| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 7:32:18 AM | IQ is a very broad and extremely complex issue. The various forms of intelligence have not fully been explained or understood by the medical and psychological associations. To even continue a discussion on the subject would be mostly hypothesis and unconfirmed subjective opinion.
Those with higher IQ's don't necessarily have higher quality of life, or the ability to have better relationships. We know that much. General IQ simply does not provide enough information to decide the compatibility between two people. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 8:28:01 AM | A psychologist from Texas offered the following analogy re the value of IQ tests:
“Back home,” he said, “when we were trying to evaluate the weight of a pig, we would balance a strong branch across a fence and tie the pig to one end of that branch. We would attach one rock after another to the other end until we found one that balanced the pig.
“Then we would step back and try to guess the weight of that rock.”
Then there is this: Hearing so many people speaking ill about his intelligence level, George double you Bush decided to get his brain checked. The physician’s diagnosis was as follows:
“Mr. President, you have two brains, the left and the right, like all normal people. But the problem is that in your left brain there is nothing right and in your right brain there is nothing left.” | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 10:46:52 AM | | People can always improve their IQ if they want to..... personally I want someone who I can relate to on a day to day basis - If I want a discussion on quantum theory then I can always hit the forums. | |
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 105 | |
| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 11:49:32 AM |
I prefer Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences
I'd have to tend to agree. If you lack maturity in any of those areas, it will affect your judgment in the rest.
The relationships I had with those with high IQs I ended because they lacked emotional or social maturity. Some had developed narcissistic attitudes from being treated "special" due to their high IQ scores as children. Some had some pretty major control issues. Both of which are extremely damaging to relationships.
So still looking for a smart guy but one who isn't anal or arrogant about his intelligence. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 11:58:47 AM | | I have a fairly high I.Q, but am dumb as a post about some math concepts and if I had to put together a jigsaw puzzle quickly I wouldn't be able to do a great job at finishing the task. I have dated some smart men who had poor social skills, some average men who had great personalities and street smarts. Most of us have some areas that are weaker than others, and finding someone who meshes well with our personality and intelligence traits seems so difficult, especially as we get older. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 12:07:14 PM | | I don't think that I am overly intelligent, but have always surrounding myself with those who are and think it kinda rubs off a little. I wouldn't go out with someone who wasn't very intelligent. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 12:12:30 PM | A psychologist measured mine in 2005 with the Weshcler Adult Inventory Scale (third Edition) at a general Intelligence factor of 108. A Verbal IQ of 113 and a Performance IQ of 102.
So just short of being deemed as bright. But I scored below average in the working memory tests and the speed at which I think at. Of course the one IQ number alone tells very little about a person's stregths and weakneses.
So with that in consideration, I applied for the results of my subtests and read about a half dozen books on psychometric inteligence to make sense of the more detailed results.
So there you go...Decide for your-self, if you think I am smart or not. Personally I don't see myself as being all that smart.
On a more relevent note, IQ in dating means nothing to me, I would be happy dating a lady with an IQ of 80 given that she has a great ,"content of character".
I don't like intellectual vanity and I don't much like this thread, sorry.
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 12:42:25 PM | I find that having common values is of far greater importance in a relationship than level of intelligence, interests, whatever. Speaking as a person of above average intellect, I have also found that "smart" people are often too smart for their own good and outsmart themselves in the end.
And I can't stand snobbery of any kind. "Specially intellectual snobbery and the bandying about of $50 dollar words... like being incomprehensible to the masses is somehow a sign of great intellect, which it isn't. | |
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 110 | |
| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 2:14:21 PM |
Really smart people know how to be effective around even the stupid.
I got a giggle out of this one. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. You can act, say, do all kinds of stuff because you're ignorant of the outcomes and the impacts your actions have. When you are aware, you feel guilty and responsible.
Doesn't stop the frustration you might feel though when someone is always shooting themselves in the foot or getting upset at you for doing things which are actually right, they just don't have the vision to see it. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 3:43:15 PM | 10 to 20 iq points is a lot. should someone with an iq of 100 date someone with an iq of 80?
chimps have iq's of 80. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 6:02:02 PM | | The whole arguement is a bit crazy. Figuring out the intellectual capacity of people is not very difficult, depending on where you are. The difficult part comes with dealing with people that THINK they are intelligent, but by deed and actions prove they are not. In my 57 years, I cannot tell anybody what the IQ of people I met may be, but I can certainly tell if they are intelligent. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/21/2007 11:42:17 PM | This isn't something to really worry about. We don't even have a reliable method of measuring IQ, so this information may not even me credible and accurate. It's been found that IQ tests are bias.
Putting that aside, if you want to take this information into account then look for someone who seems to have about the same intelligence as you. You don't need to take an IQ test to figure this out. Normally I can tell if I'm smarter, my partner is smarter, or if it's pretty close and my guess is that you can probably tell, too.
-Drew- | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 12:38:25 AM | | Vorpal bunny: Does Gartner have tests to measure each one of those in his book? That would be interesting to do. I found some pretty good ones that had some variance over on a website, I think it was healthwellness.com, but nowhere near as wide in variety in that list. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 1:10:34 AM | | IQ as measured on written tests is pretty much a joke. The best way to identify a psychopath is someone who claims to have an IQ of 160. Looks and athletic prowess are more important in life anyway. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 3:43:05 AM | My IQ is probably different everyday. Some days, I feel like it's at 140. Others, it feels like it's at 75.
Seriously, do we need to torment ourselves with something this abstract? | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:54:16 AM |
It makes some sense but how the heck do I find out someone's IQ?
That's easy... with every woman you meet, stare shamelessly at her chest. See if you can sneak in a cheap feel here and there.
None of that will tell you her IQ, but that's more of a pillow talk thing anyways. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:27:03 AM | Well, you can ask, but I don't know what my IQ is. I suppose I should take a test!
I personally don't like to be with someone that is not as intelligent as I am. If they are more intelligent, that is fine.
Like someone posted earler though, Someone can have a very high IQ and have no common sense. I have a good friend like that and have dated men like that. These people with the high IQs will sometimes do things that would make an observer think they were idiots.
I personally think my IQ is probably above average and I have a good amount of common sense. I look for that in the opposite sex, and I've never heard of these seminars!
Of course, in addition to that, I also look for personality, attraction, health, etc. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 9:39:46 AM | | About half the people I meet have a below average IQ. I just can't deal with that. ;-) | |
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 120 | |
| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 1:48:48 PM | There are three types of so called 'smart' people out there that I think stand out more....
1. They are not really smart, they are disordered. They are obsessed with perfection and can't stand being wrong. To those with lower IQs they can seem smart, to those with higher IQs and a bit of emotional maturity, they are a puss ball.
2. For those who have higher IQs, are spunky, but still have some emotionally maturity, they appear smart almost effortlessly. They are less likely to use big words because understanding is more important than appearances. They are not likely to focus on things like your spelling. When they are wrong it hurts but is unlikely to provoke a defensive reaction instead it adds to the body of knowledge so its all good. They don't seek out to undermine the intelligence of those around them unless they run into a puss ball of course. Then its an opportunity to let out some pent up aggression on someone who likely needs a wake-up call.
3. Those with higher IQs who are really peaceful and avoid conflict. You get they are intelligent but don't always get to see just how much. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 2:42:27 PM | | No wonder I haven't found anyone yet... mine is 141! I took it through British Mensa. | |
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 122 | |
| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 2:52:26 PM | << Contentious, non-mellifluous, always right and noticing that LBP said "emotionally maturity" which is SOO grammatically incorrect.
That makes me a #3 - and if you don’t believe me we can take it outside. | |
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LBP
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Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 123 | |
| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 3:02:23 PM | ^^^
crap, doesn't that suck? lol I'll admit to being wrong but blame the dude on msn I was talking to when I was trying to write it.
I want to be #3!!! But I'm not...too boisterous. | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 3:53:42 PM | If someone thinks like you, they're for you. If they don't think like you, they're not for you.
Life is simple. We make it complicated.
-IPB | |
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| The IQ in relationships
Posted: 1/22/2007 4:09:25 PM | OP: Not everyone even knows their IQ, and people with very high IQs can be quite strange. I should know, I grew up the stupid kid in a family full of geniuses. When I took my IQ test in grammar school my parents wouldn't tell me what it was, because to them if your IQ wasn't in the 170s you were an idiot. So, boy was I an idiot.
Never mind, I graduated in the top 2 percent of my class in college (but I had to study and go to classes, where no one else in my family had to pay such close attention), had responsible jobs, and did pretty good work on the NY Times Sunday crossword puzzle.
I never did find out what my grammar school IQ test score was, but when I was an adult, I found out it was 130 when I took an IQ test at an executive outplacement agency. I was married twice, and both of my husbands had the same IQ 165 -- that is quite a bit more than 10 or 20 points above mine. I got a long with both of them very well, and never felt any dumber than either of them.
Fortunately, my husbands weren't nearly as quirky as my family, who's very high intelligence levels caused dysfunction in some of the more mundane things. I remember my mother bringing me a pair of ripped pants down to Virginia from New York for me to fix. When I was a kid, I was the only one who could do simple things like learn how to sew, or learn to speak Spanish (for that matter) so someone could communicate with the housekeeper. It didn't occur to my mother that the corner dry cleaner would have been happy to fix her pants, all she could remember was that a few years back when I was living at home I did that stuff. So very high IQ can sometimes come with some very, very quirky behavior. That's just one small example. I could do a standup routine from my childhood experiences. Maybe that will be my third career, lol.
Anyway, I don't think that IQ makes that much difference unless there's a huge disparity, or one of you just doesn't have any intellectual curiosity and the other does.
I always liked to read, and liked to learn new things, so even though my husbands were a lot "smarter" than I was, I don't think they really thought of me as the less intelligent in the relationship.
FWIW
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