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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/29/2008 2:19:23 PM |
You can take your “theories” about why single moms can’t get a date and apply it to any of the hundreds of threads out there in Ask a guy/Ask a girl forums
Of course you could, and they are still valid when applied to single parents trying to date.
You just have to add in the other points on top of those. i.e. further restricting your dating pool. If you have fewer potential dates then you will have fewer quality dates, it is not rocket science.
So if you want actual insight and possibly some ideas on how to get the kind of relationship you want the question needs to be "What can I do to be a more attractive potential date as a single parent?". Rather than "what men are missing out on" because simply if a bit harshly they aren't "missing anything", they are still going on dates and meeting new people, just not with as many or any single parents.
If I were having trouble getting dates the first place I'd look is the mirror instead of deciding "all those women must be lesbians if they don't flock to me". Making my problem someone elses problem to avoid accountability and action wouldn't solve that problem for me. But that won't stop this thread or a clone of it from popping up every couple of weeks..... So maybe it is a bit of a gender issue since I've only seen 2 threads like this even posted by single men, and I didn't see nearly as much tendency to blame women in general for not beating down their door, just questions asking HOW to get a shot at a date. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/29/2008 3:21:23 PM | I never said that the points were not valid only that the issues are not exclusive to single parents. Same goes for
"What can I do to be a more attractive potential date as a single parent?" Take out single parent and replace it with any of the excuses people use for not being able to find a date.
I agree that men are not missing out on anything by specifically not dating single mothers. I do know however what men may be missing out on by not dating me if they take every stereotype out there about single mothers and put that on me. That would be the frustrating part because I simply don’t fit into that. Actually I don’t know any single parent that falls into the old stereotypes.
Some people hear something about a specific part of society & believe it because it’s easier to let people think for you. Others are more willing to find out for themselves. If we’re talking just online, I would say there are a great number of men who see “Has Children” and keep on trucking. Luckily there is life outside of the online dating pool, where people actually get to know a person rather than focus on their stats. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/29/2008 4:10:30 PM | eh..i know he wasn't calling me personally ugly.. He was merely making a point..
And I did ask what I can do to keep the guy happy.. so there ya go..one of us asked..and I meant it..
Funny how when I go out with a guy I get all the same questions that he is referring to. What do you do for a living, what kind of car do you drive, Where do you live, oh and I love it that they assume I live with my parents, becuase I have a child. But what's more funny is I don't hear money money money when i get asked these questions.. I just think of good, he is interested in me.
Alot of men are the same way.. they are afraid to get serious because they have been hurt by a women in the past..and you need to prove you won't do that to them. It's a two way street. Just about everything you wrote I can write back. Your advice is not exclusive to single mothers, that's all i'm saying. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/29/2008 4:15:43 PM | Rock..
No..i don't think they are shallow.. there has to be physical attraction for there to be anything..
I just truly didn't think men were so simplistic... Beauty fades...what then??
and no i didn't think he was calling me personally ugly..he was merely making a point.. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/29/2008 10:05:05 PM | NotInnocent you have feminised some male thought process. Now in some instances your ideas will be dead on accurate since we aren't robotic interchangeable beings.
Funny how when I go out with a guy I get all the same questions that he is referring to. What do you do for a living, what kind of car do you drive, Where do you live, oh and I love it that they assume I live with my parents, becuase I have a child. But what's more funny is I don't hear money money money when i get asked these questions.. I just think of good, he is interested in me.
He is asking money money money questions. Chances are fair to good especially if he knows that you are a single parent that he is looking for information to help determine what level of risk he will assume should he decide to pursue you. While a gross over-simplification this is bound to be the most common situation.
Alot of men are the same way.. they are afraid to get serious because they have been hurt by a women in the past..and you need to prove you won't do that to them. It's a two way street. Just about everything you wrote I can write back. Your advice is not exclusive to single mothers, that's all i'm saying.
True, but ignoring the 800Lb gorilla in the room won't make it go away. Single parents are more of a risk to date, and for every stellar single parent there are several that have issues and need serious help. But again it isn't the responsibility of those you would like to date to assume you personally are in the good 10% or be clairvoyant.
Hope that clarifies things a bit. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/29/2008 10:34:00 PM | I'm not ugly. Nor do I think I have an ugly personality.
OK I'm not calling anyone specific here ugly or saying anyone specifically here has a lousy personality. I was making a general point, I want that to be clear.
But again, it seems the point was missed by some.
If you are a woman, what you think men do and should find attractive doesn't matter. Flip it around and see the logic the other way. What if you met a man who thought he had a lot to offer and he thought he was good looking and he thought he was a great catch. Will that make a difference in his confidence level? Maybe. Might that change how he behaves in a way that might be more appealing? Maybe.
Will his assessment of himself make even one more woman say Yes to an offer of a date with him?
No, it won't.
Because he's not dating himself is he? Just because he thinks he's God's gift to women doesn't mean most women are actually going to find him attractive.
Why is this concept so hard for most women to grasp at times?
If 99.9 percent of the men you'd actually want to date walk right past you and ignore you and have no sexual interest in you, most men probably find you ( you as in a woman in general, not you as in anyone specific here) physically unattractive. That's it. Game over. 9th inning shut down. That's all she wrote. Any woman can think she's pretty, won't mean one lick to how many dates she can get with men she'd want to date.
But there's some really beautiful people too. And single moms are some of the most beautiful people!!! Especially since they have to do it all alone.
Again, another point that I hope you single moms take notice of because it's what I was talking about before.
The kind of mother and parent you are has NOTHING to do with the kind of potential date or mate you are. Obviously most men probably want to be around a woman who raises her kids with a bit of decency and love and attention, but the two issues can and often are mutually exclusive.
Does being beautiful make you a good mom TO THE MEN YOU WANT TO DATE?
Does being a good mom make you beautiful TO THE MEN YOU WANT TO DATE?
Do you know how arrogant it sounds to single childless men to be told what we should find attractive and desirable in a date and mate?
Do you know how insulting and arrogant this sounds to single childless women out there? To be told that single mother status is somehow "better" and makes one more beautiful?
There's nothing better than to have the power and control to do what I want with my children, when I want it. Pancakes for dinner??? Sure honey. Mom doesn't need to make a roast for dad 'cuz he needs a 'real' dinner!
No, you are right, there is nothing much better to some than "power" and "control" I'm sure all the other single mothers are clapping now at the image of single mothers you've laid out for them.
I do know what I want right NOW. It might change tomorrow, or next week, but this week, I'd like an understanding male companion who will take me out ALONE. I'm a single mom of 2 boys! And never have I put a man before them. My boys are in bed at my mom's house, not even AWARE that mom is out. I make sure that they haven't lost any of their 'mom' time. Some might disagree with this but the way I see it is, I don't want my children being exposed to someone who might not be around in the future. I don't know what my date will be like and frankly, my kids have been through enough disappointment as it is and having them meet mom's 'friend', only to find out that mom didn't really like that 'friend' is just adding to un-needed disappointment. AND that male that I'm going out with that night, was given ADVANCE notice of the fact that my time is limited and that I can only go out with him at a moment's notice when I'm free and only when I'm able to leave my children with my mom.
Ok, not to pick on the poster who posted this, but I want to show this as an example to the rest of the single mothers in here.
Now some of you women have sons. Many have brothers. Uncles. Male friends. Male coworkers. I'd wager many good and decent and thoughtful people you care about in your life. Would you want those men to be spoken to like this from a potential date? Do you think stuff like this is a good sign of a strong future of real PARTNERSHIP for a male in your life you care about?
Try to put yourself in a childless man's shoes. How does that read to you? I'll save you ladies some of the work, it reads like this to men - WHAT IS IN IT FOR ME?
What is in it for me?
Is that what you want your sons, your brothers, your uncles, your coworkers, your friends, the people you care about to endure in a dating situation?
But you know what would have been really nice? As a single childless man? To hear someone say, "Hey I know it's hard for you too, but let's talk about this and find some common ground and address both of our issues and see how we can try to make this work as partners, as equals, as two people trying to help each other understand what other is dealing with out there"
Is saying that so hard? Does it cost so much to utter those words?
One other thing I wanted to mention...........it takes a 'real' man to date a woman with children. Enough said....
Ok ladies, add it all up here in total. Put yourself in the shoes of a single childless male looking out there to date. Would you like to be told what you should and should not find attractive? Would you like to be told that there is something wrong with you, that you aren't a "real man" for your personal dating preferences? Would you like to feel like the other person only cares about "What's in it for me?" Would you like to feel like there is no role for you, no empathy and no compromise?
Ok ladies, all you single mothers out there, just how attractive did the above quotes sound? Not just to you, but what you think is going on in the minds of a childless single male.
The fastest way to be single and dateless and to die alone is to act like you are doing someone a favor by trying to date them.
Sometimes I wonder if some of you single mothers actually understand and accept that single childless men have feelings, fears, concerns and needs too. Because sometimes it sure doesn't sound like it. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/30/2008 12:28:21 AM | I do not think they are missing out on anything. It is kind of like the old saying "What you don't know can't hurt you"... in other words if they have chosen not to date single moms, and have never dated a single mom then they don't know what the difference is.
People should be allowed their own choices in this matter, I sure as heck don't want someone else telling me who I can choose to date... at some point in our life we were all childless, single and quite possibly; dating other single childless people  | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/30/2008 7:35:25 AM | This entire thread has been very interesting to me. I am also a single parent (a mom) and I can fully understand and appreciate why men don't want to date me because I have children. I have dated single dads with full custody, dads with joint custody, dads with no contact with their kids, and men with no children. Some of the dads I dated were HORRIBLE parents and I could see that the relationship would never work out. Some of the guys were great parents and things went well, but that spark or whatever wasn't there. At any rate, the relationships often ended because of compatibility issues between myself and the man.
I know single moms who are lazy, bitter, angry, worthless biotches who just want to find the next guy to support them and their children. I also know single moms who work their tails off to provide a good home for their children, who pay all their bills, and who are smart, capable, responsible women. The same can also be said for single fathers, of course.
One of the things that does bother me about this entire discussion is the recurring issue of "your baby's father left you, so you are obviously really screwed up". My question to the childless men and women out there is this: Are you also "really screwed up" because you are single? You aren't married or in a relationship so automatically that means that the other person left because you were such a mess? There is a fallacy in this thinking. Relationships end for a variety of reasons: incompatibility, drug and/or alcohol abuse, physical abuse, different needs for one's life, etc. If you are in a relationship with a person who is bad for you, why stay? Are people with children supposed to stay together simply because they have children? Or should a split happen so each person can work towards becoming whole and healthy and pass that along to their children instead of forcing kids to grow up in an angry, bitter household?
What it all comes down to is personal preference. I prefer to date men who are mature and confident and fun. I don't care if they have children or not. If there are children involved I think it is really important to have similar parenting styles and values. If he does not have children, he needs to understand that there are times when my children will come first. But if there is a guy who doesn't want to date me because I have children, guess what? I DON'T WANT TO DATE HIM EITHER!! If he is not ready and willing to be a part of my childrens' lives, then I don't have time for that.
My children don't always come first, sometimes I come first, sometimes my job comes first, sometimes my church committments come first. If I ever remarry, my husband would come first at times too. Parents who say that their children ALWAYS come first are fooling themselves. People are constantly prioritizing things in their lives and things change around all the time. If I decide that I need some time away from my kids and other commitments, guess what? I just put myself first. If I'm dating someone seriously and he needs some time, I'll make the time for him because he's an important part of my life too.
Anyways... I'm done rambling now.  | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/30/2008 10:10:01 AM |
One other thing I wanted to mention...........it takes a 'real' man to date a woman with children. Enough said....
Snort, chuckle, guffaw...
It also takes a real man to see through insults and shaming language. Yeah, insulting men will go a long, long way towards finding you attractive.
Hey, if the guys aren't "real" enough for you, have you considered dating other single mothers? I'm actually serious about this. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/30/2008 2:33:07 PM |
One of the things that does bother me about this entire discussion is the recurring issue of "your baby's father left you, so you are obviously really screwed up". My question to the childless men and women out there is this: Are you also "really screwed up" because you are single? You aren't married or in a relationship so automatically that means that the other person left because you were such a mess? There is a fallacy in this thinking. Relationships end for a variety of reasons: incompatibility, drug and/or alcohol abuse, physical abuse, different needs for one's life, etc. If you are in a relationship with a person who is bad for you, why stay? Are people with children supposed to stay together simply because they have children? Or should a split happen so each person can work towards becoming whole and healthy and pass that along to their children instead of forcing kids to grow up in an angry, bitter household?.
I agree with you completely.
There are many single parents out there, men AND women both, who are now alone and raising kids alone based on difficult or complicated circumstances. No one can control if someone dies, someone else decides to go gay, someone else decides to cheat or leave or run out or refuse to behave like a parent.
But let's be fair.
There are single parents out there who are single parents because of bad circumstances.
Then there are single parents out there who are single parents because they made bad choices.
I often find many single parents cannot make the distinction between the two. Or are in denial about the difference.
If a woman dates a man for five years, gets engaged for another, goes to college, gets a good job, then has a baby and a few years later, her husband dies tragically - what can anyone really say? That's just bad luck and that's sad and I'm sorry for anyone who goes through that. ( And to be fair, I don't think you will find many men period who treat widows poorly in these forums as long as it's clear the woman is a widow)
Then there are women who date a man for three months, she's 17, she has no education, no job, no career prospects, doesn't take care of herself, doesn't have a plan and since society is set up to cater to her otherwise she will sue the everloving sh*t out of someone, she will feel free to wonder when the tall dark handsome powerful CEO with a 18 pound c*ck and a giant trust fund will show up on his white horse and shining armor.
Again, no one said it was fair. But I think many single childless men have a good point when it comes to accountability.
If you picked a man to father your child who died on you, sad as that is, you still picked him.
If you picked a man to father your child who ran out on you, you still picked him.
If you picked a man to father your child who turned gay on you, you still picked him.
If you picked a man to father your child who beat you or abused you, you still picked him.
If you picked a man to father your child who did not have his life together or could not financially support you and your child, you still picked him.
If you picked a man to father your child who cheated on you, you still picked him.
If you picked a man to father your child who you've only known for less than a year, you still picked him.
If any of you single moms have a child with a father who is a lousy unredeeming lazy no account POS worthless dirtbag.
You picked him. You chose to have sex with him. You chose to have a child with him.
I will sympathize with anyone who has a hard life, single parents included. You won't see me shed tears for those having to live with the aftermath of free will and exercising free choice.
I would wager most single childless men are going to be more prone to date and interact with single mothers who had bad circumstances than single mothers who made bad choices. There is a difference. And to be fair, most women are just as harsh at judging men on their pasts too. Again, no one said it was fair.
From the eyes of a single childless guy, lots of single mothers out there, lots of single mothers on this forum treat accountability like a disease. Nothing is ever their fault. They never did anything wrong. They had no part to play in their own mess.
No guy wants to date someone like that. Some of you single mothers have sons. Do you want your sons to grow up and date someone who thinks that way?
If you can't pay your rent, eventually you will get your ass thrown out on the street. Real life. You might not be able to pay because you got hurt and lost your job and you really tried your best. You might not be able to pay because you are a crazy crack whore who blew all that rent money on blow, booze and video games. Either way, the landlord doesn't care. Your ass will still be on the street. Fair? Unfair? No one cares and it doesn't matter.
Dating isn't any different. If you are single mother, you could be there because you had bad luck. You might be there because you made bad choices. Either way, your dating pool will shrink dramatically. Fair? Unfair? Who said life was fair? Who said dating was fair? But you will find more men will be more open for those single mothers who accept their part in the situation and who did their best to make good choices to START.
As I said before, single mothers will probably get as much empathy back from single childless men as they give. The more attractive you make your situation, the more realistic you handle yourself, the more likely you will find someone to share your life with. I'm sorry but way too many single mothers out there are lazy about DATING. ( I did not say lazy about raising their kids) Too many think get hung up over the idea that somehow men should behave the same way when the woman was previously childless.
Work harder at being a better mate, a more attractive dating prospect and good things are likely to happen. Do nothing, play the "Well a real man needs to accept me for me no matter what, even if I am a lazy person about dating and do nothing to improve my life" and you will get nothing.
You picked him. Own it. Own the choice. Own the aftermath. Do that and you'll find more single childless men will take you as as single mother much more seriously and with more regard. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/30/2008 3:14:11 PM | As a single man(before you say anything i was engaged-she passed on many many moons ago)
i think it is both sides that tend to look past everything.
There is no one side to blame, both sides needs to take responsibility.
A very smart woman i have the privilege to call good friend and her husband told me the one main problem in most relationships today is men and woman, in most cases are never taught they can be friends. I myself realize there is truth to this in my case(and yes which i worked hard to fix in myself).
most boys from very early on are taught that girls are either not to be romped with(play i mean) or are just for dating.
woman mostly are taught that to catch a man they need to be all goggle eyes and let the man act smart, throw in seen and not heard as another(tho that is not to a common cases anymore then years ago)
neither side was taught they can actually be friends and learn,listen and with mutual respect care for one another without jumping into bed.
as for me i have been type casted quite a bit by woman and men alike,let me give examples
1) i live and take care of my 78 year old mother since my father passed away---right off the bat i am a mama's boy(sorry to laugh at this,but for one me and my mom agree on nothing,but my father taught me a sense of responsibility when it comes to family)so most woman pass on you from the gecho.
2)i am not married at 50 and have no children---this equates to there must be something wrong with him and he has no idea about how to handle kids
RESPONSE: i am not married because i hold my fathers name in deep regard and am not going to share it on a whim. I take marriage and the oaths takin very seriously. As for raising kids? If people would not judge one so quickly they would find out i have help raised 3 boys(my cousin children who non really got to know there fatheras he passed on).They grew up around me and i had to be the bad guy when it came to certin situations and the time for the talk,lol
most men and woman say they want a good person but what i have seen is a portion of married woman married young and had children and are now in the stage of wanting to make up for lost time with the proverbial bad guy they think they can change.
and for the guys? a good portion of them will say what they need to to get into the woman's pants because they just dont get it that both sides can actually be friends and get to know each other before the next stage.
and i know what some are thinking, if he so perfect why isnt he with someone, well i am not perfect ,my god i dont even come close but i am happy with who i am and where i am in life and what i have learned(one can never stop learning), i am confident on my respect for people and there daily lives and i am above all single because i want to be.
an old saying by my father
"better to be single for the right reasons then be married for the wrong ones"
do i hope to find someone weather they have children or not, yes , bit becuase i would like to-not because i have to
to all who read this thank you for allowing me to post
regards
brian | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/30/2008 4:47:46 PM | ha..I guess that's the whole men are from mars women are from venus thing.. I see one thing he sees another even though we are both looking at the same thing. I am not defending single parents. There are bad apples in every bunch and they always stick out more then the good ones. but when it comes to dating...Apparently I am still single. The common factor is me. I attract childless men more then those with children. Not a concious choice, just who pursues me. So i am trying to understand maybe what i am doing wrong. If it's simply that i'm a single parent..then why are they pursuing me? I don't hide that fact. For those who I would like to date.. Personally I don't pursue anyone, so if I'm out on a date, chances are he wanted me and we go from there. Eh a friend of mine says that the other men are idiots, that's why i'm single. He's heard the stories of what went on between them and I and says that they are idiots basically. . I don' tknow.. I wish I could call up those men and just ask them ha ha... but who wants to hear from an ex.. I asked this current guy if I spend enough time with him because i seem to be reading alot about time constraints and he said that it's not me. It's him he thinks he's not making enough time for me. Go figure..and i'm the one with the child.. I don't know.. Guess if you love something enough and they come back, it's meant to be.. maybe that's true..Guess i'll be finding out one way or another.
Wow..that was full of cliches.. lol.. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 9/30/2008 4:56:04 PM | power and control over your children?? wow.. that's a bit much... It's nice to make pancakes for dinner, but why cant' that happen if you have a man?
ha ha..it takes a real man to date a woman with children.. reeeally.. I guess those fake blow up guys have a little trouble witht he clutch huh??? LMAO..Maybe that's my problem.. i must be dating blow up dolls.. lol
that's a ridiclous statement anyway.
A single mother is more beautiful then anyone else because they have to do it alone?
That's a ridiclous statement too..
Why does being a single mother make us more beautiful then anyone else? It might make some of us stronger, or make some of us smarter or more mature. but it doesn't make us beautiful. If a person has an ugly soul it's doesn't change automatically when a child enters the picture..people can change..but it not an automatic thing... | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:34:14 AM | | Ok, Im going to be probably be attacked for what Im going to say but sorry guys, its the truth no matter how much you want to deny it....Men my age or around my or younger...most anyway...are not ready for a fmilyand quite frankly arnt ready to grow up like that yet. Men in my age area are still in the hanging out with friends and bar hopping stage of thier lives where they dont want to be locked down. Men say in thier 40's and 50's have probably already gone through the children phase and dont want to again. Its not like it was 20 yrs ago. Im 31 and 20 yrs ago most men already had a family, a nice home and whatever else. Now a days, a lot of men my age are more content with the bachlor life so they can party more without hearing someone ask them when they are coming home. Me personaly I would love to find a woman who has kids because in my opion she is more grounded than women without kids cause they have really seen what real life is about. Women without children can say all they want about how they know what real life is about, but you dont. Until you have kids, you really have no clue. There are very few of us guys that will date women with children, BUT when you do find us, its usually something you never regret doing...My personal opion anyway. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 10/1/2008 5:49:33 PM | | Why would you be attacked? Its merely a preference.. like I don't date guys who are less then foot tall.. lol.. that's not really one of my things.. it jsut makes me laugh. Good luck in your search.. Simpel fact is people without children for the most part gravitate to those without children. People with children gravitate to those with children. Well at least that's what the concensous is. i don't see it in my world. To each thier own is all it is.. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 10/1/2008 9:48:20 PM | Nutt I see the issue being discussed as, those that appeal to some of these single parents are:
- Not finding single parents appealing.
- Not willing to be in a position where they can be financially raped "in the best interest of a child" that is not their own.
- Not so interested in taking a backseat to children that are not their own.
- Not interested in an "instant family", or developing bonds with a multitude of children through dating that we may never see when the relationship stalls.
As a social experiment single parent families have failed miserably. It is not usually better for the children or the involved adults. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 10/1/2008 10:02:34 PM | loony the OP is
Give your reason why you think men are missing out if they choose not to date single woman with kids.
If the 19 pages of posts have evolved the topic into something else, maybe we should start over again.
There are people who don't want to take on raising someone else's children or feel that a mom not in a healthy relationship has something wrong with her, that they don't want children at all preferring to live their lives as they enjoy without any obligations or commitments or a million other reasons. And that works both ways--there are women who feel that way about men with children.
The point is "to each their own." If you don't want to date a mom with kids, then don't. You're not losing anything because that's not what you are interested in and there's not a darn thing wrong with preferring specific characteristics or requirements in the person you want to be your life partner. There would be something wrong with NOT having specific requirements in a life partner. I don't want to be involved with someone who does drugs--that's a personal preference and it mortally offends people who are doing drugs, but that's not my problem. See what I mean? Personal preferences.
What's the point of getting into a relationship and involving children when that's not what you're interested in and the children get messed up when they get abandoned by someone they've learned to love and rely on. Or see their parent messed up when the other person realizes they should not have pushed aside their true feelings and ditches them. I recently had my first serious relationship where I allowed a man to be part of our family, and I can tell you the damage to my child and I was debilitating and certainly not in either of our best interests. I will never allow that to happen again.
I don't consider my situation (or anyone else's) as a single parent (and I do mean single as there is no child support or any type of contact with my daughter's father or any other father figure) to be a social experiment. It's just a life circumstance. And personally I think "staying together for the children" is a good option, but that's not my choice to make for others.
I do agree that a two parent home is best, but there are far worse situations than our single-parent home--no one in our home is spending all our money getting drunk or on gambling, no one's getting beat up or abused in any way, my child doesn't get left to fend for herself and is not allowed to run wild around the city--all of those things have happened just as easily in two-parent homes as where there is only one parent.
Nutt | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 10/2/2008 3:07:05 PM | As a social experiment? You consider the lives of people and thier children a social experiment? Is there some test group that I am unknowingly participating in? Its not like we all said hey I know..i'll have a baby and raise it by myself.. that sounds like fun..
Financially raped.. lemme make a comment there.. Any person who allows themselves to be financially raped by another person for any reason is stupid and it is their own fault for allowing that to happen. for the best interest of anyone involved..
Also in the beginning of a relationship a person can't possibly expect to be placed as number one. As the relationship proggresses the other persons positions on things should gain more merit and be considered when making decisions. that is how is should be. Admittedly it is not always like that.. but if it's not then maybe you are with the wrong person.. The needs of children do come first, but there is a way to incluide the needs of another adult if you want to. | |
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