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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/22/2008 12:53:28 AM | I hope so.  I'm 31 and I still want to get married eventually. I think actual marriage matters. Maybe I was brought up old fashioned, but I think it's still important. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/22/2008 5:25:40 AM | In my opinion i think that long term should be life, especially when marrage is involved. So us men are naturally causes when it comes to finding the right lady! If something goes wrong in the relationship then we are made to suffer and if there is children it just makes it a million times worse. We may not show our feelings all the time but that does not mean that we don't have them.
Speaking for myself i have just turned 35 and would give my right arm to settle down and get married with a good woman who thinks the same way as me as far as long term goes. I have made some great firends on this site but i think miss right has been avoiding me so far.  | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/22/2008 9:37:24 PM | That's a very cynical view of men. If the guy was trying to sleep with you until someone better comes along, it isn't that he isn't looking for marriage, he just isn't looking for marriage to you. And truthfully, you shouldn't be sad at their leaving, they aren't worth it!
I personally am 36 and I am looking for marriage, eventually, to the right person. That's my ultimate goal. Unfortunately, it some times takes months to find out that that person isn't the one. And by that time (some times) we've been sleeping together. So I definitely see how you might think that all guys are out there for a bed buddy. I have had several long term girlfriends that have been very wonderful women and we got along great, but we weren't meant to spend the rest of our lives together.
Don't get jaded. Keep looking. There are plenty of good guys out there, more than you know. You just have to dig a little deeper to find them. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/23/2008 7:09:49 AM | | i just dont understand it anymore,once marriage was just the done thing,nowadays,people have no moral backbone,if you meet someone you truly care about surely,as soon as you are sure that you do love the person,then you should make that commitment,and,if its hard,you dont just take the easy route out,you work to make it better,well,im still waiting to have the oppurtunity,but i know its all i have ever wanted | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/23/2008 6:32:02 PM | Leafchick,
Many men are seriously looking to get married. Nobody wants to be alone forever. Many guys are moral and don't just look for short term sexual partners.
It is just a huge, huge risk and the guy loses his kids and his shirt almost every time in the USA. All it takes is a statement of irreconcilable differences and 30 days later it's over. Many women don't experience it, but losing your kids is as painful as a close loved one dying. It hurts a lot. No sleep, night terrors, night sweats, and sadness. It takes a long time to accept it.
Our divorce rate is 60+ percent and 80 percent is initiated by women. Those are the most recent stats.
Everything you work for and everything you put your life force into is just gone in a puff of smoke in 30 days. Then your kids are living with a single mom who is leaving them with a baby sitter while she goes out looking for a "very romantic" man who does not exist unless he is a player feeding them a line to get with them short term.
The problem for me is finding out what a person is really like inside morally, ethically, and spiritually. There are no longer any social norms, mores, or taboos controlling marriage behavior or divorce. So now we have to do a very in-depth and analytical evaluation of the person before committing. I'm not dating to be dating. It costs 75-100 dollars to take a lady out and get her loose enough to start talking freely so that it is possible to gain insight into what makes her tick. Many do not come right out and tell the truth, but it comes through in bits and pieces so that you can put it together.
And, if they really want you, they are even more tightlipped about what they say for fear of scaring you off. So, it may seem like guys are dating a lot, but I know most are not doing it by choice. Look at Desperate House Wives and Sex and the Cities ratings and popularity and you will understand why guys are so gun shy about getting married.
And this very true: Past behavior is the best predictor or future behavior.
Ron | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/25/2008 11:54:15 PM | just thought i would add yet again yes,yes,yes,i do i do i do,just there are no takers! if anything i find that nowadays it's women that are afraid to commit,mention marriage and you might as well have just told them that you slept with their sister,mum or auntie,or that you have given them a dose of something,because most will give you the same kind of response!!!!   | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/26/2008 8:23:30 PM | Have to say I would marry if I found the right woman. I am well over 35 and haven't located the right lady. Have come close several times but little things stopped it. The committment or the being devoted and faithful part is no problem. Just want to take the time to really get to know the lady and she to know me. Knowing one never really knows someone completely makes a question in someones mind at times but the no doubt is a for sure if I would marry even at 57 now. have grown to be more into a persons feelings than I did as a person in my 20s. Isn't it funny how a person looks back and thinks of all the mistakes that made them so stupid when they were younger.
Mound | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/27/2008 7:08:48 AM | For myself. Yes.
When open my eyes in the morning and I'm laying in bed for those few minutes between sleep and starting day, when my mind flashes to yesterdays conversation, or the touch of her hand against mine.
It's the feeling you get when you plan to meet and she shows up. And if she's late ( no more then 15- 20 min). She looks so amazing that you think maybe you got the time wrong. Its that she is just as sexy in those skin tight jeans, as she is in the shower, as she is in sweat clothes strait from the gym ( sweat dripping and all). It's when I answer the phone and it's her, for those few moments in time I feel as if, it's just her and I on a beach, 80 Degrees, evening sun, a bowl of tropical fruit, two ice cold coronas, a blanket, ( ok enough of that).
Yes again, I am looking for that not with a different woman every night but with the same woman for the rest of our lives. That dream we shared on the phone we did that 20 times since we have been together, fruit, corona and all. Those tight jeans, even though I have to sling short her ass into them, she still is oh so sexy. To be married and share my life and my love. with someone so amazing that when you wake up with her in your arms and you look at her nestled in your arms and you know, that the bad times are all forgotten thought and she is as beautiful and amazing as the first morning you ever woke with her in your arms. One leg , no teeth, floopy breast. But in your eye still amazing........................ Sunday feel a little sentimental . She's out there. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/27/2008 8:12:12 PM | Myself, I'm 37 years old, and have only had one girlfriend ever, and that was over the internet, and although it lasted two years, we never met in person.
My brother and my sister have families and kids, and while I like being an uncle, I really hope I get to be a husband and father myself.
As such, I'm not looking to start a relationship without it being known upfront that I'm looking for long term commitment - I don't mean to say that I'll want to move in on the first date, just that if I'm dating you, I'm not considering dating anyone else.
I was always the "nice guy"...."Really, you're a nice guy, but....", so I have literally zero experience dating to this point. You can imagine where else I have zero experience. I joke that if I ever have sex with a woman, I would want her to be on top, and totally sober - that way, I know she's there because she had chosen to be there. :)
But yes, I'm looking to get married. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/28/2008 6:31:48 AM |
Myself, I'm 37 years old, and have only had one girlfriend ever, and that was over the internet, and although it lasted two years, we never met in person.
Wow! I don't feel so bad anymore. I've had a profile on this site for almost a year now and haven't met anyone yet. I've never had any real success with online "dating." I'm the guy that always ends up stuck talking to the women looking for an ego boost. :( | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/28/2008 12:46:58 PM | to a woman who's never been married before??? Absoloutely not.
Though...if she's a divorced single mom, I don't want to hear that she left within 2 years of the child being born because..."he was a good dad...but not much of a husband..." Me..."What do you mean by that???...Her.." I dunno really...just wasn't a good husband...didn't make me happy anymore..".
If I hear that just one more time from some vapid little "babymomma" I'm gonna start pitching for the other team. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/28/2008 3:16:48 PM | | ^^^ No doubt she was one of those "my-children-are-my-world" types and her husband outlived his usefulness as a sperm donor. So many women seem to want to elevate their offspring to the paramount of their own existance and don't mind throwing a perfectly good husband to the wayside. They got all they wanted; children. Now the father can hit the road but keep sending most of his paycheck back to help pay for her little demigods. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 12/28/2008 5:26:15 PM |
Myself, I'm 37 years old, and have only had one girlfriend ever, and that was over the internet, and although it lasted two years, we never met in person.
Wow! I don't feel so bad anymore. I've had a profile on this site for almost a year now and haven't met anyone yet. I've never had any real success with online "dating." I'm the guy that always ends up stuck talking to the women looking for an ego boost. :(
to the nice guys who finish last, i sympathize with you. my last two bf promised me the moon and stars - those were all talk but no action. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 1/1/2009 8:25:07 AM | Wow, this thread has been going a long time. I read through it almost entirely (skipped a few pages in the middle), as the subject interests me. What really struck me was the anger at divorced women. Its crazy because I was utterly betrayed by my children's father, and I was devastated, but pretty much said, "he is all yours, and don't let the door hit you on the a##." I was not treated nicely or really loved at all in my marriage, but I never would have left....that was the father of my children and someone I made a promise to, and I tried hard to be what he wanted - something I could never achieve (lived walking on eggshells). I look back and think I was a fool for staying. Anyway, I won't let my bad experience ruin my idea of the institution or tarnish it.
For those who say marriage is pointless after child bearing, I can see where you are coming from and you do make a somewhat compelling arguement - that is if you only look at it as a business contract (yuck). While that frankly is part of it, its also just as much about becoming a unit, hopefully a high functioning, awesome unit. I find having a boyfriend and running two households to be a waste, not to mention the shortage of morning sex; sure we could live together, but I don't think that sends a message to my children. It sure doesn't send a good message to the two parties involved - you are great to seep with and splitting the bills sure is nice, but I wanna be able to run if I get bored with you or the going gets tough for a while...lovely. There is something to be said for the institution - honor. | |
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howru4
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Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 549 | |
| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 1/1/2009 11:30:04 AM | | Like you, I read through several pages as I find this very interesting. Everyone's situation is so different. I do believe, like you if there are kids involved they are the ones who suffer the most. My marriage of 10 years was good but not great , no one said marriage was easy . When she decided to leave with a co worker I got the house and she pays me monthly because I decided to stay home and raise our kids for a few years while they were young ( basically taking a career break ). It worked fine while we were together as we knew our role. She harbours this anger towards me because of how everything worked out, but it was her decision to leave. I think her new husband is a great guy and I have nothing against him, but apparently the " grass is not always greener on the other side". As a society we are so quick to " jump ship" when things get tought ( better job offers, relationships ect ). We live in a very selfish society...me...me. Everything is so for a short term gain. Yes, I do believe that life is short and you should live it to the fullest, but if that means communicating and working things out,in the long run, isn't it worth it ? Especially if you married this person with the intention of spending the rest of your life with them and have kids ? What kind of message is that sending ? It is hard to come out of a divorce not feeling scared in some way, especially if you feel you did the best you could in your marriage. I do want to spend the rest of my life with a wonderful woman ( anyone can get a one night stand ) and get married as I feel it sends the right message of commitment, especially to my childern. I do agree that it becomes very complicated and should not be done for an economic gain or for "sex" | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 1/1/2009 10:44:21 PM | | I met a guy who 'loved me' and 'wanted to marry me' and 'spend the rest of his life with me' - turns out he was a commitment phobe and he walked out 11mths later - he was 41. I'm thinking maybe that the ones over 35 who haven't yet been married are probably best left on the shelf anyway and the ones who have been married need to be treated with kid gloves - everyone has hang ups and baggage, just seems some guys (and normally the ones whinging about that they get the raw end of the deal )are the ones who aren't able to accept responsibility and continue to whinge about how terrible his ex was without actually explaining why they ended up in that place in the first place. | |
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