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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 10/18/2009 4:14:14 PM | Sabrosura,
If we go out on a dinner date for OUR FIRST DATE , and he whips out a coupon I would find that very cheesy/tasteless.
WHY? Why is it cheesy & tasteless if a guy has a gift card (coupon) that he uses towards it? "Just because" would be a cheesy/tasteless response, btw. And I'll say WHY, too... because "just because" is without substance, hence no merit to it.
Now, one gal said it means he's cheap. Okay, at least that's a step better, but HIGHLY snobbish and downright silly & inaccurate.
Someone's being a cheapskate when one sacrifices QUALITY to save a buck or two, not just a notable savings on the raw price of the same thing. Additionally, a cheapskate could be seen as someone who puts in WAY too much effort to save a marginal amount of money (hence, not worth it, and too worried about spending on the small scale; tacky).
Cheapskate:
- "Hey, hate to call you again. Let's reschedule dinner for Thursday instead. I like Olive Garden, but Dennys on 44th street has a buy-one-dinner-get-one-free on Thursdays from 8-10PM." (Substituting clear quality difference to save even a decent amount of money)
- "Sorry -- I was almost late! I had to turn the car around to get that $1 off coupon!" (Tooo much effort for a buck! wtf)
- "Wait, we're at Bennigans! Great! I've been waiting to use this Save $1 off two cokes coupon I clipped out of the newspaper! Here, lemme find it in my wallet... Oh, I hope I didn't leave it at home..." (Same impression as above)
- "I budgeted our dinner to be $30 total, and it comes out to be $35. You have 5 bucks?" (You're poor or care too much about $5)
- "I liked our waitress, she was Awesome. I'm going to give her a 16% tip!" (20% tip is the usual, dumbass; 15% is for old people or 'you sucked'; you're coming off as a cheapskate bigtime)
Not a Cheapskate:
- Putting down a $25 gift card towards bill while paying for the whole thing.
- Putting down a coupon for a buy-one-get-one-free dinner, while he pays for the entire bill otherwise (drinks, etc).
- "Let's get an appetizer. I always come here, and always use Free Appetizer tickets I got. I love their wings..."
In essence, if you think a date is an interview to see how much cash (and only in the form of bills & CC) he can spend on you, then that obviously says something about ya. Not only is a guy supposed to treat the lady, but it must be a WHOLE personal financial sacrifice before her very eyes? lol Wow.
IMO, a guy shouldn't give the impression he's poor or cares TOO much about saving a measily dollar. Yeah, if you have a $1 off coupon, save that for a non-first date... gives the impression you went way out of your way to save just a buck and such concentration on saving a buck here or there makes you stingy, since she doesn't know you yet. At the same time, if you two go for ice cream after dinner, and you have two gift certificates for two free cones, and she'd be offended if you offered to use them with her -- she's stuck up beyond belief, so it was a good thing to "interview" HER by seeing her response to that. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/15/2009 10:41:31 AM | Save the coupons for the grocery store...it's ghetto to use them on dates. And P.S. Toyota Echo's are not chic-magnets, they're gimp-mobiles. Whoever told you that was retarded...it's has 105 hp...LOL omg, I'd rather drive something powered by rubber bands and hamsters on wheels!
Beth
omg you must be so much fun on a date with ur ability to recognize sarcasm ..
why is it ghetto ?? its old fashioned for the bloke to even be paying in the first place
i would personally pay for it all but if you think thats how it "should" be what gives you that sense of entitlement
maybe if u paid your half they wouldnt use coupons or if you wanna be old fashioned you should be in front of the stove making him his tea | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/15/2009 10:46:53 AM | Whatever you do, don't take an expired coupon and try to negotiate with the waitress to see if they will accept it in front of your date.... you don't want to embarrass your date.
Of course, I have never done such a thing and know nothing about it... if you believe this, I'll tell you another one, LOL!  | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/15/2009 6:36:26 PM | | Why wait till the third date? When I take a lady out I never hint she should limit her meal to any cost. I tell her to order what she likes and if the restaurant sells drinks I offer her what she wants. What's the big deal in saving $12 on a $60 evening? I open the doors, pay for the meal, buy the flowers and do my best to a lady a good time. Does a coupon from the Entertainment Book or using the card negate an otherwise good time out? | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/15/2009 7:24:21 PM | I don't believe in trying to buy a woman's affection or interest. And I certainly am not one to provide entertainment and meals to the multitude of "USERS" out there.
However, it has to be understood that many women, do make judgments on a man in such circumstances. Judgments about his ability to pay, or whether he's a tight wad or cheapskate! On the other hand, a man may show confidence (using his coupons), to the extent that he doesn't care what people (or her) think, and THAT, can be extremely attractive! | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/15/2009 9:49:51 PM | | A coupon on a first or second date would be a definite no in my book and a real turn off. Actually, I wouldn't be comfortable with a guy to use any coupons with me until we have been dating for a quite substantial time. Not only does it show you are cheap, but that you don't really care about the girl enough to pay full price for her. Once you are comfortable with her and she with you, you might get away with it, but if any guy used a coupon on me for the first date, I wouldn't date him again. And by the way.... attractive... it AIN'T. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/15/2009 9:59:21 PM | ^^Well, how would this be? Can't use my coupons, then YOU pay!
Problem solved!
Oh, And I'll be having the Lobster and Champagne | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/16/2009 8:32:31 AM |
Not only does it show you are cheap, but that you don't really care about the girl enough to pay full price for her.
This is what I don't understand. How does it have anything to do with caring about the other person? It's just not being wasteful; say I'm treating, and I use a coupon, the other party gets the same good food, drink, and service they would have got if I didn't use it. The only difference is I'd have wasted money I didn't need to waste, and now I can afford, for example, another tank of gas. Same thing if a man's buying. Why would I grudge him that?
I'm sorry, but wanting someone to pay more because you just want them to pay more is the stupidest tautology I can recall seeing in recent memory. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/16/2009 9:55:44 AM | It is a very highly prized trait for a woman to be respectful of a man's money. And believe me, I know some women who make no secret about taking a man for all they can get!
I see far too much of this entitlement attitude. Or women that insist on elaborate dates! Skydiving, theme parks, going to restaurants that they would never think of paying for themselves! They arn't interested in the man, they want to be wined, dined and entertained! I guess, if there are suckers out there, more power to them! So many men, have no idea how much they are being used. lol
A number of women have described me as generous, but if I get any hint that a woman expects or worse demands something of me, she gets NOTHING from me at all! | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/16/2009 10:57:33 AM | Helen,
How does it have anything to do with caring about the other person?
They see it as making more of a financial sacrifice (even though the coupons have financial value at said location). They want to see it right before their eyes. Not only do they want you to pay the whole thing, they want you to pay it in cash or CC only! Said girls do not accept coupons! :)
Personally, I think it'd be a good idea to bring a significant gift certificate out on a first date if a guy suspects she's a uptight b!tch or gold-digger (and he's not looking to get laid). It's a great test. Said women will show their true colors in that situation, and react the same way a normal gal would react as if the guy had to run home 15 mins away to get a $1 off coupon . | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/16/2009 11:29:43 AM |
Personally, I think it'd be a good idea to bring a significant gift certificate out on a first date if a guy suspects she's a uptight b!tch or gold-digger (and he's not looking to get laid). It's a great test.
- I tend to agree, could be a good qualifier. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/16/2009 12:01:04 PM | Considering that on a 1st date, I usually insist on going Dutch, I'd be more than thrilled if someone wanted to use a coupon for our meal!!
I think it shows that the gentleman is very conscious of the economy & is unlikely to be a spend-a-holic in a relationship. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/16/2009 5:00:48 PM | | I think coupons are a good thing, but kind of lame for the first few dates. It's a first impression thing. Once you've been dating long enough for your date to know you for who you are, it's less of an issue. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/16/2009 11:42:31 PM | kjacks31 said:
I think coupons are a good thing, but kind of lame for the first few dates. It's a first impression thing. Once you've been dating long enough for your date to know you for who you are, it's less of an issue.
Isn't the whole point of the first date to show them who you are? Don't you want them deciding to date you (or not to date you) based on who you really are, and not who you are when you're "putting your best foot forward"?
It comes down to a simple logic issue. If it's okay to use coupons on later dates, there's no reason why it isn't all right to use coupons on the first date. One of two scenarios is going to occur: 1) She's going to get offended because you aren't paying "full price" for the first date, thus showing herself to be materialistic, or 2) She's going to recognize that you understand money as a limited resource, and want to use it wisely.
I think that when it comes to dating, we should be working a lot less hard on actively trying to impress someone, and a lot harder on being someone the other person would naturally be impressed by. It's literally a "trying too hard" situation. I'm fine with the fact that there are going to be people, men and women both, who don't like me. So long as their choice there is made on who I am and not surface factors that may or may not be indicative of my actual being, no harm, no foul. Not everyone will like everyone else.
But likewise, I know there are going to be people, men and women both, who do like me, and I didn't have to put forth any extra effort. As a result of whatever relevant personality factors within them resonated, they naturally liked me after encountering me. In such situations, there's a pretty solid chance I'm going to likewise be drawn to them. I feel a lot more proud and secure of such friendships because they occurred organically, and no one had to put forth specific effort to impress.
It goes the same way in the dating arena for me. If I see a woman who's dressing specifically to get attention, paying lots of attention to her makeup, hair style, accessories, etc., I'm more often than not going to be repulsed by her. I'm going to conclude she's vain, shallow, self-centered, and honestly lacks a good deal of confidence in herself; she doesn't trust that who she is will attract people, so she has to slather on trowels full of cosmetics, spend hundreds (or more) of dollars on brand-name clothing, bags, heels, etc., and has to present herself in such a fashion as to scream "Hey! Look at me! Notice me! I'm here! Do you love me?"
Meanwhile, the woman walking down the street in a nice blouse or t-shirt and jeans, with her hair simply combed or maybe pulled back in a ponytail, maybe with some glasses on, wearing a simple down jacket if it's cold, unassuming leather jacket if it's cool, or just a light sweater if there's a breeze, is going to catch my attention a lot quicker. She's going to have an easy, cadenced stride, she's able to meet strangers' eyes and smile at them in a friendly, open fashion, and she exudes approachability, intelligence and depth by her simple demeanor.
Somehow, I think it's easy to figure out, between these two polar opposite types I've presented, who's going to be offended by a date using coupons and who either won't care or might actually be impressed. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/17/2009 5:02:14 AM | If I see a woman who's dressing blahblahblah
Meanwhile, the woman walking down the street in a nice blahblahblah
So... judging people (ie: women) who are walking down the street by their outward appearance and actually ASSUMING to know anything about their character is okay - a person (ie: woman) making any kind of judgement/personal decision regarding the compatibility of her date, a person she's having an actual face to face encounter with, is not okay.
In fact, not only is it not okay, but now that woman will most likely be labeled shallow, vain, self centered, materialistic, __________, __________ and _________ (left as blanks for your labeling pleasure:).
...
OP....a person using a coupon on a first date is not a big deal to me. There are far more important things to look for in a person (ie: intellectual honesty or lack thereof) that lets you see exactly who they are.
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/17/2009 8:32:11 AM |
Personally, I think it'd be a good idea to bring a significant gift certificate out on a first date if a guy suspects she's a uptight b!tch or gold-digger (and he's not looking to get laid). It's a great test. Said women will show their true colors in that situation, and react the same way a normal gal would react as if the guy had to run home 15 mins away to get a $1 off coupon .
Ha! I like it. Forget the whole argument of "Why do you want me to pay more?" "Because I want you to pay more." Just note the response...
Sometimes, money can be tight, so why not save a few bucks wherever you can. Why not take your 2 for 1 coupon and pull the waiter aside while supposedly going to the men's room. this way, you get your discount without her knowing. And be sure to tip him at least 20% of the PRE-discounted amount. Karma is a **** and cheap tipping is a sure way to get Lady Karma ticked off at you.
All sound advice when in a more upscale establishment. If my date's buying, I don't need to know the details; it's none of my business. And I'm also a firm believer in good tipping on principle - service jobs aren't just low-paid, they're incredibly stressful, too.
I'm starting to think maybe I'll get myself one of those coupon books this year...
It still amazes me how much discussion there is about this sort of thing. It hasn't been an issue of any kind for me on an actual date and I think I'm in the majority there. | |
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| Coupons and Dating
Posted: 11/17/2009 8:15:25 PM | | I'm usually a 20% tipper, more generous if someone else is paying, and way more generous if it's a comped [insert item here]. I base this off the "full retail" price before any discounts. | |
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