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longte
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Joined: 10/18/2004
Msg: 51 | |
| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/15/2006 6:52:12 PM | If a woman is used to an expensive lifestyle, I see no problem in her wanting her partner to come from a similar background
It does not mean I would want someone like that
But I can understand where they are coming from
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/15/2006 6:57:29 PM | | There are those who lie about having a job at all. Personally I'm with you, as long as they have hootspa and can take care of themselves it shows some ambition. I've dated too many guys looking for a mother figure. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/26/2006 7:57:47 PM | I think people that have "requirements" like that are just not very articulate. What they really mean to say is that they want someone that will not take advantage of them. Which of course anyone could do --- job or no job.
If I were some kind of predator these people would make good victums because they are alerting you to the fact that they were taken in, in the past and can likey be taken advantage of again.
The way to not get taken advantage of is to keep your eyes open and think with the head on your shoulders not the head between your legs.
I often have a delima with this with dates because many tiimes I am not working. So should I lie? or unfairly get blown off?
Look germans get 6 weeks paid vacation every year, Aussies get a 6 month paid sabatical every 10 years. Americans get 1 week if you are lucky and only if they dont take out sick days from your vacation. The ony way I have found to get time to enjoy life is to quite your job.
Materialsim means very little to me but my time means the world to me.
Give me some feedback people.... | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/26/2006 8:05:40 PM |
If a woman is used to an expensive lifestyle, I see no problem in her wanting her partner to come from a similar background
It does not mean I would want someone like that
But I can understand where they are coming from
I bet...
Can I translate this?
You are saying that if a woman is used to being a mooch and bumming a living off of men that you have no problem with her continueing to do so. And in the process belittleing men online that are in the same finantial straights as she is.
I have been soooo temped to create a "milionaire" profile for these people without character, morals, etc.........
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/26/2006 8:10:04 PM | | Here is a cut and paste of what a girl wrote me. Mind you, she contacted me first and wrote the following: Hi greatcatch! I am curious about you. For instance what kind of technical skill do you have, or what kind of job do you have. Would you like to have a long term relationship or just dating for a while? Looks fishy, right?? So I wrote back something nice, like thank you for the email, blah, blah, blah, and threw in the same question she wrote me. Well it turns out "She's unemployed"!!!! Sorry, this day and age I feel any girl I date has to be self sufficiant. I'm a mechanic by trade and I try to date girls with "newer" cars also, I'm not out to "rescue" anyone!!! (LOL) | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/26/2006 8:22:10 PM | At this stage of the game I see nothing wrong with either party asking those questions. What most are looking for(including myself)is someone who is on equal footing. If u are not asking those types of questions, then u might be in for a rude awakening! There are those on this web site who are looking to be taken care of or ride your coat tails. So be wise and be careful, but most of all be honest about what u are looking for!  | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/26/2006 8:25:09 PM | | Ok lets be honest here now. I am a single mom of 3 great kids. I work full time(have 2 jobs to be exact). Owne my home and car, and really expect the same from the man i am going to get involved with. I am not about to do all the driving, plus pay for all the dates, and support him. I dont expect the guy to be rich, but as long as he can carry his own, its all good. Now if that defines a gold digger, well then a gold digger I am.....sheeshhh. It says alot about people in our age bracket, as to what they've accomplished so far in their lives. If they still live at home with mom and dad, and never owned their own home at some point in their lives, theres a problem. Now i do know some men have had to start over, because of divorce or whatever bad luck they have come across..I personally prefer middle class men. Rich are snobby, and play around, show off their possessions, and arent real. Ghetto is just ghetto. Middle class men have their stuff together.. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/26/2006 8:54:45 PM | I am waiting for the home team to start the thread about "Women who must have the Cash" Hahahaha.
Hey, its an Equal Rights world now...so Ladies, take equal responsibility...How come I'm not seeing any Sugar Momma threads! Come on guys, I know you want to create one! And I know some of you ladies really want to be a Sugar Momma because you know you are just so independant, and ambitious, and career driven! ;) Hahahahah...
Come on, some women need to see some of you guys starting a thread and saying stuff like
"I wouldn't date a chick who doesn't make 100k"
or "She must cook, clean, do all my laundry, dishes, pay the bills, taxes, drive, have a job (100K+), and watch me while I play video games, or hockey, or whatever else"
The bottom line is, Love nowadays is defined by the benefits derived from a relationship...Its all about benefits...If anyone thinks I'm wrong, we'll see you on your divorce date. HAHHAAAH. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/27/2006 4:53:18 AM | | I don't care what she has or doesn't have - it's who she is that's important to me. I have personal preferences with regard to dependant children but that's just my lifestyle. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/27/2006 5:16:14 AM | | You would be surprised at how many men out there are lazy BUMS.. I recently dated a guy who was " between" jobs.. At first I believed him but soon enough I figured him out to be a lazy guy. To me that is such a turn off... I am a very independant woman, I dont ever want to have a Man take care of me financially simply so he can hold it over my head... BUT..I do want a Man who has his "sh*#t together. To be able to plan a future with someone, and to be able to put our paychecks together to build a life.. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/27/2006 6:05:32 AM | I used to work with a young lady, I was married at the time, who would always have to tell you what kind of car a guy she just met drove, I used to tell her that showed shallowness, that she was only concerned with thier income and she deny it ademantly. Are there gold diggers out there, yes absolutely, she was proof in my eyes. Are all women gold diggers? absolutely not. This is the 21st century though and if a woman wants a man "to take care of her" she needs to check her priorities. By the same token any man only nterereted in arm candy is just as shallow and needs to check his own priorities. On a side note, the girl I used to work with, well she fell for a guy that drove a mercedes, only to find out he sank literally ALL his money into it and had very little left over to spend on her, she broke up with him, wasn't a shallow person though | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:05:37 AM | | I support myself and my three kids (I get a very small amount of child support from my first ex, and nothing from my second). I walked away from the first marriage with nothing, left him all of it (and I don't mean debts). I have my own house, and live very comfortably. I'm sorry but I do want a man who is settled, somewhat, and doesn't live with dear old ma and pa still...as for a job, well that just shows he has some direction in his life! Would you date a woman who has no job? I think not!! | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:06:06 AM | | What is wrong with wanting a man that is established? I am, and he should be also. Nothing about gold digging, just not looking for someone who is just starting out, or starting over. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:11:01 AM | No, I don't think so. I would want the same from a gal. Car, yes to get from point A to Point B
Job, yes, to afford to get from point A to Point B
House, maybe, Thats point B or it could be point A.
What they are saying is that's what they got and are not looking for a guy that has no act together...that's all...can't blame them at all. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:14:35 AM | | I have those things on my profile...Why? Well, they are important to me. I have a career, a car that is registered and insured, and I have a home. I can take care of myself and if I want to buy my partner presents I can afford to do so. Honestly, I want the same! Success is attractive. Being self sufficient is attractive. Everyone has different tastes in people, so don't be offended that there are people that might be attracted to things you are not. You don't want to date everyone you meet on the street, why would you want that here? | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:27:31 AM | I've got mixed feelings about this one...
On one side of the fence you seem to have the type that is saying "I've got a career and I don't want you leeching off me" - which is a fair point - I wouldn't want a woman that isn't self sufficient and I would hope she would expect the same of me. I don't care if she's rich and from a wealthy family or working just to make ends meet. If she's supporting herself - that's good enough for me. I work hard and that affords me a fairly lavish lifestyle (most of the time), I don't want someone that just wants to ride my coat-tails just for the purpose of having that - I want someone that loves to be with me for my fantastic good looks, amazing wit, charm and intellect (before you say "conceited bastard", that was said tongue-in-cheek).
On the other side of the fence you've got the girls that don't want to work and are looking for a husband/boyfriend to support them so they can quit working and live a life of leisure. In today's society that seems to thrive on litigation and divorce (which I personally find abhorant) you've got to be careful that she's not just going to marry you and then divorce you and take half...or even more.
I find that it's usually fairly apparent which a person is the first time you meet in person. Most people aren't so eloquent in person as they can be by email/im as they don't get the chance to write and rewrite what they're going to say before they hit submit. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:47:24 AM | plaidpockets
Joined: 3/22/2005
Msg: 1
view profile
Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/14/2006 4 36 PM
I've noticed several profiles in which the woman states that the potential man should or must have a job, car, house. I am wondering, are there so many unemployed, carless, men living on the streets or with their parents that are looking for love that this is a problem, or are these women gold-diggers? And how much does this site being totally free affect this?
I'm really just wondering what these women mean by this. What do you PoFer's think?
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They are GOLD DIGGER all the way. Oh the dating stores I could tell you.....WOW...! I was married for just about 20 years, got married when I was 21 years old and after 20 years of marriage it went down the drain. Went out tried to do that dating thing and found myself very quickly in a world that I have no idea of what to do...dating world that is... I signed up in the end on what seemed like a good dating service to end up with dates that ended up asking me and telling me stuff like the following.
(1) I only date guys that are Doctors or lawyers.
(2) I only date guys that make at least 60,000 per year that can keep me in the life style I am use to. ( in other words gold digger welfare bum looking to live of someone elses hard work )
(3) I will not date a guy that works with his has refering to ( blue collar worker ) {see #1}
(4) I only date guys that are fit and great looking. However she failed to have a good look at herself before making a statement like this....QUICK...someone call Green Peace, I see a beached whale..! Also had a face like a can of smashed A$$ Holes....kiss you...I would sooner jump of a bridge then do that...
(5) Been asked...so how much money do you have in the bank and your house what is it worth....and the kicker was...how much is left on the mortage. ( Guys this type is a Major GOLD DIGGER...! ) This type is looking clean a guy out. But yes for real I have been asked all these and much, much more.
(6) The all time loser award goes to a 37 year old female that I was set up with from a dating service, her most important thing in life seemed to be...see statement she made on our first date out. ( I want a guy with a big C##K as I like them big I can not feel anything if there small ) Well I guess that will happen when you keep shoving telephone pole sizes objects up there.....
In all after some 18 or 20 dates....{I have lost count}....all I can say is that I think I have met all the ones that I would never want to date or have anything to do with, and as for sex goes..... Oh please you have to be joking.....
I could go on, but I think you get the picture. And by the way there is NO shortage of LOSERS and GOLD DIGGERS on this site, the problem is in finding the ones that are not one
of these. Kinda like looking for something of great value that got lost in the city dump, and you have fish through all the trash and smell and other dirty and ugly things in a hope that you will find that item and re-store it to its proper place far..far away from that roting mass of trash.
My only advice I have to all you guys....and sadly I know this will fall on deaf ears with most of you, and that is. Think with your head...and I mean the head on your shoulders and NOT the one in your pants. But sadly most guy let the head that is in there pants do the thinking and talking for them while the other one just goes along for the ride. ( seen it to many times )
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:48:44 AM | I have a job, I have a vehicle (Vespa) and I'll probably get a car in a couple of years (I want a Mini, but I'm not gonna buy new) and I plan on getting a condo in a couple of years as well. Things take time, I'm not in a hurry is all. And not having all that stuff now doesn't mean I'm some wastrel or vagabond scrounging for scraps in dumpsters, or that I'd be leeching off my S.O. I always paid in my previous relationships, and I was worse off then.
I think what's offputting is that women could determine whether or not a guy has these without putting them in bold face italic underlined font in their profile. Or to put it this way, It only deters the honest people, and the dishonest ones, you're just telling them what you want to hear, so they'll have a better angle to lie to you. And for the honest ones, especially the ones that DO have everything in the materialism list, since it's right there in the first few sentences of the profile, it probably makes them think that these aren't just important to the woman, they are the only thing that's important to the woman. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/27/2006 9:52:07 AM | | As long as that person is bringing equal to or greater than what they are asking for. It's pretty hypocritical to not have what you're asking somebody else to have. If you're asking for somebody who is educated, and you have a semester of college. Asking somebody to have a car when you take the bus. Asking somebody to have a house when you live in a basement appartment. If somebody is asking for something they don't have themselves, I'd keep my gold-digger alarm up and running. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 5:39:05 AM | | FF..thats a good way to put it. If you dont have and expect the other to have, i do agree that the person is then considered a gold digger. I am not saying i have everything. But what i do have i have accomplished on my own with 3 kids and working 2 jobs. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 7:19:13 AM | | I agree..people like tomhang out with people like themselves. Gold diggers and people with over the top expectations are going to be pretty sad. I too have dated many...many...peoplle in my search. I have soon realized I need to protray the qualities I want in a person.One of those is fitness. So I have had to change my life style.I want someone fit and active, and I cant expect them to just give that to me, so I will achieve this myself and then hope that I attract similar. As for $$$ same same. If I do it myself hopefully I will attract someone who will have done the same. I am picky at the age 33. I have given up peices of myself by "settling" and taking the first ones to notice me. Now I have better boundries, It is part of growing up. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 7:22:09 AM | I have no such requirements in my profile. However I do require first dates to bring a resume and credit report....
Not really, but I think it is only reasonable to want a potential boyfriend or girlfriend to have a steady job/income and place to live. Be it apartment or house, whatever.
If you're living out of your car and going on POF from the library, we got problems. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 7:34:25 AM | | Oh good grief! This is a dating site, not a commitment-for-the-rest-of-your-life site. Why should anything past the basics be of concern or even asked? If a single person of either gender wants to be absolutely sure the person they spend about 4 hrs. with is financially secure, there are matchmaking companies that specialize in those relationships. | |
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