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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 3/14/2008 1:30:01 PM | [QUOTE FROM Sherylin]Snakewhisperer, if you don't want to people to judge you based on what you say then make sure you tell the entire story. It was after all your story, you have the ability to control how it presented itself. :) If you read what you wrote you certainly did make it sound like you did all the taking and never any giving. You should probably have said that you always offered to pick up the tab and he woudn't let you like you did just now. :)[QOTOE]
You're probably right--I didn't fill in the details. :) The rest of the story is that both of us lived on a very modest income, though my expenses were greater than his because he lived with his parents and some extended family. Also, we never went anywhere that would break either of our banks. Money just was not an issue in this relationship. The point I was trying to make is that it is not how much money a guy makes or what kind of car he drives that makes him a man. It's the attitude. Once he was fixing something in my condo but I didn't have a decent flashlight. On his next visit, he brought me over a flashlight. Another time he was driving us back from breakfast and the sun was in my eyes, even with the visors down. So while he was driving, he very unconsciously put his left hand up to shield my eyes from the sun. These are the ways in which a man can make a woman feel cared for. It's not about what kind of car he drives. I've dated guys who drove jaguars and BMW SUV's. But do you think they would ever ask me if I was warm enough or if I minded the choice of radio station? It's all about the attitude toward women. I don't know why this is just so lost in our culture. I much prefer to date ordinary down-to-earth guys that are not rolling in money but behave like true gentlemen. Material wealth means nothing to me. Perhaps it means more to a woman if she grew up that way and is accustomed to it.
Although I only dated that guy for 6 months, I will never forget what a true gentleman he was.
And why would you automatically assume that I did nothing for him? | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 3/14/2008 4:01:44 PM | It is anyone's guess, but it is not unreasonable to require those things and financial solvency, if you marry someone you take on their debt, too. My second wife was broke and deep in debt. It was only a short marriage, a year, but I began it with $40,000 in cash in the bank and zero credit card debt and ended it with no savings and $40,000 in credit card debt. It took me years to recover and I was a very happy guy to have her out of my life. Of course, I was stupid to let her run our finances like I did, but never again. Maybe at least some of these women have lessons learned, too?  | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 4/11/2008 4:06:56 PM | hey, I don't blame a woman for asking if you have a job. too many low-lifes out there just looking for a woman to live off of. need a car to get around but I don't think that should be all that important. as far as a house is concerned, women ask me all the time. doesn't mean it's a requirement maybe just curious. when I first started online I lived in an apartment some women were cool with that some weren't. now I rent a house. some women don't mind, some do, some want to know why a single guy lives in a house and not apartment. I think it has to do more with stability not gold-digging. as long as it is stability I have no problem with women asking me that.
I don't know what anyone else thinks but as far as I'm concerned, there is alot of unemployment these days but there is always legal ways to make money. I think alot of women, well good women anyways, don't expect you to be rich but should atleast be making an effort to do something to make money. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:59:15 PM | This is my problem! I did get burned by a relationship (with an older man, not that it matters) who I completely fell for but who cost me a fortune. By the time I was £6k in debt and he started failing to turn up for work again, I had to end it.
Now, as sad as it may seem, one of my main criteria is a man who can look after himself. I am an independent woman with my own house, car, savings... and I had to work all the harder to get those things after our relationship ended! I need someone as independent as me.
Does that make me financially-oriented? Of course not, I'm just protecting myself.
And yes, at 25 I do prefer older men - but I genuinely believe this is more to do with maturity of personality than financial security. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:30:24 AM | I must say when I see a sentence that says"men wanting women to tc of them"I have to turn my head sideways because even on paper it simply doesn't look right.Imo it actually goes against what is normal.I mean look at the structure of the male form as compared to the female form.The male form is constructed for hardness and even in the love making the hardness of the male is prevalent not unrealistic but actually wanted by the female form not just her mind.The female form is built for softness and that is also displayed in lovemaking as she stays soft and doesn't become something she isn't meant to be.When God formed man it was done from the dirt and when he was cast out of eden he was told he would labor till his death in working.The woman was constructed,put together gently,out of a bone like sculpting out of clay or stone,you never can tell what it is supposed to be till it is finished and when she was cast out of eden she was told she would give birth in pain.So why do men get so angry when they think a woman wants to be taken care of?Not necessarily that she needs to be taken care of but simply she just wants to feel like she will be protected,looked after not waited on hand and foot.The rest imo is alot of confusion.You can't put a square peg in a round hole even the monkeys got that one figured out. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:48:01 AM | it's BS what women demand these days. where's the equal rights?
if they demand a man who has a home, and if she did what she expected a man to do so she'd also have a house, who moves to whom? there is so much stupiditiy on behalf of women these days who keep with old-fashioned structure of life in ways that they choose but purposely disregard when it does not conform to their feminist views. I could go into the cost of living impact on society based on too much home ownership per family unit but that's something selfish humans have a hard time grasping and so i won't even bother speaking of it here.
they are crushing society by how they choose men.
look at the great choosing that happens! if women chose better, there'd be 20% of women having a great marriage and the remaing 80% would be single, not wanting the crappy men that they presently think are actually the better ones! only 20% of men are really worthy based on him being responsible and women haven't figured out yet what defines that-they focus on something indirectly related to it and otherwise throw everything out the door when they choose a guy simply because of his eyes or for a tattoo or something so trivial for example and i know this stupid choosing happens!
women can tell me differently but if they actually used their brain and not make a knee-jerk personal attack because these words sound harsh emotionally to them, they'll continue with no change in their lives. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 4/24/2008 6:04:33 AM |
most are just wanting their dates to live away from their parents and have a steady job and income..
Spot on! 
halfalien, I've just read your post three times and can't derive a point from it... | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 4/24/2008 6:05:19 AM |
it's BS what women demand these days. where's the equal rights?
We are demanding equal rights. We want them to have the same things we do in our own lives.
if they demand a man who has a home, and if she did what she expected a man to do so she'd also have a house, who moves to whom?
Have you never heard of selling your home??
I could go into the cost of living impact on society based on too much home ownership per family unit but that's something selfish humans have a hard time grasping and so i won't even bother speaking of it here.
And we've already had that argument before.... so not worth rehashing. :D | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 4/24/2008 6:37:31 AM |
I would never sell my place to move in with some one even if we got married, if it work out i got my place yet.
Well if you can afford to own two places then go for it. :)
If I were to move in to a guys house I would turn my current place into a rental property and generate income and equity for the future. I wouldn't hang on to it though for the thought that we might not work out though... seems like you're killing the relationship before it even takes off if you go in with that mentality. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:27:43 AM | | It's just a matter of being able to support yourself. We don't need you to have a BMW or make over a huge amount of money, we don't even need you to have a house in Bel Air, we just want someone who is mature enough and stable. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:37:35 AM | I've talked to a few people and it seems to be that there are women out there who are looking for a man who makes a good living and has material wealth so that they can benefit from this in a potential relationship. Maybe they have a few kids to support and they have low paying jobs and want a better situation or wanting to have kids and want to know if he can support a family.
Or that there are women out there who have worked hard to get where they are and
they expect that their potential mate will be up to par and not be any kind of slacker
or someone who is not as ambitious as they are.
Fortunately, I'm in neither one of those situations.
Maybe these women should just not make it so obvious and gauge for themselves through conversations with the men they meet, BUT then it is in the men's best interest to have it laid out there like that so they can bypass them altogether if
the money interest issue is a problem.
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:10:40 PM | are you ****in' kiddin' me?
that is such a painfully obvious question that it pains me that you ACTUALLY asked it
let me ask you this.
would you want to be around a woman who has no vehicle, employment, money or fixed address?
unless you are sixteen and she is of the same, i am betting a resounding NO.
i am sure that they are just simply weeding out the losers whom are sponges
gold diggers dont ask it. they just walk right in and start to utilize whatever they can
and they dont care if you have, all they care about is that you can get it for them
everybody comes to the answer man | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 4/24/2008 4:55:05 PM | what's it matter whether a woman has a job, car or house? as long as she's responsible. Basically all you have to do is see if there is effort or past effort in her procuring money and see how she spends it. If she gets by on $500 per month, does it really matter? A financially savvy woman is a rare find.
How about assessing men based on responsibleness?
some guys have no job and yet have 500X the amount of cash compared to the average person
if he decides to give up his car to walk or ride a bike, would that matter? if a car was necessary it could be rented or his driver could take him (and you) around
if he prefers to rent until home prices are reasonable, does that irk you...or you want him to pay more than fair price as a sign of stupidity?
yeah yeah yeah, I've heard so much here and saw so much in real life. almost funny, except that lives are involved. | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:30:51 AM | Ok i work my butt off everyday. I make an ok wage. But there are 2 ex's out there that own nice homes because of me. Now i have to rent untill i cant pay off the bills that were created from the last ex before i can save up to buy my own home again.
Do i want a rich woman? sure who doesnt but what i really want is a woman that takes me for who i am and not what she thinks i am.
So to the women out there that require a man to own a home stop and look at the whole picture maybe he did have all the things your looking for and gave them to his ex or had them takin from him by an ex.
I may not be living with my mother but that guy that is, might be smarter than me because he will be back on his feet and own a home long before me
Give us a break! look at the whole picture before you judge us!
yours, Sonny | |
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| Must have job, car, house...are they after my cash?
Posted: 5/2/2008 8:58:44 AM | Oh bull, there are lots of women that have enough gumption to make their own way. We are not looking for a child to raise we are looking an equal that has or is willing to bring something to the relationship. If you don't have a job or a car, what do you have to bring to a relationship????
If you're cute that's great, but that isn't enough, for a guy or a gal. | |
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