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| The 3 date rule
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:21:38 PM | Interesting Subject, of the three date rule, Steverenose.
Instead of putting regulations, and rules into the factor, just go out, and enjoy the day with the woman that you are with.
The less presser the better, however, make her feel special, that you enjoy HER company, and the time that you have on a date with her.
Allow her the opportunity, to feel that SHE, is NOT, just another date to you, that you have marked in your blackbook of woman, that you have just dated.
She want to feel that she means more to you, then just being your date.
Ya don't have to spend all kinds of money on her, however, some light affection, lots of close hugs, and a few fairly light kisses, and stroking her lightly in her back with you hand, or even stroking her hair gently, or even stroking her hair back out of her face.
It is the personal simple little things, that she wants from you, to show that you care about her, to make JSUT her, feel special, and connected to you.
When your date is over, give her a close hug, and a little kiss on the lips, and that her for the wonderful time that you had togwther, and wish her, that you hope that she also had a wonderful time to.
When ya get home, remember to send her an e-mail of thanking her for such a wonderful time, and that you look forward to talking to her again.
Send her home, with a good feeling that the teo fo you, had a wonderful day together, and with a smile on her face, a song in her heart, and a laugh in her voice.
Because, ya just never know, that in the long run, SHE, may just very well be, the exact, kind of woman that you are looking for.
So, instead of applying the three rule date, allow mother nature to take her course, and always continue to allow this woman that you are so interested in, to feel speacial around you.
As for sex and intamacy, just leave that at bay for now, that can come later, but, continue to allow her to connect with you.
I have heard this from another woman poster, that when a woman, says that SHE is HIS WOMAN, that is one H E L L of a MAJOR complement to the MAN, YOU that SHE made to YOU.
And except it AS THAT, as a complement by HER.
And most of all, DO NOT, forget to thank HER, with a close HUG, and a PASSIONATE K.ISS.
THAT, will go a looooooooooooooong ways, with her.
SHE, wants to feel that SHE IS, the ONLY WOMAN in the world to you.
Ya d a m n rights, SHE DOES, soooooooo, treat her, like she FEELS that SHE DOES. | |
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| The 3 date rule
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:15:55 PM | The only rules I play by are mine. In my world I am sexual when I am in a caring relationship. For me that takes more than three dates. That takes time, attention, a lot of conversation, fun and more conversation. If a fellow is not on the same page he can go on his merry way. It is one of the ways I separate the men from the boys so to speak. | |
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rhodax
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 103 | |
| The 3 date rule
Posted: 7/15/2009 5:04:29 PM | Get lucky?
I have a three date guideline. If I find I'm not really getting into her or her me then there isn't a fourth date. Sex is a wholly different issue.
My rule about sex is that when its time, its time. When that time is depends completely on the relationship. | |
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| The 3 date rule
Posted: 7/15/2009 6:52:23 PM | Never mind the three date rule.....
Everyone knows by three minutes if either has a chance at anything, right?...... | |
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| The 3 date rule
Posted: 10/26/2009 11:36:45 PM | | 3 dates is perfectly reasonable. especially as men are expected to pay for everything on a date. There are women who have no intention of sleeping with you who will allow you to take them out on (i.e., pay for) multiple dates. My 3 date rule goes like this: If after 3 dates a woman doesn't want to sleep with me, then she can ask me out and pay for further dinners, movies, night clubs, etc. That way she knows I not just interested in sex and I know she's not just playing me for a chump to take her out on the town at my expense. | |
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| The 3 date rule
Posted: 10/26/2009 11:56:06 PM | Hard to believe I didn't write in on this thread back in 2006......but..anyhow..NOW.
Way too many rules...and dumbarse rules to boot I must add.
but then...let's call what it is now...if your meeting with the intent on jumping each other's bones on the first meet...it ain't no date..... stop fooling yourself..it is a bonafide booty call.
and as for the 3 date thing rule...well life is too short.....and who the hell knows...there might be some chemistry along the way...and what happens happens... nuff said. | |
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| The 3 date rule
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:09:41 AM | Hmm I know the rule,
but the way I thought it works was, the guy trys on each date.
The woman holds out to the third date because of social pressure that she is not a slut.
One woman told me that she only sleeps with men on the first date if they are "boy toys" who she would not see twice, but were hot enough to sleep with. She said the 3 date rule is a sign of respect to man she wants to impress long term.
As for me I have no different opinion of a woman if she sleeps with you on any particular date even the first, it seems to be something the female tribe came up with. | |
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| The 3 date rule
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:00:12 AM | As for me I have no different opinion of a woman if she sleeps with you on any particular date even the first, it seems to be something the female tribe came up with.
I think that is incorrect. Women may have defined it and named it but, in my experience many men ( those who are looking for more than sex that is) established it with their reaction to those who sleep with them on the first date or even meet.
Not once has any of my past gf's ( way past ... as in the early eighties b4 aids changed timing for most) or myself slept with someone on the first date, given a chance for a second date. In many cases, the sex was actually amazing, so it wasn't that. Though in twisted insecure minds,maybe it was a part of it. "Yikes she had mind boggling good sex with me and we just met, must do that with ALL the guys, pass"!
Ya, I sound like my mother ( funny I never USED to, lol) but I base it on the behaviours of men I know, NOT a bunch of words that include a number of dates.
I find it hilarious that so many here think a third date is waiting long enough to know a person. How much time elapses between dates? How much is revealed about each other ( other than their physicality). This varies greatly and should matter much more than a number placed on social outings.
I realize I was the target of third date thinking from someone I dated, only three times, over the course of TWO years! We had our first meet and knew we were both attracted but only said so later while talking online. Then we talked the whole winter. We went to a live performance in the Spring for our first date and that ended with a very inviting kiss. We talked some more and more and more,
while HE played the field and I knew it, then finally had our second date in the early fall with a full blown dinner out and a drive and park at the beach( my suggestion  ). The third date was a few weeks later ( I guess the submarine races at the beach speeded up the motivation for him to see me again). The third date was at his place. I brought a movie (Gia,with Angelina Jolie, oh oh) and he cooked an incredible "surf and turf" dinner. Half way through the movie, during a fairly romantic( as opposed to lusty) kiss, he jumped me. He's a big guy and a labourer with the power in his arms to prove it. I am in my fifties and so is he. So two years of talking to death with him, meeting his friends and asking him directly about sexual expectations went for naught. I didn't have sex with him, per se, but made a compromise to diffuse the heat ( and perceived danger) which I did not want to do and left with him all gushy and affectionate during the ride home.
I never heard from him again. Even though he had made arrangements to get a small piece of essential camera equipment online (with my money). I contacted him a couple of times about that and only that (since he had blown it in my eyes) and never received a response. So three dates over three days or over two years, doesn't seem to make a difference to plenty of men.
Still does to me. | |
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| The 3 date rule
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:33:20 AM |
Not once has any of my past gf's ( way past ... as in the early eighties b4 aids changed timing for most) or myself slept with someone on the first date, given a chance for a second date. In many cases, the sex was actually amazing, so it wasn't that. Though in twisted insecure minds,maybe it was a part of it. "Yikes she had mind boggling good sex with me and we just met, must do that with ALL the guys, pass"!
Every actual relationship I've had, I slept with the girl on the first date. The chemistry is either there or it's not.
I've read a good rule of thumb is that if after 2 hours a girl isn't very clearly into you (which while being different for each girl, should be obvious), you're wasting your time. Of course there is the exception, but for every one exception there are hundreds of other potential mates out there. | |
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| The 3 date rule
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:36:22 AM | Well there's your difference! I am talking about WOMEN, you are referring to girls.
If it's just semantics, fine. But, I doubt it. And ... at 23 you are talking about a generation who routinely "hooks up" after a couple of hours( I am not assuming this I have a 21 year old son with tons of friends who all operate, or want to, similarly.) You also are speaking from the perspective of someone who has five maybe eight years of sexual experience! I am speaking from several decades of experience. The simple passage of great lengths of time and many events does add to your awareness and knowlege if you keep your eyes and ears open, which I have.
Two hours? That's all about the physical. I was not referring to just the physical
"rightness" of something and thought I put the effort into my post to be clear about that!
After I know I am attracted to the person, for a potential relationship to blossom,
I need to let substantial time pass so any "front" to impress me is given the opportunity
to subside and "true colours" tend to leak out.( and they invariably do, good or bad!)
If I bond myself with the emotional glue that sex instantly produces, for me,
and then the true colours rear their ugly head. It is much messier and difficult
to correct that error!
Some people STAY miserable, in relationships, started just that way! AND ... they love to say, "but, the sex is still so great"! lol
Big Deal! If the other twenty hours of your day with them bites the big one! | |
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