| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 11:49:35 AM | | i can relate i am a 41 yr old man and i adore my wife but that ***hole wont pick up the phone either,we split 1 month ago its hard to move on isnt it | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 12:02:12 PM | HARRASSMENT = TRUE LOVE? Puh-leeze
Maybe there aren't so many azzholes in this world as there are women who push and push and push and push until they get the attention they want- read any stupid romance novel and MOST will equate azzhole attention with evidence of love. OOO he just called me an idiot, he loves me!
Rethink love.
Until women stop being so insecure that they need *proof* of love and until they wise up and see that behavior is *not* proof of love, I don't see this changing.
The absolute unwillingness to stoop to that behavior regardless of how often pushed, is the evidence of love. MEN STOP LOVING a woman when they are pushed into being azzholes.
Men can be *all* men just as much as any woman can be *all* women. A man behaving like an azzhole under duress is no more an *azzhole* as defining his whole character than a woman can be defined as a 24/7 beach just because she's PMSsy.
Point the finger, at you, at *most* women, at all men who are supposedly *azzholes*, and yet the asking of this question hardly makes the world a better place.
Gini | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 12:15:54 PM |
Here's what keeps MY relationship level:
My man must know who he is and then gently, but very firmly be able to lead.That's your job!
I can't bear to be yelled at nor will I tolerate being treated badly... I will turn and leave or bite your ass then leave ,but a man who speaks softly, no matter what he is saying to me, will always hold my attention. I may not obey!! (smile) But I will listen! A man with quiet authority is a rare man indeed. This is someone who is confident in himself and has no need to bully, threaten, or "treat a woman like garbage" The anti-***hole so to speak!
So I said, if a guy is an a.sshole or not, it doesn't matter because the woman makes it all about herself anyway, and the first thing you do to respond is to talk about "MY relationship level"?
So I point out women's narcissistic behavior, to explain why men who don't treat them well all the time are so appealing to many of them, and the you feel the best way to counter my opinion is to start talking about yourself?
Keep watching guys. Never mind what they say or type, watch what they are doing. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 12:38:02 PM | | Let's think about this. 99% of the replies accepted the situation as described, ie you're the good person, the guy was the bad person, and here's some sympathy for you. Well, this didn't happen in a vacuum. It is at least possible that you are less than perfect, and whatever shortcomings you have contributed to the problem. So, the best long term situation would include finding out what you did wrong and fixing it, so it doesn't return to trouble you again. You probably can't fix him, but you have some chance of fixing yourself, if you put forth the effort. So use the time between steady guys for self improvement. Lose a few pounds, take some courses, overhaul your wardrobe, learn to dance, take a course in formal etiquette, find some new and different places to go, maybe even go to church and get into the Bible, it couldn't hurt. And by keeping busy it will take your mind off the past. So, your choice; do nothing different, just wallow in the past, or take charge, make positive changes and move on. Which looks best? | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 12:43:27 PM | Gecko your kinda cute! *Poof* you will smile!
A woman who possesses a healthy self esteem will not abide a man who abuses her mentally or physically! A man that believes the way to maintain a relationship with a woman is to treat her like garbage needs to go back and reread the MAN BOOK
Here this might help some to understand what We woman people desire in our MEN!
He is strong yet gentle.
Honest yet tactful.
Masculine yet emotional.
Decisive yet flexible.
Goal oriented yet spontaneous.
Driven yet giving.
Dominant yet thoughtful.
And gives her wild screaming orgasms.Yeehaw!
That about sizes up the big list and this is the kind of man women can only dream about. *sigh*
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 1:13:16 PM | He is strong yet gentle.
Honest yet tactful.
Masculine yet emotional.
Decisive yet flexible.
Goal oriented yet spontaneous.
Driven yet giving.
Dominant yet thoughtful.
And gives her wild screaming orgasms.Yeehaw!
he does/is all that.
But he has crazy exes making his life miserable.
Lives with his mother
Will never see his son
Prefers a nonrelationship because he doesn't trust thanks to the women before
Wants to build a house directly across the street, for conveniece
Workaholic with insane schedule
Has too many toys to ever give one up
Likes all things Disney a little *too* much
Gini | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 1:17:28 PM | Without assh*les we'd all be full of shit. Either that or all of us would have really bad breath.
OP--It's not the assh*le you are missing. It's the companionship, and the idea of what you thought he could give you (which he didn't, did he?) that you miss.
Every time you have the urge to call him, you aren't really wanting to talk to him. You want to connect with the past more than him--even if that connection is pain.
I mean this in the nicest way: it doesn't matter whether he was an assh*le. You're being an idiot by not recognizing what those urges to call him mean--and by not knowing that you, on some level, want him to be an a-hole . . . just so that you can feel some connection with the past. Feeling pain is better than not feeling anything at all, isn't it? It beats apathy. Your mind know this. So it seeks it out, if you aren't going to do anything constructive to help yourself heal from this.
I bet it's only in the evening when you call him, isn't it--when you're bored and feeling apathetic, wondering what to do with yourself? Hell, everyone's been through this. And then you call him because feeling like shit is better than being bored and apathetic. Ick. I'm glad I'm not that young anymore. It's a pain in the ass being young and not knowing that life moves on no matter how you feel. So f*ck how you feel, pretend you feel great, and keep yourself busy--especially in the evening. Eventually, everything actually will be okay.
Sometimes a $100 man-whore is just what a woman needs . . .  | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 1:37:46 PM | | Speak for yourself...this girl doesn't go for ***holes at all. I like nice, sweet, sincere men myself. A little bit of sarcasm is ok...keeps me on my toes, but assholes....NOT. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 1:51:10 PM |
I totally agree there dude...Im the nicest guy around. ***holes, stalkers, and murderers give me a bad name. Youve seen how ***holes are ladies. Jerks dont give a shit about anybody but themselves. Ive got a good sense of humour, im a sweetheart, and im good looking but that doesnt help any because woman wont go for that. They want guys who will take advantage of them. To me, that doesnt make any sense..Give me a chance..
The problem is, possibly you need to get out more because there are so many different unique types of people around that are just waiting to meet you. Here's the score: jerks generally seem to have confidence and are interesting to girls. Typical 'nice guys' are always looking for approval of others, and are generally considered 'boring' as they don't have 10 million drinking stories and several STDs, like these 'quality women' do lol
While I don't support being abusive or anything, try treating a girl like a bratty sister (don't always give her what she wants, make her work for your affections) and you'll see how she'll be all over you in no time. This is just personal experience and works only on women with low self-esteem and morals (unfortunately, about 93% from what i can tell).
my 0.02 | |
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MarkCK
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Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 187 | |
| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 1:52:35 PM | haha @ loverboy. your profile reads 'Look into my eyes..can you resist me?'
sorry, but women won't want someone with your attitude. they like fun, confident, outgoing guys, that's just stupid if you ask me.
this post isn't about you | |
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MarkCK
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Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 188 | |
| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 1:55:19 PM | I think that everyone wants someone independant and strong, sounds like your guy was a bit too much of both of those, and its left you wanting more (wanting what you can't have).
Ditch that zero and get your-self a hero!!
Just kidding. Seriously though relax, don't worry about relationships, and you'll find yourself in a comfortable one soon as you stop thinking about them so much.
Leave your ex behind, don't overlook him being an ***hole, you broke up with him for some good reasons.
You sound like a nice person but don't latch on to everything you can't have just because you can't have it, anyone who crosses you or screws you over isn't worth your energy. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 2:54:10 PM |
A woman who possesses a healthy self esteem will not abide a man who abuses her mentally or physically! A man that believes the way to maintain a relationship with a woman is to treat her like garbage needs to go back and reread the MAN BOOK
Here this might help some to understand what We woman people desire in our MEN!
He is strong yet gentle.
Honest yet tactful.
Masculine yet emotional.
Decisive yet flexible.
Goal oriented yet spontaneous.
Driven yet giving.
Dominant yet thoughtful.
And gives her wild screaming orgasms.Yeehaw!
I never said to treat women badly all the time, I said half the time. Just enough where someone doesn't take you for granted.
A woman who truly has "healthy self esteem" doesn't exist. Well, maybe you can find one hanging around a couple of unicorns and Hogwarts castle.
And looking at your list, where you ideally want EVERYTHING, but you expect a man to read your mind to figure out which of your contradictions are turned on or off on any given day, means you might want to crack open the REALITY book.
But if you think guys are going to believe you, go ahead and let them answer this question for you -
Guys, all the things that women, society and the mainstream media says that women want and you tried to give them those things, did you ever find that they behaved in any way consistent to what they said they wanted?
And after they answer that, don't be surprised if they don't listen to a word you are saying. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 3:06:52 PM | | I know how you feel. But run as as far and fast as you can away from him before you are attached for ever. I spent 10 years and 3 kids later with an a**hole and now we are apart. I still love him and the worst part is that I cant just forget cause I have to see him all the time. And they will rub it in your face and use you as much as possible cause they know how you feel. A hard as it is to find there has to be nice guys out there some where. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 3:30:28 PM | never said to treat women badly all the time, I said half the time. Just enough where someone doesn't take you for granted.
Half the time huh? Ha! you either abuse or you don't
A woman who truly has "healthy self esteem" doesn't exist. Well, maybe you can find one hanging around a couple of unicorns and Hogwarts castle.
Me thinks your afraid of strong women and unicorns
And looking at your list, where you ideally want EVERYTHING, but you expect a man to read your mind to figure out which of your contradictions are turned on or off on any given day, means you might want to crack open the REALITY book.
I don't want it all... just wanna little bit...don't suppose you remember that song!
But if you think guys are going to believe you, go ahead and let them answer this question for you -
Umm... not really trying to get anybody to believe anything just posting my opinions that's allowed right Mr.Man??
Guys, all the things that women, society and the mainstream media says that women want and you tried to give them those things, did you ever find that they behaved in any way consistent to what they said they wanted?
opps.. your lumping All those damn women together again shame shame shame cutie face
And after they answer that, don't be surprised if they don't listen to a word you are saying.
see this face does it look like I would get my thong spronged if someone didn't listen to me?
P.S. I think I am falling for you! | |
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MarkCK
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Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 192 | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 5:12:43 PM |
Here this might help some to understand what We woman people desire in our MEN!
He is strong yet gentle.
Honest yet tactful.
Masculine yet emotional.
Decisive yet flexible.
Goal oriented yet spontaneous.
Driven yet giving.
Dominant yet thoughtful.
And gives her wild screaming orgasms.Yeehaw!
Give me a minute so I can make some notes...  | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 6:18:51 PM |
He is strong yet gentle.
Honest yet tactful.
Masculine yet emotional.
Decisive yet flexible.
Goal oriented yet spontaneous.
Driven yet giving.
Dominant yet thoughtful.
Why on earth does that sound to me like it could be summed up as:
He's got unmedicated Bipolar Disorder... ?? | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 6:19:04 PM | My response to all the evolution-quoting is that, by your criteria, then men must be just as crippled as women by their coarse nature, if not more so. If you believe women can no more overcome their own biological urges to procure good DNA for her offspring as the main justification for the whole "nice guy versus a$$hole" debate, then you must also conclude that men "can't help" their urge to fertilize every youthful, healthy woman of child bearing age.
Sound ridiculous? It is. Can men overcome their urge to impregnate every women? Of course. We are rational, sentient beings, for the most part.
As far as viewing love and attraction as some sort of game where people gamble their odds of attracting a mate against their age and desirability - thereby sometimes "overplaying" their hand -- that is a completely opposite point of view from the whole "women's chicken hawk nature" that supposedly rules us. "They can't help it," right?
So which is it? Are women coldly calculating our marketable worth against the available men's paychecks or blindly following our natual biological urge to make the strongest babies? You can't have it both ways. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 6:24:45 PM |
which is it? Are women coldly calculating our marketable worth against the available men's paychecks or blindly following our natual biological urge to make the strongest babies? You can't have it both ways.
You're saying there's no rich handsome jerks? News to me. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 6:44:11 PM | No, of course there are. And of vcourse some people go for that. I was replying to an assertion earlier that women choose jerks because we can't help it.
Edit: to Ratero Park Man, below: Please see messages 135-148, where it is argued (variously) that women can't help their animal nature AND women coldly gamble with their looks to get a strong man who can support them and their offspring. VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 6:47:25 PM |
My response to all the evolution-quoting is that, by your criteria, then men must be just as crippled as women by their coarse nature, if not more so. If you believe women can no more overcome their own biological urges to procure good DNA for her offspring as the main justification for the whole "nice guy versus a$$hole" debate, then you must also conclude that men "can't help" their urge to fertilize every youthful, healthy woman of child bearing age.
Sound ridiculous?it is.
Yes , anything with an evolutionary theme to it is ridiculous, including natural selection (atleast as it relates to humans)
Can men overcome their urge to impregnate every women? Of course. We are rational, sentient beings, for the most part.
As far as viewing love and attraction as some sort of game where people gamble their odds of attracting a mate against their age and desirability - thereby sometimes "overplaying" their hand -- that is a completely opposite point of view from the whole "women's chicken hawk nature" that supposedly rules us. "They can't help it," right?
So which is it? Are women coldly calculating our marketable worth against the available men's paychecks or blindly following our natual biological urge to make the strongest babies? You can't have it both ways.
it's good to hear you are talking some reason. These forums can use more of that lol.
Fact is we humans are intelligent sentient beings and we have reason and logic and rational and a conscience, so using any evolutionary excuse is ridiculous and a silly reasoning. I can't understand how some people (that hold to this view of evulotion/natural selection etc)people deliberately degrade themselves and humanity to an animal when infact we are different and WAY more advanced in reason/logic/rational/conscience etc.
However with your last point
Are women coldly calculating our marketable worth against the available men's paychecks or blindly following our natual biological urge to make the strongest babies? You can't have it both ways
Not too sure what you mean by that and what your intenmt on that is? I would assume it's neither?!?! ...again I don't know lol. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 6:56:58 PM | | That's an age old question - lets flip it and see what type of response we get - why do men love ****es (i read the book and thought it was hilarious) | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 7:43:11 PM | Hmmm ~ contrary to a few select negative opinions, there are those of us who simply don't have the masochistic gene. I don't mind a bad boy (actually rather fond of them) but that doesn't mean he's bad to me. If I want to be treated badly I'll go out for the night with my crazy girlfriends, have entirely too much to drink and let one of them tell me about her love-life, that is all the abuse I can take.  | |
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