| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:05:49 PM | | im over 35 and im looking for the long term to turn in to marriage im not looking for someone to sleep with like you said here-------I'm asking because it seems all of the men (in my past online dating experiences) that say they are looking for "long term" relationships really means "try and sleep with you until someone else better comes along". LOL we are out here choose wisely | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/7/2008 5:51:26 PM |
I totally agree....sans the living together part. What's the point of marriage anymore? I don't know, and I sure as hell can't answer the 10 divorced friends I have when they ask. Don't get me wrong marriage does sound good...........for about half a second.
I think a lot of women want the whole fairy tale romance/marriage. In this day and age maybe it works for some people, but I don't know.
Some women have it engraned in them from when they're young that relationships are supposed to be so romantic & so fairy tale like & then they're supposed to get married & then they live happily ever after. Unfortunately life isn't a fairy tale. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/7/2008 9:34:02 PM | Of course they want to get married again. The problem is they actually want to get to know you first and court you. They don't want a desperate plea of "im not getting any younger". Want to hook a guy? do what he wants. Have fun and freak'n relax. just because your 35 doesn't mean your life is over. pretend your dating and you have no pressure for kids or marriage. IT WILL HAPPEN. guys don't change over the years but women do. if you dont live by your biological clock then you will find the right guy.
Simmer down!!!!! | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/8/2008 7:36:57 AM |
Don't get me wrong marriage does sound good...........for about half a second.
Why? Well, that's longer than I'd consider it.
I think a lot of women want the whole fairy tale romance/marriage. In this day and age maybe it works for some people, but I don't know.
Doubtful. I mean I read a lot of Disney books when I was a kid too, I just didn't apply them to reality. They were SUPPOSED to be fantasy, thus the term "fairy tale".
Some women have it engraned in them from when they're young that relationships are supposed to be so romantic & so fairy tale like & then they're supposed to get married & then they live happily ever after. Unfortunately life isn't a fairy tale.
Nope...and after you spend money on a wedding and a divorce lawyer it's a harsh wake up call. My friends all fell for that one. I decided to skip it. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/2/2008 4:00:43 AM | Yea I guess your right, I was confused about marrage. Everyone I know who are, both resently and long say same thing, DON'T do it. I guess I am living a dream, wanting what my parents and older people want. I should be happy just the way I am, single! But then again, nobody has been a catch for me to marry YET.
John | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/2/2008 4:14:05 AM | Roflmao
((((((((((( I think a lot of women want the whole fairy tale romance/marriage. In this day and age maybe it works for some people, but I don't know.))))))))))
That is one thing that can never be expected esp these days of age... I mean really maybe if we lived in the leave it to beaver era or I love lucy it could happen, but dang come on LOL Even though that disney marriage would be nice LOL
Expectations have changed since I have gotten back in the scene recently and its almost scary on the expectations that people have some very unrealistic expectations or very high ones. A lot won't even bother with you because already without knowing you.......sorry, not your type and thats just by going on looks... WTH, what happened to becoming friends without the strings? I am having a blast just getting out and enjoying other adults company.. if it happens it happens if it don't it don't. No way I am in a hurry... Taking the chill pill and really relaxing and having fun is great when no expectations are on the table.
Seems all it is about sex, sex, sex which I don't mind and I do like it .. but it doesn't mean I will jump in the sheets with just everyone... I have to have some sort of connection there.... I am not a prude or nothing. But it is part of the relationship when I figure this out or someone has, please let me know because I haven't yet LOL .........I think the more I get into the dating the more confusing I am getting LOL | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/2/2008 11:21:24 PM | It is disappointing that you have that perception. I for example would love to be married, and be done with the whole dating thing. In my case I dont seem to attract dates who I am attracted to. One problem with online dating is that a persons attractiveness involves a lot more that words and pictures.
I see and read something attractive, and they dont respond. Or I get interest from seekers who I have no interest in at all. So you see, it is a very difficult hit and miss game we are all playing. But Miss right Im here and cant wait to buy that ring! Steve 38and counting. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/3/2008 4:09:14 PM | I for one turn 35 this month. I have been married and am not looking to do it again. Further, I council all my male friends as to why they should really consider a no marriage life. I plan to council my son the same way when he's old enough...assuming people are still actually getting married.
That being said...I am definitely looking for a long term relationship. My question to the op...and any other ladies who'd answer, can you accept a long term relationship without the wedding and be "happy" in that situation.... and why? | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/3/2008 5:18:26 PM | Yes...I've been looking all my life, whether or not I truly was ready.
I'm kind of stunned to hear that there are people out there who actually
think there's something wrong with me because I am over 40 and single an
childless. There's actually another thread on here that accuses me and
guys like me of being selfish simply because I happen to now be over 40 and
never been married.
Let's see, maybe I could have been married a couple of years ago, but I
needed to put my new career and my life on hold for a year and a half to
care for my elderly parents who both became I'll at the same time, then
I lost my father, and need to make sure my 82 year old mother could
function without her husband of 65 years..Yeah I guess that's selfish...
Maybe I could have gotten married in the 6 years prior to that but
suddenly after working in a career since I was 16, I had a "calling" and
ended up (kicking and screaming mind you) to devote 4 years to going to
graduate school, so I could help my fellow man...yeah I guess that's
selfish...
Maybe I could have gotten married in my early 30's, but let's see I was
"working on myself" doing all sorts of personal growth stuff, so I could
be a better human being...to potentially be a great partner to someone,
and an even better father than my father was to me, because he came from
a time where men didn't necessarily show affection, especially to their
male children because they wanted them to be tough, and I didn't want to
be that kind of parent/husband when I did find the right person to share
my life with...yeah I guess that was selfish of me..
Hmm maybe I could have gotten married when I was in my 20's, yeah that
would have been a great time, when I was struggling financially, and was
basically an arrogant and immature twit who didn't know anything about
life, and was barely a few years out on my own..hmm that's a great time
to get married eh? A better time to be a parent too?
Getting married when we're "young and dumb" as opposed to when we've
learned a a few things about life, the universe, how to be a partner is
"unselfish?" Or the reason the divorce rates are so high, and there's so
many people in there 30's and 40's on here (and in society) who are
listed as seperated or divorced???
And who carry enough baggage with them to fill at least 2 U-Hauls.
Now that doesn't mean I haven't had relationships...I was engaged once
when I was young and dumb, and again about 5 years ago, neither of those
worked for various and complicated reason. I've also had a couple long
term relationships, where we realized that we weren't "it" for each
other and parted ways, and countless other dates and periods of dating
women for a short period on the quest for finding the right one...
Usually one if not both of us agreed that we just weren't the ones for each other for the long haul.
There's no shame in being single....Our lives are complicated. I'd
rather be single and relatively happy than with the wrong one and be
miserable...I've been there way too many times. The only difference is,
that I didn't jump into anything...
I'm looking for a "rest of my life" partner, I only want to be married once. I'm glad I found out beforehand that it wasn't going to work, with whoever it was....that way I
won't be bitter and judgemental like many of the people you find at my age.
My parents were married 65 years, and though I can't say they were happy, or had the greatest relationship, their love endured....Though I want something better, than just enduring each other...But they did teach me that if you commit to each other, you do it for the rest of your lives, and that includes sometimes changing your life partner's diapers when they are infermed.
In sickness and in health aren't just words to some of us.
I once attended another 65 year wedding anniversary, this couple still held hands and "cooed" at each other. He still held the door open for her, despite the complication of walkers and canes....He still referred to her as "his bride," with a gleam in his eye.
I wouldn't be too surprised to hear that they still did the horizontal mambo on occasion.
I want that...the sad thing is that being over 40 it's doubtful I will get to celebrate our 65th anniversary. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/3/2008 5:33:38 PM | As a man that was married for 10 years....divorced for over 5, I'd say yes.....and online dating is a key way to meet folks that have the same "checkboxes" you have or you are looking for.....now this speaks nothing to chemistry, so as an adult....does the world move faster? Yes. Do folks want to make up their minds sooner whether they want to spend more time or a lifetime with someone? Yes. Can that be a bit painful to the person on the receiving end of such logic? Absolutely.
I don't know about other folks over 35, but I find at 42, dating is a real challenge when it come to meeting folks close to your age. 20 and 30 somethings have a well establish venue to find possible mates....bars. Not that I support meeting mates there, but if you've taken a close look at it you'll understand what I'm talking about when it comes to such things.
Regards,
Michael | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/4/2008 1:21:18 PM | leafchick: "This is by no means a proposal or a desperate search for a husband. LOL
MEN .... I'm just curious! Are any of you on here SERIOUSLY looking for a long term relationship with hopes of it leading to marriage?
I'm asking because it seems all of the men (in my past online dating experiences) that say they are looking for "long term" relationships really means "try and sleep with you until someone else better comes along". LOL"
It seems to me that women in their 30's tend to approach men with the idea of marriage as a goal. I don't think men do this. I think men are much more likely to be looking for someone compatible.
By the time you've found a man in his 30's who says he's ready for marriage he's already found someone he wants to marry.
I just found a new girlfriend (two weeks now) and I'm considering marrying her in the next five years. I didn't of course go into this looking for marriage.
If the guys are putting LTR as their goal on a dating site and this isn't the reality then maybe they're just fishing with the best bait that works. Note that I've always just put "looking for friends" on my profile and this has effectively filtered out women who are SERIOUSLY looking for a husband RIGHT NOW. Perhaps you'd like to adjust your filtering criteria because *this* one got away. ::laughing:: To a guy it's usually a turn-off for a woman to talk marriage before you two have even met up--she's more in love with the idea of marriage than in you.
Oh... one more thing: the timeframe for meeting someone and getting around to marrying them is usually in the two-to-five year point. If you're 35 and your biological clock won't turn off then try to be conscience of the fact that you're likely to seem too anxious for a guy who would be more comfortable with a longer dating cycle before popping the question. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/4/2008 7:07:49 PM | Yes, I hope to get married and even have children (at least one anyway).
I have to admit though, turning 40 cast a few doubts. However, I have to remain optimistic about it. No giving up - right?
There are some good catches left out there!
~ Kurt | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/4/2008 9:05:32 PM | | I'm particularly worried one way or the other. I want a long term relationship, if we get married or not isn't a big issue for me. I've lived in sin before and dammit I'll do it again lol. Now all I need to do is find someone to do it with lmao. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/4/2008 11:29:18 PM | mcopado.....
That was a heckuva post..........
I think that your reference to your folks, etc, is really relevant. Mine have been married 51 years. I remember asking them once what it was like, and how they stayed together. They said that even though it wasn't always easy, they just worked through the problems if there were any. My mum just shrugged her shoulders as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I happen to agree with her, but it seems to be my impression these days that splitting up/divorcing is just too easy of an "out" when things get a bit testy. I'm not, of course, referring to things like physical or mental abuse etc. But people (I've noticed) just seem to "pull the plug" at the first sign of the least little thing.
In this day of internet/cell phone mania, it's do or die in an instant. Go go go go. No time for an argument/discussion. I'm off to the next one.......
But I wonder where the wisdom is in that? Put the dang phone away for a while and chill out......work things out, take time to talk, and take time to listen (not "hear" but "listen").
I'm by no means whatsoever painting everyone with the same brush, but things have changed in these times. We can't have the "Disney/Lucy-Desi"-type marriages these days.
Says who, by the way? Because we're too busy? Because we need 50 hours in the day? Whose fault is that? And why do we have to accept that?
I have never been married and have no kids. I am 42. I just have refused to get into anything for other than the right reasons, and I don't mind waiting.........and life is still a blast ! | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:55:26 AM | Yes, actually there are,I myself am 42 ,no kids,and sooner or later there will come a woman who fits me and i fit her,meanwhile life is busy and I'm not a hermit i Just live in a small pond with not a lot of fish which limits opportunities but I'm still looking and hoping | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:08:07 AM | Well, it is a complicated question. I'm still searching for the one person who will last, who will commit, who doesn't let go or push away. It's difficult for a man my age to meet a woman who knows that he is actually looking for a long-term arrangement, with all the romance, glory and joy that comes along with it, as well as the downside; wrinkles, arthritis, and 40 years of arguing about who's getting up to turn off the light. But, of course, I know that such a woman is out there: wonderful, beautiful, wise, caring, open and honest, with a passion and zest for new ideas that matches mine. So, I think there are many men who serious want to keep trying to find the one. And many more men who say they are and who aren't trying for anything other than a cheaper physical attachment. Well, different types for different types, right? This is a nice forum, good luck to all.
Matthew | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/6/2008 7:10:53 AM | Flyboy, this is a heckova post as well!!!!
In this day of internet/cell phone mania, it's do or die in an instant. Go go go go. No time for an argument/discussion. I'm off to the next one.......
But I wonder where the wisdom is in that? Put the dang phone away for a while and chill out......work things out, take time to talk, and take time to listen (not "hear" but "listen").
I'm by no means whatsoever painting everyone with the same brush, but things have changed in these times. We can't have the "Disney/Lucy-Desi"-type marriages these days.
Says who, by the way? Because we're too busy? Because we need 50 hours in the day? Whose fault is that? And why do we have to accept that?
I have never been married and have no kids. I am 42. I just have refused to get into anything for other than the right reasons, and I don't mind waiting.........
I couldn't agree more! | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/6/2008 11:30:53 PM | | 46......been single for 4 years.......and the reverse is true.....the women all want to jump my bones.....no one wants a serious relationship.....got me......slightly annoyed | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/7/2008 12:43:42 PM | | Most women my age are divorced with kids and bitter. Funny, I am 37 and women do not even talk to me. I had 20 bad dates in a row and gave up now on dating. Guess I am not tall or rich enough for them. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/7/2008 4:52:26 PM |
46......been single for 4 years.......and the reverse is true.....the women all want to jump my bones.....no one wants a serious relationship.....got me......slightly annoyed
Getting sex thrown at you with no strings attached is annoying for a man how? | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 9/7/2008 5:12:10 PM | Nah was married for 11yrs was good but in the end drifted .Plus double gemini and we all know what that means hehe.Well back to the question at hand been single 3.5 yrs now and am so busy with kids and work don't really have time to miss the bonding thing ,guess I'm still enjoying new found indi.. Well good luck all and stay real ehh. | |
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