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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 1:32:28 PM | Men and women age, that's true. Does it mean we have the duty to date older people? NO.
If somebody avoids dating people over a certain age, they (men and women alike) are well within their rights, and nobody can say otherwise.
I don't care if you want to date younger women. Just DON'T try to tell me you are ENTITLED to it because all women over 35 are fat, lazy, uninteresting, wrinkled hags.
Most men over 40 are pretty unintersting to a fit, vibrant woman of ANY age....but I won't categorically refuse to date any man over 39 based on a generalization.
Too bad you don't seem to be able to read. Perhaps you are blinded by your delusions of importance?
Thank you for proving my point yet again. Men seem to be completely incapable to read a post by a woman without brandishing their clubs, even if she supported their right, as well as her own, to date whomever they wished. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 1:42:04 PM | | I would have to agree with the lady on this one. Men have issues with getting older, so the first thing they do is look for a young Woman. That's why they call it "mid life"...it's all about me, me, me.... | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 1:51:45 PM | No, I was blinded by your use of the word "misogynist" to brand those men who don't do what you think they should do. And I would like to know where is the "club" I brandished. In fact, did I say "I DESERVE younger women?" I don't think so. Did I say "I'm ENTITLED to younger women?" Again, no. So keep your "thanks for proving my point" to yourself.
What's the difference between your comment about older men being uninteresting and other people's comments about older women being lazy? Both of them make generalizations.
Somebody looks blinded by delusions of importance, indeed. And it's not me. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 2:03:45 PM | The dating scene is always changing, oldermen younger women, olderwomen yourger men, I try and look at what is in common and not the numbers, but with site dating we are forced to put numbers in the mix. So most of us have a starting and ending point. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 2:22:24 PM | And starting and ending points may change as we grow up... 
As long as there are some universal truths, there will always be exceptions to them, and those exceptions will work... :-)
There are so many factors included into whether two people get attracted to each other, and on what level.. that you can never say dating much older or younger men/women is not possible. And it's not wrong. The individual reasons and attitude may be wrong, but generally, love is not wrong.. :-) | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 2:34:51 PM | | That depends on a lot more than their age difference. A relationship between a 20 year old and 35 year old is less likely to work than between a 35 year old and someone 50. As you get more mature the age difference doesn't seem that great. I'm not looking to date someone more than ten years younger, but not saying I wouldn't if we were compatible. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 2:36:54 PM | I'm a woman in my 50's, have dated a lot of men, been single most of my adult life, and also am a psychotherapist - I 'm qualified to talk a lot aboaut this! A man in his 50's wanting ot fdate women 20 or 30 yrs younger is so very common. It's usually due tohis having a low self esteem and being very immature. He still wants to be a teenager, and is afraid of "getting old". Hew wants to a second chance to date the pretty girl he couldn't get when he was a teen or in his 20's because he was an ugly dork or didn't have a good enough car, job, etc.
The only young women who will date such an older man are looking for something, just as you're looking for sex and a feeling of power and regained youth (which nothing can bring back). So what do those younger women want from you? Money. If they can tell you don't have it to give, (or are stingy) they won't date you. Will it work? In your mind maybe it "works" if you can get her in the bed, which is all you want, right? Will it last? No. She will either take all the money she can get from you and leave, and/or while you're worn out asleep on the sofa at 8 pm, she'll slip away to sleep with a young stud who satisfies her all night, instead of a limp-d--k old man who poops out and falls asleep on top of her after a few weak shoves.
Does it work??? Yeah, for her if she can put up with you long enough to get what she wants. She might stay long enough for you to marry her so she can get more - your bank account, house, car, alimony,maybe even child support like what just happened to my stupid friend who was also thinking with the wrong head. Honest - his young little wife just cleaned him out so bad only a month ago and now he's having to live with friends or he'd be homeless. He doesn't even have $500 to pay a lawyer and take her to court.
Sure there are men out ther trying to do the same thing to women. I've already had several men in their 20's and 30's contact me on here, and I've only been on here less than a month. Why? They don't want a 58 yr old woman (even tough I look pretty good). They figure I must have a pension, checks, maybe savings, own my own home...whatever they can get form me. Only most of us Women are more mature and intelligent than men, and know sex is not the most important damned thing in the world!
Does it work? OK, if you want to be so low you have to Pay for it, because Pay you will.
What's wrong with a woman your own age who has a job or retirement income, is smart, loyal, trustworthy, and can't get pregnant? Were you (or are you still) married to a woman your age, but left her becaues she "got old"? (So are you!). She's hoping you Do land a young chick, she catches AIDS, brings it home to you, takes you to the damned cleaners so you cant even afford medical care, and then you both rot to death and burn in hell. If you dumped a good woman just because 'she's old', you deserve it! | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 2:38:01 PM | | i think people should just date who they like regardless of age. Finding a cool person to hang around with is so rare. I dont think I would want to limit it too greatly via a number. I think my search range is like 27-45 or something like that. Some people mature at different ages. Why make it in to an issue if it doesnt have to be one? | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 2:58:05 PM |
I've already had several men in their 20's and 30's contact me on here, and I've only been on here less than a month. Why? They don't want a 58 yr old woman (even tough I look pretty good). They figure I must have a pension, checks, maybe savings, own my own home...whatever they can get form me.
I can't speak for the guys messaging you, but you are way off the mark on this one.
Younger, my age or older? I don't want ANY woman for her money. I don't know the percentages on who wants who for what reason and frankly, I don't care. I am more than self-sufficient and if I found the woman I wanted to be with? She'd be a partner, not a bank.
...but such a sweeping generalization? Rather narrow, judgemental commentary for someone who has a career helping others come to realizations.
What's wrong with a woman your own age who has a job or retirement income, is smart, loyal, trustworthy, and can't get pregnant? Were you (or are you still) married to a woman your age, but left her becaues she "got old"? (So are you!). She's hoping you Do land a young chick, she catches AIDS, brings it home to you, takes you to the damned cleaners so you cant even afford medical care, and then you both rot to death and burn in hell. If you dumped a good woman just because 'she's old', you deserve it!
Wow you're angry.
...and you're tossing commentary about AIDS in such a manner?
I agree with the just_kats, I feel sorry for your clients.
Colin | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 3:00:38 PM |  I could not agree more with you, well said and written sometime it is cheaper and your better off just buying a pro. The hell with the head game, The older ones I want love a sole mate and all that kind of stuff, you think at their age they would understand that
it takes time, time to devolep that love sole mate. I'm a very honest good man(no ego trip)
life is to enjoy, to have fun and to be lived freely, not to be studied analized and tested. Sex
has very little to do with it, it's what you do befor and after that counts. So stop shoping
you older women, get off your butt take some action to enjoy whats here, cause I will pass
you by for a younger women. Got the cash to do it, I'm spending mine befor I die.. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 3:03:59 PM | ...And just remember this: When you guys reach that "certain age" your d--k doesnt work so good anymore, but Our equipment never shuts down.
You feel like you're just going to die if it won't get up, right? So you blame it on your wife because you aren't man enough to admit it's your own fault. You probably drank, smoked,  ate wrong, let you damned stomach stick out farther than your d--k so you can't even see it anymore. Oh, but it's Her fault and all you need is a younger woman to "fix it", right? No, it's still going downhill, Mr. Weenie's going to die.  What will you do? Willl you just commit suicide because life isn't worth living unless He gets up every day? 
I know a man (60) in that position right now. His d--k is just about totally limp now, he's tried everything including ordering those devices and blow up dolls on the net. He has heart trouble (bad) from years of smoking, drinking and living in the fast lane, and now has declined surgery for his prostate cancer because "My d--k won't get up anymore so I might as well die".  
HOw do I know these screwed up men - I'm a therapist, and I'm into Reality.
Can any of you men see how totally stupid and insane this attitude is? Why does a small body part run your life for you? Get Real. Why not start being a human instead of a senseless animal?: | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 3:28:29 PM | Oh dear. justkatz: I'm with you.
Debintx: And you studied where? MHU????? (That would be Man Haters University.) Not nice ~ not nice at all and I seriously hope you do not use that bedside manner if indeed, you are what you profess to be.
~OT~ What can I possibly add here???? Contrary to what is posted above me, I am certain that there are wonderful men of all ages, and I have no doubt that their winkies work just fine.
I'm still shaking my head....oh dear. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 4:54:09 PM | I happen to be a therapist, too (master's level, only; however, I deal with attachment/attraction issues ... nearly all my calls are referrals are about relationships).
My opinion is that it depends upon the emotional level of the man and the woman and their motives. Sometimes a man and woman 10 or 15 or whatever years apart in age, who had no intentions of falling in love, will get to know each other through, for eg, a mutual context in which the are put together with no choice, like the workplace environment. Just through gradually getting to know each other, they find that they connect on a chemistry level, have important commonalites, mutual respect and suddenly, where perhaps previously he would have never considered a woman that young and vice-versa, they find that the age issue has become a none issue. There's plenty of successful marriages that support this argument.
On the other hand, there ARE indeed guys who need a trophy girl or a woman who needs is looking for prestige, power, position, status ... and in both cases its related more to self-worth issues.
Most American women aren't interested in guys who are significantly older. In other cultures, however, it's not an issue and hence, they really may age range requirements are much wider.
Women do like financial security in most cases, but the issue is not the money, it's the priority and real motive. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to a successful man, because his financial success, in most cases, reflects his character in which he sacrificed many years to get to that point. What's not okay is where that is the only reason the woman is looking for an older man.
Finally, I have found - and I think this is the most interesting point which has made me rethink a lot on this subject - but I have clients who are extremely emotionally immature at 48 years old and know young women who are more mature at 25. My niece who is only 17 is very, very responsible and makes very good decisions about guys already, has held down 3 jobs through the summer while achieving a 2 scholarships and is involved in so many extracurriculare school-related activities (of course, I wouldn't be thrilled if I found she was dating a 35 year old man). The point being emotional maturity and relational skills and good or bad dispositions rarely change very much throughl life. Of course, my job is to help them make these changes, but any real therapist will tell you it's extrordinarily difficult to do.
Thus, given that a mature man who is just minding his business, open to women near his age, but happens upon a younger mature woman, who is just minding her business, never having considered an older man - I think it could work if they are enjoying each other.
As to the sex issue, most guys don't decline that rapidly. Sex drive does decline for men in their 40's but it's subtle and since this is my age catagory, I personally have seveal friends in this range who say that they find the subtle drop in their sex drive only enhances their ability to control their performance in the bedroom; rather than going for 3 minutes, max, like an 18 year old or 30 minutes like a 27 year old man, they can just go and go, as long as their physical stamina can keep up. Sting, the musical artist, was in his 40's when he announced to the world, how he and his wife supposedly went for ... 12 hours or some longer, which I admit, would be a stretch for any man any age. But just driving home a point.
Two valid exceptions to where it wouldn't be a good idea for a young woman/older guy match: (1) where the young woman hasn't had enough life experience to really know who she is and therefore what she is looking for in a man; that's why the divorce rates for 20 -22 and 23-24 for are extremely high, for both young men and women. The reason is because in today's fast-paced society, it's difficult for people to figure out who they are. Identity appears to mature around 29 according to the studies and thus and this correlates with men and women who marry at a later age, having much lower divorce rates. Their identity has stablized and they know what they want; (2) one of the key factors for marriage compatibility, which you'll find on every pre-marital test in America, among many, is that it's important for the couple to have similar energy levels. Personally, I've seen this as a common issue regardless of age, but it would most likely be present where one person is much younger than the other.
Hope this shed a little more light one this heated subject! | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:38:40 PM | sex drive only enhances their ability to control their performance in the bedroom; rather than going for 3 minutes, max, like an 18 year old or 30 minutes like a 27 year old man, they can just go and go, as long as their physical stamina can keep up.
Damn, how come I keep missing this guy??? Because that has not been my experience. Ummm...I remember being 18 and my partner who was about my age, definitely lasted more then 3 minutes. I also remember being 27 and once again, he definitely lasted more then the 30 minutes. Or maybe I was just that darn good ...lol :-)
...Who are you suppose to date, since being with a much older man makes you queasy?
Well, if you are queasy about them, why shouldn't others be queasy about you? Perhaps those much older men are the ones you are supposed to date? Why should you be able to choose while denying us men the same right?...
How am I denying you the right to choose, as if I have that much power that I can actually say, hey Simbad don't do that and you are going to do it. You could date whomever you want to date, that is your business. Actually you would be doing us a favor if you do stay away.
As to the much older man, I get hit on constantly by men in their mid to late 50's and older. I'm not attracted to them. I'm a very friendly person, and I don't outright reject them, I do sit and converse with them and I have yet to meet the one that I found attractive and I had something in common with. Once again I'm talking about the men that I have met, maybe on some remote part of the globe there might be a 50+ man that does it for me, but to date I haven't found him.
As much as we don't like to admit there is a big difference in looks, energy levels, outlooks on life etc...between people of different generations. I speak from experience on this one because I was married to a much older man for many years. In the beginning it was fine and dandy until I started to come into my own and wanted to experience life that didn't always include him. I"m not even going to mention the jealousy scenes, the constant beratement. For years he played mind games with me to keep me with him until I couldn't take it anymore and left. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/23/2006 6:43:19 AM | Debintex, you're funny and you are right if a guy is not healthy that happens. Age does not have much to do with it, a healthy middle aged man can outlast much younger guys.  If you were a man you would know what that small body part responds to. A man has to perform, but a woman just needs to be available and somehow exciting to him. As a man ages the young women still remain attractive and the older women start to look good as well. Hey, that's not a bad thing, but I think it's best not to date those who are more than ten years older or younger. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 7/23/2006 10:57:49 PM | | Well gosh, dang. I think I have finally heard it all now. The reality of it is; younger women and older guys have the same stamina as far as their sex drive goes. A little slow. Most older guys have already been in a marital relationship with an older woman, and once divorced, are afraid they'll duplicate that relationship again. They wanna feel young again and play catch-up on what they think they lost out on. What they'll get are hot little mamas full of PMS whose biggest concerns are "what to wear tonight." Women in their 30's and 40's don't wanna date guys in their fifties unless he's hot and holds himself well. Just the sound of the big Five-0 is enough to scare most of them off. Women in their 50's today, are much more vibrant and athletic than they were years ago. They like to have lots of fun, and make lots of love. Better look around, there's a lot of competition going on out there. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 8/1/2006 3:09:57 PM | My sister, s husband was 12 years older than her but then my sister was always mature for her age. I have always liked guys around my own age preferably just a few years older.
i do find men in their fiftes attractive now, at one time i would not of looked at someone that age. Now i am 46 i do. I certainly do not go for men half my age. No way. Its not about looks its more thatn that to me.
When i was in my twenties i never went for men 20 years older than me, i never needed to.
My oldest daughter said to her friend, my mum used to have loads of men fancy her. The thing is they are just older now. | |
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nina75
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Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 120 | |
| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 8/1/2006 4:34:33 PM | I have found that age is a state of mind and if people were to just get over their hang ups of what society tells us to be and what ages are appropriately date-able...then wow could there be a few more relaxed and happier people out there. I find age is such a small factor in a relationship that once you choose to stay stuck on it, it then becomes a problem. The funny thing is that the age factor goed both ways. The younger woman/man and the older man/woman could be working on so many issues within themselves that they figure it is the age and not the issue.
I say if age is an issue, then there is likely something more to it than age. We are all more than a number, as we are all part of so many expereinces that shape us regardless of age.
I like men in their 50's and they think I like their money or have a daddy issue. I like their maturity and life experiences and the wisdom that comes with age. I have always been attracted to the salt and pepper look, so try explaining that to an insecure 50ish man.
I say, do what feels right and stop getting stuck on the numbers. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 8/2/2006 11:25:49 AM | | Dang Deb, It sure sounds lie YOU have serious issues with us "older men". I'm thinking your whole idea of a sucessfull relationship depends on the man being able to screw you all night. IF that is the case, then find yourself some 21 yr old kid, that doesnt know what a real relationship is. Then you can worry on what he is up too everytime he leaves the house. Or you find out he is either gayor screwing every other female he can find. And just so you know, there are sooooooooooooooo many different ways to make / let a woman have an orgasm. Hell, you want to know what pleasure is? find yourself a man who is experienced, who know his way around a female body. Most guys think there is ony one place on a woman. ...........But then again, you need to go to therapy yourself............ | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 9/24/2006 7:43:03 AM | | Personally I like both, women around my age and younger women. Why? Well women my age can have the experience that I have also, and some of the values we of that age have grown up w/ to some degree. not to say younger women don't. I have a problem w/ meeting women my age due to the family curse I share, that we don't look our age. Hell, my friends were telling me my mother was fine! (in my late teens and even after that) That blessing passed on was menicing in my youth, but flattering in my mature years, Only thing is, younger late 20's and 30's crowds think I can still hang, play football and do all the rough stuff I used to do. and actually I do but w/ more caution now....lol. I still stay active but like finer things. I feel that I have had a verrrrrrrrrry long and rich youthful life and want now to find someone (young or same age) but in good shape and attractive. But I'm not a kid anymore, but I have always been young..... Sum it up! I like a woman that has a youthful look. But I will also date a younger lady. Oh yea, I may be a little superficial but I like what I like. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 9/24/2006 8:08:21 AM | WOAH GURL.."DEBINTX"...you are a WHAT?..THERAPIST??.. I think gurl friend you need to go see one!! ASAP..you sound like a VERY VERY scorned woman..How could you possibly, do your job effectively when its an obvious..that you, yourself are psychologically scarred??..GEE!!..& correct me if i am wrong?..but don't you owe your clients some kind of loyality to thier feelings and problems?...while you...Ms.Therapist.. come online mocking and making fools of them? You should be ashamed of yourself..This definitely shows YOUR true colors..Get some help..Sister.. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/12/2006 11:32:23 PM | Exactly......Who is to say what works? Who is the ONE? How can anyone on here Judge the relationships of anyone else? Yes, there are gold diggers...and yes there are momma's boys...and yes there are old farts that want a young nurse...if they agree and know the truth then let them be and live their lives...honesty should be the factor here!!!...And believe it or not some of us people do not think that age even matters at all!!! Souls and Soulmates can not be stopped and Time is NOT when LOVE IS! Love is deeper than water! Love conquers all! And as Jesus said "Love believeth all things"...HE is the ONE to Judge the Heart and not us!!! Who is the one to question love?   | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/13/2006 5:18:05 AM | | From my experiences - yes it can work. When I compare the dates/relationships I have had with men my age compared with the older men I have been involved with - older wins out. But I believe it's a mixture of chemistry, experiences, personality, and social circles. In my case, I just find older men more attractive with personalities that I mesh better with. Alas, if a young man comes into my world to change this - so be it. I just know for a fact, older wins out for me every time. | |
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