| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/29/2008 11:12:34 PM | That is true, Ms. Ismene, about writing an e-mail of acknowledgement ... but it was just two days later. And I've always been one to believe about the 'you never get a chance to make a second first impression on someone', and I was intruiged enough from her e-mail to want to do it right, and I knew that I needed another day to do that. I guess it was a judgment call, that in that case turned out to be the best one. But yes, your point is very valid.
What many don't understand, I think, with respect to this issue is where another person's mind will travel in the same period of time. Some people, when they write to someone else, or send an IM like in this thread's example, they sit and wait for a reply. Some folks have enough free time to do this, but someone else may have a busy life and may not be at their computer very much. Whenever I've written to anyone, I've always just let it be. If I hear back from them, OK ... if not, that's OK, too. Some e-mails, I've got a rapid reply (within a few hours). Some others have not got back to me for days and days. I have a very good friend on this site, who didn't reply to my initial e-mail for over a week. I found out that she had been out of town.
But in all of this, I draw the line at rudeness -- whether that rudeness is immediate, comes days later, or months later. My tolerance level for things like my earlier example or OP's Instant Message example is very short. I've never found a good excuse for outright rudeness.
cdn guy | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/29/2008 11:52:46 PM | | I have had this happen with a few men, and it's happened once only. I scamper away so fast it makes their head spin. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/30/2008 2:12:19 AM | Give yourself a pat on the back for having a life beyond what happens on your computer.
Cdn*Guy said: "I've never found a good excuse for outright rudeness."
What Cdn said. Add outright WEIRDNESS. That man's behavior was nothing short of psycho.
But I wouldn't have pursued it when he blocked you. When you've safely circumvented a snake, it's playing the down side of the law of averages to go back and poke him with a stick. 
Callothewild | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/30/2008 4:10:23 AM | Hmmm....I don't think it was psycho especially out here in the Matrix and I'm not so sure that everyone should be judged by the persona they project out here either.
People come in new and not knowing how things work
people come to the forums with a need to vent because they have nowhere else
people come with recent baggage; separations, divorces, heartburn
people have been online looking for someone and are starting to see a pattern
people have been duped, taken advantage of and played
people are naive or too savvy for their own good
people think they are anonymous and invisible
people can be thoughtless before putting finger to key and clicking the send button
people are affected by their day to day lives and bring a reaction here
people bring their insecurities and fears and anger
people put on a happy face
people get jaded and cranky from the same old scenarios
people say they want one thing and then prove that it's not so
and some people are frank and others are liars and others are just around to shoot the sh1t or start trouble.
Who really knows?
So no, I don't think everyone is as they project to the eyes that are watching, maybe a general impression of how they deal with things 'here', but their actual characters could be very different in different circumstances, with people who really know them or really want to know them. Someone who seems nicey nice on the outside could have some secret issues and fears about really connecting in the real world and someone seemingly cantankerous and grumpy could have a heart of gold. I don't want to judge a book by it's cover, but by getting to know the real person inside.... and that takes time and goodwill and patience, and those things seem in very short supply online. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/30/2008 6:28:41 AM | | Just remember that most of the folks with mental health issues aren't receiving treatment..... | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/30/2008 8:43:51 AM | Ah Ms. Browne...... always concise and to the point  | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/30/2008 11:50:03 AM | Dont know the guy in question but I have a question for you (and anyone else) if you are trying to sell a product, and you have an idea of who your consumer is, wouldn't you at least wrap the package in such a way as to attract the consumer you want to buy your product? Lots of folks on POF and elsewhere in life do just that. They wrap themselves in the rhetoric they think certain people want to hear and then once they sell them the wrapped package and the consumer takes it home and removes the wrap they find out what they really bought.  | |
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ISSGOD
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Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 33 | |
| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/30/2008 5:54:04 PM | What’s your complaint sister... you have averted disaster. He sounds like a Dr. Jeckle & Mr. Hyde personality.
Cast that line back into the pond and may your next catch be a good one! | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/30/2008 6:03:29 PM | OP
I'll bet you he is BPD. They have issues with abandonment and they can go from pure loving white to black hatred in a nanosecond. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/30/2008 6:14:30 PM | However, it is nice to have someone write and say, I'm tied up now, or whatever, but want to respond and will get back to you in a couple of days. Just something brief, acknowledging the email and that you want to get in touch.
It seems like a simple thing. Leave it to human beings to complicate the heck out of it. Of course I am guilty at times but I try and reply consistently.
I have had some interesting encounters here. Some are real doozies and is in part why I have chosen to opt for friends initially. It's been funny to see how some people ignore that and place all manner of restrictions on a friendship. Like the real important stuff in a friendship. You know; how you need to "look" a certain way in order to be their friend?
Hahahahahaaaaaa!!!!! | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/30/2008 6:18:00 PM |
Just remember that most of the folks with mental health issues aren't receiving treatment.....
Yes, and they're here in droves signing up for the "free membership" and all the perks of everlasting love and happiness this amazing site promises!!!
Muahhhhaaaa-hahahaaa-haaa!!! | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 11/30/2008 6:31:30 PM | OP
I'll bet you he is BPD.
What does BDP have to do with a man who is an inconsiderate or a brutal human being? Your situation OP doesn't sound very loving to me. I'd probably call 911 for the police .............Of course, I don't take any chit from anybody and insecure men or men that want to use women as a battering ram, wouldn't like me. Ask me if I care. | |
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| Anger in River City
Posted: 1/16/2009 4:30:19 AM | | that is some crappy behavior in river city, people can be troubled, who knows exactly what was going on in his head, nothing useful to dating anyways | |
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