| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/20/2006 6:15:24 PM | | Assertive, independent, educated women aren't threatening to any man who is secure and feels at least equal to her. But that doesn't mean that it's not offensive to anyone, a man in particular, when a woman talks/acts like she has a large strapon collection... | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/20/2006 6:15:28 PM | I've said it before and will repeat it---I think it's note-worthy and very fitting here.
Men aren't intimidated by REAL eduction or intelligence but we do NOT like condescending, know-it-all, superior acting females that post BS like this. "Inferior isn't the word--bored, sick and tired, exhausted, lauging-our-collective-arses-off---THAT'S what we are. It's attitudes and nonsensical threads like that that help polarize the genders here on POF and leads to an over all bad impression that we're terrible or they're terrible.
If what you wrote here or if what's been attributed to you in other posts is anywhere near how you really feel your education must NOT have included humility training. Just because YOU think you're intellgent doesn't necessarily make it so. Your education might be a matter of record; your pride has given way to a totally undeserved feeling of superiority for others. Honestly it's this sort of diarrhea of the mouth that gives others like you a bad name.
True strengh of character is shown by actions and compassion towards others. You seem to have forgotten or never learned your accomplishments are only a very, very small part of being human. While you might be smart or well educated you lack common sense to understand assuming a "better than you" philosophy based upon one small aspect of lifes experiences hardly puts you on another level of people who didn't follow your chosen path.
The really intelligent people here don't assume, think or even speculate that those different from themselves are "lesser". You have a degree---so what? Too bad you can't trade that for something that better serves people and not your better, superior self! | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/20/2006 6:33:35 PM | I'll speak from my own experience a bit. And that has been that the more educated people are some of the most humble and rarely talk about their education or what degrees they hold. Personally, the only one who should have an interest in my education level would be an employer or prospective employer. Higher education is a huge sacrifice to make and many of us did that raising our children alone. It does NOT, however have one shred of relevance to how people interact with others. You can educate someone to acquire knowledge and/or skills. Human interrelations are much more complex and not normally a required cource unless you're in the psychology or social services programs. I've found that honestly, your skills of getting along with people at work are at LEAST as, if not MORE important than your skill or proficiency level. You may be a terrific, talented engineer, for example, but if you can't get along with the people you work with and interract, it will affect your career.
And education comes in many more forms than a classroom. Bottom line is that if you can't get along with people, your success as a human being in any form will be severely affected.
We are threatened by people who are boastful and proud in the wrong way of who they think they are. The gender bashing is just needless and a waste of energy. If people focused on how much they're alike instead of emphasizing the differences it would promote harmony not only among the sexes but throughout all of humanity as well. I, for one, do happen to think that we're all more alike than different as we have basic needs and desires in common. I find that those who are happy and successful in relationships emphasizes the commonalities rather than the differences.  | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/20/2006 6:40:43 PM | Yes,I do agree with Bucsgirl.The most educated people are the most humble and modest people you'll ever meet.Wish everyone was like that.Some of them don't even dress up like the high and mighty Harvard grads that you might expect them to be.They are generally very humble and modest.That is so cool! | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/20/2006 7:34:45 PM | My view :
Most of the reason is the pre-empted notion that men must provide.
While it becomes more and more of an option for woman to take up both family and profession, men seem to fall victim to this stigma regardless of the status of said girl.
Meaning woman may chose to be professionally succesful or not, while for men it seems to be expected regardless. | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/20/2006 7:36:54 PM | Thanks for that sayonara. One thing I've personally learned without having to be taught that the vast amount and variety of knowledge and information to assimilate is...well DAUNTING!! The world and daily life now is so much more complex, yet at the same time, through technology, the world is much more accesible. I think it's fascinating that through the internet, we can have friends from around the globe. Yeah, too cool, I agree!! It is something that can enrich our lives immensely, we can learn and read and share with people from other countries, other cultures.
For me, it's broadened my outlooked and informed me and given me a perspective on how other people in other countries and other cultures think. And personally, I love that!! | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/20/2006 8:05:28 PM | 1) Men don't want to be schooled. They want to be treated as equals.
2) Treat others as you would want to be treated. It's advice as old as the hills, but strangely in dire need in today's dating scene.
~Aurora | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/21/2006 7:24:33 AM | I wonder when someone starts another thread about one gender being intimidated by the other wouldn't it be nice for them to include a specific example? That might help others understand the OP means by being intimidated.
It would be interesting if this OP did that.............................. | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/21/2006 7:42:50 AM | This has been my downfall when I was on the paid sites a few years ago..the kind of men that portrayed themselves as a successful man with a good sense of himself..ends up feeling like they have to get "feedback" from me..how they are doing?
Maybe it's the quality of women they have met so far online? I don't know but why men with a high self-esteem would ask ME how they are doing? like "rate me" after a few dates..
If I don't gush over him..he takes it as I am being a "b(^ch!
I like equality and like to be treated as an equal ..and enjoy having company that will treat me as his equal..(he pays one time , I pay one time..he plans an event..I plan an event..) | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:12:14 AM | | Stop dating hillbillies. Perhaps, well, independent, educated, no nonsense men threaten you.. Many women can't control smart men so settle for azzes. The ones that want their women to be bare-footed and pregnant. | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:35:59 AM |
successful man with a good sense of himself..ends up feeling like they have to get "feedback" from me..how they are doing?
.... but why men with a high self-esteem would ask ME how they are doing? like "rate me" after a few dates..
If I don't gush over him..he takes it as I am being a "b(^ch!
Arealangel, regardless of your outward appearance or how you want others to see you, being in a relationship demands certain conditions. One of them is to let your partner know unconditionally how he is effecting you. Randomly acknowledging his presence and the new awareness you have about him might stop the high-esteemed men from wanting constant validation for being present with you. I have heard that some of the greatest leaders learned to serve first; doesn’t take much to humble yourself to a mans presence now and then regardless of how independent you are.
Not attempting to be mean when I say this (working on my diplomatic skills),
 but being independent sometimes gives off the attitude that your self sufficient and have no need of a partner. Most times, the emotional connections are not there. By emotional connections, I mean that the vulnerability of being human or the quality of caring or needing isn’t expressed in whatever form. The 'independent nature' has taken on its own definition with some women and at the end of the day, some of us might question ... 'Being alone can be overwhelming' | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/21/2006 8:58:01 AM | @OP
"my intelligence and blunt way of educating "
Well....it's not what you say, but how you say it. Nobody, wants to feel, 'talked down too'.
Personally, I like educated women, who can hold a decent conversation. | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:30:46 AM | | Depends on the guy and gal. If she's successful she might like to use her skills as a carrot hanging over a horse.I know lots of successful women. Some are real humble about it and others are control freaks. Guys who are secure with themselve have no problem with this.I have found that some guys who meet a successful woman tend to become control freaks themselves...telling her how to invest, what to wear, how to spend....etc...I think it's great if a man/woman has accomplished success without a pompass(sp?)attitude. | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:32:44 AM | I think it boils down to this. Men who know who and where they are in life are not threatend by a strong educated successful woman. I am holding out for that person. I am educated, been in the Marines, traveled the world and done much more. It took me until I was 32 to really understand who I was and what I liked. I don't think that there is enough women like this, in the world. Men have to stop thinking in terms of providing for someone, I think of it as a team effort.
My two cents.
Joey | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:33:34 AM |
my experiences have told me that many men are 'threatened' by my intelligence and blunt way of educating them on the finer art of romance, love, mutual respect and equality that MUST be in every relationship in order for it to survive..they just don't 'get it!'
Hmmm. Is every man available for dating lacking in those four areas and require a bludgeoned education in such areas? Or maybe you can soften up a bit and allow for the fact that men are who they are, and have a slim to nothing chance of changing.
I've dated two successful women, and yes, on a subliminal level it does bother me if there is a big income level disparity, but it is not relationship breaker. One of the two was a high IQ type, (not blaming her but...) it would have been a lot better if she used her braininess for thinking up ways of having fun, rather than using it to impress or opine or try to improve my oalfish and simian behavior. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 47 | |
| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/21/2006 10:39:04 AM | Women who are truly educated and independent exude class and that is the sexiest attribute any women can posses.
Then we have some women with too much attitude and not enough substance who are not being well received by educated and self sufficient men .. and they have the need to come and start threads on the forums ... | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/21/2006 12:18:31 PM | I think that some men are threatened by an independent, educated woman, because some men are intemadated by them. Alot of guys get jealous when a woman is independent... that is... if she has a life outside the relationship. guys might think, "Does she really need me?" Some guys are needy. They want all of her attention. Guys want her to be there all-in-all. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.
freddie1976 | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/21/2006 12:25:14 PM | Well, there's two extremes: the clingy, non-independent woman, and the independent, non-clingy woman. It's easy to go wrong if she doesn't fall into a comfortable middle ground between the two. If she's too clingy, that's a turnoff to me, because it says that she has no opinions of her own, she can't think for herself. Then if she's too independent, i'd be constantly wondering how much i'm actually needed in the relationship. I guess that someone who is too independent could be foreseen as being "standoff-ish" or putting in a part time relationship, where you are perceived as not needing the other person enough. And that's a relationship killer, because look at all the Hollywood relationships---they usually don't last, because they're never together, are very independent, both have careers, and the relationship becomes a part-time thing (especially when he/ she's kissing the other leading actor.....).
Just something to think about. A great person is neither clingy nor super independent, they find a good middle ground with it...... | |
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