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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 7:36:07 AM | if he loved me and everything that i am i couldnt care less if he was living on the streets after all money cant buy love,and if she is after your money shes not worth paying the attention too,why does money even have to come into the equasion,makes you wonder what shes even on this site for.if a guy makes me laugh and loves me id be the richest person on the planet,and thats from the heart  | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 10:24:56 AM | TO MSG # 69:
A can of smashed Ass-holes?!!!! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH that made me laugh harder than the other thread I was just on about 2 people who got married.
Alright, you have good advice. I will take it. Sometimes it takes a long time before you find that out about someone. I'm glad you found out right away. I think the older we get, the more a relationship becomes about Mutual Benefit than true love. I think true love happens in younger years and upto the age of 30 (not written in stone) but I've seen older people on here to be much bitter, and seeking mutual benefits and using the "looking for my soulmate" line as a coverup. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 2:46:16 PM | | Gotta weigh in on this one. I only ask that guys be financially responsible. They don't have to be rich. But they should put paying the electric bill and responsibility in front of say.....hot wheels? I say this out of personal experience. Can't tell I'm bitter about that can you? I own my own home, a car, and I work hard at my job...I don't think its unreasonable to expect someone to be fiscally responsible. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 2:59:02 PM | | One of my nephews has a good paying job and owns property. He needs to be more candid. Instead he's open about his job and inevitably the women want to take advantage of him. He just met one last weekend in the park, who lives in a homeless shelter. I said, "I hope you didn't give her your phone number." He said, "Oh, she's been over already." I told him to find someone with a job and cautioned him about these "takers". | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 3:00:01 PM | Well from my experience, there are many MEN as well as FEMALES just looking to cash in.
I for example, am one of those female that will insists on a male having a JOB/CAREER, his own car, and his own place to live. Far too many have "living arrangements" that are not too suitable for the "single" scene. Ex. living with parents, or living with ex wife for the children's sake, or living with the ex g/f until they have the money to make the next move.
In my opinion, make the next move. Clean up your act if you are searching for the next stage of your life. Don't you agree?
There may be a few gold-diggers, but those are for the person to seek them out. As a female, I can relate to MANY MALES playing games, but on the other hand, there are just as MANY FEMALES playing the same games on males.
EVERYONE should follow the: "buyer be ware" or "what you read is not always what you get" comments.
GOOD LUCK to everyone is your search for happiness ~ | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 3:02:18 PM | | Girls are not always after cash. I for one will not date anyone again who does not have a car, a job, and the ablity to provide for themselves. I went out with a man for four years. Three of those years he got money from me. I worked overtime, being a waitress just to have money so we could go out. I put over 50,000 miles on my car driving him. I would like to meet someone who doesn't ask me for money, or have me pay for dinner, and doesn't ask me to pick him up. Men and woman are equal, but women are still women, and need to be treated like a woman. I don't want to go out every night. I am fine with a trip to the lake. Maybe a walk in the park. Staying home and watching tv. I don't care if the man has a house, an apartment, or lives with parents. As long as he can pay his own way, the same as I do. And I am a single mom working part-time. If I can do that and still have money, then I expect a man to do the same. If he can't, I don't have time for him. I have more important things to do than babysit a grown man. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 3:04:53 PM | | Girls are not always after cash. I for one will not date anyone again who does not have a car, a job, and the ablity to provide for themselves. I went out with a man for four years. Three of those years he got money from me. I worked overtime, being a waitress just to have money so we could go out. I put over 50,000 miles on my car driving him. I would like to meet someone who doesn't ask me for money, or have me pay for dinner, and doesn't ask me to pick him up. Men and woman are equal, but women are still women, and need to be treated like a woman. I don't want to go out every night. I am fine with a trip to the lake. Maybe a walk in the park. Staying home and watching tv. I don't care if the man has a house, an apartment, or lives with parents. As long as he can pay his own way, the same as I do. And I am a single mom working part-time. If I can do that and still have money, then I expect a man to do the same. If he can't, I don't have time for him. I have more important things to do than babysit a grown man. And yes there are that many unemployed losers out there. Men and woman. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 3:05:20 PM | While I do agree with some of the statements made by the women here. I must say that one should be a bit more tactful with these "requirements."
You could perhaps say, "I am looking for a man who is stable, independent, and can take care of himself." Unless the men you plan on appealing to are complete idiots, most guys will know what that statement entails. Sure, men like women who are up front and blunt on some things, but when it comes to this topic, you should employ as much tact as possible.
Perhaps it is not your intention to appear to be superficial and materialistic, but perception and reality are often greatly divided by what is known as "first impressions." People tend to judge immediately when they see or hear something, especially online.
If you are a man and you expect to meet a nice gal who has her act together, you pretty damn well have your act together also. Here's a message for all you deadbeat guys out there--go get a job and stop giving women the perception that a good man is really that hard to find; it really isn't! | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/28/2006 11:30:25 PM | | Umm,,,,i dont think that a woman wanting a potential partner to have a job and a car and a place to live means she's a gold digger! lol For me,,,ive said this before in a different thread but he does not have to be some executive with a corner office with a huge mahogany desk nor does he need to drive a BMW nor does he need to live in a $500,000 home,,,,BUT he does need to work (as long as he earns a paycheck, i dont care where it is), own a vehicle (we both work,,we both need vehicles) and i could care less if he lives in a modest house,apt., or moble home. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/29/2006 3:08:43 AM | What type of income are you talking about? Worker's Comp? Social Security?
I'd still rather have someone employed. I've known a number of young men who are allegedly "disabled", but they can do everything else except work. I don't like people who use the system. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/29/2006 2:42:37 PM |
I've noticed several profiles in which the woman states that the potential man should or must have a job, car, house. I am wondering, are there so many unemployed, carless, men living on the streets or with their parents that are looking for love that this is a problem, or are these women gold-diggers?
Regardless of gender I think that most of us want to have fun while dating and the reality is that, fun costs money. If I only have enough to keep me how is dividing it in two going to keep us entertained? How is that even a 50/50 relationship? I was there at one point in my life where watching the paint dry was all my ex and I could afford. I came into my own over time and it would be nice to find someone who has taken the time to build something for them selves as well. It doesn’t have to be a fortune stacked high to the ceiling but something they them selves can claim as an accomplishment and be proud of. I’m neither a gold digger nor a popper, I’m just being practical. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 89 | |
| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/29/2006 3:11:08 PM |
I am wondering, are there so many unemployed, carless, men living on the streets or with their parents that are looking for love that this is a problem, or are these women gold-diggers?
You hit the nail on the head with the fact that this site is free. I find it makes a big difference in the # of unempolyed/underempolyed men on this site. I have been on pay sites, and there seem to be alot more people on here that are worried about money than on other sites. That being said....if a woman is seriously into gold digging lol I would sign up on a pay site.
This does not mean of course that there aren't men on POF that aren't financially stable. But there are more who are not. So far up until 5 months ago every man I met made considerablely less income than I did, ie, students(acceptable), maintaince/janitorial work, food service industry(fast food)...and unempolyed.....and the one man I met who claimed to have full time employment....with career aspirations....ended up stealing from me the first time he got into my apt (after 2 weeks of dating). So I personally understand why some women have these criteria in their profile. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/29/2006 3:14:58 PM | No, I am not after anyone's cash.I also do not need someone who is making 100+k a year. I just don't want to be supporting you, ever! Been there, done that. Ex-husband is a pro at finding women to look after him. Ex-boyfriend very career driven and into accumulating so he can retire young. Had absolutely no idea what he was going to do with his time when he retired and certainly wasn't into enjoying the moment. Extremes are never good.
If you choose to rent rather than own your housing, fine.
If you choose to lease rather than buy your vehicle, also fine.
Your money, your choices.
As long as you are making your payments and have some left over to have some fun I'd have no trouble dating you. Oh yeah, we can go dutch. God forbid that anyone would think I want something from them. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/29/2006 3:22:55 PM | | I believe that is a very valid question. I really don't know what it is about men in their early thirties-but I have ran in to several that don't have a car or don't have a job or they do still live home with mom and dad. It makes me sick, I struggle as a single mom-but I do it. I don't live off of anything but my income. It just boils down to some men in this world are extremely lazy. Get a job. It won't kill you-rent or buy a house-mommy will still come visit!!!!!!!! | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/29/2006 4:07:01 PM |
I believe that is a very valid question. I really don't know what it is about men in their early thirties-but I have ran in to several that don't have a car or don't have a job or they do still live home with mom and dad. It makes me sick, I struggle as a single mom-but I do it. I don't live off of anything but my income. It just boils down to some men in this world are extremely lazy. Get a job. It won't kill you-rent or buy a house-mommy will still come visit!!!!!!!!
On the lighter side...Whitelacenkisses you should date older, more established, slightly over wieght, black men from Canada, who took the time to reply to this post.
ie me. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/29/2006 4:59:45 PM | I believe that is a very valid question. I really don't know what it is about men in their early thirties-but I have ran in to several that don't have a car or don't have a job or they do still live home with mom and dad. It makes me sick, I struggle as a single mom-but I do it. I don't live off of anything but my income. It just boils down to some men in this world are extremely lazy. Get a job. It won't kill you-rent or buy a house-mommy will still come visit!!!!!!!!
I'm thirty, I have a career, a house, a car, my family lives 5,000 miles away on another continent and I take care of myself. So we're not all lazy and don't have a job or rely on our parents to support us. Also, just because you are expecting to find a guy that's self sufficient doesn't mean that guys should or will assume you're a gold digger. I'm self sufficient and I expect the girl I'm with to be capable of that, so why wouldn't I expect that of you?
However, there are situations where a girl might not be self sufficient that I would still consider. Working a full time job encroaches on a student's studying, but they're working for the betterment (is that even a real word?) of themselves and their career. I was a student, I understand. It doesn't mean they're lazy or incapable of looking after themselves - so there's a situation where I could understand if Daddy still pays some of the bills and it wouldn't concern me. I'm certainly not going to count them out just because they're a student. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/29/2006 8:36:44 PM | I think it depends on where a woman is in her life in terms of age and career.
To be honest, a woman is most marketable somewhere between 17- 30. Its when her health and looks are probably going to be at their best and if you want a family, she can still probably have a kid without so many health risks.
After a women passes 30, I think for many, it becomes much much harder to date and marry. Not only that, but their peers might be already married and established, thus creating more pressure.
If a woman has a stable career at 30, I think being single is less of a stressor. If a woman is 30 and looking forward to a career of retail or waitressing however, I think the incentive is very big to get married.
Lets no kid ourselves, most women desire or do marry upwards on the socioeconomic scale. Unfortunately for women, men remain marketable in the dating/marriage scene much longer as long as they are confident and have money. So if you were an older man with a good income and considered a 'catch', would you date an older woman, who has a higher risk of baggage in her life or a younger woman, who is not only physically more likely to be in her prime but could have substantially less baggage.
I think many of the women who demand big ticket bfs or husbands are probably women who passed the 30 age threshhold and overplayed their hand. They passed up one too many decent prospective husbands earlier in life and know the window is closing to have kids/attract the older more financially secure men.
It makes sense, women have a good deal of power in their late teens and twenties, after all, they decide who sleeps with them or not, it could be easy for them not to realize that their marketability might be waning down. I hate to break it down into economic terms, but some women simply price themselves out of the market.
So I think certain women meet men they define as 'losers' more often because thats all the market has left for them. The power women have in terms of their youth and sexuality is like a candle, it burns twice as brightly but it burns half as long as those for well off confident men.
Sorry but the Prince will only kill the Dragon for what he perceives is as a Princess. If he thinks hes getting less than that, its the Stable Boy who ends up carrying the sword. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 6/29/2006 9:15:56 PM | | Here is a news flash for you. I am divorced and I did not get anything in my divorce but the home and even that came with a price. I was ordered to pay him what the judge called his equity in the house and now that was a joke. He got everything and I got all the bills, I had to go and get a loan to satisfy the first mortgage, pay him his big bucks, and now I have a mortage I will never live to pay out probably. I was left with nothing so stop your whinning and face reality and that is men are just as bad as women when it comes to divorce and taking things. And dont come back at me with a child issue because we had no children. Dont come back at me with the infidelity issure because he was the only unfaithful dog in this past relationship. So there it is and the way I see it is men are also takers and some like you just cant admit that some men are just real dogs and yes some women are just real a-holes. You see it works both ways. I have seen more men in this online service advertise that they are rich so usually if you put it out there then thats an invite for the taking. So ladies if you see a profile and the man is advertising he is rich and thats what your looking for then you go for it. Just my opinion | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/1/2006 5:14:13 PM | The way I see it, if a woman is THAT concerned about whether or not you have your own house or car, then she's not someone I want to date.
Being employed is one thing. I think that if you're out of work, you should be more worried about finding a job than dating. I would be leery of dating a girl who was chronically unemployed.
Hey, not everyone can afford a home. The housing market is ridiculous anymore. I'd love to have my own house, and I am looking into buying one, but I don't know if I can do it comfortably right now. Does that make me undesireable? If so, then that's your problem, not mine.
Some women are concerned about what a man has simply because they might have dated guys with no car, house, or job, and got taken for a ride by them. I can understand that.
GordonGecko-I sure hope that not all men and women view themselves and others as commodities. It would be very sad if what you said was true for everyone and would reflect horribly on humanity.
Money should at best be a marginal issue. If you're dating someone to improve your socioeconomic status or are someone well-off looking for a trophy, you are cruising towards a brick wall and are setting yourself up to be used and thrown away. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/1/2006 10:29:28 PM | And also, there are some women out there that won't date a guy because he drives an older car....like for instance an 80's model car that perhaps needs a new paint job, or the front bumper is somewhat falling apart due to age. Some think that if you aren't driving a brand new or the latest model car then you're also a loser in that regard.
Yes, I drive an older car that is 21 years old, passed to me from my mom when she bought it new. I never bought a car on my own before. And eventually I will get a better vehicle down the line, but until then I work with what I have. To some people if you dont have the latest and greatest, then they consider you more worthless than Monopoly money. Go figure.
Not everyone can buy/afford a home....with all the red tape involved in buying one it's harder for anyone nowadays to even qualify for a mortgage. And if the credit is bad....it can take almost a lifetime to fix it to where you can be in good financial standing again because usually once the credit is messed up nobody out there wants to give you a second chance to try to improve it.
Also to note, some people that are rich or are very wealthy tend to not tell much about themselves, and they often wont reveal what they have to anyone else. Not because they are snobs or such, its because alot of times when someone find out you have alot of money, everyone comes attracted to you like a bunch of ants going to a picnic where there's food waiting. Once it's gone, then they are gone with it. I've heard of actual stories of ppl that have went through this. There are many rich people I am sure that doesnt buy the fancy Rolls-Royces or living in the million dollar homes; but settle instead on simpler things that makes life easier to live. All money does, whether rich or not makes long-term goals easier to obtain. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/2/2006 1:18:44 AM | | I've been with men with money and without it. To tell you the truth, I just want a man who is financially stable. He doesn't have to make big $$$$. As long as he is financially stable and can have fun and enjoy life, that's all I care about. If he's stressing too much about money then he can't enjoy life or me. So yes I want a man with assets but he doesn't have to be filthy rich. I think that is what most women want. And these days, men want the same thing from women. I know. When I had nothing, successful men didn't want me. Things are different now. It's sad but true. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:49:23 AM | To iwarrior
A lot of what you said is true and it does reflect horribly on humanity but it is also a reality. Right now you are working towards one of the largest purchases you are ever going to make in your life. Good for you by the way I read your post in another forum and wish you well not sure about the sibling thing but I digress.
Once you have it you'll want to do what you can to keep it intact and you will tend measure others by our own accomplishments. You proved this point with your statement
Being employed is one thing. I think that if you're out of work, you should be more worried about finding a job than dating. I would be leery of dating a girl who was chronically unemployed.
It’s called being upwardly mobile and there is nothing wrong with that at all. It means you are looking towards your future. You just have to be careful of who is accompanying you along your journey, are they a help or a hindrance. Not sure at your age if it is a good thing for dating if you live with your folks but it sure can kill the Ex life (you Canadians will know what that means)
The reality is there are those who have earned little and want what you have and those who want to keep what they have earned and worked hard for. So being cautious and asking those same questions could come across either one of two ways, you’re a gold digger looking for a cheap score or you’re the miner looking to keep your gold.
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