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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/22/2006 8:34:44 AM |
Successful, educated, self-sufficient. Sure, it's nice to say a woman is, but if you add it all together, those are traits a man SHOULD have.
You really believe that Sarstan? Are you sure you are living in the right century...the right country.
Oh..just read your profile...your young...there is still hope for you. I refuse to believe that one so young can be so ignorant. Then again you want a "girl" and not a woman. You want a dependent shell of a person who cannot think for themselves, support themselves, or be a contributing factor to society...
So I guess we shouldn't be able to vote too...thats some what of an Old Fashioned ideology...and we should be banned from higher learning intstitutions...or only be able to pursue education in nursing, teaching, mid-wifery? Then perhaps you can throw in some very ignorant ideals that are floating aorund today...like we shouldn't be able to drive. Or get custody of our children in the event of a divorce. Or maybe free female circumcisions for all? | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/22/2006 2:50:58 PM | Old fashioned certainly:but in which universe do you exist?
Life, quite often requires that women be independent. For example, men do leave their families and prefer no to pay maintenance for their children. Picking yourself up and dusting yourself off offers a particularly expensive emotional learning curve. Not losing your home again by getting involved with the wrong man is a lession hard learnt. I accept that I am independent, very practical when it comes to fixing things; enjoy my own space and all the daft things things that I am free to do when at home.
Having a post graduate education means that I am well able to read the documentation and weight up the odds before making a decision. I enjoy my job; it is important to me and I do not wish to give it up to spend my days cleaning the house making meals and waiting for the man to come home. I have done all of this when my four children were all living at home and I have now moved on.
I have found that being a professional lady does tend to send men running, or, they, all too often just assume that if we have been on a few dates that I will become a simpering twit and do as I am told with asking why this is necessary.
I have no wish to control anyone and do not need to know where my man is at every minute of the day. So that it is difficult for me to understand why where I have been in a day is an issue. I don't need to be made happy: I am happy as a person. I would be very nice to be involved in a realationship of equals and not being subjected to the sulks for daring to disagree even mildly.   | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/22/2006 3:44:46 PM | well how educated are you? the school of life speaks more volumes than any decorative plaque on your wall that sez how well you did in school...
looks like you have got something youre trying to prove ...
wtf are "big dogs"....maybe your consumed by whatever it is you do for a living...
a lot of people do that these days....define themselves by their title...
yes and are you a real bonefide person after work too?
who are you really, then? huh? | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/22/2006 3:47:28 PM | | blaming failed relationships or lack of interest by a man on being independant is still just a crock for not being able to take responsibility for yourself.. as i said before , the op's attitude in her posts, thread and profile indicate why men are not interested.. she has big issues with the male gender, plain and simple | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:04:25 PM | I have run into many men that were intimidated by me. I realized I was making a huge mistake with appearing too bullet proof and not making my needs known.
Since I have been doing that my fishing has gone much better! | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:25:35 PM | | Women who are independent and educated are sometimes threatening to men. Why? Because some women run men into the ground with the "I'm smarter than he is", or "I am woman, hear me roar" kind of mentality. A woman can be independent but retain her femininity, be strong but still require strength from her partner, and be intelligent but be open to new ideas. Too often women feel like they have something to prove. They don't! If they are independent...fantastic. It shows strength of character. If they are educated/smart...awesome. It shows intelligence. But I know that I wouldn't want some guy constantly trying to prove he is to me. I am both independent and educated, but am also feminine, comfortable in my own skin, and relaxed and not uptight with trying to prove myself. Maybe that's the difference | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:40:21 PM | | there is a big difference between being intimidated and just not interested... what the lady described as the women who had the "i'm smarter" or "hear me roar " attitude or some who have whatever chip on their shoulder is not intimidating, it is just not interesting, although perhaps it makes the women feel better if she describes herself as intimidating | |
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| Why do men resent condescending instruction?
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:55:03 PM | "Perhaps some men are threatened by a strong woman because they are not convinced she will ever really need them, can toss them out like yesterday's news."
I have been told this myself on many occasions that this is why I am still single. I have had men get mad at me for not asking for help and for just getting things done on my own. They have told me it made them feel inadequate in the relationship. I have always been confused by this philosophy; I would much rather have someone in my life because they want to be as opposed to because they have to be and yet I have found that the men in my past have needed me to need them or else they were left feeling very insecure. I am very giving in my relationships but I don't require a lot in the way of maintenance. I would have thought that would be a good thing but my exes have said that they just feel that I hold myself inside and don't give to them emotionally. I am affectionate but am not given to emotional outburts and don't express them verbally so much. I thought men were not into the "heart on the sleeve" ways of women but yet when faced with a women who doesn't do that it makes them insecure. Oh and yet when asked about where they stand I have been completely honest and told them exactly how I felt so it wasn't like I was cold either. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 88 | |
| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/22/2006 5:00:07 PM | | I have never met an educated professional man who wanted anyone other than an independent and educated woman. However, sometimes, those really bad ego oriented things pop in when she is more successful. Those are just hick ups usually if there is connection and chemistry. | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/23/2006 7:08:38 PM | Men have to stop thinking in terms of providing for someone, I think of it as a team effort. yes, and i also believe some women, too; have to stop thinking of it as being provided for, as well. many women wrongly still expect men to be the major "bread winners,"
but i doubt many of them will post in this forum. these days i believe it takes two incomes to provide not all the bells and whistles that aren't so important, but simply combine resources to make a better quality of life for both.
i may be bashed for this, and so be it if so, but i sincerely believe anyone not pulling their weight is spoilt, lazy, under some sort of special circumstance regarding health, be it of mind, body, etc., or in need of professional help. while work of course isn't everything, it sure helps individuals of both gender's self esteem, to be creative, invent, contribute and be a part of something outside of ourselves to stimulate our minds, our souls, and be an important part of the societal world in general. to not strive to our potential is an injustice not only to ourselves, but also makes us a potential burden for someone else.
in terms of "providing" indeed for me it IS a team effort. while traditional roles may work for some, or even many, the world is diverse and continues to change. the true quality that benefits couples is their skills at communicating what roles they are willing to take on, and admit those they have no interest or inclination in, as well. i believe it is about whatever two people agree on, as in, we each contribute our strengths to build a better life for ourselves, individually AND as a couple. some are naturally more inclined in some areas, while others posess different qualities in which they excel. the trick lies in finding and sharing life with someone honest, open and communicative enough to share an exchange of these qualities and agree as to whom will do what, and in whose natural aptitude and abilities will flourish. that helps to ensure one doesn't feel overburdened or overwhelmed, or as if they are doing all the real work. just my 2 cents. | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/23/2006 7:11:37 PM | I don't think I've ever met a happy couple that weren't too happy people. Before they even met, I think that's a major attraction, someone who's happy with themselves and their life before they meet someone. If you are, then you are with someone because you want to be and not because of a need. That's where the independence comes in, I don't think education is as much of a dealbreaker as independence is.  | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/23/2006 7:28:05 PM | | kUDOS NAME OF FEATHER. I AGREE WITH YOUR EXPRESSIONS. IT DOES APPEAR THAT THE WOMAN WHO POSED THIS QUESTION SEEMS TO HAVE AN HOLIER THAN THOU POSITION WHEN IT COMES TO MEN. SHE WITHOUT TRULY REALIZING WHAT SHE IS DOING, SENDING OFF AN ATTITUDE THAT IS PROBABLY A MAJOR TURN OFF. PROBABLY RECOGNIZING THAT WE ARE ALL INTELLECTUALLY STUPID TO SOMETHING, MAY REMIND HER THAT SHE IS OUT OF COMFORT ZONE SOMETIMES ALSO. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 95 | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/23/2006 8:58:10 PM | | Who me, feel threatened by an educated, independent, self-sufficient woman? Never! In fact I'd rather date a woman who has those characteristics. Why? They only support I would like to give is emotional support. While I can afford financial support, I do not want to have to "buy" love, since love can't be bought! The Beatles said that, and I have to agree with them on that. It is one less burden in making a relationship possible. Anyway, those are my views. Probably why I've not found myself wanting to date the sales clerk at my coffee shop. She's nice, though I'd like to wait to see her get her next more career like job. Of course, maybe she is more self-sufficient than I'm leading myself to believe. Who knows? | |
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| Why are men threatened by an Independent, educated woman???
Posted: 5/23/2006 10:22:02 PM | May-be the sales clerk at your local cafe is a woman with a useless university degree-how pompous
The most important job-regardless of who does it-he or she-is in the raising of our children. And for this emotional intelligence is required. Too few people seem to have it. We all need to be able to take care of at least our basic needs( except for the children, aged , sick and disabled, of course). Having another person in our life should be a desire but not a requirement. Then we do not feel threaten by what we receive or don't receive from others. Relationships are a bonus... Happy Fishing...Ms. Irish | |
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