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 sillyatheart3
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 26
Coupons and DatingPage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
great question. the only thing is this.. make sure you tell your date while you are talking to her on date that you do this and ask her if it would imbarres her if you used on on the first date.. most women would love it.. why she knows you are saving for the future. Good man.. you will go far in life. belive me..

my mother dated a man who did this and he was worth.. 1.5million dollares.. the sory is this.. he was so cheep but in the end he died with all his money .. he never married.. so who got the money.. the state.. llo it is a true story.. his name was Kermit.. he blew most of it in Las Vegas o with my mothers help.. and you should have seen the 3 carot diamond ring on her finger and the jaguar.. man thay have a lot of wireing problem..

So the moral of the story is this. if you are using coupones.. good for you you will be rich some day.. but dont hog all the money spend it wisley on the family and love one and your wife man.. spend it on your wife. spoil her too death. for what you save in the coupons on buy her the ring she has always wanted.. lol
 GuyN3xtDoor
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 27
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Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/10/2009 3:16:38 AM
Response to message 3 which reads:

"Nothing wrong with coupons per se. But it does kinda say that you're cheap. When it comes to love, why be cheap?"

Why would using a coupon say that a person is cheap?
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 28
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Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/10/2009 9:07:08 PM

Why would using a coupon say that a person is cheap?

More to the point, it indicates that the person is frugal. I grew up with a father who made an art out of frugality. Ultimately, the end message was that we were not worthy unless it was a bargain. What is the message you want your date to go home with?
 GuyN3xtDoor
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 29
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Posted: 10/11/2009 2:54:07 AM
Responding to message 28: "More to the point, it indicates that the person is frugal. I grew up with a father who made an art out of frugality. Ultimately, the end message was that we were not worthy unless it was a bargain. What is the message you want your date to go home with?"

Sure, I can accept the judgement of being frugal. However, I think earlier posts may have used the word "cheap" loosely, since someone that is cheap is usually someone who doesn't cover their portion of the bill in a group or trys to leave their responsibilities on another, when they are capable of covering their own expenses.

I can see why one might feel the way you did, given your circumstances. However, at least in my case, when I use a coupon it usually doesn't have anything to do with the person I'm out with. It is simply a tool to either manage money better, allow me to afford a better dinner than I could otherwise or in todays scenario, being able to afford to do anything at all.

In answering your question about what message I would want my date to go home with? Based upon the thoughts people have shared previously and my recent past experiences, I have a feeling it would be unlikely that all of my dates would be comfortable with my using a 2 for 1 coupon to pay for dinner. Why a person would have a problem with it when I'm covering the cost of our dinner, is somewhat confusing to me.

It would still be nice to find someone that is less judgemental and simply appreciates the opportunity to go out for a bite to eat and to spend time getting to know one another better, regardless of how much is spent on the date. Therefore, the message I would want her to go home with after our date would be that how much is spent doesn't have anything to do with her personally. And, hopefully she would feel appreciative that she was invited out for a meal and to enjoy spending time together.

So roughly, what would you guess would be the percentage of women that would fall into the category that I'm hoping to find?
 absofreakinlutely
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 30
Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:35:12 AM
Coupons on the first few dates indicate "You are not worth the price of a full priced entree" and it comes across as cheap. Another problem with coupons is they are sometimes for restaurants I am not in the mood to eat at or they have so many restrictions. Who wants to go out to dinner only to be told "Ok, now we can only go to these two restaurants as they are the only places I have coupons for." or " Oh, yeah and you can only order entrees less than $12 and only chose from the following 4 choices" Not romantic in the least.

Whenever a guy makes an issue of using a coupon, I always say "I'll buy. Keep it for another time."
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 31
Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/11/2009 7:41:34 AM

Why a person would have a problem with it when I'm covering the cost of our dinner, is somewhat confusing to me.

Good grief.. watch for beer cans falling from the sky...

Stop acting so clueless.. men on dates don't use friggin coupons.
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 32
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Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/11/2009 10:58:42 PM

So roughly, what would you guess would be the percentage of women that would fall into the category that I'm hoping to find?

I have no idea but I would suggest that you forego dinner dates and choose activity dates for the opportunity to get to know eachother better.

Dating provides us with an opportunity to assess the other's attitude about many things - money being one of them. In the precious, initial dates, I wouldn't be too enthusiastic about a guy who proudly pulled out "two for one" coupons. A not too pretty picture of future life would loom.
 GuyN3xtDoor
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 33
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Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:43:37 AM
Response to message 31: "Good grief.. watch for beer cans falling from the sky... Stop acting so clueless.. men on dates don't use friggin coupons."

Hi Only This,

I don't know that beer cans falling from the sky have anything to do with this forum topic or thread. I'm actually more of a red wine guy myself. You call it clueless. I'd call it curious. And, actually men on dates do use coupons. Maybe not all men or within the first few dates, however many men have and still do. If they didn't the Entertainment book would not have grown into such a popular publication. And, many upscale restaurants, such as even Morton's Steak House wouldn't have offered coupons. Good grief...unless only women have been using them?
 GuyN3xtDoor
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 34
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Posted: 10/12/2009 2:58:35 AM
Responding to message 32:

"I have no idea but I would suggest that you forego dinner dates and choose activity dates for the opportunity to get to know each other better."

- Sure, activity dates would be a good alternative. A good suggestion!

"Dating provides us with an opportunity to assess the other's attitude about many things - money being one of them. In the precious, initial dates, I wouldn't be too enthusiastic about a guy who proudly pulled out "two for one" coupons. A not too pretty picture of future life would loom."

- I'm not sure the coupon should be pulled out proudly, however if he did why would a not so pretty picture of future life loom?
 Retirement Romance
Joined: 8/16/2009
Msg: 35
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Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/12/2009 6:47:28 AM
Personally, I don't have a problem with someone using coupons. I've saved thousands of dollars over the years using them! I think it shows someone to be a good steward of their money.

I would recommend, however, that you not use one for the first date. Find out what kind of person you're dealing with - they may think they're into Mr. Flashy Big Bucks! But, you'll find out in normal conversation because people's attitudes about money management WILL come out.

The spending/saving of money can be, and usually is, a major deal in long-term relationships. Better to find out where each of you stand before investing too much time. I married someone who figured out my way of handling money meant he'd have much more to spend and that I would take care of him. His spending habits (plus other things) tore up the marriage.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 36
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Posted: 10/12/2009 7:21:57 AM
Such as a 2-for-1 coupon? Fine by me, if I have such a coupon, but my dates might not like being one of the two when they expected to have me all to themselves.
 Cape Sunshine
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 37
Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/12/2009 8:55:47 AM
Stop acting so clueless.. men on dates don't use friggin coupons.


Listen to him.... !!!

Coupons are a bad idea.
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 38
Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/12/2009 9:02:27 AM

don't know that beer cans falling from the sky have anything to do with this

Milwaukee's Best beer commercial "Men Should Act Like Men" ... those that don't have a giant beer can fall on them. If you've never seen the commercials.. google it. It definitely applies here.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 39
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Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/12/2009 2:12:14 PM
RR wrote:
Personally, I don't have a problem with someone using coupons. I've saved thousands of dollars over the years using them! I think it shows someone to be a good steward of their money.
Preach it sister. Stewardship is big in my book.

But the she goes on to say:
I would recommend, however, that you not use one for the first date. Find out what kind of person you're dealing with - they may think they're into Mr. Flashy Big Bucks! But, you'll find out in normal conversation because people's attitudes about money management WILL come out.
I wrote on another thread of a similar bent that I was in need of duct tape to wrap my head in as some of the opinions were in danger of blowing my mind. While i am still in danger of blowing my mind, and still in need of duct tape, I am more of a mind to pull out some coupons ON a first date just to find out of what bent of mind my date is concerning money.

Finally:
The spending/saving of money can be, and usually is, a major deal in long-term relationships. Better to find out where each of you stand before investing too much time. I married someone who figured out my way of handling money meant he'd have much more to spend and that I would take care of him. His spending habits (plus other things) tore up the marriage.

Should I mention that I bake my own bread, darn socks instead of throwing 'em out, <- truncate words to save electrons, grow alot of my own food, try to fix that which breaks, change my truck's oil, etc. I'm not flashy with money, live simply, and if using coupons gets some empty headed girl gets her panties all up in a bunch I'll just sit back and enjoy the show and thank God for the early indicator.

What about choosing to go to a steak house when it offers half priced meals? Is that also a faux pas? If so, then more for me! Not that I need it.

TK
{p.s., Dairy Queen over here on the left slope has half priced Peanut Buster Parfaits this month - Oct}
 NerdStatus
Joined: 1/9/2007
Msg: 40
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Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/13/2009 4:44:49 PM

When it comes to love, why be cheap?

If he uses the coupon, it makes 100% NO DIFFERENCE in the quality of the food or service you receive. The ONLY difference is he spent less money to get it. Which means he knows how to most efficiently use his dollars. In this day and age of upside down debt to income ratios - you'd think people would finally learn a lesson or two about making the best use of the money they have.

This is where I think it's just best to be you. If someone's logic is so flawed that they think you saving $5 is a deal killer (even though she got the SAME food and the SAME service), then they're probably not going to understand all your other purchasing decisions. Since money is one of the big killers in a relationship - why not find out now she'd rather see you spend more money for the same item to "prove" something to her?

In my experience, bait that hook with you. 100% you. Don't pretend to be anyone other than you - especially on those first critical few dates. Don't modify your behavior or spending habits. She's either into you for you... or she's not. And, the sooner you find out - the better.
 GuyN3xtDoor
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 41
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Posted: 10/13/2009 5:39:06 PM
(Response to prior entry)

"If he uses the coupon, it makes 100% NO DIFFERENCE in the quality of the food or service you receive. The ONLY difference is he spent less money to get it. Which means he knows how to most efficiently use his dollars. In this day and age of upside down debt to income ratios - you'd think people would finally learn a lesson or two about making the best use of the money they have.

This is where I think it's just best to be you. If someone's logic is so flawed that they think you saving $5 is a deal killer (even though she got the SAME food and the SAME service), then they're probably not going to understand all your other purchasing decisions. Since money is one of the big killers in a relationship - why not find out now she'd rather see you spend more money for the same item to "prove" something to her?

In my experience, bait that hook with you. 100% you. Don't pretend to be anyone other than you - especially on those first critical few dates. Don't modify your behavior or spending habits. She's either into you for you... or she's not. And, the sooner you find out - the better."

Hi NerdStatus,

I couldn't have said it better myself.

You truly have the rare gift of excellent communication!

Many women have recommended not using coupons on the first few dates, which is doable in most cases. Probably not a bad thing to try as it may make for a more creative date, doing activity dates and such.

Many women have said that they do not make a negative judgement when a man uses a coupon to pay the bill at a restaurant, but it appears most will. After reading a few of the entries here and having spoken with a lady friend of mine on the subject last night, it appears that many, but not all, women, make this negative judgement because they somehow feel it is an indication of how interested the man is in her.

In my case this just isn't so, never the less if that is what they are thinking then it may be worthwhile to figure out how to work around that. A woman in an earlier entry recommended getting up from the table to pay the bill at the register or the bar. My lady friend said that if the coupon becomes a point of conversation with a date, it would be best if the person using the coupon explained to the other that they are just as valued when using a coupon, as they would be without using a coupon.

I personally don't understand a woman thinking we view them as any less because we use a coupon, but hopefully one of the women here can explain this way of thinking to us men. There have been a few women who have indicated this way of thinking.
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 42
Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/13/2009 6:29:36 PM
I personally don't understand

Just keep pushing it dude...

The simple fact of the matter is that you don't have to stand when a woman leaves the table, you don't have to put a napkin in your lap, and you can pick your teeth with the fork if you like. All those things show a lack of class and reflect on character.

Using a coupon on a date is tasteless and shows a lack of basic sophistication and posting 1000 messages isn't going to change that.

More power to ya in your quest...
 JohnGaltLives
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 43
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Posted: 10/13/2009 9:58:46 PM
onlythis said:

Using a coupon on a date is tasteless and shows a lack of basic sophistication...

According to whom? Who set this benchmark? What objective criteria are being used to make this determination? What's your source material? I mean, if you're going to make an absolute blanket statement like this, you must have something irrefutable to back it up, right?

Or is it... you only have your opinion on the matter? Nothing wrong with that opinion, but you should probably present it as such.

Let's use some logic here:

Scenario A: Man takes woman to dinner at a "nice" restaurant with quality service, desirable ambiance, and high-quality food. Man pays for everything 100% out of his pocket. Woman considers the man to be a viable date, indicates she had a great time.

Scenario B; Man takes woman to dinner at a "nice" restaurant with quality service, desirable ambiance, and high-quality food. Man uses a coupon to defer the cost of some of the meal. Woman considers the man to be "cheap", gets offended that he used the coupon, thinks significantly less of him. He isn't likely to get another date with her.

What do these two scenarios share? They went to a "nice" restaurant with quality service, desirable ambiance and high-quality food. The man paid for everything.

What do these two scenarios not have in common? In Scenario A the man paid for everything with nothing but money in his pocket/bank account/credit card. In Scenario B the man paid for everything, but part of the cost was defrayed by a coupon.

So since everything else was equal, if the woman was offended by Scenario B, we can only logically conclude that she was offended by the method of payment, or by the fact that the payment wasn't at 100% full cost. It thus logically stands to reason, then, that she considers the amount of money spent on the date to be a determining factor on the quality of the date.

As an aside, the Merriam-Webster Dictionary's definition of "materialistic":

a preoccupation with or stress upon material rather than intellectual or spiritual things


Thus by this definition, she's being materialistic. Few people consider that a desirable perspective or personality trait.

So since we have no objective benchmark against which to compare, and thus determine an objective definition of "Tasteless" or "lack of basic sophistication", it thus stands to reason that the reliance on the amount spent, or the method by which it's spent, has no objective value on the quality of a date save to someone who elevates material considerations above all other things.

Which places those ladies who have posted here indicating they'd think less of a man for using a coupon in a very unenviable position that they can't quite wrangle out of without being forced to accept their willing participation in a materialistic worldview.

Which, of course, would be a great service to any of their potential suitors reading such a post: whether the guy(s) in question is financially well-off or not, he can at least tell ahead of time whether those ladies would, if interest were present, be more interested due to who he was, or due to how much he was willing to spend on them.
 debranator
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 44
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Posted: 10/13/2009 11:12:03 PM
I do see your point..and you do have one..
but,its funny that I found this thread..
I have been a professional couponer for a few years now...
yes,there are such things..I stopped recently..for a better paying sidline..
but, there are those of us that pay the bills by couponing..there are entire net sites that are focused on this..and other extreme deal making..
but...as a woman..I would NEVEr date one of these men..LOL!!
I can be cheap..he had better not be...
after a few dates..sure..I can wanle even the best resturants and broadway shows for peanuts..but,the deal making..would have to be my idea.
 OnlyThis
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 45
Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/14/2009 3:48:11 AM

According to whom?

Imagine me using my best Jeff Foxworthy voice:

If your idea of a classy restaurant includes a 2 for 1 coupon... you could be a redneck.

Good luck to you guys. We simply travel in different circles.
 mermaid140
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 46
Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/14/2009 6:42:42 AM
This should be your game plan. Your a coupon type of guy so, you need to find a frugal coupon type of girl. Use your coupons on your first date. If she sticks around then she is a KEEPER. Don't let her go!!!! Just a warning thou.. There won't be many women to choose from...

There would be no second date with me.. I don't like cheap men.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 47
Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/14/2009 7:33:08 AM
OP: I will be very turned-off if a man I just met used a coupon. After we have established a friendship/relationship, I don't mind, but not in the beginning of the courting stage.
 JohnGaltLives
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 48
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Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:06:27 AM
debranator said:

I do see your point..and you do have one..
but,its funny that I found this thread..
I have been a professional couponer for a few years now...
yes,there are such things..I stopped recently..for a better paying sidline..
but, there are those of us that pay the bills by couponing..there are entire net sites that are focused on this..and other extreme deal making..
but...as a woman..I would NEVEr date one of these men..LOL!!
I can be cheap..he had better not be...
after a few dates..sure..I can wanle even the best resturants and broadway shows for peanuts..but,the deal making..would have to be my idea

Whether you realize it or not, you just communicated that you're a hypocrite. You don't mind using coupons at all for paying bills, seeking out websites that have coupons for just that purpose, and then you say "I can be cheap, he better not be". There's no double-standard here. You don't get to choose to use coupons and then have solid ground to stand on for telling a man that he couldn't likewise use coupons, even on a first (or second, or third) date with you.

On the other hand, at least in your own post you're honest about your rampant hypocrisy. Points for that, at least.

mermaid888 said:


There would be no second date with me.. I don't like cheap men.

So you a) equate the usage of coupons to be "cheap", and b) think how much money a man spends on the date is a factor in determining whether he gets a second date or not? At least you're being honest about your materialism. There's another word for it that starts with "g" and ends with "old-digger", but I'm not certain it would be necessary to go quite that far yet...

sabrosura said:


I will be very turned-off if a man I just met used a coupon. After we have established a friendship/relationship, I don't mind, but not in the beginning of the courting stage.

Why does the first date matter more than after you know him a bit as far as the spending of money goes? Are you, likewise, saying that how much money he spends on you on the first date is a deciding factor? What if he didn't spend any money, and you took a hike or a walk in the park? If you'd say "That would be fine", then you set yourself up as a hypocrite, if you say "No go", you risk communicating that money is even more important than I'm accusing you of saying to begin with. Quite the corner you've backed yourself into.
 mermaid140
Joined: 9/29/2009
Msg: 49
Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:43:53 AM
{{{So you a) equate the usage of coupons to be "cheap", and b) think how much money a man spends on the date is a factor in determining whether he gets a second date or not? At least you're being honest about your materialism. There's another word for it that starts with "g" and ends with "old-digger", but I'm not certain it would be necessary to go quite that far yet...}}}

I am not a gold-digger. I just don't like cheap men. They tend to complain about money all the time. On how much things cost and so forth. Not many people want to listen to that. I know I don't.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 50
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Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/14/2009 11:15:08 AM
mermaid888 (and echoed by many others of her ilk) wrote:
I am not a gold-digger. I just don't like cheap men. They tend to complain about money all the time. On how much things cost and so forth. Not many people want to listen to that. I know I don't.


If the difference a coupon makes is a dinner at Burger King vs. fine dinning at a steak house, I think I'll choose the coupon or two for one night. Apparently it is ill-mannered of us to label gold digger behavior as gold digging, but not ill-mannered to call Men who use coupons to upgrade a date "cheap."

While I don't have the memory anymore to remember what I did 30+ years ago, I don't readily recall using coupons back in the day. But then, way back then the issue of money, retirement, paying bills, the immediacy of personal responsibility, child(ren), etc., weren't the in my face issues that they are now.

Let's face it ladies (of this particular ilk), you equate coupons as sort of the antithesis to that large rock you want on your finger before you say "I might." This discussion has turned the corner to where it is clear that to a certain sub-selection of the female population that the measure of a man is not how much fun you two can and do have together, rather it is only a measure of how much money or other resources are spent in a effort to woe you.

As if what financial / material expenditures flashed prior to some sort of (quasi)permanent relationship guarantees a similar level of expenditures afterwards.

Personally, I've never understood that big hunk of useless mineral on a woman's finger. Perhaps now it is evident that for some females it's best to look at it as a bribe or male dowry. Fortunately, I too much respect for myself and the woman in my future to play that game. And as I said earlier, perhaps the use of coupons early might be one way to separate the chaff from the wheat berry.

TK
{Money is naught but a tool; it should not be used as a substitute to measure the worth of a man (or woman)}
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