| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/16/2006 1:18:42 PM | I know he's out there "Daylil", the problem is, will he be the one I should be waiting for?
I lost at love before, and it hurt so bad, this one, I don't know, I am ready to just say, it's
not worth all the pain already I have been suffering. This new guy, has so many issues to work out. But don't we all...? I really have to think about if I want to even get involved again.![]() | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/16/2006 1:22:41 PM | | I think it is better not to have loved. If what you 'lost' was only the lover that wouldn't be a big deal, however losing your home, car, boat, business, furniture, mind, self-esteem, faith in humanity, dreams and goals isn't worth the fleeting experience. Hope this answers your question! | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/16/2006 1:37:17 PM | I heard this quote somewhere...
Celebrate the pain of a broken heart, it lets you know that you are human and capable of loving another. So… I will celebrate this pain hoping that someday it will turn from sorrow to joy.
It takes the sorrows in life that help us really appreciate the joys! I, for one, definately think it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. After all, what is life, but the pursuit of happiness and love? Never to have experienced that for fear of getting hurt is not really living at all.
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/16/2006 5:55:09 PM | aww sorry staggy... didnt know it was ur secret...lol..i wont tell if u dont.  but in all honest...i've gotten to the point...it will happen when u least expect it...so they say...but now i seem to carry a wall...ughhhhhhhh...
staggy...work on urself...take as long as u need..an when ur done....only u can say an will feel very much better bout urself. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/16/2006 8:09:48 PM | Funny you should ask, as I have been pondering this very question about my current relationship !
If I completely give in to loving with my whole entire heart (and believe me I want too - he is soooo worth it) and not hold anything back, I am absolutely terrifed of the utter devastation I will feel if it doesn't work out.
And it's not that I expect this relationship to fail - I have never been with such an amazing person who I honestly do trust with my whole heart!
For me, it's not a matter of trust but more so "once bitten, twice shy." It's just that I never again want to spend each day just waiting for night to come so I can go to sleep and stop missing for a few hours, someone who completely betrayed me.
In the end, I have concluded that living life to the fullest means experiencing ALL of life - the highs and the lows and to do this you must give in and experience love (& loss)!
And frankly - I don't think I could stop this evergrowing feeling even if I wanted to - it's like a juggernaut!
Love really is that powerful... | |
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Sarahv
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Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 81 | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/16/2006 9:01:23 PM | When Tennyson penned this line, he was grieving over the death of a close friend. It has morphed from being about the death of a close friend to being about romantic love. Not sure that in any of these contexts there is a 'good' answer.
The death of anyone, friend or lover, is never good. That said, in this context(loss of friend): if we never knew the friend would we still have the regret? I'm not certain.
As for the more popular application of the line(the loss of romantic love), I think a person who has never been in love would be filled with regret and sorrow for never having found it. And the one who had found it and lost it would forever grieve over the relationship being dead and may very well doom every other relationship by trying to relive the one that is gone.
May none of you ever experience any of this. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 7:51:19 AM | | I agree with you 100% MR.TOSCOTTM......If you lose alot od self being and all that goes along withg that...Then you are better off without it...I hear these people going from one relationship to another...What a waste of time.......I could never live that way....Life is to short for that. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 10:01:30 AM | I have heard the phrase "Ignorance is BLISS" this is where I feel I can't just jump
into another relationship. As much as that ... 'oh so wonderful feeling', abounds. drats,
I think, I left that back in the 80's somewhere...
and I am sooo PO'd with my ex in regards to giving him those almost 20 years!! And
for what...I thought it was for " to love, honor and in sickness and in health stuff, blah, blah, blah.... hah!
I must have been in the wrong marriage all along... lol. Well at least I still have my
sense of humor and my daughter, you know the important stuff... It would jsut be
nice to find a person on the same level, nothing else intended, humor, intell. and integrety...is that asking for too much now a days...oh... and honesty. sorry
maybe..huh? I am being a wise acker here... sorry I can't even spell anything..
go figure...!!
Taqurit, I am hearing you loud and clear .... It's coming back to a trust issue again...but who are we trusting ourselves or them..??!! | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 11:35:51 AM | well I can see what you are saying in half of this...as I still feel as I am living, as I have loved and will again. Just will do so more in hopefully a "better way", if there is such a thing, lol.
and don't feel like I have lost anything but time...that I regret, can't do anything about that. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 11:36:38 AM | well I can see what you are saying in half of this...as I still feel as I am living, as I have loved and will again. Just will do so more in hopefully a "better way", if there is such a thing, lol.
and don't feel like I have lost anything but time...that I regret, can't do anything about that. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 12:31:53 PM | | To feel love you have to first feel the pain... Is it worth the tears and remorse? Did you learn from it, and know what not to seak the next time? In my past I didnt have an open heart going into things, for I was to weak to handle the chance of pain. Then I relized I was hurting myself a lot more by not letting my wall down.... | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 1:53:12 PM | | Learn from what?...How screw up people can be....As far as seaking...I think people should be sincere at first(instead of all the friggin games)...As far as the question...I think your better off without it...And going by the divorce rate here in FL....72%...I am not missing nothing...I work in construction work..And what few guys that are married are looking to get out of it..I do not know about the rest of you...But i think love is important in a marriage...Or maybe i am missing something.....Then i ask the guys that did get married if they would do it all over again....And everyone of them stated they love their house a hell alot more than their wifes...In other words they would have never got involved with their wifes to start with...And bitter is not the word for it....these same men state that they will have girfriends and dates..But they will never fall in love and all that comes with it...They rather stay single than to deal with that again..... | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 2:15:15 PM | I think you have to use your best judgement about what you are getting into. If you think the person is worth investing your time and your love with then why not take a chance? On the other hand, if they are married maybe it's best to forget them and look for a new person to take a chance on. I read a poem once that talks about taking risks, I'm sure some people have seen it before but I will post it. It's one of my favorites.
Risking Freedom
By Leo Buscaglia
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk being called sentimental.
To reach out to another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk showing your true self.
To place your ideas and your dreams
before them is to risk being called naive.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair, and to try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken,
because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing,
does nothing, has nothing,
is nothing and becomes nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but he simply cannot learn
and feel and change and grow and love and live.
Chained by his certitudes,
he is a slave,
he's forfeited his freedom
Only the person who risks is truly free | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 2:15:38 PM | I hear you tarheel,, and I also learned one thing in my 2 marriages, I probably would
still be married if we hadn't of bought that last house...with the large mortgage!! WE
were so happy till then.. maybe next time I will stay very happily single in love with someone!!...smile. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 2:25:25 PM | | I wish you luck^^^^^^Personally i never got married in my life...After all i went through with women that claim they want to be friends and grow,Then after a few months she is with mr. jerk...(ex-cons,abusers,drunks,no car/license,bums)...Then i gave up years ago...I could careless...I got better things to do with my time than to waste it on this so called love and romance.... | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 2:36:30 PM | As much as it sounds like it, I am not ready for a relationship at this time...
I am enjoying my life just as it is, it's been wonderful being single, after bein'
isolated for so long...thanks for the words of the encourgement thou.... | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 3:18:52 PM |
behind deep blue eyes on 5/16/2006 1  17 PM I heard this quote somewhere... Celebrate the pain of a broken heart, it lets you know that you are human and capable of loving another. So… I will celebrate this pain hoping that someday it will turn from sorrow to joy. It takes the sorrows in life that help us really appreciate the joys! I, for one, definately think it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. After all, what is life, but the pursuit of happiness and love? Never to have experienced that for fear of getting hurt is not really living at all.
As an infant I had shut my feelings down so much, that I never learned to love anyone or feel much of anything. I learned not to feel, it is much safer because feeling allows one to be hurt.
I don't think I have ever really felt "Love" for anyone. There was one woman that I am not sure if it was love or what, but I think it was about as close to "Love" as I could ever feel for someone. When she died I lost something inside myself. I will never feel or want to feel the same feelings for anyone else. As the Meatloaf song says "I want you, I need you, but I am never going to love you."
I envy those who are able to love freely. As far as I am concerned, I wish I had never even had my close call with love. It hurts too much, even the little that I felt. So Never loving is much better....
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/17/2006 3:41:33 PM | That is such a good question,and a hard one to answer.Sometimes I am so glad I have had the opportunity to really love someone,and have that love returned...but you dont miss nor crave what you never had!.so sometimes..I wished I never experience a great "love",because I miss it. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/18/2006 3:04:44 AM |
That is such a good question,and a hard one to answer.Sometimes I am so glad I have had the opportunity to really love someone,and have that love returned...but you dont miss nor crave what you never had!.so sometimes..I wished I never experience a great "love",because I miss it.
Thats my feelings exactly. I don't miss the experience of "Love" because I've never been there. I don't think having a girlfriend when I was 12/13 years old classes as "Love" so I can honestly say that I've not had it so I don't miss it. | |
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| Is it better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved?
Posted: 5/18/2006 5:09:20 AM | | oooo YES!!! I have been lucky to have loved and been loved by some very warm, passionate, intelligent, sexy, hot woman in my day....I have learned how to treat a lady, how a man should be treated, how to make passionate love and explore each others sexualities, how it hurts when you fight, and when you must part ways, how much time it can take to heal from some of those loves....some more than others, how life is short, people fickle, how that word 'fair' is just a fairytale word, how you cherish every moment because it couls be your last....one other thing, how its hard to live that fantasy there is just one mr / ms right, one lifetime partner, its very very rare for people to find thier soulmate / lifetime partner...they are the lucky few....yes we try to make a go of it and have a life together but 9 times out of 10 you never really know just how long that person will be in your life, due to not getting along, due to differences, due to losing a person to fibermalgia (opps hope I spelt that right). J | |
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