| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/1/2005 6:09:36 AM | fiddlenotes,
Your right, with few exceptions, friends are good for sending get-well cards when your sick. That’s not the same as companionship.
PS You don’t have a reason to be desperate… And if you see me, you don’t have to knock me in the head… I follow you…
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/1/2005 6:51:24 AM | | hutterfly, you know these things were never a part of the big plan. most of us planned to finish school, get married, have kids but like those who did have their lives as planned there are those of us destined for this kind of life arrangement, something none of us were taught to look forward to early on or prepare for, unlike how we were geared for the "normal" life. | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/1/2005 7:28:56 AM | Thank you for the compliment very private,  I did look at your profile - trying to figure out where in WVA that is. I'll just keep on doin' my thang, and if a good man happens along - that much better. He'd have to be a music lover, fo sho. | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/1/2005 8:46:26 AM | Oh, I'd love to have a plan. especially financial plan.
I know I'll always do better if I have a plan and try to reach it. New things, new directions, new friends, new thoughts, new excitments, new motivations...will come my way while I am working on my new plans. all of these New things make you want to explore more and learn more, your new abilities will develope and you are more knowledge... so, if life gives you a surprising "strock", you will be able to deal it better.
I may not be able to live my life as I planned, I may need to adjust my plans all the time, but still, it makes great difference between "no plans" and "planned". "not-prepared" and "well-prepared".
I knonw some people had plans to be millionaires but ended up as "homeless", some people had no such plans at all but have become millionaire... but these Random Samples would not discourage people from making plans
In the reality, people dont stop making their financial/retirement plans; although they know someone without plans has won $100 Million lottery.
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/1/2005 11:58:40 AM | fiddlenotes,
Im located due west of Pittsburgh, in the northern panhandle of the state.
To get the smiley face, you just have to smile when you type... SEE!! | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/2/2005 12:05:47 AM | VP - made me laugh - looks like Diamond head behind you're pic...(' ') Fiddlenotes: you wrote: 'if a good man happens along - that much better. He'd have to be a music lover, fo sho.' Don't you mean he'd have to be a music lover lover ?!!! 
and about squeaks mother-in-ex, at 70 getting married! Shameful. positively... note: positively, not negatively... and, yes, fiddlenotes, i'm seeking a little shame myself expand your humour, dearest, otherwise, i can't find anything to disagree with you about, and to me, that's a shames i enjoy the struggle
Ever the contrarian, i've found viewing things in their reverse is revealing: for instance, this thread could be stated: " Are you afraid of growing old with your self?" Not by your self - but with your self as opposed to being with someone else. Many of us don't like to be with our selves. No wonder we're alone, we don't like to be with our selves - so why should any one else be with us? Aloha, Sam | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/2/2005 12:47:37 AM | | not of growin old and not of alone, it's the 2 put together that bothers me, i mean growin old together has to be the worste! | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/2/2005 5:30:50 AM | there you go, vp - inside out - it's magic
yeah, sammy; a music lover lover; sounds good to me, and you're right, I tend to take things too literally at times. So, it's o.k. if I get married at 70? Do I HAVE to wait that long for a man?
Yesterday morning, something happened that kind of followed this discussion. You know how you can look at something bright and for a while, you see spots, or something like that? I had that yesterday morning, but it didn't go away. Very weird. My boss said it was an optical migraine, and I don't get migraines. But it just made me think about what would happen if I lost my sight and couldn't work and take care of myself (is this called hypochondria?). It did go away. | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/2/2005 6:46:01 AM | sam,
You’re right, that is Diamond head in the background… Hawaii, home of some of the most beautiful sites on the planet… Sam, you are indeed lucky. 
salamander,
Instead of “growin old together has to be the worste!” maybe “growin together old” might be better. – Just a thought. 
Fiddlenotes,
Some years ago, My ex went for her eye exam and the doctor made a miss-diagnosis. He told her that she was going to be blind with-in 5-7 years. She was very upset, we went to a specialist and everything was ok. I know what went thru your mind. It is a scary thought. Please have a doctor check you out even if it went away. | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/2/2005 6:48:23 AM | Once upon a time a friend of ours in the midst of a divorce used to come over and see us, she would ask questions all the time, but no matter what words actually came out of her mouth, the same question was at the core of every sentence she spoke, "Who's going to take care of me now?"
My grandmother stayed single for the rest of her life after my grandfather died, she purged him from her life in the sense that she didn't keep his junk around, and she moved on to a fulfilled life until her own death. My mom is doing the same since my dad died, she is content with friends and family to keep her busy - and she is BUSY.
Since my separation I can't help feeling that a lot of good friends around is the key. You can always cultivate new friendships, so there can be a fresh experience with every new person who comes into your life. I am not sure how to straddle the social boundaries of being friends with women when I am married. I have always been friends with women, and completely platonic friends at that; when I was married it seemed like there was a great wall there. Apparently someone made rules about that. I like not being married right now, and I have no fear of being alone in my old age, cuz I won't be.
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/2/2005 7:04:52 AM | Mac,
There’s some wisdom in your words. Just a rhetorical question though. “Do we really know what in your grandmother’s and your mother’s mind when they’re alone?”
I too have many acquaintances, but how many are real friends. One of the definitions of friends is when you’re in trouble, friends are the ones running toward you when everyone else is running away.
A share the same sentiments you have. I just think that a special relationship would make the twilight years of you life more enjoyable.
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/2/2005 8:00:46 AM | There have been moments of panic, when I think that perhaps I should have stayed married, so I would have someone to support me, if I couldn't do it myself. But, I try to just take one day at a time, and be thankful that I made it through another one. Financial support was all I really had from my ex - he was never even my friend and I was constantly being put down. I was supporting myself when I was 17, and I can do it now.
Thank you for being thoughtful and concerned about what I experienced yesterday, VP. I don't like to run to the Dr. with every little ache and pain, though. I agree with you that a special relationship would make the twighlight years more enjoyable. In the meantime, I have an active life with friends and music. If I couldn't play music, they might as well shoot me. | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/5/2005 9:36:47 AM | hmmmm I would rather grow old alone than be with someone that makes me very unhappy and die an old unhappy wicked witch! lol | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/5/2005 6:59:04 PM | I have too admit I am afraid of growing old alone (not just the day-to-day stuff and lonliness).
I had to stay home with the stomach flu for a couple of days a couple of weeks ago and it really scared me. I had to literally crawl on my hands and knees to call in sick and had to struggle just to feed myself.
I'd like to "I don't need nobody. I can look after myself" but, I'm not so sure I'll be able to say that in 20 or so years. | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/5/2005 11:42:29 PM | Yes... trying not to by being on this site....
not working thought.....
Alternative solution - Do a 'James Dean' you know... live fast, die (not so) young......... :(
Lifes not worth living if you don't have someone to care about and who cares about you.... May as well be feeding the worms.....
I'll give it a little while longer... still saving for the 'Little **stard'........ | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/6/2005 2:48:30 AM | | Yes, I am afraid. I'm 31 years old, never been married, no kids. I am increasingly the rarity, and it seemed to happen so suddenly. | |
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| Are you afraid of growing Old alone? Posted: 3/7/2005 10:49:10 AM | Not at all.................at tha WORST ,EVEN if all my future relationships turn out like my past ones......I will STILL have mANy friends.or atLEAST a faithfull ol'hound  | |
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