|
|
|
|
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:18:52 PM | Why would you lie to someone just for sex when all you have to do is be truthful,If she's not interested oh well move on. Sometimes in life we are just not ready for a relationship but all humans have sexual needs.Do not waist other poeples time when they could be with someone they love,you could be the reason they missed out on the love of there life cause you lied. | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:38:35 PM | well we do lie most of us, because women do it to? not saying that its right but
sh!t happens, if we said to you hey hun, i dont want a relationship with you because
youre too clingy,oversensitive etc etc you would think were jerks, so if we tell you the
truth you would still think were jerks? cant win for losing. | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:54:07 PM |
well we do lie most of us, because women do it to? not saying that its right but
sh!t happens, if we said to you hey hun, i dont want a relationship with you because
youre too clingy,oversensitive etc etc you would think were jerks, so if we tell you the
truth you would still think were jerks? cant win for losing.
I wish I could find the thread where I discussed this the last time...
Anyone (Male, female or otherwise) who is not straight up with the fact that they are just out to get laid and is implying in any way, shape or form that there might be the potential for a relationship with the other person when all they are really looking for is sex....is a coward, a liar and manipulative.
You say you lie because "women do it too"? What the heck kind of 2nd grade playground reasoning is that? Grow up.
There are women just out looking for hook ups just as there men. Guys, if you can do it and not consider yourself a slut, a sleaze or anything else...then stop labeling the women that do this those things in return. It takes two. Be honest and let HER decide what she wants to do. You just want sex? Make it clear. If she only wants that, she'll make it clear and there will be no crossed signals the next morning. No judgements. Everyone's happy.
You want to lie to someone to get them to sleep with you?
No apologies.
In my eyes, you're a lying coward.
...and if the girl you lied to was my sister, I'd find you and beat the sh!t out of you.
Colin | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 6/15/2006 8:08:09 PM |
In my eyes, you're a lying coward.
...and if the girl you lied to was my sister, I'd find you and beat the sh!t out of you
alrighty then the word according to Colin...
Maybe you should learn how to read before making such threats?
Ive never said I lied to get sex, if you recall mr brokeback mountaineer I said Most of us Lie!!!
You say you lie because "women do it too"? What the heck kind of 2nd grade playground reasoning is that? Grow up.
uh huh!!!!!!!!!!!! not sure about that one? didnt know grade2 people can reason? but maybe in your neck of the woods i suppose?
There are women just out looking for hook ups just as there men. Guys, if you can do it and not consider yourself a slut, a sleaze or anything else...then stop labeling the women that do this those things in return
right, when you ready to live in the real world let us know? | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 6/15/2006 8:16:24 PM |
alrighty then the word according to Colin...
Maybe you should learn how to read before making such threats?
Ive never said I lied to get sex, if you recall mr brokeback mountaineer I said Most of us Lie!!!
The fact that you're 31 years old and resorting to (And failing miserably at) insults tells me all I need to know about you.
Have fun arguing with yourself!
Colin | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 6/15/2006 8:16:26 PM | I am sorry for what happened - not uncommon! I believe men are looking for the perfect woman - like, they are God's gift to women. I have a male friend who was on POF at my house the other night and we were looking through the women's profiles - first of all - I was stunned to find that most of these women were very very attractive - I feel the competition! However, whenever I said, "there's one" he dissed her and found something wrong - like, hello? What makes him think he actually has a choice and I told him that - it enlightened me - they all deserve to be alone - that is including my ex boyfriend!
The sex thing? No kidding! That's what they want and will say anything to get it. Do I sound synical - I am not that kind of person and I am older - 57 - married for 33 years and bewildered. I have had 21-31 year olds interested OR married looking for an affair. Don't think so - I have a son older than them for heavens sake. Are they desperate or what - very discourging. You should try the "local events" thing - it sounds really good and I am going tomorrow night for the first time - no pressure, no date, just having fun. I have had it with relationships.
They are just not honest! | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:39:16 AM | One thing I notice about men on here is you find out right away when they are lying.For one thing they put on their profile that they want a long term relationship and the first thing they want when they first meet you is hop in the sack.If that's what they want why mark long term relationship on their profile?I'm sure if they told the truth they would get plenty of responses because there are lots of women that only want a one night stand just like the men.
Women you may find it shocking but it's true.I heard this from my son and he wasn't bragging about it.He has no reason to brag to his mom about sexual encounters. | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 3:11:29 PM | | Okay I just had to reply to this one. I have many times been very upfront with most men and told them...sorry, not interested in just sex...that I can get anywhere...and to give them credit...most admit that's what they are looking for first. So some do tell the truth if asked directly, as for the others...they'll always be out there..we just have to develop our 'radar' a little better lol | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 3:30:30 PM | | Yeah, sorry. Women don't want the truth, they want to be told what they want to hear and have it called truth. See my profile, it's a perfect bloody example. In my entire life I've met five people who were consistently comfortable with truth no matter how painful and three of them have been male. | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:35:08 PM | Some men tell you they like kids, just to see if they can get you in bed. They don't care if they hurt you or the kids in the process. All they are thinking about is trying to get another notch on the bedpost. Some men are not like that though. Some are just intimidated by you and think they have to tell lies to make you like them more. Some men don't want to hurt your feelings, because believe it or not some women can't handle the truth. I would rather someone tell me to my face what they think so I can go on with my life. I am very honest, even to the point of hurting peoples feelings, but I would rather them know how I feel. I would like the same thing in return. Oh, and by the way I am new on here, so forgive me if I make anyone mad. | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:47:25 PM | SEVEN TIMES...
Betcha miss the toast...butter...and jelly, don't ya. I think men have underlying low self-esteem, that is why they choose to munipulate a woman into the sex arena, because although the shortage is men, half of them are not getting laid. Check his muscles and see which hand he writes with. The sexless ones have a weak arm. | |
|
eman07
|
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 112 | |
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:54:14 PM | | ok....i really love this one......i love how all the women are saying we just "lie" to get what we want (in bed) but let me just say this....there is NO guy that will hang around for any length of time...meaning, if you make a guy "wait"....you wont have any problem. If im with a girl that i kinda like but not really sure, and she decides to sleep with me on lets say the third date, yea i might sleep with her, because i like her, but if i "kinda" like a girl and she makes me wait 2 months, then one of two things will happen. I will WAIT for her, or just move on cause i dont want to be with her. All you women know that we will probably sleep with you on the first date if you offer, so why fall for our lines?.......i dont even use lines, but if im with a girl that i enjoy spending time with and we are mutual and she is offering to at least TRY and pay, then i dont have a problem, stop blaming the men, and stick up for yourself and stop "falling" for our lines | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:14:53 PM | | Just so happens I've had 3 woman from this site do nothing but lie! It's hard to keep up these lies after you meet though. And ladies, alot of men do "lay it out honestly" however not Brutally honest. As men we kinda have a "beat around the bush" mentallity about things. Like anything it depends on the individual person. One girl had us basically getting married after a few months of talking and a weekend of sex. 2 days later she's moving into a home with her boyfriend! lol! I told her if she just wanted sex, all she had to do was ask!! | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:35:32 PM | All men want sex. They may not however all want it right away or in every single context and interaction. Sex is great, but STDs, accidental pregnancies and false rape claims (no offense to anyone, there are real rapes and thats unfortunate, but there are false ones as well) are potential landmines with strangers. Random thoughtless sex is not worth HIV, 18 years of child support or showering with Bubba while in prison.
I think the key is to be direct without being rude. Tell people what they can expect or what you don't want and it clears up alot of the confusion and miscommunication. I'm probably too blunt in some instances, but I think its wiser to just filter out what you aren't interested in right away. I think though you do have to be flexible to the idea that people, that you might not have considered before, can and will suprise you in a good way under the right circumstances.
As for playing games, ignore it. People are rude to you, ignore them. People are dimwits or jerks, ignore everything about them. If you see what you like, go after it and don't waste time. If the person wants to play games, just move on to the next person. It really is that easy. Its all about confidence, its all about knowing that if it doesn't work out, thats ok, because you fundamentally believe that its the others persons loss because you are not in their life. Might sound arrogant to some, but confidence is about believing you have something to offer thats valuable and desired.
Too many people equate attention and number of interested people as successful online dating. They take too much stock in being 'popular' versus just trying to be happy. Sorry but thats really a high school mentality. You don't need to attract everyone, you just need to get it to work with one person to make it worth your time. Too many people pine over miscommunication or misunderstandings silently. If you don't know, ask. If you want to know, ask. If you are curious, ask. Men respect directness as long as its not rude. Think about it like a job. People get training and are told if they don't understand something, speak up. Because time is valuable and who cares how it looks, it matters whether something is going to get done or not. You know what kind of people don't ask when they don't know? High schoolers. Thats right. Because , and this isn't meant to piss anyone off, if you are afraid to ask and you really want to know, thats a bullshit high school tactic.
So you want a man to lay it out honestly, here it is -
Men look at a girls picture then decides whether he wants to **** her or not.
If he does ( which filters out 90 percent of the women) , he clicks on her profile then sees what kind of baggage she might have in her life that would complicate his life.
Then he contacts her, hoping to charm her and have sex with her with as little effort as humanely possible.
She gets his message, decides whether this guy is suitable to **** her or not and either chucks him or ranks him against everyone else trying to **** her. The mans chances of ****ing this woman is entirely dependent on her ever changing mood, luck and who the competition is going to be.
As a bonus, he might find good conversation, someone with a great sense of humor and someone who brings out the very best in him, but this is often a bonus on top of the sex.
Its pretty much that simple. But its rude. Not just to the woman, but the mans sense of his own dignity to come across like that. You can always get what you want, but theres no harm in putting it in a context where people can try to be polite about it all. And thats where people screw up. They don't know the difference between polite and direct with polite and utterly confused. | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:45:24 PM | I'm going to have to disagree here. While I am a big fan of cuddling and foreplay, I do not, in fact, want sex, nor do I see women as a means to an end. I'm more interested in the conversation, the personality, and having a good time with some movies and whatnot. I am not a proponent of casual sex, as it tends to lead to unwanted pregnancies which carry all their own sorts of problems, none of which I want anything to do with.
Now if I could find a woman who can take it on good faith that I mean what I say in those regards, I'd be all set. | |
|
Titian
|
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 116 | |
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 9:15:25 PM | | I HAVE FOUND THAT MEN WILL TELL YOU THAT THEY WANT A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP..BUT AFTER THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT..THEY DONT SEEM AT ALL INTERESTED IN LONG TERM ANYMORE... | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 9:32:23 PM | FlawedParadigm, I looked at your profile and you seem like a cool dude. You're a comedian so it says, so I know you've got some thick skin there, so what I'm going to say isn't meant to be personal. Often we laugh because something is funny, but we also laugh because its true.
The stuff you wrote is the kind of stuff guys write because they think its what girls want to hear. Well what girls say they want to hear and what girls REALLY WANT are two different ballgames, they won't tell you that.
-----
THE UNIVERSAL BULLSHIT TRANSLATOR
While I am a big fan of cuddling and foreplay
I don't have any money to spend on you.
I do not, in fact, want sex
I really want sex
nor do I see women as a means to an end
I want sex over a pool table
I'm more interested in the conversation, the personality, and having a good time with some movies and whatnot
I really do not have any money to spend on you. I mean theres 'no money' and theres 'really no money'.
I am not a proponent of casual sex
I'll wait for you to brush your teeth first, but after that my pants are coming off, non negotiable
as it tends to lead to unwanted pregnancies....none of which I want anything to do with.
I won't nail single mothers (unless they are over a pool table) and I'm afraid you will give me herpes.
Now if I could find a woman who can take it on good faith that I mean what I say in those regards, I'd be all set
I'm lying but I'm hoping you'll gloss over that fact because you are still thinking about the no money thing. I said what you wanted to hear, have sex with me.
--------
Sorry man, you seem like a cool dude, but you are either A) telling women what you think and they say they want to hear which is completely opposite of what they really want or B) truly a nice guy, in which case you are hosed because nice guys do finish last.
Never believe what anyone says man, watch what they do. Thats always the real truth. Good luck on your comedy and your career in it, thats a gig that takes real brass balls to pursue and I respect that. | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 10:30:46 PM | Yeah, I'm pretty well acquainted with the finishing last thing by now. It's taken some time to cope with it, but I figure sooner or later my horse will come in across the line. I actually do have money, but you're right in that I don't especially like spending it. Some of it is general cheapness, some of it is believing that equal rights mean equal responsibility - which means she should cover her own expenses, and some of it is that I don't like investing a lot of things into a potential relationship that I can't get back if things don't work out. It's petty, true, I'm like that.
As for sex...no, really. It doesn't interest me all that much. I've had sex with all of two women, and that was on their insistence, not mine - and one of them still had to wait four months.
I'll put it briefly; I was an unexpected pregnancy myself and my father broke off his engagement to my mum when he found out, claiming to "not be ready for children" despite being many years the senior of my mum and in much better financial shape. I've never met him or even communicated with him directly, and I don't ever want to visit that kind of childhood on anyone else. I want to be ready if something like that ever happens. | |
|
| |
| |
Gage1
|
Joined: 11/1/2005
Msg: 121 | |
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/2/2006 11:25:16 PM | If you have to lie to get lucky , what's the point?
Having said that ,
... I can't help but still chuckle at Al Pacino's classic line from 'Scarface'
"I always tell da truth , even when I lie" | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:42:46 AM | Yeah, I'm pretty well acquainted with the finishing last thing by now. It's taken some time to cope with it, but I figure sooner or later my horse will come in across the line. I actually do have money, but you're right in that I don't especially like spending it. Some of it is general cheapness, some of it is believing that equal rights mean equal responsibility - which means she should cover her own expenses, and some of it is that I don't like investing a lot of things into a potential relationship that I can't get back if things don't work out. It's petty, true, I'm like that.
As for sex...no, really. It doesn't interest me all that much. I've had sex with all of two women, and that was on their insistence, not mine - and one of them still had to wait four months.
I'll put it briefly; I was an unexpected pregnancy myself and my father broke off his engagement to my mum when he found out, claiming to "not be ready for children" despite being many years the senior of my mum and in much better financial shape. I've never met him or even communicated with him directly, and I don't ever want to visit that kind of childhood on anyone else. I want to be ready if something like that ever happens.
Flawed Paradigm,
You do seem like a pretty cool guy. Albeit a nice guy who is probably going to get hosed by women, but a cool guy nonetheless. I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you as a kid. Stuff like that is never easy.
I looked at your profile and it says you are 25 years old. It might not feel like it man, but you are really young. Really really young. That isn't meant as an insult, its just some things like how to deal with people and women come from life experience that you can't really find except by passage of time. Its ok to not know what you want or how to deal with certain things, you are still probably figuring out thing about your own character and your own life much less anyone elses. Trust me man, poll any of the older guys you know or in here and they will tell you how differently they probably saw life and the concept of dating at 25 compared to now.
Your youth is your greatest gift man. Society likes to stigmatize young men who aren't dating or who aren't banging every swimsuit babe around. (To be fair, society also stigmatizes women over 40 who aren't married yet) There's nothing wrong with being single and unattached. This is a great time in your life to think about you career, about saving some money to buy a house, investing and finding hobbies and interests that make you happy. When guys are young, they feel the pressure. Their friends are dating, their friend are getting married and starting families, sometimes its easy to wonder if you are being left behind. Trust me man, you are not.
Let me give you some unsolicited advice I wish someone had given me at 25.
- If you see something you want, women or anything else, don't waste any time and pursue it relentlessly. -
You never get anything if you never ask for it and you never accomplish anything if you never put your ass on the line to bleed for it.
This will help you immeasurably with women because
A) Men who know what they want and go after it are seen as confident. People in general, not just women, love confidence.
B) Women , whether they admit it or not, want to be chased. They want to know they were worth the effort, worth the hunt. Its their way of making sure that their mate is willing to commit to them (or at least they hope so)
And this will make you shed that nice guy problem much more quickly. You don't have time to be a nice guy when you are relentlessly chasing a goal in life. All you care about then is getting to that finish line, even if you have to crawl and bleed to get there. Nice guys are nice because they unfortunately have a hard time making a distinction about the specific goals they want and they lack the experience and tactics to get there. And you might think you pursue what you want now relentlessy, but you are probably wrong. You have no idea how deep you can dig, how far you can push, how determined you can be, how much harder you can work and how much more you can bleed for it if you really set your mind to it.
The guy who gets the girls is the guy who knows what he wants and goes after it relentlessly.
No matter how many girls say no to you about going on dates, your most precious resource is time and you are young man, time is on your side, make the most out of it and you'll find the girl situation tends to work itself out.
Good luck man. | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/3/2006 5:28:52 AM | | I learned a long time ago not to ask the question unless you were ready for the answer. I broke that rule the other night and found out that the man I truly loved "wasn't ready for a relationship" too bad he didn't tell me that months ago before we made plans for the future and allowed our kids to become such good friends, made plans for two weeks of camping in the summer etc........now what am I supposed to tell them? what am I supposed to think? | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/3/2006 5:33:33 AM | Lady_70, I know exactly what you mean. If they tell the lady exactly what they want we can either accept it or not. But the games are something, I have the games and there are so many players and pretenders out there it is scary.
I wish men would understand that for a woman, honesty means something. | |
|
| Why can't a man just lay it out honestly...
Posted: 7/3/2006 5:34:05 AM | Truth of the matter is...alot of men wanna make sure they get in the women's panties, ...then again I am sure you ladies already knew this....then again there are some women who say the same thing to men...and all they want is some strong good di**...excuse my french......as far as me directly...when all I wanted from women was sex..I was blunt about it, though it has been years since I was like that...not I give a woman the option.."we can be friends, or we can be friends and try to make a relationship of it into something long lasting permanent..after all a good relationship should start off with developing a friendship first......thats how I am...cant speak for the rest of the world... | |
|
|
| Page 5 of 6
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 |
|
Home
login 
