| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 2/28/2005 1:40:18 PM | | in my opinion a man misses out every time he dosent give a woman a chance because of her past,her looks,or any thing that has nothing to do with the future..The past is history an has its place,the future is a mistery and who knows where its place may be??? | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 3/3/2005 11:09:08 PM | Zelgadis,
Two things 1) you are a moron if you have a way out of paying 4500 to your exwhatever, and you don't. Men often get raped in this way.
2) There is a reasonable amount of money your kids do need to live on and as the biological father regardless of what a court says you do have responsibilities to them and to make sure they are taken care of.
I would get out of paying that amount but would set up a fund for my kids to be used soley by them (ie setting a college fund for them or a start in life fund ie when they turn 18 or 25 they get money that you have been putting aside for them in the trust fund the whole time. It does not take 4500 a month to raise the kids and we all know where the money ends up going. If you have a way to fight the injustice in this the you d*mn sure need to, but don't abandon your kids in the process. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 3/4/2005 1:58:41 AM |
And yes woman in the usa are so money hungrey it's not funny. Even the fat nasty ones think they deserve the best looking guy but they have nothing to offer him but 5 kids a a big belly[/qoute]
That has got to be one of the most offensive statements I have ever read. Many women are not money hungry. I'm 23, a single parent, I work 40-50 hrs per week to support myself and my child. I don't see a penny from his father nor do I even hear from him. I do not look for a man simply to have a father for my child or for him to support me and my child. I'm quite capable of remaining self sufficient as I suspect many other women in the US are capable of as well. You sicken me. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 3/4/2005 3:29:57 PM | Kychik
Do not think that way, There are single Dads like me for the Single moms. I sometimes find hard to get response from Single moms. They keep busy sometimes with the kids. Hence the general feeling would be " Oh she is single mom with kids - Would not get enough time to date and enjoy life "
I am in the favour of dating and having relationship with single moms. Well just to tell you that I like your profile too.
Andy | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 3/6/2005 2:39:55 AM | Wow-I think this question is best answered by the person who asked it. If a woman has kids and you want to be with her, then hell ya you're missing out if you can't accept all of her (children inc.) If you're basing your dating criteria on women who do not have kids...then again, hell ya you're missing out because I read all the posts on here and there sounds like there are some single moms who would probably make great partners.
Tigress-I hear what you are saying but what do you call a family? Men may want a family of their own (in a biological sense) and I know that I am not alone as a single parent when I say that I am open to maybe having more children with the right person.
I salute blended families and men who are not hung up on the "they're not MINE" bullshit....I live in a close knit extended family situation and we care for eachother's children without any of the biological ownership. When will we realize that we are all responsible for eachother? | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 3/6/2005 3:30:14 AM | Sorry to hear that-There is no doubt in my mind that a man dating a single mom has to have some understanding of her situation,as well as, patience.
My advice is laugh....any situation is better when you can smile at it.
That kid hugging you and saying he loves you was kinda sweet...children sometimes intuitively know who is good and who is bad. You shouldn't 'freak out'..he obviously thought you were pretty neat. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 3/9/2005 5:52:30 PM | Always Striving....did you ever think that maybe it is who you were dating. It sounds to me like the children were not the issue. It may be only me but my kids don't meet you until I am sure taht I like you and even at that you are a "friend" and you sure aren't allowed in my bedroom unless my kids aren't home. These are the rules to protect you, me and the kids. And yes my kids ask about their dad and guess what I say he's at work and they will see them on the weekends.
I understand why you don't want to date single mothers however, it ticks me off to find out that I am unfit to date because of some past experience the guy had with another single mother. That would be me saying that I wil never date another "baker" because I had bad experiences in that department before. But it is up to you...I like to think that I am worth the risk though....lol | |
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Webbum
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Joined: 1/18/2005
Msg: 35 | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 3/16/2005 10:33:24 AM | I am a single mother of a beautiful two year old. I never knew myself inside until I had my son. Children are truly God's gift to people. I think if men limit themselves to only single women without children, they are missing out on feeling comfortable and safe in love. I am not saying they should date only women with children but they should keep that option open. The other side of this is that the man might get attached to the child and clash personalities with the mother. Then the man is stuck without the opportunity of seeing the child again after he and the mother have split ways. It can be considered a double edged sword.
The one phrase I can stand is "baggage." I do not think people should consider a living, breathing, feeling, human being someone's 'baggage.'
Before I had Xavier, I had never considered children but ha has brought so much life and love and unmost astonishment into my life, I am not sure how I carried myself through the day before him. The most wonderful thing is to see a little smile cross his face when he learns something new or discovers something I thought was frivilous.
When his face lights up and he runs to me and says "mommy" ...it then I know True, unbreakable LOVE in its purest form
Faith | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 3/27/2005 11:19:10 PM | Not always true rrrockstarrr.
I'm a single mom and a down to earth honest person. Other then my name. that was strictly to make me feel better.
I left my daughters father because he was an abusive control freak. He'd check up on me 7X a day at my job which was just across the street from where I lived. I'm a single mother because I would never leave my daughter with a man like that. I love her too much to do nothing about that situation.
Men aren't always the ones to leave. and women aren't always to blame. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 3/28/2005 2:45:00 AM | Well, I'm a single father and If I date a woman for 2 years she's obligated to pay child support til my daughter is done university. she's must also pay half of her tuition.
So, Single parents rock!!! Come on rich babes!! | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 3/28/2005 5:45:27 PM | well i am a single mom to a 15 month old....i find it very hard to find a guy that can accept me being a single mother cuz they dont understand my situation.....once u become a mom or dad things change drastically....my whole outlook on life changed and that makes me more selective on who i choose to surround myself with because that person may have an influence on my son if it gets to that level....but i dont hate on the guys that dont choose to date single mothers but dont criticize our decisions....
but i feel that a man (or woman) who is really secure with him/herself and the relationship would not have a problem dating a single parent....it takes a real man (or woman) to accept someone elses child and love them like their own...
just my opinion | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 4/13/2005 4:05:01 PM | Imagine a kid you see anywhere today. It could be the mall or a school setting.
Do you think they are "god's greatest gift" or deserving of being put first?
It would depend. Maybe an infant might need to be but the older kids, well NO.
Children are a huge amount of work in a great many ways.
The older they are the harder it is to fit in.
Children need so many things.
They can give back but it depends on the kid, the upbringing, and the parents.
Many kids are very selfish and it is their nature.
You need lot's of patience.
If you just want a woman, stick with single non-mothers.
Be careful that the woman do not trap you into getting her pregnent.
If you do, it's like buying a car but the payments are for 18 years!
This decision must be made well to have a good life.
These women made decisions that didn't work out (ditto for divorced men).
Don't leave used condoms arround as she can inseminate herself with a turkey baster.
It's easy. Bang she is pregnant! Some women want a meal ticket.
Other women would think of this as the worst thing to do. It depends on the person.
Kids need constant attension and everything will cost money for sitters and ....
There will not be alone time unless they are sleeping.
Your plans will be interrupted by sicknesses and broken arms.
They will get you sick since germs brought from school will spread to others.
There will be daycare pickup, soccer practice, and running them to the mall and most everywhere.
This is a big enterprize and make no doubt about it! It's work--hard work 24/7.
There is no peace with kids but maybe you like that.
There is likely to be no quiet and the house will mess up faster than you can clean it.
This can be followed by pets as kids and pets need each other.
You will want to be pampered by the women BUT YOU WILL BE SECOND!
Does that sound good? Guess?
They will say you are SELFISH if you don't so watch it buster!
Get real! You know the truth as you were a KID!
You are not selfish. That pride and joy is HERS and HER old man's.
The reality is that she may leave you and go back to him--get that!
How's that for selfish? And, you might like the kids by then! WOW!
Kids can be rewarding at times too but there is no certainty.
They have so many things to do from video games to movies to sleepovers.
A kid with a cell phone is a threat to the pocketbook.
Kids will be a bigger threat to your relationship with her.
The reason is that they will try to manipulate you to get what they want.
This can get you in trouble. Kids are very smart and know mom very well and better than you.
Kids can be a joy but turn a more simple dating situation into a complex chain of concerns and issues.
Best if you just marry a woman without kids, have your own and never leave her.
It also helps to get as much education as possible.
Then you might find a good woman with a young child and make it work.
Be prepared to work for it.
I don't think you miss out in the sense that setting up your own family might be safer.
However, think about that these divorced women come from somewhere.
The best predictor of behavior is past behavior and that is a fact.
These things tend to repeat.
Get real guys. These broken families messed up and in past days a woman like this was considered a less desirable woman.
This is why still today some men say the right things to get laid then take-off.
Be Nice and don't prey on a woman's situation! | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 4/14/2005 1:16:51 AM | smily posted:
I understand why you don't want to date single mothers however, it ticks me off to find out that I am unfit to date because of some past experience the guy had with another single mother. That would be me saying that I wil never date another "baker" because I had bad experiences in that department before.
i have been in this situation before. i was " having benefits" with a girl i liked so i asked her out. her responce was " i cant date you i have had bad luck with men named jon"
stuff like that happens all the time. i know it sounds stupid but there are alot of stupid people in the world. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 4/14/2005 7:46:05 AM | @tangoperu
Well said, indeed. We are not responsible for one another. We are responsible to ourselves and our families.
In general,
I have read the responses about how "we may be missing out." Well, big deal. Did you know in a divorce you can be held liable for child support for children that AREN'T YOURS?!?!?!?!?!?! And what if you're in a siutuation like me. You have a child you're raising and don't want any more? Is that wrong? I know it sounds hypocritical, but it's not what I want in MY life. There are women who choose not to date me because I have a child. Fine by me and I harbor no ill will toward them.
There are a lot of complications to consider when getting involved with someone who has a "ready-made family." It's not as simple as "well, you're just immature to eliminate single parents from your dating pool." In fact, it might be the most mature decision someone can make. If that person doesn't want kids or to feel obligated to support them monetarily or emotionally, it is quite damn mature for someone to reckognize that.
There are many, many guys who wouldn't even pause to think about the implications of dating a single mom. Credit those who do. Don't get upset with them when they decide it's not for them. They're being honest with themselves and with you. Better than getting involved with someone, investing yourself and only seeing it fall apart because that person simply could not make it work with your kids or came to realize they weren't ready for that responsibility.
I'm sure there are some wonderful positives to dating single moms for some men. There are some wonderful positives for women to date me as opposed to a childless single. But you have to be the right person with the right frame of mind. And single parents need to stop taking it personally when people don't want to date them because they have kids. Not dating you because you might be overweight or a redhead instead of a blonde or perhaps because your bust size isn't big enough is petty and trivial. Not wanting to date you because they, for one reason or another, don't want children in their life is a respectable and honorable decision. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 4/14/2005 7:49:54 AM | You said:
i have been in this situation before. i was " having benefits" with a girl i liked so i asked her out. her responce was " i cant date you i have had bad luck with men named jon"
stuff like that happens all the time. i know it sounds stupid but there are alot of stupid people in the world.
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She did you a favor. Overtime you might well become attached to her as a result of "benefits".
A girl with that kind of mind could be trouble if she ever deicded she wanted to "love and infant". That is, yours.
It's not hard to tear a hole in a condom if she puts it on you with here mouth.
So, stupid is as stupid does.
There are two kinds of stupid: some that believe strange things and some that hang out with them.
Good luck. | |
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| How are Men missing out, If they choose not to Date sigle moms
Posted: 4/14/2005 8:11:16 AM | coco said:
I give you much credit for what you have done. I would love to have a man like you that think about what a woman wants and not about what is in your pocket.Great Job and Keep it up.I am glad you are home.
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"what a woman wants and not your pocket" That could be why she is divorced.
Get it?
She want to spend your money since if she were married to you everything is hers.
Money is a big problem in relationships.
Wise management is key and with credit today it is hard to manage what she might spend.
Did you know she can signup for credit cards without you and just charge it up.
So, you must partner with a trustworthy and disiplined woman and not someone that thinks she has a right to your pocket if that makes her happy.
There are many men that do not lead a family and let the woman run it.
It many times ends in financial disaster and you split.
Did you notice how most divorced women have huge debts to pay off and statistics on bankrupcy is very high with divorced couples.
Get real people. | |
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