| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 7:05:13 PM | Hey Sequel...
You say women tell you your too picky and should compromise and that your profile is blunt, my desires are stated, no BS, just truth.
Well thank the lord someone is honest and from what I can gather on here your sincere about it. My OP was to find out if men on here that said they didn't want BS and wanted a long term deal were actually telling the truth.
That's all. Seem so many people didn't really read my OP and thought I was bashing divorced me taken to the cleaners or that by me asking the question meant meeting someone and then getting married right away... which was never the question. There was no timeframe given and trust me NO one should ever settle for anyone. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 7:07:30 PM | Well - you might be right. (in a way)
I have asked twice in my thirties and nothing happened. When I met someone on PoF for the first time last year I considered it, but quickly found that I would not ask for a few years yet.
Maybe that's part of it. You have to really connect with someone before asking the question. if you know in your heart how and when is the right time perhaps these guys you meet are bitten but twice shy?.
Maybe that's how it seems as sex first. Shame really, as if I KNEW I'd met the right person I might not have jumped into bed at anytime until we both accepted marriage!.
Is that too simple and naive? | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 7:12:35 PM | Good evening Leafchick,
It seemed most of your bashers were those who already had gone through a divorce. I found you OP quite intriguing, which is why I jumped in. Seemed (to me) that those of us who were over 35 and never married were in agreement with you. We ARE out there lass, the ones who actually ARE looking for eternity with someone. Don't let those who had their cream curdled before get you down. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 7:16:08 PM | Hey harlequin01
Of course there has to be a connection for even the topic to come up about marriage. As for men bitten but twice shy is fine but BE HONEST ABOUT IT. That is all women or men ask for. I just find at my age that honesty is hard to find in men that have been divorced or separated. I was starting to think that the "looking for long term" in ones profile really meant "scr*w around with as many women as I can get". Hence the my OP which really was a simple question asking for truth. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 7:19:00 PM | Hi irishmage,
Well thank you for taking the time to post that. I was getting upset because some people (and I believe also they are divorced etc..) just felt the need to blast me for having the nerve to post. I do realize that there are men out there wanting the long term relationship .. I was only wanting to know if they were existing on POF.
Nite! | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 7:27:23 PM | | i was in a bad marrage and i wont let it efect how i feel about getting married again ...you cant let on bad apple spoil the bunch ...i do believe one day i will meet a very nice person. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 10:33:02 PM | Say Irish.
Do you have a good photo of your grandfaher just before he died.?
Next time some girl goes on about the "seeking long term" cliche pop the photo up and tell her that this is what you wil look like in fifty years.
And see how fast the long term enthusiasm fades. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 10:39:11 PM | So are you now saying that in order to possess those qualities... you have to be a gay male?
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In fact there are no more gay men, who possess these qualities, than straight men. The assumption is that if a guy is a good groomer then he's gay and if not he's straight. The only exceptions are a few politicians and a few snappy dressing sporting stars such as Smokin Joe Frazier. Nobody actually checks that the sloppy dressing gay isn't actually straight.
I've chatted to a few gay boards about this and they say that the real reason that the fag hags chase them is nothing to do with their dressing habits. It's because they are unavailable and these girls only what what they cant have. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 10:41:41 PM | A few questions gentlemem.
- Have any of you had a girl in bed on the first date?
- If you have, then have any of you turned her down the next day, when she's come back looking for some more.
- Or turned down the idea of long term if it's stayed as good as the first night. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/11/2006 10:46:03 PM | Well thank you for taking the time to post that. I was getting upset because some people (and I believe also they are divorced etc..) just felt the need to blast me for having the nerve to post. I do realize that there are men out there wanting the long term relationship .. I was only wanting to know if they were existing on POF.
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Leaf Chick
Any guy, over 30, who has been through the absoloute hell of divorce, will BLASSSTTTTT any girl, who says she is looking for marriage, unless she displays both awarness and sensitivity to what the guy has been through.
Words like "stung" or "onece bittne twice shy" are not awarness. They are totally inadequate. Guys recover from stings or bites within days. They don't recover from divorces for decades. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/12/2006 5:48:18 AM | sparticuss, so now are you speaking for all divorced men?
I know several including my uncle that bounced back rather quickly. He walked out and left my ex-aunt everything. He did quite well for himself. A friend of mine went through a really horrible one and he is re-married again (within 5 years) and they have been together for 8 years now. Not all divorced people are bitter to hold a grudge for decades. I thought the point of divorce was to end it/go your separate ways. Yet if you are holding all that cr*p in for decades isn't that allowing the other person to define your life and win? Not moving on and learning from experiences as bad as they may be is giving the chance for your new life in the hands of the ex. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/12/2006 5:53:05 AM | | another thing sparticus.. since when does what a person wears make who they are. I personally find that my gay male friends are more compassionate than my straight male friends. That was my observation in m y circle of friends. I don't care if a guy wears a snazzy suit all day, he can still be a d"*ck. A guy that wears ripped jeans and a dirty t-shirt and dirt under his nails can turn out to be a sweet caring man. Clothes have nada to do with it. Nor does money. Those are materialistic things... that's not what this women (me) of 39 is looking for in a man. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/12/2006 5:55:36 AM | sparticuss
What was that about irish having a pic of his grandfather. It's obvious that looks are more important to you. I don't care what the heck someones father/grandfather or uncle looks like dead or alive. Not sure where you are finding these women that are so disconnected with reality but there are women out there that don't care what car a guy drives, where he lives, how much money he has, or what his ancestors look like. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/12/2006 6:52:16 PM | To me, marriage is a couple of things. First, it is a way to celebrate finding the person to spend the rest of your life with. Second, it is also a legally binding contract. In essense, marriage has a lot more to do with raising children than it does with a man and women being in love with each other. When people are younger they are more apt to think about marriage because they are looking to raise a family together and each person wishes to give the other, not only their word, but their legally binding word, that if something goes wrong then the children will still be taken care of by both parents.
At fourty years old, people are not looking at marriage as much as looking to find someone that they get along with and would like to spend their precious time with. Since starting a family is not a primary concern then marriage looses value. At fourty most people are taking care of themselves and don't wish to risk having someone take advantage of them financially, or to be caught up in legal preceedings if things don't work out. Therefore many people that are older choose to live together, spend life together, and truely love each other, but don't feel getting married is something that will benefit the relationship. In fact many believe marriage after fourty can only cause more harm than good.
I guess my question is, IF you really love someone, then what is the purpose of marrying them, if it is only going to cause more stress in the relationship? Let's face it, love has little to due with legally binding documents. It is probably the most unromantic thing one can think of at age 40.
The truth is if you are still single, even in your 30's, then you have had some difficult times in relationships. It is not like you are highschool sweethearts or something. Basically it is two very experienced people who have learned a lot about themselves and life, and are not concerned with the politics. Who cares what the government, family, and friends think at this point? Unless you plan on having children then marriage is not a smart move in my opinion.
I am not forty yet, so I have a few years left. The only reason I am concidering marriage at my age is because I am still thinking about starting a family. After I reach an age where that is something I would prefer not to do, then marriage will be out of the question. At that point it is about two people simply trusting in each other, and if they can't do that, then they shouldn't have a relationship. Furthermore, breakups are commonplace in our society. If you happen to breakup, then you won't have to worry about it, both people can just move on. What's yours is yours and whats mine is mine, and life goes on.
I noticed that you were upset that guys were talking about divorce when you were wondering about marriage. The fact is, they are very much part of the same conversation. That is the whole issue. Guys don't want to go through a divorce, hence they shy away from marriage. That IS the answer to your question, even though you might not like to hear it. I don't think you will get a more honest response than what has been being posted here. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/12/2006 7:21:26 PM | | Actually sparticuss I do. My dad was irish and greek when my grandad died he still looked in his mid thirties. We seem to be a young appearing family. Same with my mother's parents. Also if you are going to troll do it to someone who actually cares. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/13/2006 4:56:50 AM | No propasal taken, and when we desperately search for anything we never seem to find it anyways.  What does long term mean to you, or any of us? Maybe POF needs to add a "Marraige or Bust" heading/
I am over 35 and yes I am interested in a very long term, committed relationship that would include marraige if both of us desired that. Been married and hve been in long term no marraige relationships and both had one thing in common, NO not endings, they were mutually supporting to the two of us.
Yes there are a few of us out here that are Serious about marraige. But it still comes down to what is desired by both. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/13/2006 10:32:06 AM | Hi Destined! I totally agree with you regarding your message. Again the reason for my post was because I just seem to find the men (and some friends that I have on here) that say they want it all eventually but then just lead you on. Want you to be seeing only them and then you find out there are 4 or 5 others they are seeing.
I was upset with the guy that was talking about divorce because he made it look like I was asking something I should be aware of. That any normal man over 35 that has gone through a messy divorce would BLAST a woman for even asking.
He took my question out of context and from other messages on here by men.. NOT all men that are divorced and over 35 are BITTER!!
You make some good points and I would rather live with someone before getting married and if it was working fine and neither one felt the need to marry then fine. Even though I do want a child I don't need a marriage certificate to do it. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/13/2006 10:39:14 AM | Hi Jailer... well said. And to answer your question.. to me long term means that there is a commitment there and that doesn't have to lead to the alter. To some men .. they will not only date 1 woman. They feel trapped. Which is fine, but when placing profiles one should be totally honest. I have seen some on here that are so blunt about there likes/dislikes/what there woman must look like (and if your not as described, don't bother emailing them). I like that!! They are telling you before hand about themselves. It's the ones that tell you what they think you wanna hear, oh how they want kids, marriage, spend time with their families (when they don't even talk to each other), they like sports, until you want to watch or go to an event and then they say they hate sports. It's the lying I can't stand.
In my experiences it's been will men over the age of 35 so again that was my reason to post. It was simply a question as to are some serious or are many men over 35 players. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 5/28/2006 9:52:50 PM | Leaf chick
I've checked a few profiles myself and most of them are something more like
Looking for friendship, possible long term.
I've also looked through any number of female profiles and they have blocks on anybody who is only looking for e mail, or hang out,
So leaf chick
What I am seeing is an avalanche of women who are desperate for marriage and still kiddding themselves that its some automatic soloution to all of lifes problems.
And the brains of these women ONLY notice the words "long term" in male profiles and tune out the rest. | |
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