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Doug.L
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Joined: 1/17/2005
Msg: 29 | |
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| ow do you know when the time is right to to say I Love You!! and mean it.
Posted: 5/20/2006 2:50:44 PM |
Not in the middle of poke and tickle ...
So thats what they are calling it these days...no wonder it takes me forever to get some..I just go around randomly asking drunk girls for sex!
PS I really wanna see your library J
You just want to see my copy of "How to make it his fault" | |
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| How do you know when the time is right to to say I Love You!! and mean it.
Posted: 5/20/2006 2:51:15 PM | Say it when you feel it. Great advice. I, however, have not always followed my own advice. Sigh. Maybe one day there will be another chance.
And if after 6 months and a baby you don't know if you should say "I love you" then maybe you should re-think the whole pregnancy thing. This is a really big deal to go through and it's easier (please note I did not say 'easy' but 'easier') if you are with someone you love in a committed relationship. And saying that you love him shouldn't feel so scary if it's right. | |
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| How do you know when the time is right to to say I Love You!! and mean it.
Posted: 5/20/2006 7:13:45 PM | Wow thanks everyone ... Its not that im scared to fall in love with him, because i already have. I have been married before and sayin "I love you" became the norm for 10 years. I dont want it to become the "norm" with this relationship. From what i can gather i should say it but only if im confortable doing so and not because its been 6 months and a baby on the way and its now the time to do so. This has been on my mind all day, and i have come to the conclusion ...stop thinking about how and when and where and why.. but to go with the flow because the flow is good right now....and the time will come when it will just roll of my tounge at the right moment with out having to think twice.. You should never have to think twice about a situation,.... if its right and you know it with evey fiber in your body you will just do it. I dont just want to say it because it will make him feel good, and i dont want him to say it back to me just because I said it.. i want him to be confortable with the whole situation..things happened fast and we both now this, we are ready to take the resposibility and move forward.
We should not have to worry about the pressure in saying just because we are in the situation that we are in... Actions speak louder the words. Grrrrrrrrrr this can be so mind consuming... | |
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| ow do you know when the time is right to to say I Love You!! and mean it.
Posted: 5/24/2006 3:30:45 AM | OP - Only you will know when the right time is. However, make sure you know your own definition of love. Love has many definitions and society has put its own definition on love - that Disney-inspired love of all time, with you 'til death do us part love...
If you look at your mate and say... when he is 80 he'll be so handsome, I don't care if in 25 years he can no longer get it up and most importantly - if 5 years from now he had an accident and became a quad in a wheelchair, can you see yourself there beside him day in day out, nursing him, feeding him, changing him?? I guess it is the type of industry I work in - but these are the things I think about and now reserve the word "Love" for someone that I can truly say I care about so much that no possibility in our future is too daunting.
Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.
James A. Baldwin
The best proof of love is trust.
Dr. Joyce Brothers
I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I really want to caution fellow fishies about that feeling of love... After 4 post-divorce years of dating I liken it to a roller-coaster ride... passionate love builds up just like a roller-coaster climbs up for the first time and then, BOOM... down we go. Then the real work of making a relationship last begins. Our eyes are more open and often that thing that attracted us to them the most (her laugh, his boldness, the way his lips move when he talks, does she really eat her fries that way???) are the things that become deal breakers.
And you can blame it all on chemicals!
Dr. Donatella Marazziti studied serotonin levels in 24 subjects who had fallen in love and another group of individuals who had obsessive-complusive disorder (and a third control group)... yup, you guessed it - the levels of serotonin were the same for the fallen-in-love and OCD groups - 40% lower than the "normal" control group. Those butterflies and racing heart, thinking about the other person night and day... ahhhh... an awesome feeling, a little obsessive and all chemically based!!!
Why is it that passionate love (the falling in love phase) doesn't last? For one our brains can't handle those lowered serotonin levels, as well as the dopamine high we also get from "falling in love", for too long... like cocaine addicts plateau. What we are left with then is either the end of the relationship or a new stage and new chemicals. Scientists have shown that when we are in a long-term loving relationship we produce a hormone called oxytocin - oxytocin gives us that feeling of attachment. Women produce oxytocin while breast feeding, creating that life-long attachment with our child.
(Some people are so addicted to the high of falling in love that they never go past the passionate love stage and quickly find someone else to fall for to feel that "high" again)
There are ways of stimulating more oxytocin production if you are in a fizzling rather than sizzling marriage/relationship - pick up National Geographic (mentioned above) for tips.
We are all in love with the idea of love... but what I seek is more than JUST love... I want more!!! I want OXYTOCIN!!! I seek a man who will be committed to me in 10 years... 30 years... 60 years... and to whom I will also be just as committed. But- that takes months to discover because first you need to get past the "passionate love" stage - let all of those chemicals fade away and see what you are left with.
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