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| | Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?Page 4 of 43 (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43) | I am so glad you asked that question! I am wanting to meet the right one to and get married and grow old in every way.I dated a guy for 4 years and raised his daughter full time. He proposed and when I tried to set a date, he wanted nothing to do with it I was a convience to raising his child. Never will that happen again. Going back to the old fashion way.We date we like we marry then we have sex. in that order too. I want every thing a relationship has to offer. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/20/2006 5:07:27 PM | Are you off your rocker. I have no idea what the hell your talking about. I have only ever dated men that have been divorced with kids and I must admit that none of them have been as hatefull as you. I really don't care about dad's in distress to be frank!
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Leaf chick
I've little doubt that you have NEVER heard a man talk like me. The fact is that the stuff I'm putting in here is quite mild. When groups of divorced men get together, ALONE, and the talk swings to divorce damaged and damaged men then that talk is a thousand times more hateful than anything that I've posted.
Leafchick This is important.
I'm not talking about hate, and I'm not a misoginist. I'm talking about just how seriously mens emotions are REALLY damaged during the average divorce.
Why don't they talk about it?
Because millions of women like leafchick fly off the handle and start abusing them if they do.
One in thirteen divorced men suicides. About one in five atempts it. ALL suffer massive damage during divorce.
The real miracale is that any of them EVER get back into dating at all. Many do not.
And any girl who is unaware of this hasn't got a hope of finding a bf, long term, after 35. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/20/2006 7:22:08 PM | There are plenty of guys over 35 looking to get married. I am one of them. Unforunately we ones that are are often the ones that are overlooked by women that are specifically looking for marriage.
The funny thing is that they:
-We often dissmissed because we have not gone through the "starter marriage" yet, and are treated like something is wrong with them.
-We are the ones that don't need to become a womans make-over project.
-We are the ones that were concidered ncie in the past and were overlooked then and now. The ones that would make great fathers are deemed to be not ambitious enough.
-Just becasue we work in technology and the skilled trades women dissmiss us as "nerds", "Homer Simpson", "......That guy that works in a factory.....", and "Just another grease monkey".
-We may not sweep a woman off thier feet right away, yet women never give us a chance becasue a spark has to be felt right away.
-When we say we are interested in a long term relationship, we are not lying, and that scares some women.
-We are happy and content with themselves. Women are convinced that something is wrong with them.
I have experienced all the above. Any one else like to add? | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/20/2006 7:38:09 PM | | My buddy just went overseas and got married to a lady he only knew online. I'm happy for him but I don't see a guy who's head over heels in love. He was LOOKING to get married....and did. I, on the other hand, want to fall crazy in love with a sweet girl who melts my heart with one look.......and I think that type of girl would have to be in my life for a while as a good freind, then girlfriend...... then if I'm the luckiest guy on the planet..my wife. So, guys....look for a friend not a wife......just my opinion. Later ! | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/20/2006 8:20:53 PM | Yes, we are out here!
Unfortunately for me, by the time I was ready... I was this old! LOL
It took me several years of dating to find out what I wanted in a person to share my life with... and I'm still looking! Don't they call that "picky"?
It also took me several years to find out who "I" was, and get to a place in life that I could be a good partner/husband/father.
I also think it's especially difficult if you are over 35 and want to start a family... not many women are thrilled with the idea when they're over 35, and if they're in prime baby-making yrs... there's a generational gap that's hard to overlook.
I have hope though, and it's one of the reasons I'm here looking!
Best of luck to everyone in their search! | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/20/2006 10:58:27 PM | The funny thing is that they:
-We often dissmissed because we have not gone through the "starter marriage" yet, and are treated like something is wrong with them.
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Paticularly by the females on these very boards. Have you had a look at the crap that is relularly posted about "mommys boys" who are 35 and still living with the parents.
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-We are the ones that were concidered ncie in the past and were overlooked then and now. The ones that would make great fathers are deemed to be not ambitious enough.
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Not quite. There are a few, genuinely battered wives, who have finally matured enough to realise that a "nice" guy is what they want. not what they say they want. What they actually do want
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-We may not sweep a woman off thier feet right away, yet women never give us a chance becasue a spark has to be felt right away.
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Any sporting star or rock star will trigger a "spark" in a womans lions. Thats not what long term or committment is about.
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/20/2006 11:13:09 PM | Not quite. There are a few, genuinely battered wives, who have finally matured enough to realise that a "nice" guy is what they want. not what they say they want. What they actually do want
Do we have to be genuinely battered?? How about just genuine? | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 4:59:46 AM | Do we have to be genuinely battered?? How about just genuine?
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You have to be genuinely battered Mermaid.
If you were genuine a guy or ten, with half a brain, would have snapped you up and proposed to you by the time you were 20. And you would have had the brains to recognise a good man when you saw one and would have accepted.
The genuinely battered wives were shallow, brainless, bimbos, when they got married. They excused the bashing with "but he loves me" or better still "at least hes a real man" Bruises and scars have knocked some sense into the girls over time and they end up seeking nice guys and NOT real men.
I'm talking their definisitons of real men here, not mine.
My definition of a real man is somebody who rides his Harley home from his vasectomy. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 6:30:18 AM | Wow that last was something...a great line no matter whether we agree with things sometimes or not...I loved that one..am still smiling. May I use it?
Once someone tried to knock his sense into mine..I did not find it manly. Found it cowardly. There was no excuse and there was no but he loves me or he is a real man...pity perhaps years later.
I think people get comfortable and if they are going to move aside some and make room for someone else be it the couch, the bed or sharing the remote control he/she must be extremely special..can't imagine life without. At the very least a best-friend who you feel passionately about and devoted to.
Otherwise its easy to see where a lady becomes a cat lady...and a man becomes a toy collector. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 9:29:05 AM | | I think a lot of us guys over 35 are still willing to give marriage a chance. Speaking as someone whose been married and divorced, I think the circumstances of the divorce come into mind for most people. I dated a woman for almost a year who came out of a bad relationship and was happy being single, living on her own with no plans of ever living with someone or ever wanting to be married again. She was happy living alone and was not willing to change that for anyone. I on the other hand had different circumstances on my divorce and it did not spoil me on marriage. My X and myself both have a part in raising our children and although we aren't social, we remain friendly. I don't think of dating as a search for a potential new wife, but a way to meet new people with the possibility of friendship or maybe more. If I met the right woman, I would want to eventually get married again. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 10:00:24 AM | Although a bit crude, Sparticuss said a big truth.
A woman in her twenties will have her pick of men. A woman in her late thirties and up, won't. Why? Because most men in her age range are already married, divorced and wary or, if actively looking, they're looking for a younger woman.
"There are no good men left" a woman will say. Well, why didn't she choose one when she had the chance? When she was younger, there were plenty of good men who would have loved to marry her, but she was too busy.
But one day, she realizes that her attractive is fading, her tits are starting to sag and the phone doesn't ring as before. THEN, she decides that her partying days are over and she wants a good, non-judgemental man.
Or else, when she was her twenties chose Brutus Biker because he was oh-so exciting, and now that she's older and he discarded her and their children for a younger bimbo, she wants somebody else to pick his leftovers.
Or a third possibility, she married the good man when younger, but she felt she needed some excitement in her life, so she divorced him. After all, there are plenty of men out there that are a lot better and more exciting than a loyal but boring husband.
But hey, something strange happens. There are good, attractive men out there, but they don't want her. She's too old, says one. She has children, says other. She has baggage, says a third one. But it can't be. She's as attractive as before. It must be men's fault. How do they dare to want a forehead without lines? How do they dare to want a nice body? How do they dare to want children of their own? How do they dare to judge my previous actions? HOW DO THEY DARE?
Well dearie, let me shock you: They DARE.
That nice guy who asked you to marry when you were 21, and you rejected because there was no tingling beneath your underwear. The other good man that you rejected because he was too square and boring. The nerd that was invisible for you in college but who worked hard and now owns a company. Seriously girl, did you really think any of them would wait for you until you grew out of partying, or finished building your career, or were dumped by Brutus?
Hot news: He didn't wait. Or if waited, he didn't wait for you.
It's like somebody who arrives very late to a party, and complains because the buffet was already eaten. If you were really interested, you would have arrived early. | |
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MzNyx
| | Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 90 | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 10:52:39 AM | There are so many different possibilities in regards to a womans past present future..doesn't seem fair to list three and then done there it is.
Should I list three possibilities about the man?? Is that fair to all men?
I was married twice in my life. Felt the need to keep good relationship for child with first ex. Who wasn't a bad guy necessarily we were just too young. Both of us. But there was a huge moment of upset and loss of respect and that was it. We learned to communicate as we raised our child as friends in a way rather then as married. I also communicate with his wife.
I took the good and left the rest in regards to my second marriage. The man who thought his sense made sense...If anything gentlemen S and S most especially..I am the one who should be weary of marriage, men, romance, passion, friendship, compassion all of it. If my personality changes and I grow bitter due to some experiences who wins? If I am able to communicate and share experiences without having had the need to change the positive for a bitter shield of false protection, then I do and so do the people in my life.
I seem to attract the never married before 30-45 something man..they think I am younger then I am without children at first. Then after some dates..get scared think I (women)want half of there time, money, freedom??
he saw women as the enemy in a strange way. I have no interest in spending my next decade as a mans shrew nor spending it with a male shrew either. What a waste. My dreams are way better then that..
I also understand sparticuss and simbad that I have left myself vulnerable to some slams.
I did not change that part of myself either. Just how I received it. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 11:38:03 AM | Looks like an interesting subdiscussion on the subject has been added. After attending several singles events with some friends, we got the impression that every woman we met between 30 and 40 at the event was so picky and judgemental that no man would ever be good enough for her. What wsa advertised as a nice relaxing way to meet new people, turned out to be a long drawn out affair with the women dissmissing most of the guys as "Not up to par" (I overheard this at the bar), and the guys we met saying why bother.
We could have gone to a bar for the same experience for much less. We will not attend those events anymore.
I would like to explain this pickyness explained. I fear that those picky, judgemental women will be alone for a very long time. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 11:58:19 AM | You see Mermaid, it's not a question of what's fair for men. Or what's fair for women. It's simply that you, me, anybody, must learn to live with the consequences of our own actions. Also, the lines below are general and are not intended to single you in any way. In fact, none of my previous posts had you as target.
Nowadays it's almost forbidden to think ahead. We are pounded by "live the moment" messages. Party now, let tomorrow take care of itself. Well, the tomorrow indeed took care of itself. And sometimes, it didn't include us.
Are those messages to blame? NO. Those of us who took them seriously, are to blame.
If a man squandered his youth and strength and now is an old, penniless man, it's his responsibility. If a woman squandered her youth and beauty and now nobody wants her, it's her responsibility. A man would probably admit that he's the only one to blame if his life is a failure. A woman, in the other hand, would probably blame "the patriarchy", "the media", "sexist beauty standards", "men's shallowness", etc. Don't tell me it's not true, a simple search here in POF will show I'm accurate.
So,
Why to bash men who want somebody younger?
Why to bash men who don't want other men's children?
Why to bash men who want somebody physically different to her?
Why to bash men who take in account what she is and her past?
The answer is very simple:
Because if she didn't, she would look at the mirror and the old, used-up, lonely, out-of-shape woman who looks back would blame her. And that's something she can't face.
And you know what is the saddest thing of all?
That, if she really wanted, she would get out of the hole. But she has this "I'm so wonderful, so it's men's fault" mentality so engrained that she actively sabotages herself. Again, from POF:
"I don't need to change"
"I won't settle"
"A real man(tm) would accept me as I am"
"I KNOW I'm attractive. I simply KNOW"
"Only what is inside matters"
"Men only want barbie dolls"
"I DESERVE ..."
"Men who don't date single moms are immature jerks"
"Men feel threatened by strong women"
So, men's patience well has dried out. If she thinks so highly of herself, she can go to a mountaintop and stay there. She won't be missed. | |
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nelcus
| | Joined: 8/13/2005
Msg: 94 | |
| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 12:25:26 PM | Hi all,
I am really new to this forum and what a great conversation to get my feet wet. I will throw my two cents in here. Firstly I was divorced at 25 years of age when I was in the military. She said she couldn't handle the military life! Would have been good to know well before we got married (FYI dated for 3 years while I was in the military so she already knew about the lifestyle). Follow up, she married a fellow military brat! How's that for revenge?.
Secondly, when I finally got back into the dating scene, I always met the girls that were attracted to the bad-boy types! What the hell is up with that?
As a guy, I have many female friends that are single and in their mid to late 30's and they meet guys that are totally NOT their type! All (most) of these ladies all say why can't we meet guys like you? From what I am reading on here, there a whole bunch of guys wanting long term relationships leading to possible marriage. So the real question is how these guys hook up with these women. Firstly, judging people by their picture before words may not be the best way to start. I am just as guilty of this when I a beautiful woman.
Now, one of the guys on here posted something to the tune that because he works in technology, women look at him as a geek. I agree with his statement. You should try and be an accountant and face the stigma that goes with that! No, I do not have pocket protectors and no I do not crunch numbers in the closet all day!
I understand both sides of this story, but (generally stated) woman should not claim that men over 35 don't want to get married and they are only trying to have sex. We all have needs but let's face it, woman are playing this game just as well as men.
From my experience, women want to try out the bad boys and then when they get hurt, the guys they once overlooked are now looking good. This is a general statement and not meant to stereotype everyone. Before you say it, yes, guys do this too.
Just thought I would throw that out there! Cheers | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 12:44:21 PM | | I say yes there are. But, anyone over 35 has learned their lesson on the (starter marriage) . Love that starter marriage line! lol I think men and women both take time and want to be sure.Personally I'm not afraid of being taken for anything with the pre-nups and all. And (That dog don't hunt anymore). Just shooting blanks...................... I think most of us on here are not in any huury. Just waiting for it to happen. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 2:37:15 PM | I am a woman Sinbad in general terms I fit in that group. A woman who understands you weren't targeting me personally..I just was responding because I am a woman and felt the need to come to some kind of defence/understanding for woman kind..even though sometimes I myself don't understand the anger of some women...or men for that matter.
This is what ages "you/us" when you look in the mirror..bitterness, anger, resentment and no sunscreen.
I do love mountains..I feel so free when I am on top looking over the world.
So if that is my destiny, I am okay with that. I feel I have some time even though I am over or at that critical age..where I might be looked at as??? darn I forgot but it wasn't on the plus side.
Stay true to your heart. That is a fountain. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/21/2006 8:50:42 PM | In this day and age there are so many different variences of what people want that alot of men really do want long term with marriage potential. The problem is that men are gun shy the ones who want it are afraid to tell the girl for fear that she will run, and he will have f***ed up a good thing. it will take time for you to get a guy to trust that your not going to bolt at the first chance you get if he lets his emotional side show through. but if you manage to get it out of him you will find that marriage is something he is not opposed to.
I personally would love to meet a woman for longterm, w/ marriage potential. i believe in the institution of marriage but it doesnt work when only one person wants to make a lifetime commitment. "it takes two" | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:21:12 AM | | Hi I just wanted to say that all men arent just looking for sex. I am a single father of 2 children that live with me and I can say that I am looking for a long term relationship and possibly marriage. I dont understand why sex is such an important part of dating these days and dont understand why relationships have degraded to the point of having sex as a prerequsite of a relationship. For me if the woman wants to have sex after just a couple of dates she is out, not that I dont love to have sex its just if i am going to spend the rest of my life with someone I dont want to wonder how many other men have been in my shoes, or bed lol.Hope you find what you are looking for and I know that there are some good guys out there who are willing to settle down with a good woman. | |
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| Any men over 35 seriously looking to get married?
Posted: 7/22/2006 9:11:32 AM | I think one of the problems with men over 35 wanting to get married is that so many of them have been burnt by women. Especially when some, notice I didn't say all, women really push the commitment thing. Just read a post by a woman that has been talking to someone online & wants to know if she should be bothered that he still checks his email. Geeez! I don't think it's so much that they don't want to get married, it's just that they are a little more cautious when they meet people. I would love to meet "the one", but that's the point, how am I going to know that this person is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with in a couple of conversations, or even a few dates. And men have been doing the "try & sleep with you" thing since they learned what it is. You gotta get beyond that. If it doesn't, time to move on. | |
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