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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/12/2006 11:32:23 PM | Exactly......Who is to say what works? Who is the ONE? How can anyone on here Judge the relationships of anyone else? Yes, there are gold diggers...and yes there are momma's boys...and yes there are old farts that want a young nurse...if they agree and know the truth then let them be and live their lives...honesty should be the factor here!!!...And believe it or not some of us people do not think that age even matters at all!!! Souls and Soulmates can not be stopped and Time is NOT when LOVE IS! Love is deeper than water! Love conquers all! And as Jesus said "Love believeth all things"...HE is the ONE to Judge the Heart and not us!!! Who is the one to question love?   | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/13/2006 5:18:05 AM | | From my experiences - yes it can work. When I compare the dates/relationships I have had with men my age compared with the older men I have been involved with - older wins out. But I believe it's a mixture of chemistry, experiences, personality, and social circles. In my case, I just find older men more attractive with personalities that I mesh better with. Alas, if a young man comes into my world to change this - so be it. I just know for a fact, older wins out for me every time. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/13/2006 9:14:19 AM | I happen to be a therapist, too (master's level, only; however, I deal with attachment/attraction issues ... nearly all my calls are referrals are about relationships.
Well, Justaguy, you may be only "master's level" but your post was by far on a more professional level and without all the rancor by the lady psychologist who posted before yours. While I could agree with many things she mentioned, I had a tough time getting past the anger and generalizations. No, I am NOT a psychologist, but I did stay in the Holiday Inn Express last night. 
OT: This is a very tired subject; yet, along with the weight thing and email reject threads, gets much play time and time again. I still think we should just do away with the age thing completely. Be born with a date implanted in the body that isn't checked again until after we're dead -- then you can learn to tie your shoes when it feels good. Get that job because you really are qualified for it. Can still fly a commerical jet because you ARE healthy and have great vision and judgement,not to mention valuable experience. Finally, never turn down, or be turned down, based on AGE ... maybe because of maturity, or lack there of, but never based on chronological age mainly because you wouldn't know it and weren't ever taught that it was important. Just my opinion. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/14/2006 9:48:01 PM | My theory is that older men who want to spend their time with younger women (especially when the men are 40+, going for the early-20's women) is that the men are just immature. These are the men who get into bar fights, do the "dirty dancing" with the hotties on the dance floor... these are the guys who dont' return phone calls, don't do well with meeting her parents (because they're all on the same pain medications), and a host of other things. Grow up, and find the value in people who've learned as much from life as you should have!
As for the women, well, they're generally looking for father figures. Broken homes, abusive parents, whatever caused the trauma is pretty varied... but regardless, these younger women are after someone who'll treat them as poorly as the male rolemodels of childhood treated them... which they're able to find in spades, as so many groundless older men are willing to ditch their senses and go on a week-long bender just to get laid by a younger gal.
My observations, have at it.
-B. | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/14/2006 10:57:00 PM | Like any other type of relationship, it works if there's compatibility and chemistry. I've been in a few relationships with women younger than me, and realize that yes, it can be a challenge, but no moreso than any other relationship. If things are right between two people, the age difference is irrelevant, regardless of which one is older, the man or the women.
Genuine_me ^^^, I will have at it. For a guy who is so young and wants to be involved in family therapy practice, you certainly do seem to have a very closed mind to make such broad sweeping generalizations. What types of experiences have you had that prompted this "theory" of yours? I haven't been in a fight since I was 21 (and that was at the Vet in Philly; they were Giants fans! No women involved...lol). I do like to dance on occasion, but I was never one for "dirty dancing" (I did go thru a short but awful disco phase in high school for a few months, but I was cured). I always return phone calls and emails, I'm not on any meds at all, and I've never in my life been on a bender. The value I find in people has nothing to do with their age; its all about what is in their heart and their mind.
As for bashing women who like older men, that they're from broken homes, with abusive parents and are just looking for a substitute, I invite you to look no further than the profile of the woman who posted a few slots above you, Hitechygal. While I unfortunately don't know this woman personally, she seems to have her act completely together (if I lived over the border I'd be writing to her, beleive me), well-spoken, outgoing, comfortable and confident about who she is and where she is going. Does she really strike you as someone who is looking for a father figure? I've dated several women in their early 20s, was even married to one for a few years, none of whom came from a broken home. And there are thousands of women just like them on this site, and millions more out there in the world. You talk about learning life lessons as you age, and thats true; what I've learned is not to prejudge people, or try to paint with too broad a brush. You my friend have seen one too many AfterSchool Specials. Physician, heal thyself! | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/21/2006 4:44:59 PM | You have to be kidding!
A woman in her 50's just wants to stay home???
How did you get information like that?
I am 56 and quite the opposite.....my feelings are SOME men my age have hang-ups about themselves and have to resort to dating a woman that is young enough to be their daughter, in order to feel good about themselves.
Think about it.. when the guy graduated from high school, how old was the girl?? | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/21/2006 5:00:40 PM | Well Op I can honestly say I am not attracted to men In that age range, and neither are any women I know. I think the people who end up In happy relationships with large age gaps NEITHER party went looking for It - It just happened they met and realised the connection they had.
And a man In his 50s may want to go dancing every week - and maybe a woman In 20s and 30s does too - but trust me you arnt dancing In the same way or same venues  | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/21/2006 10:58:51 PM |
most of the older women i've known were living in apartments, duplexes, or with their parents. even if they have a home, they have practically NO financial resources.
How is this an issue when it comes to dating someone?
We all have different experiences - while you prefer younger women, some prefer older
None of us can speak for all | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/26/2006 12:22:02 AM | Exactly...You go girl...One man or woman cannot speak for all!!! These young ####'s will learn and grow as time goes on...Wisdom will prevail...Does age make a difference?....Who can define Love??? Is there an expert here to explain? I want to know!!! This is the question here? Age or Love? ? ? | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/26/2006 1:08:01 AM | aw geez...I guess I better go learn to like craft shows and putter around in the garden....Guess I'll give up going out dancing,riding motorcycles and jumpoing out of airplanes...I wasn't aware I wasn't suppose to like that stuff...sorry | |
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| Older men dating younger women --- does it work??
Posted: 10/30/2006 11:15:06 AM | @genuine: I think you do older men and younger women an injustice with your post. Granted, it is your opinion but I would like to add my two cents for what it's worth.
Most of the friends I hang out with are older guys (easily 10+ year difference) but they are FAR from immature. For a year, I've been in their company and they haven't picked a single bar fight (with the exception of throwing out an extremely unruly 24 year old boy), they do not proscribe to "dirty dancing with the hotties." As for simple things like returning phone calls, that has never been a problem either. The companionship I find with them has far improved my opinion of males at large. They treat me better than 90% of my peers ever have.
To my frustration, the guy I absolutely adore refuses to date me because I am so much younger than him. Age shouldn't be a factor in a relationship. Factors should be common interests and compatible mindsets. | |
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