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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?      Home login  
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 Rentier
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 51
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Depends on what is meant by "dating". I certainly wouldn't sleep with more than one woman.
 wpg_chick_84
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 52
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 6/21/2006 11:45:16 AM
As long as all persons involved in the relationship know it's not an exclusive thing and don't have a problem with it, dating multiple people is perfectly acceptable. When one person decided they have a problem with their partner dating other people they should let it be known so the partner can decide where they want to go with the relationship, whether it be ending the other ones or being exclusive with that person. Also, if you make it clear that you are seeing other people, you should tell your partner they are free to do so as well. If them seeing other people bothers you, then perhaps you shouldn't be doing it.
 milliprella
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 53
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 6/21/2006 5:09:39 PM
until theres a ring on your finger, you owe it to yourself to sample as many goodies as you an
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 54
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 6/21/2006 5:29:14 PM
looks like i agree with most of the threads posted here, ok to date more than one, as long as you are honest about it, and currently not serious or sleeping with anyone else. once you get serious with someone, -you should break it off with the others.
 blinkvictoria
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 55
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 6/30/2006 5:13:59 PM
I agree with the guy before me verbatim, and also want to add that if they're still on the website, that entitles me the same rights and responsibilities.
 tberry49
Joined: 4/11/2006
Msg: 56
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 6/30/2006 8:42:13 PM
It should be alright to date more than one person, as long as u keep it honest and sex isn't involved. Dating is a way to get to know a person better. Eventually u will lean towards the one u feel more chemistry with than the others. Just make sure u let the others down gently after making that choice.
 peifireandice
Joined: 11/26/2005
Msg: 57
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/20/2006 3:38:50 PM
Agreed. Dating more than one person is confusing and it doesn't give you time to get to know people. If you meet a person and feel there is potential there for a relationship then I think it is only fair to be exclusive with that person. I'm not saying dating more than one person at a time is a bad thing...just not my thing...if you are doing that the key is to be honest about it.
 Lahmia
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 58
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/20/2006 7:28:32 PM
No its not acceptable. Its cheating.
 Hibiscusflower79
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 59
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/23/2006 1:26:49 PM
I think it is completely acceptable with a few limits: the first being that I am always honest about it. i would expect the same courtesy. I mean the guy does not need to know anything other than that you are "playing the field". The other stipulation is I never sleep with more that one guy at a time! Casual dating is one thing, but I am not into having casual sex. Those are just my opinions on it :)
 Samarama
Joined: 8/23/2006
Msg: 60
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/23/2006 3:49:04 PM
hibiscus flower's all over it. I totally agree

(+ hibiscus is a good source of Vitamin C...drink it in tea when you're sick.)

-Sam
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 61
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/23/2006 4:48:07 PM

looks like i agree with most of the threads posted here, ok to date more than one, as long as you are honest about it, and currently not serious or sleeping with anyone else. once you get serious with someone, -you should break it off with the others.


That's right on the money.
 1fixitman
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 62
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/23/2006 5:00:46 PM
Date as many as you can. It shows that you have options. You don't need to flaunt the fact that you are doing it or hide it. When you become exclusive with someone or you just feel like it is time to move on with only one then tell all the others that you have someone that you want to be exclusive with.
D Rock
 gentalltheway
Joined: 9/9/2006
Msg: 63
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/23/2006 5:58:01 PM

looks like i agree with most of the threads posted here, ok to date more than one, as long as you are honest about it, and currently not serious or sleeping with anyone else. once you get serious with someone, -you should break it off with the others.


I believe that most would agree with you but the thing here is that the serial daters will not be honest about it as they will not be able to mass date in the first place if they were. If a woman tells me that she dates many at the same time, I will wish her good luck and move on. The reason? Simply because mass dating people just can't stop. I have known many in the past (10 to 15 years ago) that needed to mass date and they still do today. Their only problem is that they got older in the case of the women not that pretty anymore therefore mass dating is getting more complicated. Most of them are still alone today.
 PetiteBrunette32
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 64
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 1:32:14 AM
I agree you should be able to date more than one person at at time. The emphasis on dating.
What if the guy you have been seeing wants to still be friends with a girl he met at the same party as you and had sex with the week before your first real date? He says it was just a friends with benefits arrangement but he changed his mind about wanting a girlfriend and now wants a real relationship with you? Should they be "allowed" to keep these people as friends or was it cheating?

This is the situation I am in at the moment and I tend to think that he wanted his cake and ate it too and will never be able to have a serious relationship if he can't choose one person to date.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 65
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 4:25:08 AM
I agree you should be able to date more than one person at at time.

That's why you're in the situation you're in. Dating means having sex for all practical purposes. The days of courting a woman for months before kissing her have long since passed.

What if the guy you have been seeing wants to still be friends with a girl he met at the same party as you and had sex with the week before your first real date? He says it was just a friends with benefits arrangement but he changed his mind about wanting a girlfriend and now wants a real relationship with you?

Too bad. A woman in such a position would have to make a choice - keep the guy she had sex with as a friend or have a relationship with me that is more than another fwb with no other option for the future. It's her choice and I'm not going to try to talk her into anything nor be open to discussing it. The only option I gave a woman who wanted to date multiple guys at once or remain friends with guys she slept with was to be just one more guy she slept with and have sex with her until I met someone who shared my views on relationship. At that point, my sex buddy would be history and out of the picture.


This is the situation I am in at the moment and I tend to think that he wanted his cake and ate it too and will never be able to have a serious relationship if he can't choose one person to date.

I would have never gotten involved with someone to the extent that your situation would have ever come up. If you don't like your situation, leave and find someone else.
 mz taken
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 66
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 5:34:38 AM
PetiteBrunette^^^

"the emphasis on dating"
many here will read your words and take them to mean one of two things: "dating" is just that as in meeting for a social outing that doesn't automatically include sexual relations, but might include some sense of romantic interaction (kiss, hand holding, whatever) with your drawers still on if the attraction is there.
the other "dating" will be taken to mean sex with the above scenario ^^.
imo, neither situation yet signifies a "relationship", as usually "dating" is the "getting acquainted" stage were waters are still being tested which I sense is your definition here, as well.

then, we have the word "friends"...
again, this can get misconstrued from YOUR definition here. do you mean he wants to stay friends with the girl as in remaining on speaking terms and no more sex when they happen to meet up?
does it mean that they remain fwb, and not as having a bf/gf relationship, hence your comment about his wanting and eating his cake?

labels & terms such as fwb, friends, fvkb, date, relationship, bf/gf, tend to lend themselves to pro and con opinion camps, you'll read that distinction.

good luck and I hope you make the right choice (for you).
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 67
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 6:13:58 AM

I agree you should be able to date more than one person at at time. The emphasis on dating.
What if the guy you have been seeing wants to still be friends with a girl he met at the same party as you and had sex with the week before your first real date? He says it was just a friends with benefits arrangement but he changed his mind about wanting a girlfriend and now wants a real relationship with you? Should they be "allowed" to keep these people as friends or was it cheating?

This is the situation I am in at the moment and I tend to think that he wanted his cake and ate it too and will never be able to have a serious relationship if he can't choose one person to date.

I wouldn't call that cheating since you hadn't even gone out yet, I would call that "expertly-timed preemptive fornication".

The guy didn't do anything "wrong" if you hadn't even gone out on a proper date yet; sure it's a little "sketchy" to some people to bang one person and then court the next a few days later, but so long as their sexual contact is OVER BEFORE your courtship begins and he stays true to you DURING, there's no real issue here unless you have a problem with his "relaxed" attitude towards sexual relations in general.


I've always been a fan of dating more than one person at a time, where my definition of "dating" is going out socially WITHOUT having sex. I don't "double-dip my wick" so to speak; so while I may sleep with numerous people, it is done SEQUENTIALLY, not in parallel (i.e. sleep with girl A, decide it's not going to work so we split up & I focus on girl B, sleep with her; if it doesn't work out, move on to girl C...)

So long as I practice safe sex with each, I don't consider what I did 24 hours beforehand to have any bearing on what I do today. I don't ask the lady I'm courting who she's kissed/slept with before me, so why should she get to ask what I did before I started seeing her?
 southaustingal
Joined: 11/2/2008
Msg: 68
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 6:16:37 AM
This has come up several times in my dating world. In one particular case, I had just signed up for POF and had several emails flowing. I went out with one guy and had a good first date and he left it that he would like to see me again. The next day I checked my emails in the morning (hoping one was from him) and then left for the day. He called me right as I was pulling into a little town to do some Christmas shopping so I told him I would call him back later that evening. He sounded kind of put off by that and said I would be too busy to talk to him. I said that calling him back later when I got back home wasn't a problem. So I get home, checked emails and then gave him a call. No answer so I left a voice message. After a couple of days I emailed him a "What's Up". He came back with all of this stuff about seeing me on POF both times the day after our date and therefore I must not be serious about finding someone and was just another player. I responded that while I thought we had a great first date that me checking other emails did not make me insincere and that I thought he was jumping to a lot of conclusions since I could have said the same thing about him since he would have been on line at the same time. (Plus the cyber stalking thing creeped me out. Was he watching all day to see when I was on line?). He came back with all this stuff about only dating one person at a time and he didn’t want to be another person in a queue while I would be checking things out for someone better. I responded that it was obvious that we felt different about dating and that was okay. What was not okay was that he blindsides me and didn’t bother to discuss this difference up front like two adults. In the end I thanked him for giving me yet another example of why it is a good idea to date causally until you get to know someone because it was clear we looked at things differently.

Me, I think it is a good idea to “date” as in get to know one another and if there happens to be more than one person then great as long as you are honest. I also agree with keeping it light and not sleeping with someone until it becomes more serious. This allows you more time to get to know someone who you may not have really sparked with on the first date because things can grow. On the other hand, I have had great first dates only to find out 3, 4 or 5 dates in that this is not going to work. I think it is wise to keep your options open until you decide that it is something that has the potential to be real and you want to focus on one.
 Just_Jay79
Joined: 10/11/2005
Msg: 69
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 7:45:37 AM

He came back with all of this stuff about seeing me on POF both times the day after our date and therefore I must not be serious about finding someone and was just another player. I responded that while I thought we had a great first date that me checking other emails did not make me insincere and that I thought he was jumping to a lot of conclusions since I could have said the same thing about him since he would have been on line at the same time. (Plus the cyber stalking thing creeped me out. Was he watching all day to see when I was on line?).

Ah yes, the dreaded "Why are YOU still online checking your mail?! (despite me being online doing the same and checking up on you while I'm at it)" conversation.


Don't let it faze you Southaustingal, that crap has happened to me too, and plenty of other POF'ers out there. My policy is to keep e-mail chatting until some kind of rudimentary discussion of exclusivity happens, or if I've fallen so hard for the girl that I WILLINGLY hide my profile regardless of whether or not she removes hers.


I've had an ex-date or two accuse me of all kinds of things, stalk my logins, or my forum posts and comment on anything that they believe might be referring to them... Some people just get WAY more invested than you will...

My only tip to avoid more cyber-stalking: don't let a person you're seeing add you to their Favorites List - it will always display your latest login time to them if you're on their list, or even if you add them to yours (as they can select the "Find out who has selected YOU as a favorite" list and it will show you).

Best of luck to you, and to all!
 Livinginthereal
Joined: 8/10/2010
Msg: 70
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 10:50:02 AM
The only problem is, when you start dating more than one guy at a time, it becomes a competition between the men, because we all know that women pick
( if only unknowingly) The best lier, the one who spends the most money, and is most handsome,

So at the end of the day, she will end up with someone she doesn't know,
who has bad spending habits,
and is most likely out of her league, and will be moving on soon to better fields...
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 71
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 12:23:54 PM

The only problem is, when you start dating more than one guy at a time, it becomes a competition between the men,

Only if you let it. Just don't play the game. The easiest way to deal with that is to decide you aren't competing to be picked that you'll decline if picked and that you'll hang around as long as you enjoy having sex with her.

So at the end of the day, she will end up with someone she doesn't know, who has bad spending habits,

Even if that were true (which I find unlikely as a general rule), do what I suggested above and that won't be of any concern to you.
 letsgocanes11
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 72
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 12:39:03 PM
You can date whoever you want, as many people as you want, whenever you want. Until you have a talk with someone who you are dating and agree to be monogamous with eachother. If that doesn't happen then there is nothing wrong with dating multiple people end of discussion! Sometimes peoples feelings may be hurt but it's unfair to go by expectations and not actually communicate and agree so date eachother only. You are doing nothing wrong OP.
 Ulster born
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 73
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 1:05:25 PM
If by dating, you mean meeting people and spending time with them in a non-intimate (non-sexual) way, then it's acceptable if the person is comfortable with doing that.
Pros: You meet more people which could be more invigorating
Cons: Might be time-challenging to arrange meetings with different people and might feel guilty, like you're a "player", but if you're honest with the person upfront you aren't.
If you do meet someone "special" from dating, and you want to enter into a relationship that's always an option if both people are interested.
Nothing wrong with it as long as both are okay with it.
 lilcontrary
Joined: 3/16/2010
Msg: 74
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 1:31:27 PM
I look at it like this.. The FDIC will only guarantee X amt of our savings.. the rest you are on your own with to invest. Do you trust the first financial investment investor to take care of the remaining bits of nest egg you have? Or do you interview and go with the one that is high risk, slow but steady or let one hold your money with no potential for growth. Until I know them and examine their potential.. I don't put my eggs in their basket. The same is with my love life which I consider an important investment.

Mary
 summer1717
Joined: 8/14/2010
Msg: 75
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 8/19/2010 6:58:41 PM
Yes. Going out on a date doesn't necessarily equal having an exclusive relationship.
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