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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/3/2006 7:39:09 AM |
they don't say 'must have job with over 100 000 annual income', right?:)
You should see the ads at Yahoo and American Singles. Some of them require you to make $150K or more. Plenty of gold diggers there. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/3/2006 7:45:30 AM | "If guy can not find a job - is something wrong with him. Very wrong."
Hey, stop a minute! I made an awful mystake myself. I spend 7 years in Post secondary education. Never mind my spelling, English being a foreign language. I'm now way overqualified for entry level jobs and with no experience for the good ones. I moved 14 times in 7 years in seach of something decent and all over the country. 600 resumes in 2 years, and all I can get are temporary jobs. Of course, I remain single because of this. I was dumped 3 times in the past after finding myself out of work... Something very wrong with me? Get your facts lined up before speaking up.... | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/3/2006 10:42:45 AM | | Well, plaidpockets, I personally think it could be either one of two things. 1) The female is indeed a goldigger so you should be very cautious, and 2) many women these days have very successful careers of their own and they don't want to be soaked by men who have low paying jobs and rent a one bedroom apartment and spend their free time drinking beer and playing poker with their buddies. Essentially, they are looking for someone ambitious and responsible. Unfortunately, they lack the skills to determine this by reading a man's profile so they are crass enough to actually post it in their own profile. Unfortunately for them, they will not get much response. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:27:01 PM | To man-behaving-badly...
A lot of what you said is true and it does reflect horribly on humanity but it is also a reality. Right now you are working towards one of the largest purchases you are ever going to make in your life. Good for you by the way I read your post in another forum and wish you well not sure about the sibling thing but I digress.
Thank you. I'm not totally sure about living with my sister either. You just have to understand that neither of us has a ton of money. Us buying a house together will be easier for both of us. Some people don't understand that. Maybe I should stop worrying about what other people think of me, but it burns me nonetheless.
Once you have it you'll want to do what you can to keep it intact and you will tend measure others by our own accomplishments. You proved this point with your statement
Being employed is one thing. I think that if you're out of work, you should be more worried about finding a job than dating. I would be leery of dating a girl who was chronically unemployed.
Not wanting to date someone who is able-bodied and won't work (unless they're retired or independently wealthy) doesn't contradict my statements on classism. It's different when someone wants to work and has trouble finding something. I went through that.
I don't care how much money they make. What I find highly unfair is that people judge other working people because of how much money they make or what they own. As if a person making 30 grand a year (me) is a lesser human being than one making 60 grand a year. That's classism. I don't like being made out to be a 2nd class citizen because I don't own my own home, make 100 G's a year, don't drive a fancy car or have a degree, and are therefore wholly undeserving of finding love with someone I truly want to be with.
I've heard the term "unmarriageable" bandied about a lot lately. It's almost as if people want to date and marry for convenience and not for love anymore judging by what a lot of people say around here.
I'm not looking to take care of someone or have someone take care of me. I'm not looking for a female servant that does all my housework and cooking and has sex with me whenever I want it. Nor am I looking for a sugar mama.
I just want someone to love and who'll love me back.
I can love a woman who works at a fast-food restaurant, lives with her parents and sister, and doesn't own a car. I have no problem with that. I just can't see any moral reason why people wouldn't. In fact, I think that the people who won't are the ones looking to mooch. They figure that if you don't have your own place, then they can't move in with you.
It’s called being upwardly mobile and there is nothing wrong with that at all. It means you are looking towards your future. You just have to be careful of who is accompanying you along your journey, are they a help or a hindrance. Not sure at your age if it is a good thing for dating if you live with your folks but it sure can kill the Ex life (you Canadians will know what that means)
I don't think there's anything wrong with moving up either. But guess what? Not everyone can. Lots of people in my country work very hard and still struggle. They are good, moral people. Not everyone can get a job like the one you have. It doesn' mean that they are dumb and lazy (not that you're suggesting that, but many people seem to feel that way).
The reality is there are those who have earned little and want what you have and those who want to keep what they have earned and worked hard for.
I agree. I'm not one of those people, and it is wrong for people to assume that about me. I work pretty damn hard for what I have too. Ask my aching feet. :)
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:58:26 PM | I am a home owner, have a car, two jobs, a cute dog and lmany pairs of shoes...
I prefer men who have their own homes, etc... To avoid the chances of a guy trying to move in on what I've worked very hard for.
If I ever get married, it would be nice if we both owned a home, so we can both sell and put our money together to buy something really nice 
Also, I think many women (including myself) are more attracted to men who are driven and motivated.... Those men are usually better off financially and have their own homes, car(s), etc.... Many women prefer the alpha male over someone who sits in front of the television every day collecting income assistance. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/3/2006 7:16:16 PM | "I prefer men who have their own homes, etc... To avoid the chances of a guy trying to move in on what I''ve worked very hard for."
But she might be moving in on what he has if she''s attracted to that.
"Also, I think many women (including myself) are more attracted to men who are driven and motivated.... Those men are usually better off financially and have their own homes, car(s), etc.... Many women prefer the alpha male over someone who sits in front of the television every day collecting income assistance."
Why does money matter to so many people? You''re putting everything into extremes. So you''''''''re either a alpha male or a welfare recipient? A guy who doesn''t own his own home is not motivated? I go to work everyday. Am I not motivated?
Also, it assumes that all women are well-off, financially responsible, and are driven and motivated.
Women rack up more debt than men.
And if you''re working two jobs to support yourself, how do you have time for anyone? I don''t want to work 2-3 jobs just so I can have all the things that people think I should have in order to accept me.
I guess I''''m from another planet or something.
Why should I or anyone else for that matter want to be with someone who wouldn''t go out with them if they didn''t have a house? | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/3/2006 7:30:15 PM | iwarrior
To each his own. You are fully entitled to your opinion as I am to mine. I cannot speak for every woman out there.... Just stating my observations...
My intentions were not to offend anybody. There are certain things people like and want in other people.
It works both ways... Many men wouldn''t message me if I weighed 500 lbs. Should I become offended by that? Many men don''t think I look good enough.... Should I become offended by that too? Of course not.
So what should I say?
Why should I or anyone else for that matter want to be with someone who wouldn''t go out with me if I weighed 500 lbs? I mean I''m a nice person and everything... c''mon, who care about physical attraction? (sarcasm)
We could go on about this sort of thing all night but it''s just beating a dead horse.
PS you just sent me a personal message complimenting me on my main picture (thank you, that was very kind). Would you have done that if I weighed 500 lbs???
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/3/2006 7:49:49 PM | | I think as long as the man or woman is looking for work (no lazy people ) it doesnt really matter how much money they have in there bank account but yes i do think that they should have a car but what about those girls n guys out there that dont drive for whateva reason , DOES THAT MEAN WE JUDGE EVERYONE . as for a house sometimes in life we have a lot of bad stuff happen so we might be worse of then what we have been in the past... then again you look at it this way if the girl or guy is working all the time trying to make as much money as he/she can what sort of relationship does that leave you with..... yea you could go shopping/out by yourself but is that what we all really want....... in this day an age we have all sorts of families 1 parent works both as long as there is a roof over your heads and food on the table should that be enough.... AS for me id much perfer to be with someone because they were nice and we got along and were able to spend time together then with some one who made a lot of money and i hardly ever got to see i think this world is becomming too comercial and we need to take it back a notch or two ...... | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/4/2006 2:05:02 AM | This would depend on the womans age.
I would expect a 20 something woman to have a job and a car, but not necessarily a house and I'd be quite surprised if she had actually managed to pay it off.
On the other hand I would expect a 30 something woman to have all three. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/4/2006 3:11:48 AM | On this topic I would have to say that all she needs to have is a good enough job. A job she’s proud of and is able to keep up with what we want to do, just so I don''''''''t have to shoulder the entire burden myself. That and a driver’s license not even a car, just so I don''''''''t have to do all the driving or she’s at least able to drive me to the hospital if I injure myself or eat a bad oyster or something.
If the attraction is there I’ll share what else I have and if she the girl for me I’ve got everything else we’ll need to make a life together just sign the prenuptial agreement stating I get to keep what I have + it’s fair % of growth during the time we’re together, everything else we split down the middle and Bob''''s your uncle we''''re off.
OK so where is she? | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/31/2006 5:43:37 PM | I look at it this way....I have a job, a car and a house....so I certainly anticipate that a guy that I would date would be at least equal to me.
If he has equal to me then I know he has made responsible choices and worked hard, just like me....
It has nothing to do with gold-digging. In fact, it ensures that no one is "gold digging" me!!
***PS - hey real deal....nice to see you back! | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/31/2006 5:50:20 PM | | ...yea and right after they post that then they settle for a long hair druggie from the bad side of town and love him to death and let him move in with her and they stay together for like 5 years. Point is nobody really knows what will attract them until they meet them. Don't worry, it goes without saying car, job, hous and cash. Yes, they are not after your cash but they worry about the guy after their cash. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/31/2006 5:56:16 PM |
Yes, they are not after your cash but they worry about the guy after their cash.
Why would a woman who has her own cash be after the guy's cash??
And just like men who worry about "gold diggers", why shouldn't women be worried about it too? | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/31/2006 6:04:37 PM | there are lots of men/women on the line who don't own a house and are legitimately looking for a loving relationship....maybe some didn't make the right choices but that doesn't make them gold diggers.
Factaully many people don't own the house...."they owe the house" | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/31/2006 6:28:13 PM | Well, I should have my own house within a year. Well, actually, I'll be paying a mortgage. I guess more women will approve of me then. Yay. 'Cause that's what it's all about right?  It's watcha have and watch make. That's America folks. And if ya don't then boo on you, I got mine and you don't and nyah, nyah, nyah. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/31/2006 6:32:02 PM | sometimes you people make my head numb.
whoever said women rack up more debt...i can't remember, that simply isn't true. statistically women are more cautious and better savers.
jesus, it really shouldn't take a genious to figure out that these women are looking for someone who is responsible and can take care of themselves. maybe they didn't word it the best way but comen, don't be a moron.
to everyone who screamed "gold digger", the best advice i can give to you is take what you can get. you obviously aren't smart enough to date a good woman. just give it up | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/31/2006 6:54:54 PM | i personally don't see the big deal about this.
a woman specifying $100k+ in a dude is one of the following:
1) wealthy and seeks like wealth in her partner
2) been burned in the past by gigolos
3) poor and looking for "typical" male support
4) golddigger
a dude specifying $100k+ in a woman is one of the following:
1) wealthy and seeks like wealth in his partner
2) been burned in the past by golddiggers
3) poor and is a gigolo
if a lady ABSOLUTELY requires wealth in her partner, she's not the one for me. $$$ only mean so much to me, it's important but it's not the be-all-end-all.
however, i tend to frown upon ladies who cannot manage her credit cards. i've dated one of them, it's amazing how a person, man or woman, can blame their finances on others, how they cannot plan for the future. i'm attracted to someone who can plan for the future, hopefully it would be a future that is a "we" future, not a "me" and "you" future.
$$$ to me is a superficial criteria, however, it's something that would ultimately turn me off if i met a lady who ABSOLUTELY could not manage her finances independently from her partner.
that's why i cannot see the big deal about this. if a lady has a "silver spoon" or "i gotta take two cruises a year" lifestyle, she's not for me anyway, i won't lose sleep over it. i'm down-to-earth enough to consider someone regardless of her IMMEDIATE finances, however if i get to know someone and she can't manage her checkbook, it just won't work, i'll wind up breaking up with her, and looking for a woman who is independent, as that is the #1 thing I look for in a lady, i suppose that is ultimately a "dealbreaker". | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/31/2006 7:14:59 PM | iwarrior - you seem to be missing the point. It's not about the $$, per se -- but if one lives on their own, drives a decent vehicle, has a decent stable job - it shows they've worked hard, it shows they have drive, it shows they're responsible, it shows they know how to prioritize, it shows they're independent, it shows they can support themself -- is it so wrong to want someone with these qualities
No excuse me lady, it does not. I know lots of people that get to where they are because they know the right people, etc. Not everyone who makes good money is responsible or has drive. In fact, there are a lot of overpaid people out there.
On the other hand I know lots of people who bust their @$$es and barely scrape by.
God the classism astounds me.
People with $$$=good, moral, smart, hardworking.
People w/o=bad, immoral, dumb, lazy.
That's the philosophy that drives our public policy nowadays. Let's give tax cuts to the rich because they are awesome! Let's screw over the working man because if he was really someone, he'd be where we are.
And again, people who care about what I own and how much I pull down are not people I want to be with. Because if you do care about that, what does that say about you? You are likely after what I have (and don't say you aren't ). And what happens if I lose that great job? You're going to move on aren't you? And what happens if you find someone who has more than I do? You're going to move on aren't you?
The girl I am in love with lives with her parents and sister in a townhouse and doesn't own a car? I suppose I should hold that against her. She works 6 days a week, so she must not be lazy.
Eh screw it. I don't even know why I bother. I guess it just bugs me that there are people like you out there. You people need to take your Horatio Alger, American Dream, pie in the sky crap and go fly a kite. You're never gonna be rich. The game is rigged.
whoever said women rack up more debt...i can't remember, that simply isn't true. statistically women are more cautious and better savers.
Are they? I know rack up debt like anyone else. I've known women like that.
Again, someone who is chronically unemployed for no good reason is one thing. I can understand not wanting to date a person like that. But PLEASE don't assume that people who don't own a home or car are lazy and undesireable. God that burns me. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/31/2006 7:20:13 PM | of course i'm right. that being said men rack up MORE debt. so where is your ridiculous argument now??
i don't think you even realize just how sexist, insulting and condescending you are being.
you don't need to worry about anyone taking your money. prioritize! work on your social ineptness | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 7/31/2006 7:23:13 PM | of course i'm right. that being said men rack up MORE debt. so where is your ridiculous argument now??
But women don't at all?
Here, I found a relevant article about women and debt...
http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/Savinganddebt/Savemoney/P129594.asp
i don't think you even realize just how sexist, insulting and condescending you are being.
I don't think you realize how classist you are. And again, the double standard comes up. Men are expected to have all of these things. Women aren't. THAT is sexist. Assuming that because people who have more material possessions are better is CLASSISM.
you don't need to worry about anyone taking your money. prioritize! work on your social ineptness
Social ineptness? Do you know me personally? Uh, no. At least I have a social conscience and don't hide behind a confusing pic. | |
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