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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?      Home login  
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 Exciting1
Joined: 1/26/2009
Msg: 101
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
i agree with most of the others here, especially about being honest about what you are doing. there has to be some process of selection, if you are really looking for 'someone'. but alot of people are not looking for a 'someone' so they will only ever be dating multiple people. so it's important to be honest, and find partners who are similar on that issue.

yeah, the 'standard' way of dating a few hours on a friday and saturday night for a few weeks doesn't always happen. some dates do last all day and almost all night. and at my age, i know the type of guy that i like/not, and i know the general types of guys around, so it generally doesn't take months to see if this is a person who would be a good match for me or not. i would think that any guy around my age who really wanted a relationship would know what kind of woman he wanted and could recognize it when he saw it. but, i know some who don't do that, like they keep thinking that a better one is going to appear at any time. i'm always surprised when i see guys on here posting that they don't want to date a whole bunch of women at the same time. because both on here and irl it seems that most guys just want to 'keep their options open' even if they are only actually dating one person.
 61central
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 102
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/2/2010 7:57:54 PM

Yes. Going out on a date doesn't necessarily equal having an exclusive relationship.


 Julienamana
Joined: 4/24/2009
Msg: 103
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/14/2010 10:33:57 PM
I'm going thru this too. I met someone we've gone out about 5 times in a few weeks and even though a lot of my friends tell me yes date other people its the beginning you don't have to date only him it gets confusing for me. I don't really see the point of dating anyone else because I don't want 2 kiss anyone elase. I'm liking this guy. its so weird because he is still online and has told me he is ,talking, to other girls. I am really a one guy girl but knowing he is still looking on the sitemakes me think I should keep my options open. I don't know my brain hurts lol
 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 104
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/15/2010 5:29:52 AM
Dating is a process whereby you get to know people and figure out if you want to pursue something with them that goes beyond dating. It is perfectly fine to date more than one person but, you have to take the other parties feelings into account as well. Be honest about the fact you are seeing more than one person so no one you are dating is making you their number one priority while you view them as just one of a couple of options and, you cannot do this indefinitely either. Eventually you have to poop or get off the pot as the saying goes.

Be aware of the fact that the man/woman who overburdens his/her fishing line for too long of a time with many fish will probably have said line break and end up with no fish.
 gideonjoe
Joined: 9/3/2010
Msg: 105
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/15/2010 5:52:45 AM
I'd say this DATING is fine. In the dating scene, you can, as long as things dont get sexual. I personally think it's gross for two people to be dating and sexual with each other and one or both of the partners are still dating others.....if you get sexual, put a halt on the other dating stuff until a final decision is made. I'd like to see what others think about this.
 tallblonde7
Joined: 9/5/2010
Msg: 106
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/15/2010 6:32:01 AM
My answer is yes. I don't see anything wrong with going out on 1-2 dates with multiple people. You aren't in a committed relationship yet.
 gideonjoe
Joined: 9/3/2010
Msg: 107
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/15/2010 7:28:29 AM
Ok, Tall Blonde, lets say you are dating 3 different guys. It gets sexual with you and one of the guys. Is it cool if he is sleeping with one of the other 2 women he is also dating?
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 108
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/15/2010 7:38:37 AM
Unless one is exclusive then one is free to do whatever with whomever they so desire. As long as one is being frank and earnest with the people they are seeing. It's then up to those people to make a decision if they are ok with it or not. If it's a dealbreaker for them then they should move on, if it's not then they can make their own adjustments accordingly.
 gideonjoe
Joined: 9/3/2010
Msg: 109
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/15/2010 12:52:03 PM
Ok, agreed there. Both parties need to be bluntly and brutally honest and frank with one another. I know I'd be repulsed if I was dating a woman who was sleeping around and she DIDNT say anything. At least if she was honest about it, I'd get to Walgreens and get some Trojans and NO oral sex for her LOL!
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 110
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/15/2010 1:04:19 PM

At least if she was honest about it, I'd get to Walgreens and get some Trojans and NO oral sex for her LOL!


Hmmm so you are saying if she told you she is *not* dating anyone else beside you, then you would forget the idea of Trojans and go bareback? If you go with that theory what about the men she slept with prior to meeting you? Even if she is doing other men while 'dating' you, all she has to do is take a shower and then she is good as "new".

I just don't see where the whole no oral sex bit comes in, because unless she is a virgin she's obviously been tampered with. Might as well then say that you will not go down on a woman ever unless she is a virgin, because the reality is if she is sexually active she had a paynish in there at one point or another...whether it was 3 hours before going on your date or 4 month before meeting you.
 gideonjoe
Joined: 9/3/2010
Msg: 111
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/15/2010 5:06:34 PM
What I am saying is that its gross for either the male or the female to be having sex with a partner and CURRENTLY dating another partner. My opinion is that if you are dating several partners and start a sexual affair with one of them, at least have the decency to be upfront and honest with the others you are dating as in "I am sleeping with another man/woman. but I still want to date you. To have sexual relations with someone, while still "looking" is to me, personally gross. But thats just me.
 Captain_Wayne
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 112
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/16/2010 1:34:25 AM
This is a difficult question to answer because there are so many variables that the answer depends upon. I recently had a date with a gal and I kinda liked her and was interested in another date. However, one morning while at work a couple of days after we dated, I txted her with a harmless flirting message, something like "let's tell our bosses we are sick and run off to Baja for pina coladas." I got back a terse two-word reply. "Enough! Ok?" I was totally taken aback by this unwarranted stern bark. I decided not to wait for the Christmas rush and deleted her number from my cell. An hour or so later I got several apologetic messages from her in a row. She told me that she was seeing three different guys besides me and that they were filling up her cell messages so that she could not keep up. She also said that I was her favorite. Now maybe I am right, maybe I am wrong, but at that moment, I totally lost interest in her. I felt like she was casting her net into the water and then sorting thru the catch for the finest meat. Perhaps this is what you are supposed to do when you are dating, but you certainly should not tell your dates that they are being compared so that you can make your choice. I made her choice for her by eliminating myself from the pool.
 ifly
Joined: 8/27/2010
Msg: 113
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/16/2010 2:27:13 AM
i don't see how this could work if person A is likes person B enough to see them exclusively but person B wants to date multiple people. then throw in the romantic stuff. who has the most to lose potentially. fine if person A can deal with it. what's hilarious is few people can face up to the fact that the person they're corresponding with has several other lines cast (nevermind not having met), they prefer the illusion that they are the only contact, but it really manifests itself once dating commences. reality's a beotch.
 fashiongal2
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 114
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/19/2010 8:41:13 PM

Ok, Tall Blonde, lets say you are dating 3 different guys. It gets sexual with you and one of the guys. Is it cool if he is sleeping with one of the other 2 women he is also dating?


Having sex with one of them would change things. But the post you responded to mentioned going out on just 1-2 dates with multiple people. I think most first or second dates ( especially ones from a dating site ) don't involve sex. When 2 people meet from a dating site, it often doesn't go beyond 1-2 dates.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 115
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/19/2010 11:51:19 PM
I don't really see the point of dating anyone else because I don't want 2 kiss anyone elase.

That's not a good enough reason. :)

I'm liking this guy. its so weird because he is still online and has told me he is ,talking, to other girls.

That's the reason why you should "play zone" and not one-on-one coverage (football defense analogy).

I am really a one guy girl but knowing he is still looking on the sitemakes me think I should keep my options open.

Good!

Here's the thing -- being a "one guy girl" or a "one girl guy" means that you desire monogamous situations. But not necessarily from the beginning, but with someone you want to be DatING. It's not looking over at the grass on the other side of the fence when you're a couple. That sort of thing.

Your situation is "are we DatING" yet? Well, obviously not -- because he's still prospecting. DatING -someone- implies that you're not prospecting any more -- it's established. You found someone you have already consistently been seeing, etc. An established 'relationship' hasn't happened yet, but you did find someone and you'll see where that goes.

Many times when you really dig someone and it's still in the "getting to know you phase" is when you SHOULD keep prospecting other options. Most of the time you don't know if they are or not, but you should always assume they are... and when you really dig someone, it will hurt more when rejected/blown-off if that happens, as opposed to being blown off by someone who you weren't that into anyway.

I would say stick to the one-woman/one-guy thing AFTER things have been established. I would say your situation, 5 dates in 3 weeks is a cut-off point for fish or cut bait if any one person wants to be a couple (ie be 'DatING'). He probably knows you really dig him, and if not, you should make that clear... and if at this point he's "unsure", that means he "lacks interest".... whether that be to having other good options that's enticing to him, or him feeling he can do better.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 116
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/20/2010 1:11:59 AM
I think you should date more than one person at a time. You are not in a committed relationship with anyone of them.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 117
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/20/2010 8:10:35 AM

Unless one is exclusive then one is free to do whatever with whomever they so desire. As long as one is being frank and earnest with the people they are seeing. It's then up to those people to make a decision if they are ok with it or not.

If I'm not dating someone exclusively, I have no obligation to tell someone anything at all about what I'm doing with anyone else nor would I explain my intentions. It's a date. It might involve sex, but without the exclusivity up front, that's all it is.

Perhaps this is what you are supposed to do when you are dating, but you certainly should not tell your dates that they are being compared so that you can make your choice.

If you're not insisting on exclusivity, you should assume the person you're dating is dating and sleeping with several others and decide based on that assumption.
 Julienamana
Joined: 4/24/2009
Msg: 118
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/20/2010 2:25:03 PM
confident realist, you rock, thanks thats some damn good advice, I was sick of the confusion so I text him -im feeling some confusion. I like you and hanging out with you, im not trying to get into anything serious right now, I want to hang out again, you? LOL and he called within minutes and we had the longest phone conversation yet and hung out sat and sunday so I guess this direct thing really works lol
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 119
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/20/2010 4:42:23 PM

I guess this direct thing really works lol

Yep. Whoda thunk?
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 120
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 10/3/2010 5:40:54 AM
You can date around and not sleep with everyone you date. That is what people use to do to get to know the best possible person for them.
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 121
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 10/4/2010 12:00:50 PM
For me to date more than one person at a time. Yes. For the women I am dating to date more than one person at a time . No! It is not okay. LOL. Okay seriously, it depends on what you consider a date to be. I see no problem with this also long as everyone is on the same page and no talk of being exclusive has happened. With that being said if no talk of being exclusive has occurred, than one should be able to do what they wish to do.
 worknovertime
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 122
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 10/4/2010 1:05:34 PM
If there isn't any interest to move forward, then why would I keep dating that person? If there is interest... I wouldn't be seeing anyone else. In all fairness.

If I am dating someone and I learn that they are playing the field....their field would become one person smaller right then and there.

I get in line for no one, and I wouldn't want to be dating someone who would be willing to get in line either.
 sunbeach95
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 123
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 10/5/2010 7:13:31 AM
Yes provided that you aren't having sex and not committed relationship with any of them.
 IHLBW
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 124
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 4/24/2012 3:26:03 AM
Acceptable to whom? The only people it has to be acceptable to are the people involved in the situation.

There's no such thing as "acceptable" or "not acceptable"; it's like trying to define "normal"; there's no absolute standard of morality here. What is acceptable must be determined only by the people involved in the situation. Honesty is key, though, because without honesty you remove informed choice from the picture for each individual.

Personally, I think dating more than one person at a time (no matter how you define "dating"), so long as everybody understands the situation, is wonderful. I find it much better than dating one person at a time; I also tend to get treated better and to be able to get to know people more slowly without any kind of desperation or neediness motivating me. For me, it works best to build friendships with people first and then go from there, but to each his/her own.
 tuxqueot
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 125
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 4/24/2012 5:57:18 AM
a quote I saw on one of those facebook images that people repost over and over...

attributed to Johnny Depp: If you fall in love with 2 people, choose the second. Because if you were really in love with the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second one.

When I started dating after my ex-wife left, I would not date or even look for anyone to date if I was seeing someone, because I feel I have to give the current person a chance to work out or not. No one is perfect and no relationship will be perfect, so I have to be willing to give a relationship my undivided attention.

Another quote, this one from Albert Einstein: Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Give your relationship the attention it deserves. You may be surprised with the outcome.

This is just my opinion, I could be wrong.
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