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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/3/2006 8:02:02 PM |
If you believe women can no more overcome their own biological urges to procure good DNA for her offspring as the main justification for the whole "nice guy versus a$$hole" debate, then you must also conclude that men "can't help" their urge to fertilize every youthful, healthy woman of child bearing age.
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...You can't have it both ways.
Please carefully read the studies I provided. They explain far better than I can.
First, men that did not have biological urges or did not act upon their urges to procreate are not our ancestors.
Second, contrary to your statement, it is NOT an 'either or'. As the article stated, since few men have both qualities, some women 'square the circle'; that is, when they are ovulating they seek to copulate with symmetrical men to have children with better genes and they seek mates that are good providers. In other words, they choose to have both. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 10/2/2006 9:29:56 AM | | Awesome awesome posts on this one! Everything that Oslo has said is very true and some of the others as well! It sounds like some of the guys have read some of David DeAngelo's materials when it comes to women and dating which is really great! I will add that we have to remember that attraction isn't a choice with women. The lady here who is having the problems with the ***hole really can't help her attraction for the ***hole. The poster who talked about why people don't look for folks at church? Very simply because most women at church usually don't say much if anything. lol Oslo is right as men we have to be good at displaying sexual communication with women but how can we do this at church? How can you display sexual commnication with christian women when pre martial sex is so frowned upon by churches? Display and get kicked out of every church or what? lolSo what happens is you have large groups of single men and women who get together and very few of them date. If they do date the women usually have most of the power (meaning they are the leader i.e. take on the guys job in relationships ironically in those types of relationships women are not going to be as happy because women are the higher social status and their need for challenge, mystery, adventure isn't being met) | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 10/3/2006 9:06:02 AM | | hold on a min...........you hate feeling rejected and yet you repeatedly told him you should be apart and he made you feel unhappy.............do you not think he felt rejected everytime you said that............or is it only womens feelings that count............then he is supposed to be you indefinite plan b..........everytime a date falls through .......come on would you put up with those mixed messages,,,,,,,,,,,,go but dont leave....his confused..............totally one hundered percent and now he thinks sod this im going to get on with my life and your feeling the pinch...................you know why you cant move on........you still love him............he doesnt know that.....................TELL HIM what have you got to lose.....if he comes back then its not too late to start all over again...maybe he was a git but a git you still love and still pine for and cant move on from for now...........that might change in the future but in this moment its as real as it gets..........if you be honest with him he may very well realise that however much of a pain in the ass you can be your worth fighting for.......if however you continue to send him mixed messages and mess with his head........well never .men have a great survival instinct...........he thinks you think its for the best and he cant deal with the calls when its over for you...............correct him.if not stick by your decission and leave the guy alone.............the worst that can happen is his moved on but lf thats fully the case learn from it...................men run on encouragement and if a women is not happy in a relationship or keeps telling him they shouldnt be together........they go like deflated ballons and eventually except faliure and defeat...game over. takes two to make a relationship work and two to break it up.two sides here. | |
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| HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 10/3/2006 9:56:47 AM | Here it's in your face and NOT SUGARCOATED! GET OVER IT!!! GET A LIFE! I have been there and done that and your problem is this YOU'RE INSERCURE like so many of us are. We get to that point in our life to were we believe that "Is this as good as it going to get" and then we find ourself in a relationship which we damn know it's a unhealthy one and then we try to find excuses to make it work or make excuses for our partners. Listen to this honey in order to be successful in life first love YOURSELF and then you'll see how love will response back, but always remember this MISERY LOVES MISERY! You're a beauitful woman so get over it you don't need a man that is a ***hole in your life and if this is weighing you down then deal with it and stop crying over it or do something about it. Your only crime is this you fell in love with a man and in return he did not appreciate you so now take your love and save it for someone that deserve it. THERE NO MAN OR WOMAN ON THIS FORSAKEN EARTH THAT IS WORTH TAKING YOUR DIGNITY AWAY!!!!!!!!!! At one time I was in love with a ***hole and he left me for another woman and I truly believe that I wanted to died and I stay alone why he move on without a care in the world and I after two years I found the love of my life and now am so happy. This is a heartache that taught me how to be a stronger and wiser woman and now my love that I offer to my man I know he truly loves me back. SO THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM SO GET OVER IT!!!!!! | |
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| HONEY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 10/3/2006 6:22:04 PM | OP
Lady, you never told us why you consider your X an ***hole.
And what is a nice guy?
I hear a lot of men refer to themselves as the nice guy, or
say they are one of the few nices ones left, only to
find out they were just mere words. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 10/3/2006 10:29:35 PM | Oh Anita I went ( still at the tail end of It ) through the same sort of senario - eventually I worked out that this man was my emotional crutch, nothing more. Sounds Odd I know - but I also dated TONS of men, no one I found compared remotely to him connection wise, looks wise, a ton of personality ect ect. So each time after another disasterous date Id head home In a total fit of OMG I need HIM and email him ect .. like a loony haha. Yes he replied at times but It was just a tail chase nothing ever got off the ground again EVER. We would be In communication for a bit, once he even showed up, but end of day .. NOTHING. As I was just chasing a delusion and boosting his ego .. so he wouldve strung It along
But eventually I realised he was just a crutch to me, as long as I hanged onto him In some way It didnt matter that no man I was meeting was compatible In any real sense, I had the delusion hed be back eventually. It was a hard night and week when I realised this - I tested my theorys - I was right and I accepted It. Unfortunately I must attend these bad dates ect untill I do find My Mr Right.. as that man was never It. You'll probably find the same .. dont Invest the years I did Into It. You may have missed the real one In the meantime while your chasing Mr Not so right for you.
Good luck  | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 10/15/2006 10:12:14 PM | To the thread starter I must say concerning that you love ***holes......
To keep this as simple as possible ( because it is quite simple) and with all due respect, you seek and love ***holes just as water seeks its own level. Its that simple my dear.
You think.........therefore you are. | |
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hannab
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Joined: 6/4/2007
Msg: 213 | |
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Stal
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Joined: 12/3/2004
Msg: 214 | |
| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 8/30/2007 11:53:44 PM | Because......you're yet another ***hole lover. So, thanks ever so much for your contribution in making all this world's ***holes succeed even more in being the prolific ***holes they are.
Cheers,
Stal | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 8/31/2007 1:44:35 AM | your doing what women do, going on emotion.
Men just care where there**** go and will exploit any opening to get to your opening.
RTFM
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 8/31/2007 1:54:13 AM | | Many women, especially young ones, "love" an a$$hole, as long as he is theirs! They think that they are more "fun". That is one for a couch! | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 9/8/2007 8:49:39 AM | Easy, because your an idiot who has basicly been raised by television as to what relationships should look like. Your another one of the vast majority of total fat pigs acting as the cancer that is killing our two nations.
But hey, maybe its not you, maybe luck has something against you.
Yeah right.
Take a look at yourself before you start calling these guys ***holes. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 1/1/2008 9:43:17 AM | | i agree most men that i've meet only want one thing sex!!!!!!!!!!! i want to be liked for me not what's between my legs! my seizures scare most men off, i have epelepsy not aids guys. and i don't want a ... hole i want a good man. good luck finding a good guy or woman ......vickie needagoodman | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:24:16 PM | The ***holes are the confident ones, the life of the party. If the nice guys wouldn't act so wimpy, then maybe they wouldn't be overlooked.
I've dated nice guys before. I liked how he treated me with respect, but jeez, he wasn't as outgoing as I wanted him to be. Just wish he would've acted a little naughty sometimes. Needless to say, the relationship didn't last long.
Ended up going for the ***hole. Had the best **** fests with him lol.
Now if only we could mesh the two (***hole and the nice guy) and wahla,there's the perfect mate. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 1/7/2008 8:48:25 PM | ~ N A F T ~
. . No Accounting For Taste . . !
You get what you Pay for . . ??
You just can't make S O M E people Happy, these days . . !!!
***
I can ba Naughty, [even Kinky]Too . .
I'm just Nice about it . . !! . . | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:06:26 PM | If we love ***holes, it may be because that's what we feel we deserve! Take your power back! Every time you try to make contact, you give that power away to him. He's walking around with it and he doesn't even care - and you're walking around with none, feeling so crappy, because you've given it to him.
The ONLY way you're going to get it back is NO contact of any sort. Slowly, you will start to feel stronger for every time you do not contact him. Don't talk about him. That means that you are giving him space in your head that he doesn't deserve. Slowly but surely, each day, do something that will keep you going in the opposite direction of anything that has to do with him. Allow yourself to feel the strength of your power coming back to you, where it belongs. Give yourself kudos for every time you do something that makes you feel good. If you continue to dwell on him, he will continue to own your power, and as long as he does - you'll be miserable. | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:44:01 PM | You need to get rid of his number, email... ANYTHING that will put you in contact with him.
Once you separate yourself from him completely, you will begin to heal. NO MORE CALLING! You must act as if he doesn't exist. It's hard to do this, I know. But it's for your own good.
As for the guys not being interested? Well, you should see yourself.... I can tell that you're feeling very insecure. It is ALL OVER this original posting of yours.
Forget about men. Just learn to love yourself again. :) Once you do that, the men will be VERY attracted to you. It works.
And if you don't feel attractive one day, just pretend you are the most beautiful, sexy woman on earth. :) Put on a different persona and you will FEEL better and start to think more positively..... and who knows? Maybe you'll actually become her.
But if you sit there and go on and on about this ex of yours... nothing will ever change and you will stay miserable.
I wish you all the best of luck. You'll get through this stage! I did. ;) | |
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| why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 1/12/2008 8:57:24 PM | While the women on here bring up a good point about the lack of self esteem on thier part for staying with a**holes they overlook one major part. The intical attraction. I have a theory I refer to it as the peac*ck theory. You'll understand in a minute.
Males have to be good salesmen to attract women. Because we are the persuers. We have to convince the women we are worth a shot to get to know. I believe that women often like men mistake arrogence for confidence and are amazed with them. Its not hard there are alot of men that are too and they try to emulate the them. And guess what it works. Male peac*cks use thier flashy feathers to attract female peac*cks. Same holds true with the human males. We have to stand out. Often "nice guys" are submissive and don't stand out. They may be confident and secure they just don't feel they need to advertise it. And as such they get overlooked.
But who knows thats my opinion I could be wrong.  | |
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