| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 5/26/2006 2:52:45 AM | sounds like he's moved on. he's out of your life. you dont need to be treated bad. Phuck him... u dont need him.
enjoy the fact that you are single, take a break from the opposite sex for a bit and reconnect with friends and family.
Look on the bright side of things, u are single and a free spirit!
why do u try to contact him even though he always made u "extremely unhappy" and worst of all wont reply? dont u know u deserve someone better? | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 5/26/2006 6:52:59 PM | | Ok here goes. Why? Because with an a-hole you don't have to live up to any expectations. It is easy to be with an a-hole. You can lose and still win with him. | |
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lorie1
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Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 54 | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:01:26 AM | men are NOT ***holes!!..
It makes me laugh when women insist going on about how bad some guy treated her!!.. and all of a sudden he is an ***hole....when two months prior..he was probubly the best thing since sliced bread.
Relationships are a two way street..and just because He isnt into her for what ever reason..gives a girl no reason to go all bi polar!!
Ok..so he has hurt you..You are not the first person to ever be hurt and hun...you certainly wont be the last..
Keep true to yourself...hold on to your dignity, keep your head held high..and MOVE ON!! | |
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lorie1
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Joined: 5/23/2006
Msg: 56 | |
| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:07:37 AM | | brother, Thorn are you misinformed.Women who date bumholes are still feeling the vacuum of not getting love or validation from the bumholes that their dads were.Its an unconcious challenge for their ego/selves to correct their past, and scince only a bum can change himself-its a pointless endeavor,and one just can't change the past.Its part of the human condition-pshychologically speaking. Your ideas of genetics are truley bizarre....these women who have babies by such men,uh, 'scuse,-males, will pass tis unconcious malady into the sons and daughters, more emotional unhappiness, and abuse.Now Knock of whatever med. your on that causes you to write such dreadful garbage! | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:20:48 AM | | The moment you find someone who is better and who desires you, and is taking up your time, you will not need the ex anymore. You will have a bigger better deal ! | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:09:17 PM | | I think you just go thru a stage in your life when different kinds of guys attract you. I used to love ***holeS.....wanted to be the ONE that they were nicest to....think it was the challenge more than anything. Now, I love guys who are a little more thoughtful & considerate. There's something to be said for the nice guys out there. JMPO. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:58:35 PM | all women on some subconcious level like ***holes. it's the same as how all women on some subconcious level are lesbians. neither of those may be full fledged or apparent, but it's there nonetheless.
like in dazed and confused when the senior guy talks to the long haired freshmand kid at the emporium where they are hanging out.
he says " hey man. that julie chick...she loves you. but you can't let her know or else she'll dump you like that. if she asks to hang out, say 'no, i got something to do, but maybe i'll see you later' sounds stupid doesn't it, trust me it works"
girls never go for the dork who would give the girl anything and is always there talking about her feelings when an ***hole dumps her. they say" i like you as a friend"
i wouldn't understand it totally, i'm no girl, but it's true and it's there | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:05:35 PM | Sometimes they seem like nice guys until they get you. They build you up, listen to your thoughts and dreams and fears and then use them to appear to be "the one " you dreamed of...
Then when you are hooked they slowly, subtlely begin to destroy your self confidence in much the way they first seduced you....at first you think, they are so caring that they couldn't possibly have meant to hurt you or lie to you or...
as a caring and loving partner you then overlook and make excuses for their bad behaviors and lies saying to yourself that nobody is perfect and it must have been a fluke or a mistake or a misunderstanding...
over time you give away your sense of self and replace it with their distorted reality where you need their approval to feel good about yourself because you are now so down on yourself and so unsure of trusting of your own experience.
The farther it goes, the crazier and more dependant you feel...
soon there is little of your former self left...
so you pursue the thief of your "self" because you are left without a sense of competence, lovableness and self-confidence.
It is hard to get past.
I would suggest that you write down everything bad or hurful about your relationship and that person and when you feel the urge to call because the "love and Care" you thought he gave you is stronger in your memory...
reread your list of the hurt and the harm and remind yourself that he is not the loving illusion you wish for...
the real him is the hurtful one....
Even if he is not a terrible person and the embodiment of evil...
If you feel that he harms you, then he needs to get his care and compassion on someone elses shoulder...
for you to continue makes you then your own victimizer and that feels worse than being victimized by someone else. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:25:38 PM | Hi Anita,
your question caught my eye, when you said you felt like running to the nearest phone "and dialing him up". I know your only 20 years old, but do you actually remember the old dial up phones. Im 41, and we got rid of our dial phones when I was 16, however maybe that term came back because of the "dial up connection" the internet providers use.
I take it you have dial up instead of high speed, that its the only way I can justify to myself for your choice of words.
also the catch phrase you used caught my attention.
why do I (+ most women) love ***holes?? I would have worded it this way.
why do most woman love men that are ***holes?? the way you wrote it, it makes you sound like you like ***holes.
anyways good luck. There is a book out called "why men love ****es", you should read that, then you will get the guys. | |
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vivid
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 62 | |
| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:41:56 PM | why do I (+ most women) love ***holes??
Maybe there are too many cashier's in the world? ...just kidding, but honestly, I think you need to switch to the big-bad-businessman type of bad-boy....you could have the wealth,
intellect and confidence of a bad-boy without the man-childishness you get
from a mere uneducated "***hole".
Seek and ye shall find. There's different kinds of assholes out there but what
waits a cashier?....the bottom of the barrel assholes. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/12/2006 11:02:02 PM | Because you've got unresolved issues with a parental figure.
No, seriously. People often hang out with and marry those who have the same negative qualities as their father or mother. | |
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vivid
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 64 | |
| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/12/2006 11:13:40 PM | ^^^ i agree. You marry your father in a sense. When I see women being disrespected
in public by their man, I see a 'little girl' hoping to eventually earn her
fathers love. Awwwww
Basic psychology. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/12/2006 11:33:00 PM | I can't deal with ***holes, much like I can't deal with the proverbial nice guy. I refuse to put up with being treated like crap as much as I refuse to put up with someone who caters to my every whim.
I have no respect for either of those types of people. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/13/2006 2:25:24 AM |
I refuse to put up with being treated like crap
this is my watchord, too.
no matter how great you think the ***hole is, don't ever let a man walk all over you! give it time... you'll get over your ex. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/13/2006 3:05:52 AM | I'd like to point out that this can happen to either gender - I've seen it go both ways.
I think we fall for the a$$holes because they are very practiced at being the most charming, caring and attentive in the begining. They can make us feel like they're the best thing that's ever happened to us. It's only after they know you've invested your whole heart into the relationship that they decide to take a big bite out of it! Then they continue to chew it up and spit it out.
If we had only known that the charm is a facade for the outside world. Caring turns out to mean controlling and attentive is simply obsession...
We do have to look at our own responsibility in it though. If we continue to stay or keep going back, we are condoning the behaviour and sending the message that it's okay to treat us like crap because we're still there to take it.
So, to all those who are still in these relationships; Put your foot down! If that doesn't change things, put the other down and continue to repeat this action untill you are gone!
Maybe if no one ever put up with their nonsense, they'd have to change or live a very lonely life - that choice would be theirs | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:34:31 AM |
Sometimes they seem like nice guys until they get you. They build you up, listen to your thoughts and dreams and fears and then use them to appear to be "the one " you dreamed of...
Then when you are hooked they slowly, subtlely begin to destroy your self confidence in much the way they first seduced you....at first you think, they are so caring that they couldn't possibly have meant to hurt you or lie to you or...
as a caring and loving partner you then overlook and make excuses for their bad behaviors and lies saying to yourself that nobody is perfect and it must have been a fluke or a mistake or a misunderstanding...
I think this is very true in some situations. I got mixed up with an ***hole like this and it was only because he pretended to be something he wasn't for the first few months. Then I longed for the way he used to be and thought maybe I was doing something wrong to cause the change. Boy am I glad I got out of that relationship. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:44:10 AM | | It seems like you are still hung up on your ex. Until you move on and accept that it is over, starting a new realtionship, or even having a good date, is going to be very difficult. Right now you are comparing everyone to the ex. Move on. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:49:34 AM | Well generally I would say women like ***holes, cause when the species survival was determined by size, strength, and aggressiveness, the women were attracted to the dominant mail. Too often today that is still the case, the life of the party being the one that gets out in public more, uses drugs, and as such is on a high, and funny, and big, and often relies on big, not intellect when something challenges them. This often means a guy that wont stay, or come home, hits if you dare argue with them, and is often in trouble with the law, or has trouble holding a job. However I must say in your case you stated nothing to make me think the guy is an ***hole, you described a person in yourself that is suffering from low self esteem, and unable to move on. He has moved on, and you wont accept it. I think your question is why are you tourturing yourself, if you got him back would he be worth it. He doesnt love you, wouldnt you be better off being available in case someone comes along capable of loving you? I have found it to be the case you have to love yourself, before someone else can love you. As is I think you will find alot of perceived ***holes, that maybe really nice guys, but not attracted to you as long as you are needy. Counseling may be in order. Like you said , your own friends are losing respect for you, and you have lost respect for yourself. I wish you well.  | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:54:45 AM | | I too am infatuated with a jerk. I will cry & cry over this man but you know what I will NEVER let him know this... We have been apart for about 3 months now but I still think about him non stop. If I go to a bar and see his car I will leave and go somewhere else. If I am at our normal hang out first and he walks in I will put on a brave face and act like I am having the time of my life... You know what.... He calls ME now... It is only a few times a week just to say Hi, but the roles have reversed since I did not call and harass him... The relationship is not where I want it to be but I know that he is still thinking about me and maybe one day I will have him back but this time under my terms.... Be positive | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/13/2006 7:58:18 AM | "I am a loser for harassing and loving an ***hole,"
You already answered your question, no reason for the thread at all. I can't even relate to the subject line, as no way I would deal with one. I know I deserve better, and sure wouldn't settle for less. Desperation sure make people do some strange things. | |
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kyleW
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Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 74 | |
| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 7/13/2006 9:39:16 AM | | I'm not an ***hole, but my ***hole is. And if you live my ***hole then I'm thinking you'll love me. I'm too attached to my ***hole to give it away. Now that we're in love, you should buy my ***hole presents. He likes steaks. | |
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