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Tarika
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Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 102 | |
| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 4:06:27 PM | Because you obviously allow him to use you. If you feel used, you alone are responsible for your feelings. Do something about it if you don't like it.
Good luck | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 4:22:20 PM | You are not being quote "Kind & Generous". You have made yourself a doormat and he is walking all over you and not about to stop. Next one?
Sounds like your self esteem could use some major help to have done this to ingratiate yourself to him. Professional counselling can teach you what in your past perhaps left you vulnerable to him & others like him. If I were you I would want to learn so the future partners would be emotionally healthier.
WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US.
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 4:43:19 PM | because you let them...you put a big signe on your forhead that says...i'll do anything to have a man. the funny thing is you believe you need a man to feel safe and have someone there for you....sound like the only one gettin what they want is the guy...if your strong enough to do all this stuff for men...do it for yourself and look for a man that will take care of himself....what your doing is the job of a wife...and a verry lenient one at that. you shouldn't be taking care of some one else five months into a relationship...you should be enjoying life and eachother and doing goofy things todeather....not playing house right out of the gate...
be proud of yourself and remember...you can't start a relationship from the end... | |
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uxe1
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Joined: 1/26/2007
Msg: 107 | |
| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 4:46:08 PM | Seriously, this guy's got his problems, but meerly tossing him out (and toss him you should) wont do you any good. you have been letting him walk allover you. you ned to look at why your such a doormat? Are you a little insicure? Your post drips of pleading for affection, "WHy Would some one want to do this to me" he dosent really want to do any thing to you, your a verry handy apliance to have around for him. You clean and feed him. and im sure you listen intently to his dull stories about what a crap week he had, and his ***hole supervisor bla bla bla. giving himm all sorts of reasons to want to keep hanging around, BUT your not giving him any reason to treet you good, after all the glaring insicuritys shows that you wouldent try to find some one else, so hes safe. what you need to do is decide you are the one living your life. get your self in to some things that you can be proud of. (even if it just remembering to do your exersises every day). start standing up for your self, dont take crap from people. im not saying you cant be nice, but if some one isent returning your kindness, there the wrong kind to be spending it on. ill bet if you started feeling good about yourself you wouldent even need to toss him out, he would get sick of it and find another doormat to wipe his feet on.
and just a side line , your on a singuls site as well , so its obvious that NEITHER of you are really satisfyed withthis arangement, so move on withyour life) | |
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lorie1
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Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 108 | |
| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 4:50:56 PM | You say he is looking at dating sites,and this is a dating site You are on.Who cares whose computer is being used? You are both using each other,and humans are more important than objects,untill we tell others how to treat us,as if we are objects of scorn or ridicule.
I think that untill you can really "clean"house,it ought to be for you.
Youre on a dating site. So is he.Dont waste time taking his inventory,you have your own to account for.Sounds like the both of you are "playing"house....
I am not very sorry to sound blunt,but the both of you sound like you deserve each other,only you are the one financially being accountable for all this nonsense.Sorry,neither of you win my sympathy,just my profound disgust at the attention seeking from others here online,when you ought to be paying attention to your own life. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 5:15:32 PM | Obviously, you know that there is a major problem with your whole situation. So, you really don't need us to give you advise for you have answered your own question. The way your partner is treating is hurting you....so, if you can't fix it than its time to move on and let this fish go.He seems to ONLY want/ TAKE and give you nothing ...relationships are give and take on both sides.
Believe me girl, there are many sweet fish out here just waiting for a woman like you. DOn't settle for anything less than someone that will provide respect and honestly. Men and women desire it......but watch it there are so selfish people out there.
Good luck with everything ! Get rid of him :) | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 5:39:57 PM | | The dude will treat you the way you allow him to... drop his sorry butt and move on. Look at yourself and realize you are worth far more than that! | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 6:26:38 PM | Wow, your as handy as a pocket on a shirt...
He's living WITH you?! Yeah, he's got your number..Your Willing to tolerate it..
I surely wouldn't be doing the Feeding, F***ing and doing Laundry for a piece, like this. However your responsible. How long have you known? Why haven't you already ended this? Is he supporting you and the household? Are you afraid to be alone?
Best Wishes.. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 6:31:04 PM | | IT is obvious that he is so busy trying to save the planet. He is a vissionary giving sad women good loving advice. | |
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CJ3000
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Joined: 1/20/2007
Msg: 113 | |
| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 6:45:47 PM | WANT TO HELP!!!!
LISTEN IM GOING TO GET RIGHT TO THE POINT. MEN USE YOU, BECAUSE YOU ALLOW THEM TOO. PEOPLE AND AND WOMEN WITH TEST YOU LIKE CHILDREN AND IF YOU LIKE THEM GET AWAY WITH IT, IT WILL NOT GET ANY BETTER. THERE IS KNOW HOPE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE ONCE A ASS ALWAYS A ASS. REM... IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOU FALL DOWN OR GET KNOCK DOWN GET UP AND KEEP GOING. TAKE CARE | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/6/2007 6:49:40 PM | | Just ask him to a concert or something. Don't wait for him to do it. Some people are content with the old ways of doing things and need some help to change | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/7/2007 8:53:51 AM | So the overwhelming concensus here is that you let him do it.
No, it doesn't make it right. You don't have healthy boundaries and it's obvious when you let men walk over you.
Learn to have boundaries and it won't happen anymore. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/7/2007 9:08:57 AM | | As a father to 4 daughters, I always wondered what my daughters were thinking when they chose to go out with all the users and losers. I always asked them the question....WHERE DO YOU FIND THESE GUYS? | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/7/2007 9:10:13 AM | HEY GIRL,.. Pack his bags, throw 'em out the door, CHANGE ALL YOUR LOCKS, .. & Hey Presto!!! ... You have your life & dignity back to start over again with ALL these answers to help guide you away from the next FREELOADER you might find, ... GOOD LUCK,  | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/7/2007 2:16:23 PM | DEAR FRIEND,
when seeking out men you must check to see if he can stand on his own. in todays society most men want their women to be their mothers. a real man will never lay up under a woman and if she lets him its her fault. you must have confidence in yourself and settle for nothng but the best for yourself. if you are looking for someone to blame you only need to look in a mirror.
"IT CAN'T RAIN ALL THE TIME!" | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/7/2007 3:05:08 PM | | It is so sad that so many men AND women have to go on dating sites and flirt with other women when they have someone. What I would give to have someone special in my life but this crap has to go. If I ever find my special someone I would be off these dating sites so fast if would make your head spin. The first time I caught him on a dating site flirting would be it for me. I would not tolerate that at all. You need to move on. | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/7/2007 7:55:06 PM | HI Its me again..you wrote my story by the way but he was too dumb to go on website to find the next caregiver ,of his sorry ass!! he was a truck driver also!! I LOVed what HDPYLOT said NEVER MAKE SOMEONE A PRIORITY | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/7/2007 11:29:19 PM | Why was this thread pulled back up to address the original OP? She received closure back on page 3 and folks are still ranting about her situation.
If it had been pulled up in a search to address another poster's situation, that would make more sense. Ya know.  | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/7/2007 11:38:21 PM | If he is not taking you out then there is a problem. I had a similar situation and he wouldn't take me out or to meet his friends and I just started getting a complex about myself. I finally came to my senses and broke it off because it really did start affecting my self esteem....I would always think what is wrong with me. So kick him on his ways before he really does some damage.
Best of Luck! | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/7/2007 11:48:40 PM | | Plain and simple, he's selfish. And if he's got it good - you doing everything for him and still letting him get away with murder (the dating sites, etc) - why give up a good thing? I've recently been abused similarly by a guy - he lied to me and cheated on me (with the wife I didn't know he had) and still I find myself loving him (and hating his guts at the same time). I've always been a very logical, level-headed girl so it blows my mind that my heart refuses to respond to the logic that he doesn't deserve me and I can do better. Bottom line - do you believe you deserve better? Do you believe you deserve to be loved the way you love - with your whole heart? With actions, not just words? Maybe you need to learn to love and respect yourself more so that you can find the strength to kick him to the curb? Or maybe you just need a reality check that you can't change another person or wish them into being the way you want them to be. See him for who he is and decide if that's what is best for you, your life, and your heart. Just a thought. Good luck to you! :) | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/8/2007 12:14:29 AM | I think we all have been used in some way or other.......some see it,some choose to ignore it ,some feel they don't deserve anything better.
I know I was in a relationship like that....But one morning I woke up and the first thing out of my mouth was quote"I want u gone and don't let the screen door catch on the ass on the way out" U give and give till u have nothing left inside for U and U will know when it is the right time for U. U deserve better........I wish u luck and my thoughts are with u.
MsO.
PS :
Ladies :that say U let him,kick him out .STOP and think about THAT someone in your past life that treated u as this lady ......it's not that easy !!!!! ..and i am sure everyone of us has someone like that in our history. GIVE HER SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT AND THE STRENGTH TO MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICES FOR HERSELF..........LOVE IS TOUGH... | |
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| Why do men use me??
Posted: 2/8/2007 2:01:32 AM | | wake up youre letting them. not one thing is wrong with you maybe your choice in men they make hard for the rest of good guys you need to toss the guy out and find another but be a little more picky there are plenty of gentmen who would ask you out,i wood kick the guy out i dont know what to say that is what i would do good luck and god bless jim | |
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I don't unedrstand why I can't find the right woman. I'm nice I'm polite and yes I can be a tatal ass hole at times too.
