they all have their reasons... your focus should be on what you will or won't accept for yourself.
If you define your values and abide by them, you'll walk away or kick-out those who would do you ill. You can't control others, and you apparently can't control yourself either...
Unless you enjoy the treatment your getting and are only seeking pity and empathy...
like so many others...
can i use you to help build my business... | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/8/2006 11:40:52 PM | Well sweetheart your thread answered your own question but we women must begin to realise that it's ok to tell a guy he's full of poo and to prove what he is what he says he is.
You r gorgeous and don't need jackasses like that around you. It's hard to get rid when they are installed in your home and I know I would leave his removal to my big brothers - after marching his sorry ass to the ATM and collecting back rent. Shame u not in UK would sort it 4 u lol. Good luck on that one babe.
Many of us get guilt tripped about questioning our men and we should not. We always disclose kids without question and many men do not. They are strangers with friendship potential and such be developed as such. If you are afraid to ask any question at all, they shouldn't be in your house because your house is your inner sanctum where you should be free to express yourself in anyway you please.
In most cases we allow men access into our lives, homes, families and extended friends. This access is rarely given by men so many relationships begin one sided, with the female giving and not getting anything but screwed in every sense by the male.
Also, what's the deal with letting a man (or anyone for that matter) move in after knowing them for only 5 months or so. Your home is your castle that you built from nothing and not a base for his convenience. Then on top you let him make you feel responsible because he wants to build HIS business from your home, using your credit? These kind of men have families that know they are spongers and that's why you don't get to meet them for fear of you finding out the truth.
When it comes to children, any man that would move into your home after meeting you for a few months is no man at all & to me it would translate that neither adult is aware of the change in family dynamics with the new "infiltrator" on board.
Finally:
Ladies before letting any man into your lives and homes consider the points below:
If a man can hide his family from you, he can always hide you from his family (and wife?).
Would you let a lodger live in your house without satisfactory credentials and a solid agreement for rent and other bills?
Would you drive a car without the relevant documents and feel happy?
Would you let your child be taught or walk to school with a complete stranger?
Would you give your bank and finance details to someone you barely know?
You can proudly say that he knows everything about you, do have equal information about him?
We should all try this one: Keep the bachelorette pad and move into his home rent free, screww him senseless 2 keep him happy and when he nags too much, empty his fridge then back to your pad till he gets straight | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 5:48:30 AM | I want to thank everyone for their input. Yes, I do already know the answer and am thankful for the internet and the advise of others to give me the courage to do what I know I should have done a long time ago. But today is not to late and it is time to take out the trash and go fishing! Thank you again, your input was very helpful and the support I needed. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 5:52:46 AM | | ofcourse you may use the motto, I got it from the internet somewhere. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 6:38:47 AM | I read ur responce and thought of a true story that i heard. Well i am from South Africa and umm there was this health care worker that worked with the black people. He handed out condoms 2 prevent the spread of aids.Well he was walking around in the nighbourhood he was working in and said that he knows the black people r using the condoms, cuz he saw them washing it and hanging it on the clothes line and then reusing it.
That is kinda what some guys do right the reuse u untill they can't get anything out of u anymore or untill they r bored and then they just up and leave.Well i would leave his ass first before it got that far.
This was the 1st time i've ever posted something on here | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 8:41:33 AM | | I appreciate your thoughts and comments. Great story too! Thanks I am feeling better and stronger, infact I am cleaning house top to bottom so that when he comes in tonight I can clean him up by booting him out! It's my turn to rinse out condoms!! | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 9:36:46 AM | | ITS TRUE ABOUT US TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US. DONT TOLERATE THAT BEHAVIOR,AND U WONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS AGAIN. YOU STILL LET HIM STAY THERE AFTER U SAW HIM ON DATE LINES? ARENT U ON DATE LINE NOW AS WELL? BOTTOM LINE:IF HES THE "ONE", YOU WONT HAVE TO WORK SO HARD TO GAIN HIS LOVE AND ATTENTION. YOU,WE, ALL DESERVE TO BE TREATED RIGHT.YOU ACCEPT THIS, SO WHY WOULD HE STOP? ITS HARD AFTER BEIN TOGETHER SO LONG, BUT GET RID OF HIS USIN ASS! GOOD LUCK TO YA. OH YEA, THE MONEY TRAIN, NEEDS TO STOP ALSO. LET HIM GET A JOB AND TAKE CARE OF YOU!!!!! | |
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| short answer
Posted: 5/9/2006 9:42:34 AM | | hi in repsonse to your question men use you because you let them and they know you are a soft touch. its them who have the problem not you, you seem like a kind, caring and considerate women and this is what men pick up on and use to their advantage. i hope you can learn to be more assertive in the future and see men like this for what they really are, which is unprintable, and send them on their sad little way you deserve better. | |
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| short answer
Posted: 5/9/2006 9:50:58 AM |
said that he knows the black people r using the condoms, cuz he saw them washing it and hanging it on the clothes line and then reusing it.
So he actually watched them reusing it, I mean reusing them..
 | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 9:59:10 AM | Lite,
Like me, you are too kind and generous. Unfortunately, we need to see the red flags earlier and need to learn how to do this. There is a way, trust me that I use to weed out users in about two or three conversations. Dump this guy fast... If you want to know my secret, just ask.
S | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 10:05:37 AM | Liteinside~I am so glad that you have seen your own answers here. Sweetheart you deserve so much better than this leech that has attached himself to you. Most men if they were in a relationship with you would be proud to take you out on the town and show you off. Most men would be proud that you want to take care of them the way you have with this one.
Hopefully you have put the garbage to the road and are on your way to finding someone who "DESERVES" you........ | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 10:18:46 AM | | First of all i have to ask,what is it about this guy that is so special?You seem to be interested in having the man regardless of his character.What attracted you to this man?What makes you like this man?It may be that in your attempt to be in a relationship you have forgotten to look for the right man.So to me there is a simple solution to this dilemma.Dump him,u can do better than someone that just takes u for granted.There are many people out there looking for someone kind and generous and from what i see very affectionate. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 10:20:26 AM | | you need a real man to show you how to bee treated... | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 10:23:22 AM | my my how some guys get all the luck just once i like to find a women to take care of me just maybe for two weeks you know?? just to see how it feels heck ill get bore after two weeks i just want to see how it feels ill clean house while im there..........ahhhhhh just kidding hey hon im getting bore | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 10:31:02 AM | | u r thinking with your heart and not your head. dumped that jerk now!!!! get someone who respects u and doesn't reject u. there r plenty of great guys with class out there trust me, i know. i wouldn't doubt it if he dumps u after he has gotten himself stable. i have seen that happen to women before that i know. I would definetely find a guy that is willing to work together and help one another out during the good and the bad. like i said, they r out there. i would join a walking,jogging or blading group etc.. to meet a nice single guy. anyway,good luck | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 11:14:28 AM | Again I am amazed at the support from this post. There has been some great advise and I have had a few laughs along the way too. Must admit this was my first thread and you have boosted my self esteem, courage and trust within myself. Cheers to you my dear thread friends.  | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 11:16:26 AM | catschu,
great name by the way, so tell me what is your secret??? | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 11:35:31 AM | I know this is going to sound redundant after all the other posts, but you have taught him that you are willing to accept any crap he can dish out and more. From what you have written about him I translate as "I found the perfect man! He's everything I want, now I just have to figure out how to change everything about him..."
Relationships require both people to be sybiotic and working towards making life better for each other. Your relationship is parasitic - he is a parasite feeding off of you. He grows stronger while you weaken and once you are a hollow shell unable to provide for his needs, he will find another "host" to feed off of. Don't worry about him, save yourself. Remove him from you're life and move forward. Is it easy? Hell no!?!?!! It will be tough! But it won't be nearly as hard as it is to stay with him and have the life sucked out of you. Take care of yourself and let the seflish SOB find someone else. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 11:42:11 AM | there are some people out there just looking for a meal ticket. you do something nice for them. instead of them feeling grateful, wanting to recipricate or at least get up and stand on their own. they are waiting for your next good deed for you to pass to them. (this loathsome creature is not depicted by gender) if i could have one type of person eliminated from the planet it would be them. i am more than willing to help someone down on their luck. but after so many excused about how their own SELF-CREATED hell they call life. i realize this person does not want to try to better themself, -they think they are owed something from everyone who has sweated to grasp the will to survive.
you need to take a look at your life. and see where your kind and charitable contributions to this persons, turned into slavery. -kick his ass out, and move on. dont stop being nice to people in need. but know when to say when. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 11:42:58 AM | | mmmm lets see??? this guy has a molly maid\sex maid\free apt\no rent\sew\cook\clean blow job wowow the guy has it made, for crying out loud lady dont you think you are old enough to know a loser, it your fault, hey why pay rent and hire a maid when you got the milk for free, big pimpin style. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 12:12:53 PM | Its good to see you are going to boot him out. I look forward to the next post of yours telling us how it went. Just be strong. He will probably try some sob story or try buying you off with a dinner. dont worry about cleaning the place. Just pack up his stuff. Tell him to go and make sure you get the house keys back. I would even suggest changing the locks just incase he made a copy. just before he gets home put his crap outside the door with a note saying get the hell out of your life. Dont bother staying in touch with this loser. Dont listen to him asking for another chance or telling you that he will change. He wont. He is too far gone. Your life and your time are worth far more than and you shouldnt waste a second listening to him. Get him out! Good luck! | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 12:56:49 PM | | Justjazz I couldn't have said it better myself... The guy mooching off her is definately NOT a MAN. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 1:07:21 PM | | I am a true believer in you teach people how to treat you. Sounds like you don't have enough self worth to decide that you deserve better and that he has crossed a boundary that is unexeptable. You need to set some boundaries girl and stick to them, cause you're worth it. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 5/9/2006 1:15:26 PM | | Let me say this, in a relationship, if you're giving a hundred percent and your partner is not, or will not, bale out. He or she is NOT a partner, but a taker. Life is way to short to not be living it to the fullest. It does not have to be costly money wise. It cost nothing to go to the beach, parks, etc. Going to a quiet small out of the way spot, with your partner, with flowers you picked up at a local grocery, cost close to nothing in terms of money, not much brain power either. If your partner is not doing lifes smallest, cheapest things, the more costly, time consuming, planned outing will never come. You sound like such a prize to allow yourself to go this route. You won't get run over if you don't lie down. | |
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