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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????      Home login  
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 Yahh ROO Giddy Up
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 76
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NYET NO NYET
HELL NO
SHIT NO
FARK NO
 workerbee68
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 77
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Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:54:22 AM
It is complicated, but you have to go about like the mafia. You have to approach the friend and get their blessing and sometimes (if you really want to get with that person) offer token gifts or bribes to the friend. Without that taking place it is just plain wrong and disrespectful which could lead to your early dimise. Remember I said you have to treat the situation like the mafia.
 Bk2
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 78
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 1:36:26 AM
Is it OK to Date your Best Friend's X????


Definitely Not in my Books!!!! Period.

0:)


PS Hope you do the right thing.


 JulietJuliet
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 79
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 1:37:12 AM
No, it's not ok to date your BEST friends ex. It's asking for trouble..... end of story.
 PreciousGem3
Joined: 8/25/2006
Msg: 80
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 5:06:48 AM
no never. mates b4 dates always x

ps. altho i have dated a numba of my ex's mates lol! seems the rules r different 4 guys! x
 METALLlC BLUE
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 81
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 6:53:09 AM
Generally, no. Not so much. I didn't speak to my best friend for the better part of 10 years because he decided to start dating my ex not less than two days after we had separated. When I told him how I fel about it he said "So what, it's no big deal." -- That was a high level of disrespect, and the fact that he didn't even think what he was doing was inconsiderate was unfortunate.

The price he paid, was 10 years, and even now, it's not the same.
 singleguy64
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 82
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 9:10:41 AM
^ Agreed MetallicBlue, two days, and him not respecting your feelings, is not a sign of a "friend" in my book.

I was thinking more in terms of several years, and to me being the friend, asking you beforehand what your feelings were with it. If you were ok with it, then I would see no reason why not to pursue it. If you were *not* ok with it, then I would probably value the friendship more than trying to pursue a relationship I knew would be an issue and potentially kill our friendship. To me, asking the friend is a sign of respect, going behind their back knowing they were your ex is a sign of disrespect.

Its all a matter of values & respect. To me, a friend should want their friends to be happy, so in that sense if they were happy together I would be ok with it (although it might be awkward for a while if I was out with the two of them, I'm a mature adult and should be able to handle it). On the flip side, if the "friend" doesn't respect my feelings, or at least shows concern (ie, asking) then I'm not so sure I'd consider them a "friend" anymore.
 Yahh ROO Giddy Up
Joined: 9/1/2006
Msg: 83
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:27:53 PM
Mettalic - my thoughts are - he was never a real friend to begin with if he can do that to you
 Eric-s Smokin Hottie
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 84
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:34:11 PM
My friends and I have always had an unwritten rule that each other's exes was off-limits, could never betray any of my friendships in that way.
 mheath4
Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 85
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:48:50 PM
Didn't you see that "Man Law" commercial?

Burt Renolds: If she's breaking up with your best friend, she's breaking up with you....forever.

Other dude: What if she's drop-dead gorgeous?

Burt: Alright, 6 months.
 LNE
Joined: 12/21/2005
Msg: 86
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 4:56:37 PM
Ummm, no. lol. I had it happen to me as well. I dated a guy for nearly two years, we broke up and two months later my best friend was sleeping with him. As you stated, needless to say she is no longer my best friend either. It is just not cool.
 METALLlC BLUE
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 87
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 5:17:12 PM
Yahh, I agree man. We were young, and he was foolish.
 crazynewf25
Joined: 3/15/2005
Msg: 88
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 5:28:44 PM
hahaha....I had it happen that a friend did that to me, started going after my ex...I stepped back and let him learn on his own why things didn't work with her and I.

Anyway, I don't think it's cool that a friend gets with an ex....growing up I had a close circle of friends, we always had an unwritten rule; you didn't go after a friends gf, ex or potential gf. I know people may say, "hey, we're all adults and there shouldn't be a problem if things didn't work out with you guys, whats the big deal?" Well the reason I wouldn't get with a friends ex is just a show of respect for a friends feelings....it boils down to the saying....Girlfriends (or bf's whatever the case may be) come and go, friends you need for life!
 NightLark
Joined: 3/14/2006
Msg: 89
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Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 10/26/2006 8:03:02 PM
Why wouldn't it be OK? There are no referees in life. No one "owns" anyone else. One man's trash is another man's treasure. If you consider that vicariously you are all friends or at least like each other you may be different enough yet similar enough to cultivate success where there was failure, then why not? Commiseration is not fun. Be happy in someone else's success where you failed.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 90
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 11/6/2006 11:17:27 PM
Ain't really your best friend if you can touch a person who your "best" friend touched. It's cool to be good friends, but actually have a relationship? So much for loyalty.
 Hottest_of_the_Hot
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 91
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 11/7/2006 1:14:25 AM
NO, NO, NO! It is NEVER ok to date your bestfriend's or friend's ex for that matter...it's just wrong. It's just taboo...and who wants " leftovers "? Furthermore, don't we have a saying such as " Chicks before d*cks "? It's just a saying...but it still points to one fundamental thing : You just don't do your friends' exes.
 gonzofanmel
Joined: 10/3/2006
Msg: 92
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Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 12/19/2006 9:43:28 AM
No way. No how. No day. Under no circumstances whatsoever.
 jvrooman
Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 93
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:02:24 AM
I guess if your best friend offers his/her blessings then go for it. A relationship thats like oil and water for one couple might be great for another. Then again, I'd suggest contemplating the consequences of entering into such a relationship
 Drago13
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 94
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:03:55 AM
I think we have all forgotten what the term EX means....just that...Expartner.....so if you have feelings for your EX.....you need to think about that...otherwise...I agree with one of the gals above.....let him or her go and move on......
 cam61
Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 95
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:06:17 AM
I had a friend try to do this to me once, even after I warned him in no uncertain terms that it was not ok. We are no longer friends.
 Millie4x4
Joined: 12/14/2006
Msg: 96
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:14:14 AM
I am thinking I would have to say NO....but someone posted about small towns and he is right you really can't avoid it. I lived in a town of 400 ppl and I think my best friend dated everyone I did at one point or another but at that point it didn't matter cause it was high school BS. Now though it's a definite no. I would probably never talk to her again. It would be way too uncomfortable. But hey that is just my opinion...what do I know.
Millie
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 97
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Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:44:57 AM
Why wouldn't it be OK? There are no referees in life. No one "owns" anyone else. One man's trash is another man's treasure. If you consider that vicariously you are all friends or at least like each other you may be different enough yet similar enough to cultivate success where there was failure, then why not? Commiseration is not fun. Be happy in someone else's success where you failed.

This is very true. What matters is what this man/woman feels for your friend's ex. Its a crime to stand in the way of two people that love each other and make them feel miserable. Besides, they will do it anyways, regardless of the consequences. First of all, no one has exclusive rights or patents over a person. Second, we're not teenagers anymore. Third, what happened in the past, stays in the past and its the best friend's problem. I have never come across this situation myself, but I'm man enough to assume that I can fail and also succeed. It would also depend of the reasons why we broke up and if we remain friends or not. If a great friend of mine can make a former girlfriend happier than I did, that's what matters.

Last minute edit: It would also depend on the time. If they got together years later, months later... This is another factor.
 angel121
Joined: 4/27/2006
Msg: 98
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 12/20/2006 2:18:20 PM
I have dated my mates ex girlfriend,but it only lasted 5 weeks.After i had decerated the house,fixed the bathroom,fixed the leak in the kitchen foof,laid new carpet in the bedrooms,and got me a carparking fine £60 and borrowed £100 for trainers for her son.She said bye-bye"i think it is not working".I felt like SHIT.And i found out she only went out with me to make her ex jealous,so he would go out with her again.And it worked,but they are no longer mates.Life is crap sometimes.But what does not kill ya makes ya stronger.
DAN
 cdnrednk
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 99
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 12/20/2006 2:42:06 PM
A buddy of mine wanted me to date his ex!
And she was a GORGEOUS girl and we got along very well. I didn't know either of them while they were together.
His theory, was he wanted her with a great guy so he wanted us to date because he thought we would be happy.
So, it was thought about but never happened, I knew too much about their past sex life for one thing... Plus she was too hot for pretty well any guy lol.
 originaltoyou
Joined: 11/20/2006
Msg: 100
Is It OK to Date your Best Friend's X?????
Posted: 12/20/2006 3:34:01 PM
There are so many emotional implications that make it complicated.
In an ideal world...everything would be alright and accepted by all parties as long as there's true respect and really no bad intentions, only real mutual love involved , but this ain't no ideal world and there's too many partners possible for you to risk a great friendship !
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