| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:42:48 PM | Family of geniuses on both sides, most everyone married geniuses and most everyone divorced. I have always been the most well rounded-not the smartest in any given area, but could try *any* academic/scientific/artistic career. Pissed the fam off when I dissed Mensa. took the test and giggled. Heck, my son got 169 and the other *only* 132. To their teachers I said. Whoopee. The smart one likes digging and the *dumb* one like welding. THEY LOVE it. Do what you love. I was a lot happier mucking barns, riding fence and runnin dohggies in between being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen on a farmhouse that required oldtime livin and prairie knowledge. But I still loved my books of dozens of odd subjects.
Then try having a stroke, you're IQ can remain roughly high, as in, the library is still full but a lot of the books are locked up. I was still capable of having intelligent conversation though I was rebuilding my vocabulary, couldn't count and became easily confused when stuck with visual similarities, and my once infallible sense of direction was so screwed that I'd get lost in my own tiny house. Then there were the obsessive compulsive issues, I mean, here's brainiac me staring at a cupboard door because I'm so dang stubborn- I'm trying to communicate the "SHUT THE DOOR" desire in my brain to my arms, hands, hips, *some* part of me. I could open, I couldn't SHUT. The other day I recalled a phone number and it stunned all my co-workers into silence, I couldn't do that a year ago, and here in Ajo, we only need to recall four digits. I've certainly noticed that I can walk into my kitchen and find every cupboard and drawer shut, finally. I never give up, I take breaks, I don't give up. God bless my friends and children for sticking through this. I had re-learned a lot of things, learned NEW things, found I had lost bad habits (like in sewing and in driving) and I had become completely new (such as with my art and writing) and I had become intuitive about some things and lost my intuitive ability with others (dancing with the first, haircutting with the latter), and all this means WHAT??? after five or so years? That my academic intelligence is INTERESTING, that it has its purpose, that it can grow and change. And I'm now ambidextrous and can twirl a baton with both hands, but I still can't cut my steak. Who cares what my IQ is?
WHAT is my character? My emotional IQ, if you will. A man's character, and how it matches mine is what will make or break the relationship.
Gini | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/21/2006 9:48:14 PM | There are several genuise types on my dad's side. One second cousin I had actually got to work on one of Albert Einstein's projects and ended up in the US Senate.
But yes, emotional IQ is very important to me as well. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 1:44:20 AM |
There are several genuise types on my dad's side. One second cousin I had actually got to work on one of Albert Einstein's projects ********and ended up in the US Senate********.
Government........Politicians.........the most corrupted organization that exist on the face of earth.........yeah, I believe that.
(No offense intended, just the flat truth) | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 2:58:27 AM | | He was on the Senate as a human rights advisor for miniorities. He got his doctorate while running a large company on the side. His father taught native children on reserves. Don't paint everyone with the same brush. Some people get involved in politics to try to make a difference. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 3:15:28 AM | I am going to throw a monkey wrench into this thread.
I don't believe that IQ has that much to with the success of relationships. I think that the success of relationships has more to do with heritage, background and experience, and the EQ. (Not to mention, whether you like each other's families.)
Sexual compatibility, of course. No IQ involved there, necessarily... | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 3:19:50 AM | | I am not sure about the IQ bit..I find it does not matter..the smarter ..the less common sense he has..the dumber the less activities he does..maybe a middle ground would be nice..a smart guy that has common sense and is active? | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 3:20:07 AM |
Government........Politicians.........the most corrupted organization that exist on the face of earth.........yeah, I believe that.
(No offense intended, just the flat truth)
Not that this has anything at all to do with the topic at hand, but why would you even bother to say that here? Or was it to imply only Politicians can be geniuses? If so that's quite obviously not true with our current president. I will also disagree about the most corrupted organization for a myriad of reasons, but I'll just put an example of one that is more corrupt. Organized Religion, and no I am not saying this to get into a debate with anyone who is or is not of any specific religions, to each their own and I wish you joy and happiness in whatever you believe. But for my personal feeling, there is nothing more corrupt than religion. Anyways to bring this back around to the topic. 1. That 2nd cousin of yours probably has some awesome stories. 2. I've been tested a few times, and done the random drunken 3am iq test online too. I remember scoring higher drunk than I did sober one time as well. The point here is, I know alot of people with IQ scores that are definitely not going to put them in the MENSA running who are very intelligent and very good at the things they do. I also know some people who have turned down MENSA who wouldn't know how to check their oil in a car or walk up stairs while talking. It's all relative in my opinion. As for me, I am not as smart as Einstein apparantly, but I am smarter than "average" geniuses.  | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 3:34:53 AM | A young boy, at my daughters school has an exceptionally high IQ (almost 200), is physically devine and is a lovely kid (most of the time). However, he is autistic (spelling??) and has very little concept of appropriate social behaviour. Don't get me wrong...he is not a violent or aggressive child, but is prone to passively w*nking whilst reading profound writings to the class.
I personally think that the basic connection you have with a person, if you make each other smile and bring out the best in each other. is FAR more important than their IQ score will ever be.
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 3:38:42 AM | | Ya it's fairly common for autistic kids to have really high IQ scores, it's the rest of their development, usually social skills as you mentioned, are lacking. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 3:43:48 AM | | Kinda goes to show that the IQ score is not the be all and end all don't you think? | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:16:00 AM | 20 IQ points is quite a difference and I tend to disagree with
that theory.
As you know... many women play dumb... because smart women
tend to run men away.
Really smart women tend to just frustrate and irriate men no matter
how smart or dumb they are... maybe more irritated is the equally smart man.
So blah to that theory 
its a bunch of hooey....
There is IQ and EQ (emnotional intelliegence)
and I feel it is emotional intelligence that attracts
people to each other...
not IQ ...... | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:19:01 AM | Pamelarae nailed it.
All the IQ tests I've ever seen test one thing - math skills.
While being able to understand what another person is saying makes conversation easier, physical attraction and personality compatibility are vastly more important in deciding whether or not the relationship is going to work. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:23:40 AM | | I'd say just take opposable thumbs as an objective and run with it. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:29:33 AM | I see autistic kids at my work and they can be very intelligent. It really just depends though. Some of them have these extraordinary memories but are completely disengaged from the world. They have to be taught diligently the same things over and over and they whys explained because they just don't know. Many can't take the lessons they've learned from one situation and apply it to a similar one.
Intelligence is just one factor. My awareness, my beliefs etc. are all important to me and I want to be with someone who can respect that and who I can at the very least, discuss my ideas with.
I've dated guys who have dismissed my opinion simply because they didn't understand it nor did they want to. I don't want to be with that type of guy.
He doesn't have to be a rocket scientist. Just someone who's intelligence I respect. There are different types of intelligence. I would totally agree with the above post about changing oil and stuff like that. I'm completely helpless LOL. It is a real chore to yank my head down from the clouds to deal with stuff like that.
Just because someone isn't wrapped up in theory doesn't mean I won't find them intelligent. I could care less about an IQ score. I can't picture enjoying myself spending a lot of time with those that do. I also don't want to be with someone exactly like me....we'd never get anything done. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:48:50 AM | just have a conversation with the person. if you guys enjoy talking about the same things, use the same vocabulary, and neither one feel intimidated by the other, then you probably have similar IQ's.
I spoke with a guy on the phone the other day and every other word out of his mouth was the f-bomb and he used phrases like "ain't got none" and "i don't know no one". he couldn't carry on an (in my opinion) intelligent conversation so is not my type. but someone else who speaks that way as well probably wouldn't notice or care and they are probably of the same education level.
on the other end, i met someone who could only talk about quantum physics and differentials, albeit intelligence, they lacked social skills. so he may have been educated, but can't relate to people on a personal level.
anyways, my point is just talk to the person. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 4:53:36 AM | | Remember, someone *can* have a high IQ and still be as dumb as a box of rocks when it comes to common sense. | |
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7times
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Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 42 | |
| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 5:04:39 AM | | I think I"m going mark this as one of the dumbest as* things I've heard of. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 5:35:04 AM | | Can you spell poop backwards, ya thats one of the questions!!!!!! | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 6:27:38 AM | | IQ tests are simply a measure of one's capacity for intelligence...it's an interesting marker to guage where a person's strengths and weaknesses are in thought processes, but not a true measure of one's intelligence. As many others have said...conversation, and a shared interest in a wide array of topics would be a better guideline to determine whether or not you'd have a mentally stimulating relationship. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 6:38:56 AM | Why is one person able to score so much higher on an IQ tests than another person can?
It's not because they have no common sense. It's not because they have no social skills.
There is something different about the way they do the test. What is the test?
The test presents you with information, asks you for an answer. It presents problems, asks for solutions. A high score is about how your mind solves problems presented in test form.
Why does one mind do this so much better than another? What does the mind do differently?
Part of the answer relates to how the world is seen, or your outlook on life. Part of the answer relates to how you view and solve problems.
Imagine your outlook on life and your problem solving skills are made up of from as few as 4 to as many as 12 parts. For each of these parts you can see more, and solve more problems faster. Or imagine yourself as a child compared to yourself now, just in terms of your ability to understand life and solve problems in life.
The person with all 12 parts is going to see solutions quicker, and see more of them. They will also recognize problems more easily to start with. The 12 can do everything the 4 can do, the 4 can do only some of what the 12 can do. As a child you could do a lot, but as an adult you can do even more.
Any two people can get along fine but for people whose IQ's differ widely, it will be because one of them made a choice to accommodate the other's lesser abilities, or, their greater ones. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 7:41:25 AM | | oh i feel really sorry for those mega geniuses, or mega dumb people. their pool of potential lovers is small. actually, i dont' feel sorry for them, but yeah, they must have a tiny pool | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 8:07:05 AM |
I remember scoring higher drunk than I did sober one time as well.
Ahh this I remember, too. At the (drunken) time, it quite freaked me out.
Personally, I'd love to meet the person who doesn't think being asked their IQ in a series of date is rather stupid. Not that I'd ever presume to ask anyone this, but the person who wouldn't mind the question would be a very rare bird. | |
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slick6
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Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 49 | |
| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 8:30:21 AM | Unfortunately IQ tests may prove to be inaccurate. They measure certain problem solving abilities and natural talents. I'd rather trust what the person shows me, then I can see where their strengths are. Go to movies. Not just the hollywood blockbusters, also check out independent films if you like those as well. Play some games with each other from time to time (not head games). There are some fun card & board games out there.
Also see if they are able to put together a sentence and paragraph with correct punctuation and spelling. A quick glance at their profile should settle this very quickly. I'm sure it's deliberate when people type all in lowercase and one big paragraph in their profiles however I don't know why they do this. Maybe I'm just not "cool".
There are also other items that may indicate intelligence in your mind. Drive, motivation, potential ... | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 5/22/2006 1:22:07 PM |
He was on the Senate as a human rights advisor for miniorities. He got his doctorate while running a large company on the side. His father taught native children on reserves. Don't paint everyone with the same brush. Some people get involved in politics to try to make a difference.
Somehow I knew this wouldn't be understood.
Anyhow, if I offended you, I sincerely apologize.
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thgjdogg...
I would like to answer you but like you said, it would be out of topic...... | |
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