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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/17/2008 8:08:35 AM | Damn money talk, this world is ruled out by money, and what about the real inner life, where is your soul gone when you where working hardly 60-90 hours a week to support the womens luxury life expectations, where?
I got everything, my own house (no mortgage on it), my own car (no credit on it), my own land, where i working on and i live from it, hard work so to say and only a low income, but i can live with that, no problem, but some women needs more and more and more ... like in the tale: The fisherman´s wife! So why they can't get enough?
Why can't they see the other side of life:
Even with a small bank account, the one who is contented finds himself with great wealth.
Money's isn't all, take this into account, you wealthy and rich and spoiled women in the industrial world, what about all the poor man in the third world ... hah, so many didn't know what they will eat even if they will have something to eat, and you think about financial safety, so you are egoists!
Live and let live. And by the way true love needs no money!  | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/17/2008 8:14:38 AM |
and even have the gall to have one of those parties help him with his profile and emails.... grrrrrrrr
Of course they're willing to help....they want him off their sofa or out of their guest room.......
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/18/2008 3:40:43 PM | | I just happened to come across this thread and have scanned over a few of the pages, not read everything. When I was about 40 (I am now 57) a friend of mine who was 18 said to me "K----, you date guys I would not even talk to! Job! House! Car!" I then realized what she was saying. One needs standards, One needs to be sure a guy can hold his own, financially. That's all there is to it. This has nothing to do with being a gold digger, it's just a common sense guideline. And we can be a little flexible about it. Job doesn't necessarily mean job, it means some source of income and financial stability. House, well, some of us have good reasons for not choosing to own but living with parents is not acceptable (even if you are taking care of aging parents, you are probably not good at that time for a relationship,or if you're living on a hovel like a college kid, not good enough-shows little self respect.) Car, well, that's a tough one to do without living in northern TX, where public transportation still sucks and you can't get everywhere by bicycle, and definitely can't go on a date either way. Those of you worried about gold diggers from something so basic I would guess are either seriously paranoid, or seriously under accomplished. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/18/2008 3:51:10 PM | | I'm not saying that women are a buncha gold diggers, but heck, if I had a choice between a woman that was workin in a drug store, or a woman who was born into a bajillion dollars, I'd be a freakin' martian if I didn't at least consider the money over the lack thereof. We only human here. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:47:48 PM | I think most people, male or female, want to be with someone who---in case the dreaded life emergency should happen (accident, sickness, etc) that the other person has their back.
I mean don't most of us want to be with people, who can put words to action and help out when neccessary?
Also, don't we want people if say---we like to travel, they can pay for themselves? and not have to pay for all their stuff all the time. One income goes not so far, TWO twice as far.
I do believe in the middle ground here, we want people who are not going to suck us dry. Givers want Givers too!! You takers........can take it from the takers!
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/18/2008 7:24:47 PM |
I am 24 and I have no car. I don't see myself buying one any time soon either. Public transport costs way less, and it does the same job, why would I bother?
1) you're young
2) you live in a city with good public transportation.
I don't see why you would buy a car at this stage in your life based on where you live. :) | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/18/2008 8:37:34 PM | I must be a martian....now only if I could remember where I parked my UFO!
if I had a choice between a woman that was workin in a drug store, or a woman who was born into a bajillion dollars, I'd be a freakin' martian if I didn't at least consider the money over the lack thereof.
I would take the woman working at the drug store instead of the woman born into money.
Wouldn't even think twice about ditching the woman with money for the woman working at the drug store either. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/18/2008 11:12:36 PM | Depends how "descriptive they are about it
Also YES, they are gold diggers because it's safe to assume everyone is "independant"
The red flag is when the house has to be a mansion, the car a top of the line sports car, and the job a high status wage earner
You can spot a gold digger right away when the whole topic of conversation is ALL ABOUT where you live, what you do, and will you buy me this, take me here & there and pay for it all. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/19/2008 3:40:41 AM | We all just want to keep what we have worked so very hard to obtain.
There are men and women gold diggers. Its up to each individual to find them. How we do it is another subject. Sometimes we ask straight forward....Like me for example. I only ask that have your own stuff. Have your own house and/or car. And if you dont have a J O B, you better be self empolyed or rich, because Im not supporting you. I dont want your money silly, I just dont want you taking mine.
Women get taken for granted sometimes too. Its very touchy though. You just have to have a little 'trust'. Get to know someone before you let them in your pants/pockets.
What i cant understand is that ladys say you have to have all this stuff before you even talk with the person and i feel it means you are a goldigger, ask after you have meet and on the 3rd or 4th date but to ask right away before you even meet the guy is a goldigger. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/19/2008 4:30:32 AM |
...it's safe to assume everyone is "independant"
I so desperately wish that were true. There are a lot of people on who aren't independent, live with their parents, drive their parents car, and/or don't have a job. The library is right across from the homeless shelter here in town, I know those guys access the internet for free from there on a regular basis. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:34:41 AM | | I have all of those things, and I ask for the same back, within reason. You need a job, at my age no one is a 'full-time' student anymore. To me dating someone unemployed is opening a Pandora's Box of issues. Besides, wouldn't finding a job, not dating be the major concern? Car...where I live it is kinda a requirement, however if I met someone from the city...then it's fine not to own a car if you have public transportation. And house...I have a very nice and large apartment, as long as they have a permanent residence I don't care. Asking for those things should not be a major issue. Heck, I have a lot more requirements then that...haha | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/20/2008 7:57:51 AM | | The job, car, house & whatever is a must! I would also suggest soap, shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste & clean clothes. All his hair, teeth, arms & legs. No psychiatric problems, birth deficits, substance abuse, disabilities or felony record. I'm not kidding! I have seen most of this out there dating! | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/20/2008 9:15:45 AM | I'm working on this piece of life...
Real humility is rare because to have it you have to want nothing, yet when you have it you get everything.
How much do I really need anyway? Everything after that is a want... and there are some "wants" that I clearly don't really need, and at what cost to get them?
Once upon a time in a galaxy far away I had "the career" with the big cheque and I loved it and poured my life into it. Once my daughter was born tho', man she sure screwed up my priorities, I reevaluated everything. Put it all "up for grabs" and consciously picked the life I wanted. Suddenly what was more important than anything else was the time I spent with her. So I "downsized" my life in order to "upsize" my time... because time is the most precious commodity of all... it gave me the ability to be the mum I wanted to be for her. I lucked out because I truly love the work I do now, find it fulfilling and worthwhile and it pays quite well even tho' it doesn't compare with the big bucks that came with the other job I had loved.
But what I didn't anticipate out of this decision was how making a "values" choice in who I was being as a mum, was going to rattle through just about every other aspect of how I choose to live my life. (Especially once my "hedge-the-bet" nest-egg disappeared into the legal void at the end of a LTR - it is not always the man who pays lol. It's easy to be altruistic when you have a plan B in your hip pocket, when that dwindles you're left with courage and conviction.)
Even when it is your choice, sometimes it is hard to open your hands and let go of some of the "things" that once seemed so vital. The "lifestyle" that once seemed such a critical component of happiness. Even when I consciously chose the life I have now, when I say/know/believe what I experience now is much more than I ever thought was possible to get out of life before. Even with all of that compelling evidence, it is sometimes hard not to wish/want/long for that fancier car or bigger house or to travel more or go to the theatre more often or not buy that extra book or six the next time I wander past a book store. I could change up my life again now, except I like it too much the way it is and I gladly sacrifice "all that" for the joy of hitting the front porch at the same time as she does everyday. But man, oh man, there are days when that WANT of things reaches up and SMACKS me full in the face.
We were born into a material world and have to reconcile those desires with what feeds the soul. So, I have entire moments where I am gloriously happy with my life and others where I tussle with my demons. I am clear they are my demons and have nothing to do with the love I share with other people in my life... that is where life is lived. Or, at least, that's how it seems to me. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 2/27/2008 2:04:00 PM | | even when you have all these and youre in a relationship like marriage you end up fighting over money still and whoops there goes Love in lieu of materism. If you dont hink this is an insecure question really if you really were into someone and they were just greedy personality wise would you think shes a gold digger or materistic. If someone is happy for you do you suspect they want to take it from you. If they dont fit in your class or are just not into owning lots of things does that make them a golddigger | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:29:45 PM | | OMG, I am so sick of this crap!! Live your life as you see fit, listen to others criticism, but take with a grain of salt. The bible says "it is better to live alone in the corner of a attic than to share a mansion with a disgruntled woman". They are not disgruntled because of us, and we are not because of them, live in the moment and be real with yourself. People will do what they do for whatever reason, but it's not about us! The trouble is always that we don't know ourselves, we let people push us off our convictions, probably before we really formed them, so now we have to do that work within ourselves!! Good luck all, let's dig down and give ourselves that precious gift -our really, truly real self, and then everything else will follow... Enjoy the moment, every moment, no matter how painful, we can get satisfaction in all things, when we follow our true selves!! Enjoy!! In joy, Robert M. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:52:52 PM | This is what ive come to understand about this topic ( not all women are like this at least i hope) But when they say "A guy that can take care of me" means you have to work 10 to 16 hrs a day so she doenst have to work and go to the spa or get her nails done for the third time this week and then **** about that there not enough money in the checking account for whatever (couple of my friends give me this rant quite alot)
Now if say i was meeting somebody from here for a date its none of your god damned business how much i make. AND it shouldnt make the least bit of differnce in the deciding factor of love so.... | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 3/13/2008 8:01:38 PM | Money should not matter in love but to many they will love whomever has money it seems.
I have been asked on the first date about my credit rating, what the limit is on my credit card and how much money I make or how much I owe...give me a break!!! | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 3/13/2008 8:29:17 PM | JOb car and house! Read please before posting!
Yeah gold diggers. Just send them some hate mail and move on.
Or their just wierd some women need a sense of security. They like to have their past present and future secured, it's just needy nonsense really. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 3/13/2008 9:21:55 PM | I did not read this thread all the way through, so hope I'm not being redundant. Women are biologically wired to be attracted to a man who can be a protector and a provider. Men don't care about these qualities in a woman--they are wired to look for women who are physically appealing and who will need what they have to offer. The good news is, guys, that not all of us have the same exact requirements to feel protected and provided for. I once loved a man who lived with his parents and drove a 20-year old car (!) But he never let me pick up a tab; he always opened doors for me, brought me thoughtful gifts (like things I needed), and fixed things around my house. He cared for me in so many ways that I didn't notice he was poor. In fact it meant much more to me that he spent his hard-earned money on me than if he had been wealthy doing the same things. It is really how you make a woman feel that attracts her. But some women are not aware of that, and they think they need the outward trappings--house, fancy car, etc. These women may be missing out on some genuine guys who don't fit their picture.
On the other hand, if you don't drive, don't work, and live with your parents, you might consider that you are not ready to date someone. Women are definitely not attracted to a man that is going to be another dependent, like a child. It's good to be man enough to admit when you are not in a position to date anyone. To me, that shows strength of character. | |
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