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Posted: 10/3/2008 6:03:48 PM | | For me, it's kind of hard to understand the idea of being afraid to or feeling inhibited about doing things on your own. Okay, on Friday or Saturday night, I don't go out to dinner or bars or a film by myself, but on any other night I would and have. I travel alone all the time. I prefer to be on my own doing something than to be with others just to have the company. In 2004 I spent the summer backpacking around Great Britain for five weeks. I stayed in B & B's. Often the B & B would be run by a single woman, usually middle aged. Many times they told me how they envied what I was doing and wished they could do it too. I don't see why they couldn't, you just do it, if it is what you want. Sure, I have some barriers. I don't do anything I think would be unsafe. And I don't attempt traveling in a place where I don't think I'd be able to cope well on my own, but the more experienced I get at it, the more I realize I can cope with. But I never feel I should stay home because I don't have a companion... | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 10:14:43 AM | congratulations cheryl. welcome to the rest of your life. finding the freedom to do things alone is the first step to happily doing things with a parnter later. enjoy the fishing in the stream and good luck with your fishing in the pond! | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 10:47:37 AM | | Cheryl 2006 You will have a blast! I've traveled solo for a few years now (starting in 2004). I go to shows, dinner, etc. alone and only one time did I have some "difficulty". I went to Branson, Mo. to see a dinner show called the Magnificiant 7, at the "White House". In the dinner section of the theater, they sat me all alone, with no one in any of the surrounding tables! I felt like I was on display, had no one to talk to and actually had people leaning over their dinner partners to look at me (men and women). My food was rushed and I was finished my dessert a good 5 minutes when the waiters came out making a big ta-do about their NEW dessert! Other than that one experience, I've had a great time no matter where I went alone, including Sweden and Israel! Of course, it would have been nice to have had someone to share it with but, what the heck, I still had a great time!! | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 11:06:11 AM | Hey Ron9
I love boating and biking alot and I know it's not too much to say about riding a bike alone but I take my boat out all the time alone. Oh yeah, I get looks now and then but have also met some great people out there. Even had one boat full of people dump a girl off on me! It didn't really go anywhere but was a once in a lifetime experience anyway. Sometimes I cruise around and sometimes I just take a cooler of beer and something to read and sit on the beach and watch the other boaters. I still have a real good time just being out there getting some sun and watching the bikinis go by. Just take the damned boat out and wave at everyone that goes by and you'll have a good time...promise. | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 12:15:14 PM | | I made a distinct decison about a year ago to start going to events alone that interest me. I have really enjoyed those events (concerts, seminars, festivals etc.), met some cool people at the events and have even met some guys online who happend to have attended those same events - it gave us a topic for conversation when meeting. So, go for it ladies! It is enjoyable, alone or not. | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 12:29:07 PM | Good for you Cheryl.
You made me give to pause to think about all the trips I have been on and all the travels. It made me realize that some of my trips, with loved ones or friends, have been the loneliest I have ever had.
Now, when I go I don't stop to think, jeez is there someone I can take with me? I just go. I went to the gun range the other day and ran into a friend of a friend. He was asking me if I was there by myself. I said yes, aren't you. His reply was kind of well that is different.
I think as females we are taught to travel in pairs. What I decided is that every moment of my life I am not alone, I have me. And I can't think of anybody better to fly right seat with than that.
Have a great time. | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 12:51:48 PM | | It doesn't bother me to go to dinner alone or a museum, but one thing that bugs me is when the hostess says, "Just one?" as if there's something wrong with that. I went to a movie alone once and felt a bit self conscious at first, but then forgot all about it. The thing is, I'd rather have a companion to do things with, but if I want something bad enough, I will do it alone. | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 12:52:53 PM | For me, it's kind of hard to understand the idea of being afraid to or feeling inhibited about doing things on your own.
I've gotten used to doing things on my own. I can remember when I was first single I couldn't imagine how to do life without a partner. Everything that I believed defined my life had another person by my side with me. I fought it, bemoaned it, weeped over it, and railed against it.
Eventually it got easier and I began to realize the benefits. Never having to answer to someone, being able to up and go/leave whenever you liked, cooking pancakes for dinner if you wanted to, reading all day long without someone getting mad at you, or simply being silent and not having to say a word.
It would be nice to find a happy medium, but in the interim I no longer feel like being absent a partner means being absent a life. I will go where I want, when I want, and however much I want; and that folks is liberating.  | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 2:37:17 PM | Undoubtedly accepted more for guys to strike out alone...but why?? For myself I have really admired the odd solo woman I have run across in the mountains...but maybe its not just a socially imposed thing on woman perhaps also biological in our human evolution? Do you see guys going to the toilet (john/ bathroom for you north Americans)!! together??
I regularly go alone to music events, the pub, walks, have done many multi day trip solo in the mountains, kayaked alone and traveled overseas. However I also really enjoyed a longer term relationship with a fellow outdoor enthusiast (& took a while to get over the end of that). My preference would be for the sharing that comes from mutuality of doing something both feel enthusiasm for. Someone to rehash the experience with later. However I wouldn't have met the locals I met on my journey around Northern Canada/Alaska in 1998. But aside from brief 2 or 3 sentences since there is little relating to those at home about the adventure!! | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 4:23:19 PM | Camping??
Hang on Cheryl...I'm coming with you!!!
Just give me a minute to pack.
Hmmm...
-blowdryer
-hair iron
-blender for margaritas
-margarita glasses
-portable t.v.
-portable stereo
-assorted cd's
-duvet quilt
-blow up mattress
-suitcase with wheels
-microwave
-silk pajamas
-mosquito net
-bear spray
Okay..I'm READY
Let's GO | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 4:45:10 PM |
Camping?? Hang on Cheryl...I'm coming with you!!! Just give me a minute to pack. Hmmm... -blowdryer -hair iron -blender for margaritas -margarita glasses -portable t.v. -portable stereo -assorted cd's -duvet quilt -blow up mattress -suitcase with wheels -microwave -silk pajamas -mosquito net -bear spray Okay..I'm READY Let's GO
You'll probably need two cans of bear spray. I hear they're bad this time of year. | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 4:53:15 PM | ^^^^^GOOD IDEA^^^^^^
Thanks David!
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Posted: 10/4/2008 5:07:30 PM | BRAVOOOOOOOOOO Cheryl!! I love nothing better then waking up and making snap decisions to just DO something I want and not worry that I'll be alone. If I can't stand my own company from time to time, who else will?? I remember 2 summers ago taking a trip around Lake Superior on my own. When I hit the highway, I had no idea where I was headed. All I know was I wanted to do a road trip, so off I went. It wasn't until I got into Wisconsin that I phoned my son and told him where I was. After he calmed down, he said "you off adventuring again eh mom?" lol. We both had a good laugh, but I've since promised him I'd give him more notice. Interesting how the shoes are on the other foot now - mom's got to check in   | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 5:27:10 PM | My closest friend moved 800 miles away this past spring, and I was in a "funk" about it all summer.....because I missed the things that we enjoyed doing together.....traveling to PA Dutch country to walk around the outlets and buy sweet corn, going to free lakeside concerts, visiting her mom in Delaware, her sister's art gallery, Penn's Landing inPhilly, or just hanging out drinking Amarula and listening to music.
Now that summer is over, I realized that the "next"summer (or minute, or hour, or day is promised to no one), so it's just plain lunacy on my part not to get out and "go", be it alone or with someone whose company I REALLY enjoy. I'm one of those "strange" people who will not go out with a group of people whose company I don't enjoy just to say I "went out." So the next time something comes up and I have the time and the finances, I'm gonna GO!
And she misses me, too.....because being an "educated" Yankee in a small, rural town in Georgia is not fun.....especially when your husband (an "educated" Southerner) went there to take a job, and all the people under his supervision seem to hate him (and her, by extension). | |
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Posted: 10/4/2008 5:53:18 PM | | I hardly ever go it alone. If my dogs can't go, I usually don't. | |
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